Tuesday, March 18, 2008

March 18, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)


Assiduously avoiding attempts to seduce me into debate/dialogue about the femininization of the mainline turned sideline denominations and American politics, I'm still compelled to sound the warning: "Beware of church ladies bearing gifts!"

I picked up some sociospiritual viruses from 'em as a young ecclesiastical boy wonder; and I've needed a daily injection of Jesus ever since.

Here's my psychospiritual diagnosis.

First, they inspect, detect, reject, and trumpet what's wrong with everybody but themselves.

Second, they are always right.

Third, they like to talk to pastors about everybody's underbellies; and when they're with everybody else, they like to talk about the fallibilities, foibles, and failures of pastors.

Fourth, they like to light fires so folks are distracted from seeing their lives in flames.

Fifth, they never go away.

Sixth, they've never read John 13:34 or Romans 12:3.


I don't like the number six.

It brings bad things to mind.

With the previous tribute in mind, there's another mistake in KDVI; and you can have another one of my books which no one's buying anyway if you find it and send a preferred address.


Speaking of apocalyptic stuff, is it just me or doesn't someone running for President bring a character in the Left Behind series to mind?


If I were JM, I'd get on my knees and beg Connecticut's JL, General CP, or SofS CR to run avec moi.


Watching coverage of Election 2008, I began to sing spontaneously with The Doors: "This is the end, my only friend, the end..."


Well, go on and read Matthew 24 and Mark 13.


I may be wrong, but I see the collective you seeing HRC as the Howard Cosell of American politics, JM looking like a charter member of AARP, and BHO being the most likeable but needing counsel on picking buddies.


Ergo, looking for a reason to vote for somebody in November, I've developed my criteria for each aspirant.

I'll vote for BHO if he admits Jeremiah Wright is a total or near-total _____.

I'll vote for HRC if she stops wearing a Yankee hat; and for the particularly dense, that's a metaphor.

I'll vote for JM if he'll urge Republicans to read Matthew 25.


Thinking about my criteria juxtaposed to church ladies, have you ever noticed you can never measure up to 'em until you've read the books they've read, been to the conferences they've attended, shared the same hobbies, obsess about the same stuff...?


Pearl comes to mind.

She asked me to shave off my beard when I was 29 and still young enough to try pleasing everybody without conscience or self-consciousness.

I did.

When she saw my freshly shaven eight ball, she said, "Now about your moustache!"


If they're going to banter and moan about you anyway and you know you're never going to please 'em no matter what you say, do, or they assume you think, then why not pray and labor to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth according to Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture?


Gotta stop.

I've got something in my eye.


Blessings and Love!

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