Friday, March 7, 2008

March 7, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

I've been conducting a random pseudo-scientific survey on who's already had enough of JM, HRC/WJC, BHO, and Election 2008; or, asked less aptly, "Do you wish it were over tomorrow?"

With a margin of error narrower than my mother's opinion of anyone from Arkansas who's still in the marathon, 97% of all who bite say they can't wait until it's over.

Then I remind 'em that the day after the election is about a month away from next winter.

Considering the cast of candidates, we may have a metaphor for a Narnian winter which is a metaphor for really bad news.

@#$%

Don't worry.

KD(I) has projected the best of this bad lot will win Reaganesquely on 11/4 without recounting or rigging.

What's up with the greatest empire in history coming up/down/sideways with these three as finalists?

Be that as it is, let's pray Psalm 72 for whoever's sworn in after the swearing ends; because we want His best for whoever wins because we want His best for the victims of whoever wins.

Unless you're as sick as those hyper-conservative talking heads who encourage voting for the worst of theirs as the more vulnerable to victory for theirs, you're not about to risk the inauguration of my mother's worst nightmare.

Maybe lots worked when picking Judas' successor, but I'm not about to gamble with stakes this high.

@#$%

Long before the first primary was fixed in granite, I predicted white women - especially angry ones - would vote overwhelmingly/resoundingly for HRC without ideological conscience.

Simply, I sensed HRC/WJC is the revenge of angry white women against, uh, men for a plethora of realities and rationalizations.

Always wanting to tell you so because I told you so, exit polling confirms my prognosis of gender pathologies playing a profound role in the primaries.

Ergo, women will prove to be the stronger sex in devolving American culture if HRC/WJC become(s) our next, gulp, gasp, sigh, President.

@#$%

Have you noticed every picture of HRC/WJC is with mouth(s) wide open?

May I speak to Sigmund, please?

@#$%

A woman confronted me about my thinly veiled disdain for HRC/WJC; and she is especially mad at me for suggesting her/his main constituency is angry white women.

"Damn you for saying that," she said before storming off.

@#$%

Whoa!

That's a lot of politics for one KD.

Well, considering the curious choices for these precarious times, I'd say it's worth some space...and considerable prayer.

@#$%

Aside from HRC/WJC, I've got other pet peeves like restaurants charging extra for bleu cheese, slow fast food, coffee lids that don't work when you're driving after you placed it you know where, staplers without staples, fair weather fans, mainline clergy who never talk about Jesus, and especially people who love Jesus by hating others.

But because I've talked/bantered/vented/agitated/assumed/assayed so much about politics in this edition, I'll include my weariness of partisan politics.

Doesn't it strike you as intellectually dishonest or downright dense to advocate one party as absolutely pure and perfect and the other as irrevocably polluted and perditious?

Listening to too many Democrats and Republicans has convinced me that they'd vote for Satan if he/she/it were their party's nominee.

I think of mainline clergy.

They're like flies on poop when it comes to the rulings of their governing bodies; chaining faith and morality to the last popular vote.

So church and society have more than less in common these days: any connection between them and Jesus is coincidental.

@#$%

Some readers think I'm having too much fun in these KDs.

I am.

The enduring source of fun is intimacy with Jesus; for if I didn't hang out with Him more than less these days, I'd be crying all of the time as I watch mainline denominations abandon their Biblically Christocentric heritage for auto-suggested-self-indulgent ideologies which insult His holiness and help no one.

Reading Psalm 2 helps.

I tell preaching students: "Humor is intended to hook the hearer; and when you get 'em laughing, you can stick in the surgical knife of truth to save their souls before they know what hit 'em."

@#$%

O.K., so you don't like my style either.

Fair enough.

There are varieties of ways to serve Him.

It's Biblical; and it means my way is no better nor no worse than your way as long as we point to His way, truth, and life.

Moody comes to mind.

He was criticized by a mainliner for his style of evangelism; so he said, "I prefer the way I do it to the way you don't do it."

@#$%

My style got me into a lot of trouble with a very stylish church; and you can read about it in Fifteen Secrets for Life and Ministry (go to www.amazon.com or send a preferred address to me along with a promise to pay for it and I'll ship it out asap) which is running behind anything written by Warren by about a billion to one.

A truly distinguished gentleman said, "You mentioned Jesus 38 times in the last worship service. I counted."

I asked, "Did you expect me to say more about Jonathan Livingston Seagull?"

"You, my young Dr. Kopp, are a real smart___," he snapped.

"Ah," I slipped back, "I'm not that smart."

"Truth is," he went on, "you think everything is so funny; and we're just sick and tired of your iconoclastic attitudes. We've decided you're the wrong coach for our team."

A lot younger and bolder, I said, "I know ya'll used to owning people down here; but I'm a tough young boy."

"You," he said with eyes turning crimson, "have no idea how tough we are. So let's do this the easy way. How much will it cost for you to leave without a lot of fussing?"

"Well," I asked, "how much you got?"

He didn't think that was funny either.

Buy the book for the rest of the story.

@#$%

I could have handled that much better.

I didn't; and I squandered a really great opportunity to advance His kingdom in that neck of the woods.

While I still make mistakes, I'm just trying to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable with the good news of Jesus.

While I'm probably wrong on lots of stuff and trust you'll be kind enough to correct me, I'm just trying to tell the truth as personified in Jesus and prescribed in Holy Scripture...

...and have some fun along the way.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

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