Saturday, May 10, 2008

May 10, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)


Tuesday is a really big day for HRC and BHO.

Pivotal primaries will be held in Kentucky and West Virginia.

My guess is HRC wins big but not big enough to stop the increasingly inevitable nomination of BHO who has about as much of a chance of succeeding GWB as I have of ever getting appointed/elected to anything other than the Committee to Review Session Minutes; which won't happen either because everybody knows I think that's about as important as cleaning up after Kopper when we're walking along the Rock River.

Go back to KDI.


Kentucky makes Pennsylvania's "T" (central and northern tier), which threw a life preserver to HRC, look like San Francisco's Castro District.


West Virginia's senior Senator was a card-carrying KKK member; and a lot of my black brothers still think he's with 'em which is why they say the only safe place for a non-ridge runner is playing cornerback in Morgantown.


I was right about their constituencies.

HRC's fans are seniors, angry white women, RCs, blue collar workers, and, as BHO would say, other dumb rednecks.

BHO's fans include most African-Americans, college students, city slickers, just about anyone who is not a card-carrying member of AARP, and, as ineffectual intellectuals with no experience either like to say, really smart people with lots of education which has equipped them to do very little while criticizing those who really work for a living.

JM - remember the guy with the short statu...,uh, I mean fuse - has fans too; and he's gonna win.

Go back to KDI.


I've got a bet with a really successful businessman in our church who I really like and who I'm really pressing to fork over for our building project because too many of our folks wait around for others to do what God has called 'em to do and still believe the tithe was discounted to 1.5% by a predecessor who wrote Acts 29.

I'm betting JM wins and he's betting on BHO.

If I win, we're going to a really expensive steak house and I'm adding shrimp!

If he wins, we're hitting the dollar menu at Burger King.

Of course, he's made a lot more money than me over the years; so I'm betting on him.



Speaking of money, we're not going on vacation this year.

It's not the 12Gs; and, no, no one has...

It's not my decision to buy a scooter to get back and forth to church when I get the 12Gs to pay off the Caliber.

Plastic was made for vacation.

It's sports camps; strategically placed throughout the summer to prevent the family from doing anything together.

Kinda like church meetings.


Speaking of church meetings, this Tuesday could be big for our presbytery too.

I'm making a motion or two to can Saturday meetings and cancel summer meetings.

Aside from most ecclesiastical meetings being a colossal waste of time, emotion, energy, and gas - If you ever totaled all of the $ that it costs to hold those inefficacious gatherings, you'd barf; realizing we could do a lot to relieve the world's deprivations if our need to redirect time, emotion, energy, and $ were larger than our need to stand up at meetings to feel important while accomplishing less than GWB's last few years! - William F. Buckley comes to mind as a pre-emptive response to those who are so caught up in the way things never were or maybe were but are no more: "I won't insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said."

I've got three seconders so far; and a lot of sympathizers who are waiting to see who wins before pledging their support.


Pulpiteers and pewsitters do have lots in common.


31 years of ordained ministry and it has come down to these two motions.


Hooray for Oprah!

Unlike her choice for the, uh, White House, she split from JW long ago.

According to one of her longtime friends who requested anonymity because she/he is a coward, "Oprah is a businesswoman, first and foremost. She's always been aware that her audience is very mainstream, and doing anything to offend them just wouldn't be smart. She's been around black churches all her life, so JW's anger-filled message didn't surprise her. But it just wasn't what she was looking for in a church."


I've got it.

Dear Oprah, please join our family of faith. I need 12Gs to pay off my Caliber. And we really need someone who is really generous like you to pay for the expansion which so many of our members will expect others to do for them. I like your show. O.K., not really. But I like you and your show is lots better than The View; and like most mainline clergywomen/men, I can be bought for the right price. You've helped lots of people who've asked before and..."



That word keeps coming up.

What's so smart about electing HRC, BHO, or JM?

What's so smart about holding meetings on Saturdays?

What's so smart about having so many meetings with content deserving just a few?

What's so smart about KDs?

I never said they are or I am.

I just think we need to think a little more before voting or holding meetings.

There's got to be something more important than just going through, uh, motions.


Blessings and Love!

No comments: