Monday, June 30, 2008

June 30, 2008 Special GA Edition

Special GA Edition
(PCUSA - R.I.P.)

Kopp joins Toby Brown and Dandy Don to sing the lament, "Turn out the lights, the party's over!"

Subscriber responds to this KD's conclusion that the PCUSA's thanatos libido has been fulfilled:

Dear Dr. RRK:

RIP - Reformed In the Past?
RIP - Relativized Into Perdition?
RIP - Religiously Irrelevant Posterity?
RIP - Reveling In Postmodernism?
RIP - Rejected the Idea of Predestination?
RIP - Rejoices In Porneia?

I'd better stop before the schadenfreude bug gets me.

You're a good man, Charlie Brown.

Better than that...you're God's man; even though you're a pile of self-conflicted moral turpitude upheld by Jesus' blood only.

I don't reveal my deeply embedded sources; but I was really tempted on this one!

And to think you get this genre for free!

Speaking of those 11 Gs...

P.S. I said I wouldn't say any more, but I never said...




----- Original Message -----
From: Dr. Robert R. Kopp
Sent: Monday, June 30, 2008 10:04 AM
Subject: Kopp Disclosure (XLIII)

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

I always go to Krispy Kreme for a dozen glazed for the kids, an exotic coffee for the Mrs., and extra bold caffeine pour moi (the first two are guilt offerings) just before heading off to Tupelo Bay on the Grand Strand to hit a few buckets and then visit any number of crack houses (aka golf stores) while on vacation.

Of course, I'm on non-vacation.

So that ain't happening; but I am in my study after a first week of non-vacation filled with counseling and care and administrative directions and monitoring the thanatos libido of the PCUSA which is fast becoming the leader of the losers moving from the mainline to the sideline of American/global religious life.

@#$%

With all apologies to my Biblically ecumenical subscribers, this KD is dedicated (RIP) to the increasingly irrelevant PCUSA.

Parenthetically, when have you ever heard anyone ask what the PCUSA thinks about anything of national/global consequence?

Anyway, my Biblically ecumenical subscribers should pay attention to this KD because they're gonna have a lot of PCUSA visitors looking for a new church home.

@#$%

Have you ever asked any of those Welcome Wagoners how many believers moving into town are looking for a mainline church?

That's why so many of 'em are changing their names.

They are trying to avoid guilt by association.

It's hard for mainline-associated churches which still love Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture and upheld by their constitutions so precariously to attract folks who love Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture because of the earned reputation of mainliners of no longer loving Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture.

@#$%

Before going (venting) on, I'm reminded of an exchange between AG and GWB during one of their exhilarating Presidential debates.

AG was upset with GWB because he was gettin' "snippy" about AG's concerns about GWB which have become all too apparent since GWB hit his Presidential peak in response to 9/11/01.

So this KD may be more snippy than, uh, usual.

I'll allow my subscribers to judge; which has never seemed to be a problem for them.

@#$%

If you want to know the whole story of this year's bad news GA, you've got two choices: www.presbyweb.com which is the best source for finding out what's going on from all perspectives and www.layman.org which is the best source for finding out who's really barking without much bite over what went so awfully wrong.

I wouldn't bother with the franchise's official website; because, uh, it's one of the enablers of what went wrong.

@#$%

You've got three main players in the franchise: (1) the apostate who have a "decided" majority across the boards; (2) the accommodating who have the most numbers but acquiesce to whoever's winning at any particular moment a la German Christians during the rise of Nazism; and (3) those who still love Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture and upheld by the constitution so precariously.

Oh, yeah, some folks contend with that simplistic demographic.

They are the same ones who do nothing while criticizing those who do something; reminding me of Moody's retort to a mainliner who complained about how he "did" evangelism: "I prefer the way I do it to the way you don't do it."

@#$%

I was asked how this could ever happen to the PCUSA with its faithful heritage.

Diagnosis:

1. Clergy who did not understand the questions
when ordained (ignorant);

2. Clergy who lied when asked the questions
at ordination (deceptive);

3. Clergy who have changed their minds about
the questions since ordination yet lack
the integrity to demit (pathetic); and

4. Unconverted clergy enabling unconvinced
laity (spiral of apostasy).

Cure: "Come, Lord Jesus!"

@#$%

We're about to launch a big building program in our local family of faith at First; and I've been flooded with concerns about the effect of the franchise on our call to "pray and labor to be a beacon and a safe haven for a lost and dying world in the heart of Belvidere, surrounding communities in Boone and Winnebago Counties, and as far as our Lord calls, compels, and enables us to reach."

Fortunately, we're in a presbytery which, a little more than less these days, still loves Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture and upheld by our constitution so precariously.

Fact is category 3 outnumbers categories 1 and 2 as noted in this KD's description of the players (section 6) in our presbytery.

So we're safe to be for Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture so far.

@#$%

I was asked why I am so passionately persuaded when it comes to remaining to be faithful rather than separating to be faithful.

Certainly, I've written lots about that already; and those columns have been carried by several publications which have many more paying subscribers than anything from me.

But don't feel guilty about those 11Gs unless you are.

Borrowing a strategy from BHO and JM, there may be a few "nuances" to my thoughts.

First, the less than noble reasons for remaining: (1) cost of litigation; (2) detouring energies from pastoral care; (3) inherited ignorance of clergy and congregants who have trusted the franchise which has resulted in an almost insurmountable learning curve; (4) presbyters who are mesmerized by polity and process over principles which drags out common sense to nonsense and numbs any desire to get involved; and (5) I need more time to get my handicap down into single digits.

Second (Whoa!), the noble reasons: (1) Biblical imperatives to witness in and out of season; (2) His compelling call to be salt and light; (3) Jesus does grant permission to retreat into neo-monasticism but to engage in the exhortation to confession and repentance; (4) His call to "go into the world" with the gospel and the PCUSA is as worldly as it gets; (5) Bonhoeffer's The Cost of Discipleship; (6) the beast should not be fed on the tithes, offerings, properties, and assets of our faithful predecessors and their continuing kin; and (7) John 3:17, 1 Timothy 2, et.al.

Besides, the property clause will fall.

You can't be selective about constitutional compliance and get away with it, uh, forever.

Some smart lawyer is gonna convince some court somewhere that if you can "scruple" Biblical/confessional/constitutional faith and morality, you can...

@#$%

And a special note for those who are waking up about now!

C'mon, friends!

It's a little late to start bantering and moaning about the increasing apostasies of the PCUSA.

Ignore 'em and just share the good news of Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture and upheld by our constitution so far.

Besides, we're such an increasingly irrelevant player in American/global religious life.

We claim over 2 million members but - Wink! Wink! - everybody knows there are less than a million really active ones.

Paris Hilton and Pacman Jones have bigger fan clubs.

But, uh, you may want to rethink, uh, reimagine as it were/is, feeding the beast with the $ of your faithful constituents who may start redirecting their $ from you if you don't.

There is no way anyone who loves Jesus can ask people who love Jesus to fund anyone who doesn't love Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture and upheld by our constitution so far and so precariously.

@#$%

Again, I apologize to my Biblically ecumenical subscribers for this parochial parenthesis; but, on the other hand, again, you need to be prepared for all of those folks who are gonna be knocking at your doors if their, uh, particular mainline church pastors and boards continue to pretend everything's-gonna-be-O.K. like some sick B film starring O.J. and Leslie Nielson: "Nothing to see here! All is well! Nothing to see here! All is well!"

@#$%

As pour moi, I'm joining Toby and exercising creative neglect to the max from now on when it comes to the franchise.

The lampstand's been removed anyway.

I'll pray and labor in our family of faith and our presbytery concomitant to Matthew 10 and John 10; but I ain't wastin' any more time, emotion, or energy on something that never was or maybe was but ain't no more.

GA died in San Jose because they, uh, did not "know the way to..."

@#$%

On a brighter note, I went to a really great worship service at Westminster Presbyterian Church in Aurora, Illinois because I'm, uh, on non-vacation and wanted to encourage a remaining to be faithful franchiser like me and wanted my children and wife to hear someone who still loves Jesus and heralds Biblical faith and morality.

The pastor is gonna be 50 within the week.

He can't believe it!

Well, his sermon was riveted to 1 Corinthians 12:12-13.

Can you believe it?

It was superb; and as a homiletical professor at CEDS which is a good place to redirect your $, I'd give an A+ to him.

Assuming Jesus as Lord and Savior as attested in Holy Scripture, he said our unity is required by our common denominator of faith, revealed in our unique relationships through and for Him, and results in mutual affections and actions. He went on to talk about Biblical inclusions and refreshment whenever His people are hanging out together.

Considering all of the bad news in the PCUSA which I will not mention again after tapping the "send" function - Thanks, Toby, for reminding me to practice the creative neglect which I coined in Fifteen Secrets which no one including me, I guess, ever regards! - I was blessed by the good news through a member of the remnant remaining to be faithful.

@#$%

Back to non-vacation.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

June 30, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

I always go to Krispy Kreme for a dozen glazed for the kids, an exotic coffee for the Mrs., and extra bold caffeine pour moi (the first two are guilt offerings) just before heading off to Tupelo Bay on the Grand Strand to hit a few buckets and then visit any number of crack houses (aka golf stores) while on vacation.

Of course, I'm on non-vacation.

So that ain't happening; but I am in my study after a first week of non-vacation filled with counseling and care and administrative directions and monitoring the thanatos libido of the PCUSA which is fast becoming the leader of the losers moving from the mainline to the sideline of American/global religious life.

@#$%

With all apologies to my Biblically ecumenical subscribers, this KD is dedicated (RIP) to the increasingly irrelevant PCUSA.

Parenthetically, when have you ever heard anyone ask what the PCUSA thinks about anything of national/global consequence?

Anyway, my Biblically ecumenical subscribers should pay attention to this KD because they're gonna have a lot of PCUSA visitors looking for a new church home.

@#$%

Have you ever asked any of those Welcome Wagoners how many believers moving into town are looking for a mainline church?

That's why so many of 'em are changing their names.

They are trying to avoid guilt by association.

It's hard for mainline-associated churches which still love Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture and upheld by their constitutions so precariously to attract folks who love Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture because of the earned reputation of mainliners of no longer loving Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture.

@#$%

Before going (venting) on, I'm reminded of an exchange between AG and GWB during one of their exhilarating Presidential debates.

AG was upset with GWB because he was gettin' "snippy" about AG's concerns about GWB which have become all too apparent since GWB hit his Presidential peak in response to 9/11/01.

So this KD may be more snippy than, uh, usual.

I'll allow my subscribers to judge; which has never seemed to be a problem for them.

@#$%

If you want to know the whole story of this year's bad news GA, you've got two choices: www.presbyweb.com which is the best source for finding out what's going on from all perspectives and www.layman.org which is the best source for finding out who's really barking without much bite over what went so awfully wrong.

I wouldn't bother with the franchise's official website; because, uh, it's one of the enablers of what went wrong.

@#$%

You've got three main players in the franchise: (1) the apostate who have a "decided" majority across the boards; (2) the accommodating who have the most numbers but acquiesce to whoever's winning at any particular moment a la German Christians during the rise of Nazism; and (3) those who still love Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture and upheld by the constitution so precariously.

Oh, yeah, some folks contend with that simplistic demographic.

They are the same ones who do nothing while criticizing those who do something; reminding me of Moody's retort to a mainliner who complained about how he "did" evangelism: "I prefer the way I do it to the way you don't do it."

@#$%

I was asked how this could ever happen to the PCUSA with its faithful heritage.

Diagnosis:

1. Clergy who did not understand the questions
when ordained (ignorant);

2. Clergy who lied when asked the questions
at ordination (deceptive);

3. Clergy who have changed their minds about
the questions since ordination yet lack
the integrity to demit (pathetic); and

4. Unconverted clergy enabling unconvinced
laity (spiral of apostasy).

Cure: "Come, Lord Jesus!"

@#$%

We're about to launch a big building program in our local family of faith at First; and I've been flooded with concerns about the effect of the franchise on our call to "pray and labor to be a beacon and a safe haven for a lost and dying world in the heart of Belvidere, surrounding communities in Boone and Winnebago Counties, and as far as our Lord calls, compels, and enables us to reach."

Fortunately, we're in a presbytery which, a little more than less these days, still loves Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture and upheld by our constitution so precariously.

Fact is category 3 outnumbers categories 1 and 2 as noted in this KD's description of the players (section 6) in our presbytery.

So we're safe to be for Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture so far.

@#$%

I was asked why I am so passionately persuaded when it comes to remaining to be faithful rather than separating to be faithful.

Certainly, I've written lots about that already; and those columns have been carried by several publications which have many more paying subscribers than anything from me.

But don't feel guilty about those 11Gs unless you are.

Borrowing a strategy from BHO and JM, there may be a few "nuances" to my thoughts.

First, the less than noble reasons for remaining: (1) cost of litigation; (2) detouring energies from pastoral care; (3) inherited ignorance of clergy and congregants who have trusted the franchise which has resulted in an almost insurmountable learning curve; (4) presbyters who are mesmerized by polity and process over principles which drags out common sense to nonsense and numbs any desire to get involved; and (5) I need more time to get my handicap down into single digits.

Second (Whoa!), the noble reasons: (1) Biblical imperatives to witness in and out of season; (2) His compelling call to be salt and light; (3) Jesus does grant permission to retreat into neo-monasticism but to engage in the exhortation to confession and repentance; (4) His call to "go into the world" with the gospel and the PCUSA is as worldly as it gets; (5) Bonhoeffer's The Cost of Discipleship; (6) the beast should not be fed on the tithes, offerings, properties, and assets of our faithful predecessors and their continuing kin; and (7) John 3:17, 1 Timothy 2, et.al.

Besides, the property clause will fall.

You can't be selective about constitutional compliance and get away with it, uh, forever.

Some smart lawyer is gonna convince some court somewhere that if you can "scruple" Biblical/confessional/constitutional faith and morality, you can...

@#$%

And a special note for those who are waking up about now!

C'mon, friends!

It's a little late to start bantering and moaning about the increasing apostasies of the PCUSA.

Ignore 'em and just share the good news of Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture and upheld by our constitution so far.

Besides, we're such an increasingly irrelevant player in American/global religious life.

We claim over 2 million members but - Wink! Wink! - everybody knows there are less than a million really active ones.

Paris Hilton and Pacman Jones have bigger fan clubs.

But, uh, you may want to rethink, uh, reimagine as it were/is, feeding the beast with the $ of your faithful constituents who may start redirecting their $ from you if you don't.

There is no way anyone who loves Jesus can ask people who love Jesus to fund anyone who doesn't love Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture and upheld by our constitution so far and so precariously.

@#$%

Again, I apologize to my Biblically ecumenical subscribers for this parochial parenthesis; but, on the other hand, again, you need to be prepared for all of those folks who are gonna be knocking at your doors if their, uh, particular mainline church pastors and boards continue to pretend everything's-gonna-be-O.K. like some sick B film starring O.J. and Leslie Nielson: "Nothing to see here! All is well! Nothing to see here! All is well!"

@#$%

As pour moi, I'm joining Toby and exercising creative neglect to the max from now on when it comes to the franchise.

The lampstand's been removed anyway.

I'll pray and labor in our family of faith and our presbytery concomitant to Matthew 10 and John 10; but I ain't wastin' any more time, emotion, or energy on something that never was or maybe was but ain't no more.

GA died in San Jose because they, uh, did not "know the way to..."

@#$%

On a brighter note, I went to a really great worship service at Westminster Presbyterian Church in Aurora, Illinois because I'm, uh, on non-vacation and wanted to encourage a remaining to be faithful franchiser like me and wanted my children and wife to hear someone who still loves Jesus and heralds Biblical faith and morality.

The pastor is gonna be 50 within the week.

He can't believe it!

Well, his sermon was riveted to 1 Corinthians 12:12-13.

Can you believe it?

It was superb; and as a homiletical professor at CEDS which is a good place to redirect your $, I'd give an A+ to him.

Assuming Jesus as Lord and Savior as attested in Holy Scripture, he said our unity is required by our common denominator of faith, revealed in our unique relationships through and for Him, and results in mutual affections and actions. He went on to talk about Biblical inclusions and refreshment whenever His people are hanging out together.

Considering all of the bad news in the PCUSA which I will not mention again after tapping the "send" function - Thanks, Toby, for reminding me to practice the creative neglect which I coined in Fifteen Secrets which no one including me, I guess, ever regards! - I was blessed by the good news through a member of the remnant remaining to be faithful.

@#$%

Back to non-vacation.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

June 26, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

I'm enjoying non-vacation.

As a parent, I like being with the boys in town and immersing myself in their calendars without the stresses of juggling my calendar around theirs or theirs around mine or, uh, whatever.

As a pastor, I like (beruf for the spiritually bent) being around for crises and hospitalizations, which have no respect for my calendar, without the stresses of absentee ministry; including the inevitable resentments when "pastor" is not around whenever "we" want her/him for whatever reason as if...

As a partner, uh, well, hmm....[How do I say this?]...I'm, uh, well, hmm, being reminded of my hermeneutical skills which do not include the stresses of being the non-handyman who can handle Hebrew and Greek a lot better than a leaky faucet; which may be why guys like me need to get away from the house instead of staying close to the house when on, uh, well, hmm, any kind of, uh, well, hmm, whatever.

@#$%

Non-vacation is good for catching up on the bad news in the news.

@#$%

Have you ever noticed how guys/gals like BO, SH, RL, AC, and kin are always so busy looking for sin in everybody but themselves?

It's kinda unfair and imbalanced.

Oops.

@#$%

It's kinda like JJ counseling BC on marital fidelity.

@#$%

Speaking of bad news, don't go to www.presbyweb.com or especially www.layman.org if you've ever loved the PCUSA and thanked God for using it to enable your relationship with Jesus.

Any connection between the PCUSA and Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture and upheld by our constitution is increasingly coincidental.

Thank God the Kingdom does not rise or fall on the PCUSA.

@#$%

A friend from Pennsylvania who is a little to lot left of me wrote, "You said something about GA. Does our denomination still have meetings? I didn't know anybody was left."

@#$%

A friend from Florida who is pretty dang theologically close to me and constantly bugs me about bringing out His best in my life and ministry provided some advice on how to spend three days at an annual denominational meeting in the mainline: "You call in on the first day to say you have car trouble; then stop at a motel and play golf. You are everywhere at the meeting on the second day, making every motion and seconding your own, so that you're totally visible and no one can say you weren't there. You have your secretary call you on the third day because of an emergency funeral which requires you to return home asap; and then you repeat day one!"

He added, "Somehow I believe you will appreciate this plan."

Geez.

@#$%

BHO has a brilliant political strategy.

If anyone disagrees, questions, or otherwise contends with him, that person is branded a racist.

JM, uh, has no perceptible political strategy other than alienating as many Republicans as possible.

@#$%

Imus just doesn't get it.

WASP men cannot tell jokes about women, gays, or other ethnic groups.

Women, gays, and other ethnic groups don't find anything funny about WASP men trying to have fun at their expense.

That's a fact, Jack.

Unless they're looking for trouble or are really MC pigs, homophobes, or racists, crackers shake salt on themselves.

@#$%

Of course, it's O.K. for women, gays, and other ethnic groups to tell jokes about WASP men.

Bill Maher and Chris Rock have figured that out.

If you think that's not fair and balanced, you may be right but you're wrong if you try to fight it.

In one of the very few brighter things ever uttered by JC, he said, "Life isn't fair."

@#$%

Speaking of asterisks, Terry Bradshaw just admitted using steroids while playing for the Steelers in the 70s.

Confirming suspicions of those iron curtains being, uh, tempered steel, does that mean the Steelers cheated a little more or a little less or about the same as the Patriots; or, depending upon one's loyalties and ideologies, is sin as prorated and reimagined as mainliners pretend?

If you're gonna keep MM, BB, and other junkies out of their halls of shame...

Oops.

I forgot.

Go back to the concluding clauses of the second sentence of this section.

@#$%

But I'm on non-vacation; so to quote another great American theologian, "What, Me Worry?"

@#$%

I like golf more than alcohol, weed, ecclesiastical meetings, and other pejorative addictions.

It's legal and healthy.

I thought of that while playing nine with my favorite Special Olympics golf champ yesterday.

@#$%

I try to play with him at least once a week; but it's hard to find folks who will play with him.

He's so honest.

He counts every stroke and doesn't take mulligans because he's not handicapped when it comes to integrity.

He doesn't improve his, uh, lie.

@#$%

He reminds me why He started these KDs.

He reminds me why those forthcoming Augustinian confessions are necessary as well as liberating.

He reminds me why we need Jesus.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

June 24, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

I'm still meeting with our Belvidere Brewers at Starbucks while on my non-vacation.

It was really great today.

Getting into my Caliber (11Gs to go) as we broke around 10:20 a.m., I told someone how much I loved him and he said he loved me too.

@#$%

I don't have enough time to hate anymore.

It takes too much energy and insults Jesus who says loving identifies us as His.

I want to be identified as His sooner for later.

Besides, there are more than enough folks who hate more than love in church and society.

@#$%

Those confessions will probably be included in future KDs; and if someone wants to publish them as well, that'll be cool.

My badgering friend from Florida said I better get sign-offs from family and friends before hitting the keys; but I won't be naming names except mine.

I'm learning to work on logs more than specks.

@#$%

Commenting on recently deceased George Carlin, Bill Maher said, "He had a level of guts and fearlessness that nobody can match...The older he got, the more he didn't give a _____."

I don't know about guts and fearlessness, but I really don't care what anybody thinks anymore about anything as long as I'm trying to honor Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture.

It's thesis #1 in my last book (Fifteen Secrets) which nobody reads because they're too busy buying books by RW and JO: "Remembering you're going to live a lot longer with Jesus than anybody else makes establishing life's priorities a no-brainer."

@#$%

Two more signs of the apocalypse from the PCUSA.

The new moderator makes BHO look like a guardian of traditional values and national security.

The GAC is after the Presbyterian Foundation's money; but doesn't want anyone to know about it (go to www.presbyweb.com for the whole story) which kinda brings John 3:19-21 into play.

@#$%

A flight attendant (female for the curious) said she liked my feet as I was boarding the plane at 7:50 a.m. on Sunday.

I was wearing sandals because I'm on non-vacation.

After offering coffee to me before the courtesy cart blocked access to the restrooms, she, again, said she liked my feet.

I think she was offering more than coffee.

Though I wasn't tempted - I mean feet - I recalled some advice from a nun, "When tempted, turn to the right."

@#$%

Flying gets riskier all the time.

@#$%

The preceding section is a metaphor.

@#$%

I pledged to keep the irons used when I got my first hole-in-one.

That was a long time ago.

While I've broken many pledges over the years - I'll bet you can't wait for those confessions! - I'm keeping this one for two reasons: (1) Well, uh, it's a pledge which is kinda like ordination promises; and (2) 11Gs.

@#$%

Speaking of golf, one of the three Bible studies which I lead every week except when I'm on non-vacation or our family of faith takes a summer break for rest and renewal gave The Golfer's Bible to me just before our/my break.

It's got great devotionals using golf as a metaphor for what's a lot more important than golf.

If you've got a golfer in your life who needs Jesus a lot more than a new set of irons or, uh, sigh, driver, get a copy for her/him (Holman publishers).

@#$%

It's all about Jesus; and being all about Jesus is loving like Jesus to love Jesus.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Monday, June 23, 2008

June 23, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

Tiger, Michael, Jack, and even Barry are missed once they're not around anymore.

Yeah, everybody roots for the underdog; but when the best walk or limp or drop off the stage...

Though it's a ridiculous analogy, I've often used it about pastors when contracted for church mediations.

@#$%

It's kinda cool to blame GWB for everything these days.

Just listen to BHO and JM.

While I've been underwhelmed by his performance in many critical areas of American life and global health, I'd still vote for him if he were running today against HRC, JC, AG, JK, BHO, or JM; and, if you haven't noticed, there hasn't been a terrorist attack on our soil since 9/11/01.

If you're gonna blame him for everything, you've gotta give him credit for something.

@#$%

Come to think of it, I can't think of a real leader in the White House since RR.

@#$%

Speaking of the White House, some deeply embedded sources are telling me that the mayor of the Big Apple has been courted by both aspirants for VP.

Whoa!

What I'm hearing is lots of folks are waiting to see who's nominated for VP before deciding who gets their vote.

@#$%

I'm in the first week of my non-vacation.

I say non-vacation because I'm doin' just about everything but preachin' for a few weeks - like today which ended up with five counseling appointments over the telephone and two in person along with the daily pastoral e-mail exchanges.

We were supposed to be at the beach by now for a few weeks; but for the first time in nearly two decades, we're, uh, beached because of the athletic calendars of our younger boys.

Actually, it's O.K. because I'm really anal about hospitalizations; which means I can be wherever for whomever no matter whatever whenever.

@#$%

I confess getting a tad ticked when someone complained about inviting friends to worship when I wasn't preaching.

I guess it was intended as a compliment more than criticism; but, I confess again, I did say, "Even I need a vacation."

Though tempted to talk about the months that go by without taking a day off or the weeks of vacation and continuing education that have never been used and suggesting they be totaled so I can pay off those 11Gs (Brilliant!), I don't even though I just did because, well, uh, you'll find out when my friend from Florida gets his way and I start writing those Augustinian confessions.

@#$%

My youngest put it all into perspective for me this morning: "You know, dad, we like you at home."

@#$%

I know three older ones who resent...

@#$%

Do you ever wonder why PKs can be so obnoxious?

Go back to the preceding sections of this KD.

Maybe if churches treated their dads with a modicum of what they expect from them...

@#$%

Getting back to who's missed when they're not around anymore, I often tell sessions (mine and others when mediating) to consider the cost of replacement against the cost of retaining.

We're gonna face that pretty soon in our family of faith with two or three folks.

Churches have this nasty habit of underpaying folks who produce and then underpaying folks who don't produce but underpaying them at a higher rate than the folks let go because they were too cheap to, uh, well, you know what I mean...

@#$%

Speaking of mindless bureaucracies, have you flown lately?

I packed over 100 pounds of stuff into my golf bag while visiting my parents and presiding at a wedding for two of my sister's better friends who are now my friends.

A lady with an extra bag of less than 40 pounds had to pay an extra $25.

Penny wise and pound foolish describes the airlines these days; which really makes me feel better because I thought churches and government had cornered that market.

Here's my favorite from this past trip.

My "Leatherman" - a multi-tool for folks like me who pretend to know what to do without a clue - was confiscated while another lady with knitting needles waltzed through security.

Repeat with me: m-i-n-d-l-e-s-s bureaucracies!

@#$%

But the trip was worth it.

Bride and groom are faithful and fun and know Who must be the Head of the house to live happily ever after.

And I checked off hole-in-one from my bucket list.

@#$%

I scored at Irem Country Club (A.W. Tillinghast, architect) in Dallas, Pennsylvania (6/19/08).

I was playing with my dad, Bob Franklin, and kinda with a course ranger (Dennis) who always seemed to be around and can be counted among the witnesses.

It was the par 3 17th (140 yards); and I used a Mizuno MP32 PW and Titleist Pro V1x.

I was really glad that I wasn't using one of those shovel cast clubs and a Dunlop Loco.

Anyway, I was reminded of His hand on our lives for several reasons: (1) I used the same ball which I used during the last round with my dad on 11/14/07 which proves I can be as syrupy sentimental as the gushiest of 'em; (2) My dad has had two career hole-in-ones and both came at that same 17th; (3) I have always said a hole-in-one would only be memorable for me if I were playing with my dad, one of my sons, or somebody else who really liked me; and (4) I was wearing shorts which my wife and sons gave me for Father's Day for the first time.

Cool.

Uh, I mean, praise the Lord!

@#$%

Getting back to what's missed when not around anymore, I'm feeling more and more and more nostalgic about my franchise.

It was so good back, uh, then.

Now it's just a dimming shadow of itself; and this year's GA (big meeting) proves the thanatos libido which has seized its very soul.

Even during my non-vacation, I can't avoid reading the bad news from the moderator's election to the far left paradenominational celebrations of ethics in contrast to our constitution which still upholds Biblical righteousness.

I won't catalogue what others can do much better; so I recommend going to www.presbyweb.com for a good look at all the bad stuff.

@#$%

How did it ever get to this?

Unconverted clergy produced unconvinced laity allowing unconverted clergy to insult the holiness of Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture and upheld by our constitution.

Specifically, the problems began at ordination for the majority of presbyters running the, uh, show.

Some have abandoned ordination promises; changing their minds since participating in the rite.

Some lied during the rite in the first place.

Some didn't understand the constitutional questions because they, uh, weren't very bright or had incompetent polity professors.

All of 'em lack the integrity to demit.

@#$%

So I'm thanking Him for golf and that hole-in-one; which, I guess, is like a legal drug to numb me to the harsh to horrific realities of church and society.

I'm thanking Him for our family of faith at First in Belvidere, Illinois; still loving Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture and upheld by our constitution.

I'm thanking Him for Blackhawk Presbytery which doesn't try to force out the presbyters and congregations who still love Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture and upheld by our constitution; which is so unlike the increasing numbers of hostile presbyteries whose allegiance to Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture and upheld by the constitution is as convincing as Paris Hilton's claim to be a role model for America's young women.

@#$%

Fore!

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Monday, June 16, 2008

June 16, 2008 Part II

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

I'm heading off for Pennsylvania to preside at a wedding and see my parents, sister, and whoever's around.

So you won't be bothered by another KD until after 6/22.

And if Jesus comes back before then...

@#$%

I'd like to see Jesus come back before 11/4.

I still can't believe one of those guys is actually gonna be President of the United States of America.

Come, Lord Jesus!

@#$%

You know it's bad when folks are betting futures on VP options.

@#$%

I doubt BHO will pick HRC; primarily because, uh, WJC comes with that package.

If he has any chance at all, he's gonna have to pick somebody who can relate to the racists as well as folks who still care about traditional values and national security.

The Governor of Pennsylvania or very white Senator from Indiana make sense; but considering all of this year's nonsense...

@#$%

JM should get on his knees and beg JL, CP, or CR to, uh, run with him.

But if he's gonna pick a cracker, the junior Senator from North Carolina is a great choice.

I remember him well; and two of my best friends know him very well.

@#$%

RB is a very, very, very good man.

Aside from being a man's man which is so imperative in this dangerous world rather than someone suffering from short man's disease and another who has absolutely no qualifications to be Commander-in-Chief - Dang, I don't even think he was a Boy Scout! - he comes from a home and parents, college, church, and community reeking of traditional values and commitment to the highest ethics and ideals of America.

Though nobody's perfect except those newsfolks and PCUSA bureaucrats who point out everybody's flaws but their own, RB is pret' near when it comes to, uh, election.

Come to think of it, maybe the grand old party will come to its senses before it's too late and pick someone like the youthful RB with such a good background and buddies as opposed to his youthful counterpart who's been kinda nominated already with an unknown background and, gulp, gasp, horrors, help-us-Jesus,...group of buddies who make Paris Hilton's posse look, uh, like, uh, your average decent Americans.

@#$%

I need a rest.

See you in a week or so.

But if our Lord is feeling especially gracious, He'll come back before, uh, then.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

June 16, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

I've just read a great love story: Nina Urich's The Hillsborough Chronicles; and you can get a copy from her husband at burich@fcuonline.com or borrow mine.

Bruce is among the PCUSA's remnant of pastor/theologians who remain faithfully rather than separating to be faithful as profiled in Jesus, prescribed in Holy Scripture, and upheld by our constitution; and we badger each other about our next books which probably won't cut into the sales of RW or JO.

My friend's introduction planted a seed which He watered on Father's Day (viz., a rhetorical refrain): "Nina played the organ in church on May 29, 2006, and was dead by June 13, 2006 of a massive fast-growing brain tumor in a hospice house where our son-in-law was the doctor...I have never asked God why He took her. He is in management. I am in sales and service. I have asked Him why He gave me this wonderful woman for 46 1/2 years and three children!"

@#$%

Whenever I read Bruce's tear-drenched affections and agonies, I remember two other comments and a fledgling relationship with a subscriber in New Jersey concomitant to the refrain echoed repeatedly on Father's Day during my homiletical offering.

First, the comments and relationship.

Then I'll get to the refrain.

@#$%

An old friend in Pennsylvania who has made just about as many mistakes (euphemism for sins) as I have over the years but shares my addiction for golf, which means we know how much we need Jesus, played several matches avec moi against my dad and sister.

Those three are so competitive!

Anyway, I'll never forget what he said when I was getting really ticked off during a very tight contest as my dad whistled and shook change in his pocket whenever I had an important putt to make: "Enjoy him while you've got him. I'd give anything to play another round with my dad. This is just part of the fun which you'll miss someday. I miss it. I miss him."

@#$%

The relationship in New Jersey can be very annoying.

He's a pastor who refuses to acknowledge humanity's total depravity and presses me over and over and over again to tilt my pastoral and prophetic balance from the pejorative to the positive.

He prefers more light than salt.

Or as he once said, "You know we've got enough people in church and society who live to bitch about everyone and everything. You can be better than that!"

Geez.

@#$%

Then there's my dad.

Just before teeing off not too long ago, he said, "Well, fellahs, let's enjoy this while we can!"

He added, "It's good to be on this side of the turf."

@#$%

The refrain: "Let's enjoy each other before it's too late and while we can!"

@#$%

I've presided at lots of memorial services in the last 32 years.

People who've bitched at each other more than enjoyed each other really have a hard time at funerals.

Go back to the refrain.

@#$%

I've gone to lots of meetings.

People who've bitched at each other more than enjoyed each other really have a hard time getting much done for Jesus.

Go back to the refrain.

@#$%

I've mediated lots of church disputes as a consultant as well as practitioner.

People who've bitched at each other more than enjoyed each other have run off people from their fellowships and set their churches back so many years.

Go back to the refrain.

@#$%

Some people don't like that B word; but not saying it will do nothing to change it.

Confession and repentance precede redemption.

It's like one of my favorite preachers likes to say, "The world is at war, our economy is in decline, bad weather is battering the homes and hopes of so many, people are hungry, there's a terrorist under every rock, we've got Manny, Moe, and Jack running for President, and everything and everyone is going to hell apart from Jesus; and you can't deal with your deodorant not keeping you dry all day long."

Go back to the refrain.

@#$%

My golf buddy is right.

So is that pain-in-my-butt pastor in New Jersey.

So is my dad.

So is my, uh, Father.

I'm going back to the refrain.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Saturday, June 14, 2008

June 14, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

I went to buy gas at $4.17 a gallon.

A fueling oasis had a deal: $3.99 a gallon with a car wash.

During the spot free rinse, it dawned on me that I'd been had again.

The wash was $9.00.

@#$%

While demographics against BHO are daunting, JM is doing everything possible to help Illinois' junior Senator win.

Of course, if you're like my rising 10th grader, you're not that interested in the most important election in our nation's history.

When I asked who his peers like for President, he said, "Dad, all we care about is what's for lunch and who's hot."

@#$%

For all of the right reasons and a glaring wrong one (see KDI), I've figured BHO can't win.

I've got three bets on it in a Christian kind of way (viz., lunches).

But if war, wallet, and guilt by association mean more than traditional values and national security, BHO will win.

So it looks like I'll owe more than 11Gs.

@#$%

Tomorrow is Father's Day.

While comparing it to the fanfare and fear of forgetting Mother's Day is like comparing the female broadcasters of CNN to their counterparts on Fox, I'm a dad and have a dad and I'm kinda into it.

You can read what I wrote to my dad in KDXXXIV.

@#$%

I wonder how many got the metaphors in the previous section.

If I didn't need the 11Gs from the auction which is up to $38, I'd give Sister Gertrude Morgan's Let's Make a Record to whoever gets 'em.

@#$%

Because two of my five sons won't remember it, I'll send a greeting to all of 'em; with some stuff which may make it into my neo-Augustinian confessions if my badgering friend in Florida has His way with me:

Dear Ben, David, James, Daniel, and Matthew,

Our Lord doesn't always work in the most predictable
ways.

Whenever I learn something from someone who doesn't
especially esteem Him, that comes to mind; though I warn
you to embrace counsel only if it conforms to Him as
revealed in Jesus and reported in Holy Scripture.

Stating that disclaimer, I've always directed parents,
especially ones who have issues with their children,
to Kahlil Gibran's conclusion about offspring: "You may
give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have
their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not
their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams."

That's my way of saying I've given the best to you -
Jesus - and it will be yours to decide His existential
place in your life; recognizing His eternal place with
or without your cooperation.

My prayers for you have always been in consonance
with 3 John 4 and my parenting, primarily because of
the financial hazards of my vocation, has been riveted
to Acts 3:6.

Getting back to Gibran, there comes a time for dads
(and moms) to say, "I am not responsible for what you
say and do from now on; but I will always be responsible
for how I respond to what you say and do until we're
in our perfect home in heaven."

I've always tried my best; acknowledging that effort
has fallen short on too many occasions. But it has never
been my intention for anything less than the best for
you.

Each of you has an irreplaceable place in my heart.
I love each one of you as much as any one of you;
and while my greatest prayer is for you to know Jesus
as personal Lord and Savior, which will guarantee
perfect days in paradise, I pray every day for any
wound bearing my responsibility to heal and
look forward to the next hug.

I remember your births as if they happened
just yesterday; and your heartbeats are always
in my hearing.

Yes, our Lord's ways haven't always been
predictable; and God knows I know you know
what I mean.

But I am certain of our Father's love which
never lets go of us and this father's love which
never lets go of you.

Always praying His best for you, I am your dad.

Blessings and Love!

@#$%

Gas prices have caused me to estimate the cost of every trip and gauge worth.

Hospital visits are always worth it.

Visiting family is always worth it.

You can't put a price on love.

Love is worth everything.

Jesus proved that.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

June 11, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

Have you ever felt so sure about something and then discover you're wrong?

While Jesus is clear, concise, compelling, commanding, and concluding, He's, uh, God.

That's why I'm praising Him for being Savior as well as Lord.

@#$%

Sure, I'm with the God-said-it-I-believe-it-that-settles-it remnant among mainliners.

Yet it's unforgivable - yes, unforgivable (go to your concordance) - to presume, "I know that's what Jesus and the Bible say, but I think..."

Talk about being too big for your...

@#$%

The flaw in hermeneutics is humanity.

The Word is pure and perfect in every way.

We're not; and I'm convinced too many of us confuse holy inspirations with, uh, unholy indigestions.

Knowing we tend to substitute me, myself, and I for the divine trio as attested in Holy Scripture when wills - His versus ours - aren't in consonance, I've learned, grudgingly, that I'm often wrong in my human application of divine revelation which has prompted me to say increasingly, "I may be wrong..."

@#$%

That's why I'm in a few very significant accountability groups.

I don't know it all, get lots wrong too often, and never dispute the vertical relationship.

And, again, that's why I'm praising Him for being Savior as well as Lord.

@#$%

Of course, if you're always right, you're, uh, nuts.

@#$%

I thought about that when JM, despite rebuttals and rationalizations and rejoinders and other euphemistic ways in the past 24 hours to say he didn't do what he did when he decided it wouldn't be politically expedient to meet with Billy but then decided he should change his mind because it could be but then explained that while acknowledging...

Geez.

Help us, Jesus!

BHO.

JM.

Is this really the best that we've got?

Is it really too late to consider someone else before actually, gulp, sigh, @#$%, I can't say it, ele...one of 'em?

@#$%

BHO is totally predictable.

He has the most left-wing voting record of anyone in the Senate.

He's just saying nothing eloquently right now to get dolts who clamor for change without a hint of the specifics to feel good about voting for someone whose voting record runs so far up against the mainstream that he makes HRC look like a drinking buddy near the coal mines.

@#$%

JM is as predictable as the manager of the White Sox.

He changes more than the climate in Illinois.

One of my favorite saints said she's voting for him because he's pro-life; and I replied, "That was yesterday..."

@#$%

So we can pick someone who's predictable but not particularly mainstream or unpredictable but kinda mainstream.

It almost makes one nostalgic for AG, JK, or even BC...in a worst case scenario kinda way.

@#$%

A professor in the South responded to KDXXXVII which had a lot of stuff about reconciling rules which are heeded if antagonists get their way: "The five steps of conflict in a church: (1) Something is wrong; (2) Someone is to blame; (3) The pastor is to blame; (4) The pastor must be removed; and (5) The pastor must be destroyed."

He went on, "I submit most people involved in conflict mediation, which rarely results in conflict resolution, have one primary concern: they don't want to be destroyed themselves; and if they can help the situation, fine, but it's really about what they want and how they feel and..."

Is he saying people are, uh, more selfish than selfless, uh, more about navel-gazing than discipleship?

@#$%

So we're gonna end up voting for someone who we think is kinda like us.

I may be wrong, but I'm not too sure about my bets on who wins on 11/4 (see preceding KDs).

I thought I figured it out.

I may have thought wrong.

@#$%

Thank You, Jesus, for being our Savior as well as Lord.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Monday, June 9, 2008

June 9, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

Though it's been around for a while (2003), I just bought a copy of Jon Courson's Application Commentary which, I'm sure, induces anal exegetes to apoplexy; yet it's not bad as an aid to the homiletical adventure of actually trying to remint then communicate timeless truths in a hermeneutical kinda way.

Revealing creativity generated by inspiration or indigestion, he dropped these lines to illustrate the dangers of genealogical obsession or reverting to the past to explain the present which inhibits an ameliorated future so often: "I once read an article that talked about a group of psychologists who were studying the victims of the Holocaust...They found that 40% of the survivors who had adjusted well and had gone on successfully in their lives versus the 60% who were still struggling shared one common denominator that set the world of psychology topsy-turvy. That is, the 40% who had adjusted well did not, when asleep, dream about their past experiences. Until this study, the traditional rap in psychology had been to follow this advice: If you want to get over your hurts, you need to dwell on, relive, and work out the past...[but]...those who were healing were those who had been able to say, 'That's a closed chapter in my life. That was then. This is now. I'm going on.'"

Paraphrasing a friend (TC), here's the short version: "You'll never get better if you keep blaming your problems on poor potty training."

That's a big part of why Jesus said, "You must be born again and from above."

@#$%

That helps me to understand why some folks never get better; and I'm going to keep that in mind when I'm contracted for my next church mediation.

I do a lot of that; and I've discovered, regardless of theology for conservatives or ideology for liberals or, uh, whatever for moderates or even socioeconomics, most churches can't move into the future because they're living in the past which generates all kinds of pejorative pathologies in the present.

I've been contracted to mediate disputes in rich, poor, middle class, white collar, blue collar, dirty collar, lipstick-stained collar, no collar, never-want-to-see-anything-happen-for-the-first-time, two-feet-planted-firmly-in-the-air, they're-experiencing-a-theophany-or-need-directions-to-the-restroom, and we're-in-church-leadership-because-Rotary-wouldn't-have-us churches; and I've discovered Jon Courson is totally on target in assessing why people and their churches/organizations/all-of-the-below are so dysfunctional.

@#$%

Yeah, Matthew 18 is a good place to start.

I've got a whole outline of brilliant mediating counsel in Fifteen Secrets; but, uh, folks are so busy reading and watching RW and JO that, well, uh, you know...

Ron Rand of Upbuilding Ministries - you can reach him via upbuilding@att.net and begin plans to have him come for some of the most exciting renewal weekends for your local parish - has a persuasive "Good Report Card" on resolving conflicts.

But, and it's a very big bold-faced but, have you ever noticed how people will follow reconciling rules as long as they get their way?

@#$%

Truth is some folks need exorcism more than psychospiritual care.

The only people who don't believe that preceding sentence are still in some tower with all of the windows covered by ivy.

Terrorism isn't only reserved for ragheads, islanders drinkin' too much mist, and all of those other my-way-or-the-highway characters undistinguishable by color, class, or culture.

They show up in the stands for youth athletic events, start fires in churches so they can help put 'em out, start fires wherever because they're just sick relational arsonists, and do whatever-whenever-to-whomever to justify themselves.

Or something like that.

@#$%

The only people who don't believe in original sin or the Calvinist's understanding of total depravity live in that tower mentioned in the previous section or smoke too much weed.

@#$%

Be that as it is until Jesus comes back, a dear friend who really loves Jesus and really tries to love like Jesus tried the mediation thing with some irregulars about five years ago; and she gave a copy of her counsel to them to me which I will use when the next church calls on me to fix what too many would prefer remain broken because they think it's healthy to remain sick.

With minimal editing, here's what she wrote:

I believe there are 7 steps to bridge our
relationship with Jesus and each other.

First, we need to get down on our knees
and really humble ourselves before Jesus.
We need to ask Jesus to forgive our sins
and purify us through the power of the
Holy Spirit.

Second, we need to learn how to
communicate better and more often.

Third, we need to learn how to confront
our problems honestly and with wisdom
and understanding of God's will - not our
own will. We need to allow our Lord to
be the Judge!

Fourth, we need to practice forgiveness
on a daily basis. Jesus told Peter to
feed not hurt His sheep.

Fifth, we must represent our church
with God's purpose and plan. God's will
not ours must control all situations. We
are accountable to God alone for our
actions.

Sixth, we need to try harder to love
one another; really meaning it when
we say, "I am sorry if I hurt you...Will
you forgive me?...I care about you..."
This needs to be done more often;
because actions speak louder than
words.

Seventh, we need to listen to our
pastor's sermons about love rather
than smiling in worship and then
scowling at each other once we're
out of the sanctuary.

Jesus is the answer to every
problem.

Now you know why we're in
trouble.

Whoa!

@#$%

Jesus smiled on that effort.

Saints rejoiced.

But it took an exorcist to take care of the rest of 'em.

@#$%

I had a grandmother who did not die well.

She never got over the past - tough childhood, bad marriages, and lots of other disappointments.

She killed herself by smoking even more after a doctor told her that she was smoking too much and it would kill her.

I loved her.

I miss her.

I wish she didn't kill herself.

I wish she would have taken the hand of Jesus and left the past and walked through the present and into the future with Him.

@#$%

I may be wrong, but I think Jesus feels about the church kinda like I continue to feel about my grandma.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Sunday, June 8, 2008

June 8, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

You've probably heard sex is the greatest temptation for a young man, money for an older man, and power for a mature man.

But as I'll probably be confessing in my sequel to Fifteen Secrets at the unrelenting urging of a friend in Florida, any of the three can pop up at any time without warning like a reflexion to distracting reflections; unless, of course, the apostle wasn't including you in Romans 3:23.

Of course, messianic hallucinations aren't novel to history or, uh, you, or, uh, me.

@#$%

The problem with sex, power, and money is they can be very distracting from the glory, laud, and honor due Him alone.

Check out the first few in the Decalogue.

And with Jesus spreading salt to sting us back to health and shining light to expose the darkness so we don't lose our way, it's tempting to look for another messiah who will minister to the least holy denominators.

@#$%

Speaking of messianic hopes, some folks were really upset when I talked about BHO's bad buddies: mobsters, domestic terrorists, pastor disasters, America haters, and relatives who don't like whites if they're black or blacks if they're white.

An especially deceived subscriber challenged, "Didn't Jesus associate with such folks?"

Whoa!

Talk about proof-texting!

@#$%

If you think RR and BC were Teflon Presidents, BHO is gonna make 'em look like sandpaper on a slip&slide.

@#$%

Parenthetically, as if this is rare for KDs, clergy subscribers were really boiling about the temperature in my study: "The air conditioning works everywhere in the church but my study. The heat worked everywhere in the church this winter but my study."

One gal, uh, clergywoman, wrote, "You can forget getting any of those Gs if your congregation isn't taking care of your working place's aesthetics and atmosphere. Besides, your readers like some of those around you seem to like to get everything for free."

What?

And to think some folks don't get these KDs.

One guy, uh, clergyman, asked rather rhetorically, "Can't you take a hint?"

And can't you read the third sentence of section three in KDXXXV?

@#$%

I've never comprehended the non-sexist titles like clergyperson.

Didn't He ascribe sexual identities like, uh, male and female?

Well, I do remember a sermon title on a church marquee in Provincetown, Massachusetts: "Hymns and Hers."

But, uh, that was Cape Cod.

@#$%

With saint OW as BHO's forerunner, it's hard not to ascribe messianic expectations to the very junior Senator from Illinois who has done nothing and says nothing but does it all so eloquently.

And it's hard not to draw some historical comparisons which cause me to reach for my bottle of Pepcids.

I think Dylan caught it in paraphrasing Jesus about that slow train coming: "But the enemy I see wears a cloak of decency."

@#$%

Nah.

It could never happen here.

Hmm.

VT.

NIU.

That couldn't happen here either.

Uh, maybe folks should pray, "If I should wake before I die rather than..."

@#$%

I've got some genes from the Teutonic forests.

I studied in Germany.

And I'll never forget a cleaning lady saying to me, "If he were here, we wouldn't be having these problems."

She was not talking about Jesus.

@#$%

Enough.

Back to the Teletubbies.

Where's that Colonel Jessup when we need him?

@#$%

To be fair and balanced as if that's a Christian's call (Hint: "Trust and obey for there's no other way..."), I'm not psyched at all about the guy running against our latest messiah.

Just the other day, I thought I heard a voice calling to him, "JM, come down and out of that tree."

Sorry.

You can add to the list in the first section of this KD pour moi.

It's a Romans 3:23 thing.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

June 7, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

I got back from teaching a D.Min. homiletics course at CEDS in NC around midnight last night.

I went to the church about five hours before presiding at a wedding to catch up and sift through the snail mail, post-its, and all of the other stuff which don't affect the rise or fall of the kingdom; and nothing worked.

So I prayed.

@#$%

Have you ever noticed how He picks you up when you're driven to your knees?

Read Matthew 5:3.

@#$%

The air conditioning works everywhere in the church but my study.

The heat worked everywhere in the church this winter but my study.

I'm starting to wonder if somebody's sending a hint to me - kinda like my growing paranoia about those hundreds of Viagra and ED ads which I get whenever I open Outlook Express.

@#$%

I like to drive; except through Chicago.

It took 14 hours to drive from NC to Belvidere; which includes the nearly 5 around the winded city.

Yeah, Chicago would be a great site for the Olympics; and I think BHO and JM are America's best choices for President.

@#$%

Speaking of BHO, are we really ready for a President whose good buddies include mobsters, domestic terrorists, pastor disasters, America haters, and relatives who don't like whites if they're black or blacks if they're white?

@#$%

Speaking of JM, I'm not sure if it's worse to have a President who's done nothing except say nothing eloquently or someone who's documentably double-minded.

@#$%

I like driving; because my soul is fed as I listen to the Bible on disks and sacred music which aligns my heart with His.

While it's gettin' cheaper to fly, it's a lot more stressful.

John Hawkins wrote, "My joy could not be contained when I heard one major airline was going to impose a $15 incompetence fee on all checked baggage...[But]...If my favorite carrier hits me with a charge to transport my golf bag...then misplaces it, do I get to bill them $25 for being awful at what they do? May I add $3.50 for the flight attendant who makes 10 bucks an hour, got three hours of sleep and boarded the airplane with nothing but a pocketbook and attitude? How about $1 for every minute I have to wait on a runway because some air-traffic controller is on the phone arguing with his wife?...The thing about the airlines is that they're all 29 over par, and they really don't care, because any operation that loses $60 billion an hour looks at things like courtesy and service as another bag of peanuts" (Golf World, 5/30/08).

@#$%

Getting back to CEDS, I thought I'd given up writing books because folks prefer the depth of RW or JO to me.

But I'm being nudged to write a basic introduction to homiletics on the, uh, unconventional side; which I know shocks you.

So if you're not going to send 11Gs to me - that's down from 12Gs because I need to pay off my Caliber more than buy that new Taylor Made driver - you can show some gratitude for our fraternity or whatever and send some thoughts, stories, concerns, dogmas, one-liners, indigestions, inspirations, and other obnoxious musings about the homiletical process concomitant to pulpiteers and pewsitters; and you can trust I'll keep your name in confidence even if quoting you if what you say might jeopardize your ordination as well as ability to, uh, pay off the Gs which you owe on your vehicle.

@#$%

And then a good friend in Florida said it's time to write an updated version of Confessions.

Speaking of being driven to my knees...

@#$%

Blessings and Love!