It's hard to hit a golf ball with mosquitoes flying up your nose.
Have you ever tried to sleep when there's just one mosquito in the bedroom?
As an old friend (RIP) warned many years ago, "Just one flea can make a big dog itch."
Speaking of pests, do you think JE is still BHO's first choice for VP?
You gotta love JE.
His wife is dying of cancer, he pontificates about the immorality of GWB and his buddies, and talks so condescendingly about the right's insensitivity to the poor while knocking up a blonde (?), getting $400 haircuts, and looking like the latest poster boy for hypocrisy.
You gotta wonder about BHO's ability to lead the USA if "friends" around him like former VP A-lister JE make Paris and Britney look like good candidates for a forthcoming issue of People featuring Americans with integrity.
JE's blonde babe says she won't submit their, uh, her baby to any of those tests to prove paternity even if that means they get to be guests on Maury.
Does that mean she's trying to protect JE?
Or does that mean she's been about as faithful to JE as JE has been to...?
A friend who I'll call Chuck because that's his name says I'm a "Titleist Snob."
That's because, uh, I like to play with Titleists; especially ProV1s or ProV1xs or any of the NXT models.
I like 'em because, uh, they're really good balls; and they must be good because they're so expensive.
That last line was just to aggravate as well as encourage cheap skates who say "motor oil is motor oil" to keep reading.
Actually, I only play with Titleists if someone gives 'em to me.
I'm about 40% Scot; like too many members of our family of faith who ain't forking over big enough for our expansion, renovation, and elevator.
Just because something costs a lot doesn't mean it's necessarily better.
I tell relatives who want to buy golf balls for me but are too cheap to buy Titleists that I really like Maxfli Noodles and Nike Juice(s) because they're, uh, almost, uh, I repeat, uh, almost as good as...
Besides, if there's anything we're learning from JE, it's that more expensive doesn't necessarily mean better.
Take a few seconds to digest the last sentence of the previous section.
It'll come to ya.
Getting back to pests, JE reminds me a lot of JJ.
Now there's a poster boy for hypocrisy.
He's made millions by threatening to label rich white folks as racists if they won't fork over to keep his face in lights.
Then he's caught with his pants down and a love child while counseling WJC to overcome the temptations to marital infidelities, caught using the N-word in reference to the guy who could actually become the object of his lust, and recorded musing about castrating a brother in a way that makes KKKers proud.
Speaking of hypocrisy, it's time to stop blaming the Arabs for gas prices.
I may be wrong yet I don't think so or I wouldn't say it but I think there's a really dark conspiracy involving Americans in government, business, and Wall Street who are playing footsies with Muslims who hate anyone who ain't Muslim to drive up prices to satiate their insatiable greed.
In other words, selfish Americans are sticking it to us!
Some guy out of KDKA TV in Pittsburgh called Dr. Knowledge cites one example of who's really behind this crisis: "The federal tax on gas is 18.4 cents a gallon...some states currently add as much as 46 cents a gallon to gas with their tax. The average state tax across the country is 28.6 cents a gallon."
Greedy Americans who really don't care what happens to us and hate-filled Muslims who want to destroy the West for not joining their religion and dedication to Israel's destruction remind me of the Churchill-Stalin tag team.
Short-term personal gains (avarice) without long-term universal considerations (benevolence) spell cultural collapse.
I think of churches which forget the Church is more about serving others than consuming for themselves.
When we baptize babies or, uh, dedicate 'em - That's just to mollify my Baptist subscribers! - we pledge to provide for their nurture by providing an example, education, and environment which will help 'em, uh, grow in the Lord.
In short, we build upon the best of the past for better tomorrows.
I thought about that while greeting a friend after surgery earlier today.
Incarnating the service above self which is supposed to distinguish Christians from, uh, others, she asked, "How's the campaign going for expansion and everything else?"
I almost cried.
She was coming out of surgery and expressing concern about the mission of the church to expand, renovate, and increase accessibility.
Every once in a while...
I said we're not doing too badly for starting a campaign in the summer; while noting the next few months will determine if we're gonna be a mission post, museum, or mausoleum.
She asked if I'll leave if we don't make it.
Here's what I said: "If we make it, I'll praise the Lord with you and thank people for their faithfulness to the vision entrusted to us. If we don't make it, I'll say we've made a big mistake that will translate as the end of Gospel ministry on the corner of Lincoln and Main in about 20 years or less. I'll say we blew it. I'll say we have not been faithful to our baptismal promises and His call to build upon the best of the past for better tomorrows. Then I'll preach on Sundays, visit the hospitals, help enable intimacy with Jesus during the week, and continue doing what I've always done."
She said I appeared pretty calm about it.
I said, "Well, you can lead a horse to water..."
I'd rather be the pastor of a mission post than a museum docent or mausoleum chaplain.
But I'd rather be playing in the Ryder Cup than the Clergy Cup too.
Mosquitoes and fleas are a pain; but we've survived 'em before and we'll survive 'em again.
Maybe it means I'm not the right pastor for this family of faith.
Maybe it means I'm a docent.
Maybe it means I'm a chaplain.
We'll, uh, see.
But I'm not worried about it.
All I can do is tell the truth as I see it, admit I'm wrong when I'm wrong, and let the, uh, chips fall...
Maybe I am a Calvinist after all.
One more thing.
Once I start Cave Canem (around 9/14), it will be clear that I'm finally seeing my logs more than their specks.
So when I talk about hypocrites like JE and JJ, I know I could just as well be talking about myself; for I've been a pest to Him and His a lot more than I'd care to consider.
Maybe you can't relate to these lines from The Shack; but I know I can and hope JE, JJ, and...: "You have judged the actions and even motivations of others, as if you somehow knew...You have judged history and relationships. You have even judged the value of a person's life...Judging requires that you think yourself superior to the one you judge."
Chuck - the one who says I'm a snob - wrote: "Meet RRK - Midwestern pastor with a heart that loves Jesus and His people. He has seen the storm coming for many years; but like Dorothy in Kansas, it crept up on him before he knew it. What was once a flock of lambs has turned into a wooly monster; and now he and his fellow shepherds find themselves in...The Twilight Zone."
I'm increasingly feeling like that in the PCUSA, America, youth sports, too many relationships, this KD, and, uh, uh, uh,...my own skin.
Regardless, I'm prayin' and laborin' to live by the counsel provided by the first female (or male) black elder in a congregation which I left too soon and miss so much though I'm where I'm supposed to be for better or worse, richer or poorer, mission post or museum/mausoleum: "You love 'em and let God judge 'em!"
I hope I'm not...
Blessings and Love!