Thursday, August 21, 2008

August 21, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)


I went to see an old friend in a nursing home on Monday.

She said, "You're gaining weight."

I recalled a conversation with the proverbial father of the Confessing Church Movement who said fat pastors are a bad witness.


I went to see her in the hospital this morning.

I pulled into the "Clergy Only" space, got out of the car which I don't really own and can't afford to buy, and was stopped by somebody who must be important who barked, "These two spaces are for clergy only."

When I said I am one, he said, "Well, you sure don't look like one."


Thank You, Jesus.


I think it was William Jennings Bryan who said, "I would have become a clergyman if so many of them didn't look like undertakers."


I'm fat, bald, gaining weight, and don't look like a clergyman.

That's one for four on the good side of life.


This is turning into a great month.

I can't wait until October.


After reading my last KD, a subscriber in not from West Virginia wrote, "Don't beat up on yourself so much. Too many people are more than glad to do it for you."


Misery likes...


It is interesting/infuriating/nauseating/puzzling how people have this idea that they can say whatever they'd like to say about others.

From my ghettoed point of view, I'm always i/i/n/p by people who think they are entitled to say whatever they'd like to say about their pastors; recalling the obnoxious truism: "If you'd like to know what it's like to be a pastor, put on a deerskin and go walking through the woods on the first day of hunting season."

None of my clergy buddies say things like, "Aside from never realizing blue is a natural hair color, your perfume could knock over a bull at 50 paces."


Pearl came to me about 25 years ago and said with a smile, "I hate your beard."

I shaved it off.

As she approached me after the mowing on the following Sunday, I expected affection and affirmation; but she smiled again and said, "Now about your moustache."


If one of my sons ever says he's going to follow my footsteps into ecclesiastical employment, I will write 'em out of my will.

Forget that.

There's nothing there either.


Staying on politics, I've heard BHO is gonna pick SN or JB for VP.

The former is a really decent man who is strong on national defense and social responsibility.

The latter is another guy with short man's disease who makes TK and Northeastern Pennsylvanians look non-partisan; not to mention that I'd flunk him because he's a serial plagiarist.


I am feeling better about my three bets in a Christian kinda way about who's gonna win on 11/4.

Go back to the inaugural KD (2/28/08).

As a matter of fact, if BHO wins, I will host free coffee and dessert for our particular family of faith on 11/5 at Wicked Brew; and then cash out, play a round at PB, buy a Harley or Honda imitation, ride to Maine for lobster, and announce Apocalypse Now.


Two quickies from congregants.

One guy wrote, "Perhaps those who feel you talk too much about the building campaign feel what I felt - guilt. So I started to tithe. I feel better now."

One gal wrote, "Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."


Please don't be upset by any of the preceding.

I'm just trying to introduce foreign behavior into our socioeconomic and ecclesiastical cultures: thinking.

Or at least being unafraid to ask questions about why so much and so many are going to hell.


But you can blow me off like most folks do during homiletical offerings or when I write a book.

After all, I'm fat, bald, gaining weight, and don't look like a clergyman.

Again, thank You, Jesus...for that last one...and the other stuff.


Blessings and Love!

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