Thursday, August 21, 2008

August 21, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

I went to see an old friend in a nursing home on Monday.

She said, "You're gaining weight."

I recalled a conversation with the proverbial father of the Confessing Church Movement who said fat pastors are a bad witness.

@#$%

I went to see her in the hospital this morning.

I pulled into the "Clergy Only" space, got out of the car which I don't really own and can't afford to buy, and was stopped by somebody who must be important who barked, "These two spaces are for clergy only."

When I said I am one, he said, "Well, you sure don't look like one."

@#$%

Thank You, Jesus.

@#$%

I think it was William Jennings Bryan who said, "I would have become a clergyman if so many of them didn't look like undertakers."

@#$%

I'm fat, bald, gaining weight, and don't look like a clergyman.

That's one for four on the good side of life.

Whoa.

This is turning into a great month.

I can't wait until October.

@#$%

After reading my last KD, a subscriber in not from West Virginia wrote, "Don't beat up on yourself so much. Too many people are more than glad to do it for you."

@#$%

Misery likes...

@#$%

It is interesting/infuriating/nauseating/puzzling how people have this idea that they can say whatever they'd like to say about others.

From my ghettoed point of view, I'm always i/i/n/p by people who think they are entitled to say whatever they'd like to say about their pastors; recalling the obnoxious truism: "If you'd like to know what it's like to be a pastor, put on a deerskin and go walking through the woods on the first day of hunting season."

None of my clergy buddies say things like, "Aside from never realizing blue is a natural hair color, your perfume could knock over a bull at 50 paces."

@#$%

Pearl came to me about 25 years ago and said with a smile, "I hate your beard."

I shaved it off.

As she approached me after the mowing on the following Sunday, I expected affection and affirmation; but she smiled again and said, "Now about your moustache."

@#$%

If one of my sons ever says he's going to follow my footsteps into ecclesiastical employment, I will write 'em out of my will.

Forget that.

There's nothing there either.

@#$%

Staying on politics, I've heard BHO is gonna pick SN or JB for VP.

The former is a really decent man who is strong on national defense and social responsibility.

The latter is another guy with short man's disease who makes TK and Northeastern Pennsylvanians look non-partisan; not to mention that I'd flunk him because he's a serial plagiarist.

@#$%

I am feeling better about my three bets in a Christian kinda way about who's gonna win on 11/4.

Go back to the inaugural KD (2/28/08).

As a matter of fact, if BHO wins, I will host free coffee and dessert for our particular family of faith on 11/5 at Wicked Brew; and then cash out, play a round at PB, buy a Harley or Honda imitation, ride to Maine for lobster, and announce Apocalypse Now.

@#$%

Two quickies from congregants.

One guy wrote, "Perhaps those who feel you talk too much about the building campaign feel what I felt - guilt. So I started to tithe. I feel better now."

One gal wrote, "Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

@#$%

Please don't be upset by any of the preceding.

I'm just trying to introduce foreign behavior into our socioeconomic and ecclesiastical cultures: thinking.

Or at least being unafraid to ask questions about why so much and so many are going to hell.

@#$%

But you can blow me off like most folks do during homiletical offerings or when I write a book.

After all, I'm fat, bald, gaining weight, and don't look like a clergyman.

Again, thank You, Jesus...for that last one...and the other stuff.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

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