Tuesday, September 16, 2008

September 16, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)


This will be the last edition of Kopp Disclosure.

My mom is right.

People don't want their pastors talking about politics, socioeconomics, and, gulp, the practical applications of Christianity as patterned by Jesus and prescribed in Holy Scripture.

My dad is right.

People want pastors who agree with the last person they've talked to, end clauses and sentences with prepositions, and talk as vacuously as some political candidates so nobody knows what she or he believes about anything because people would rather stay the same or get worse than stretch to get better and want their pastors to agree with 'em about everything to justify...

Kurt Vonnegut was right: "People don't come to church for preachments, of course, but to daydream about God."

That fictional colonel was right: "People can't handle the truth!"

Or, at least, people don't want to wrestle with uncomfortable questions.

People want their pastors to be good humor women/men who tickle their infidelities and tell 'em how great they are no matter...

So I've decided to say a few more things; and then go out of business.

I'm not going to write anymore or preach anymore or try to lead anymore with substance because I'm tired of being second-guessed, maligned, scapegoated, and used as the object of transference for pathetic pathologies.

I've decided to join the pack of pastors who say nothing but say it nicely, pile up some more pension credits, accommodate infidelities, and drift away without a ripple.

I will concentrate on telling stories about Jonathan Livingston Seagull; saving my energies for my visits to the hospital and people in crisis who need the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about Jesus and His limitless love for them and know they don't have enough time for the lies which they wanted their pastors to tell 'em previously.

I'm shutting up and shutting down.


If you missed the opening skit on SNL (9/13/08), it was priceless!

Tina Fey out-Palined SP; and Amy what's-her-name caricatured HRC in ways that only her political enemies will appreciate.

If you missed it, you can probably catch it via www.youtube.com.

By the way, my sources tell me that TF spent so much time working on SP because all of the polls untainted by ideological bias reveal SP is gonna be the next President, uh, I mean...


A very gentle Methodist pastor in New Jersey who is a tad left of moi yet can wrestle with uncomfortable questions - What's that iron on iron quote? - is so upset about the politics of personal destruction.

While we disagree on who should get the keys to the White House - he's for the guy who says nothing eloquently and I'm for the guy who says a lot of stuff that really ticks me off which means we're both gonna roll the dice - we agree on the devolution of discourse, discussion, debate, and the like.

People are becoming so black and white on everything from the lionization of their favorite Presidential aspirant to the demonization of GWB, uh, I mean the other candidate to the labeling of the Patriots coach as the antichrist - Hmm, maybe! - that you can't hold a decent conversation with folks these days without somebody walking away in a huff or with a tail between the legs.


Everybody seems to want to argue because they're so right and everybody else is so wrong.

I don't.

I take the parable of the sower seriously.

I figure if I'm right, I don't need to argue.

I figure if I'm wrong, I look like a dolt if I do.

I've also figured out that people who aren't sure if they're right turn up the volume and start name-calling to prove they're right even though they're really not that sure anymore.

Or something like that.


When I was a little boy, I used to pray, "Jesus, please don't let an atom bomb fall on my head before I pitch for the Yankees, get my driver's license, and have sex."

Now I pray, "Jesus, I'm so surprised we haven't blown each other up yet because folks want to kill each other if a neighbor's dog poops in their yard; so thanks for giving us more time in spite of our hatreds for each other."

Go to a youth sports event sometime.


Well, this has been a real positive end to Kopp Disclosure.

Of course, I was just kidding in the opening section.

Or, at least, I was kidding about this being the last one.

I look forward to the letters thanking me for shutting down and shutting up which ain't gonna happen; which will prove people only want to read and hear, uh, what they want to read and hear.




Blessings and Love!

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