A friend who is much more practical than yours truly cautioned, "You're right; but if you keep this up, you're going to be dead right."
I've always wanted to be like Jesus; except for, uh, you know, the crucifixion part.
I'm like my peers who prefer to reimagine discipleship: "Must Jesus bear the cross alone and all the world go free? Sure! Why not? Sounds great to me!"
Speaking of getting nailed for Biblically Christocentric stuff, you've gotta be nearly out of your mind to try to sneak out of a mainline franchise with your property and assets.
While you can read all about the horrors of separating to be faithful by going to www.presbyweb.com and its links, though you won't find my KDs because this genre doesn't seem to fit like my old columns did, just call up some of the pastors who have tried to bolt and ask 'em how they're feelin' these days.
Can you say Paxil?
Aside from the redirection of energies from pastoral ministries to litigation and endless ecclesiastical meetings which are worse than a Paris Hilton reality show, just call up some of the pastors who have actually kinda bolted even while their properties and assets are in litigious limbo-land.
When you leave one franchise for another, three minorities emerge vying to become the majority: (1) the folks who like the new franchise; (2) the folks who long for the way things never were or maybe were but are no more; and (3) the folks who start acting like you've become independent, non-denominational, and congregational: mobocratic!
The previous paragraph's reality emboldens the minority who hates the pastor to seek to gain a majority vote at any meeting of whatever board is pretending to run the show and...
Well, you get the picture.
It goes back to my friend who has always felt called to the fabulously-well-to-do, which is why he doesn't worry about plastic and Caliber debt, who warned, "Pastors stay at a church until the minority that hates 'em becomes the majority."
Pastors who want to separate to be faithful rather than remaining faithfully run a much greater risk of stirring up the folks who will end up nailing 'em.
Personally, I like JM and BHO; though I like BHO a lot more because he makes me think that he agrees with me on everything and JM has that annoying short man's disease.
I don't like JB because I'm a professor who doesn't like serial plagiarists; and as someone who tries to bring people together despite their differences, he is among the most biased and partisan political hacks polluting America today.
Uh, sorry, but I just don't like him; and he ain't no Keystone Stater even if he was born in Scranton! Dang, he's such a pandering political hack!
On the other hand, there's sweet SP...
Actually, she's not as hot as her adoring lemmings like me suggest nor as awful as her fanatical foes yell so hysterically.
Parenthetically, she is hot; if you know what I mean and one of my friends knows what I mean because he sent a picture to prove it.
Uh, sorry, but I just, uh, like her.
I've been trying to figure out why people who know nothing about her hate her so much.
I can understand people hating JM because he's got a record to dispute.
I can understand people hating BHO because he's got a record, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, never mind...
Anyway, two of my dearest friends sent something to me which finally clicked in helping me to discern why people who know nothing about her hate her so much.
Go to http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1766638341 for the answer.
Don't pay attention to 666 in the link because that's more about the other guy; but go to Matthew 5:10-12; 10:16ff. for some context.
Disputations in mind, my last KD (9/16/08) evoked 237 responses from coast to coast, Liberia, Israel, Kuwait, Ireland, Canada, and Guam.
Here are some of the more interesting to obnoxious ones:
"I was glad for the end of this KD; which said it would not
be the last one."
"You are one smart aleck _____!"
"Keep on keep on making us think."
"Thank you for the final paragraph. What would I do without my
moments of pondering, wrinkling my nose trying to decide, 'Is this
"I hate you for making me read your _____!"
"I'm surprised you're not getting paid for your _____
which is as bad as everybody else's."
"If you haven't figured it out, _____, you're not
going to be published by anyone related to mainline
denominations because you keep exposing the
nakedness of the empires."
"I'm so happy that you told me that it was a joke, and
I didn't have to challenge you to stop being so Presbyterian.
Presbyterians like to moan about everything while doing
"You scared me. Thought we were going to have to do
a suicide prevention intervention. I might not agree with
all that you say but I do like the way you say it."
"So the mental letter expressing thanks for your plain
spoken-ness (and occasional lack of it) as I read the
first part of your KD was deleted by the end. Carry on!"
"I nominate you for moderator!"
"You are a piece of _____!"
"I remember Willie Mays coming up to bat in a game against
the Dodgers. As he always did, he dug in. The catcher said,
'You do know that Drysdale is pitching?' Willie dug in anyway.
The first pitch nearly took his head off...A few years later, Willie
stepped in against another Hall of Famer, Tom Seaver. As usual,
he dug in. Seaver fires the first pitch and Willie goes down.
I guess some people never learn. Don't dig in against hard
throwers. Willie got up and hit the next one 450 feet. Seaver
never threw at him again...Willie never gave up and never gave in.
Did I mention he is in the Hall of Fame with a bunch of other
guys who never gave up and never gave in? I look forward to
the next KD."
"In the immortal words of Leslie Neilson in Airplane, 'Just
remember, we're all counting on you!' Hit 'em long, and
hit 'em straight!"
"Shut up and shut down? I don't think so! So unlike
you! Keep spreading the salt. Maybe we'll be stung
enough to do something for God's sake."
"You cannot stop! You care! You're not afraid of
"I enjoy your political stuff; although I don't necessarily
agree. It gives my mind a badly needed workout. You
are letting the vocal minority get to you again. The hell
with them. Nobody is forcing them to read."
"Do you ever see Hagar? He yells charge and
people watch as he gets slaughtered. You remind
me of him. Keep charging! But don't be surprised
if your gutless colleagues just sit back and watch
you get slaughtered."
No wonder I can become so double-minded every now and then; which helps me to understand my mainline peers better.
Blessings and Love!