Monday, October 20, 2008

October 20, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)


So who's givin' the Inaugural Prayer on January 20, 2009?

The smart money is on Jeremiah Wright with Louis Farrakhan and The Reverend Jesse Jackson as long shots.

PCUSAers are so arrogant about their place in American culture that they think Bruce Reyes-Chow, Janet Edwards, Cliff Kirkpatrick, Janie Spahr, Parker Williamson, and the OGD are being considered.

Truth is 77% of my subscribers and 99% of Americans don't recognize the names in the preceding sentence; and 76% of my subscribers and 98% of Americans aren't even sure if the PCUSA still exists.


Speaking of folks on the verge of disappearing from sociopolitical influence, Colin Powell just endorsed BHO; which means the GOP has found its alter ego to the Democrats' Joe Lieberman.

CP swears race has nothing to do with his endorsement.

Yeah, right.


I'm praying whoever wins - and it sure looks like LF, JJ, or JW will be prayin' on 1/20/09 - wins really, really, really big.

Racism is a continuing cancer in this country; and the black/white racists in the shadows are looking for an excuse to...

While I've got a scarcely concealed preference for the next President - the only really hot candidate around which even Alec Baldwin confirmed on SNL (10/18/08) - I don't want black/white racists to have any excuse for spewing their hellborn hatreds; and they'll spew if they think they got screwed like the Democrats think they got screwed in the last two elections.


Speaking of the only debate left in Election 2008 as BHO marches on to victory his goose-stepping disciples, is Tina Fey impersonating SP as hot as SP impersonating herself?

Appearing side by side for the first time on SNL (10/18/08), you get to decide and report back to KD on this vital debate; so go to for the opening sketch and Weekend Update, make your decision, and cast your comments/votes.

I'm with AB on this one!


From a subscriber in the Dutch Country of Pennsylvania: "My wife and I went to a rally with SP at the Barnstormer's Clipper Magazine Stadium in Lancaster...SP came down the ramp holding baby Trig and wearing a skirt (No pants suit!) and high-heeled black boots. She did so well relating to the audience and spent time with folks after her speech. Don't tell anybody but, yes, she's hot! Wink! Wink!"


As Pastor Appreciation Month draws to a close, which I guess means that folks can start treating their pastors as crappy as they do the rest of the year, I am reminded of my counsel to entry level pastors as well as older pastors who missed the seminary course on original sin: "Don't overestimate your place in the church's life; for if you die after preaching on Sunday, they'll have ham and cole slaw for you in the basement on Wednesday and then elect the next pastor search committee on the following Sunday with whispers expressing hopes of finding someone better than you were."

Anyway, here's a report from a recently departed colleague corroborating my cynicism: "I finished today...I went to the church website tonight and was not surprised to see that all remnants and references to me had already been removed...Worship went well...I must confess that after so many years of service, I expected more...Most telling of all is that after everyone left on my last day, I had to turn off the lights and lock up the building."

Methinks that last sentence about turning off lights and locking doors will be a metaphor for that particular congregation's immediate future.


I'm treated well; though nobody has offered to...

Still, I'm treated well.

But I didn't miss the course on original sin, watched Mass Appeal which should be required viewing for anyone who is self-destructive enough to consider professional ministry, and I know how the people who are so nice to me now talk about my predecessors which means my successors will feel great at my expense until they become predecessors.

I stopped smoking weed after seminary's first Greek class and haven't been drunk since New Year's Eve during my freshman year of college; so I'm pretty sober by sight and experience about His caution: "If anyone would come after Me,...They will..."

He wasn't into religiosociopolitical satire.

He was too busy saving us from it.

I'm not so divine.


One of my more resistant-to-the-inevitable-outcome-of-Election-2008 subscribers who doesn't share the passion of so many of my other subscribers who keep trying to proselytize me to the side of the chosen one is still trying to figure out a way for SP, I mean JM, to win: "My brother was a poly-sci major and has always been a wannabe politician. We called him Alex P. Keaton when he was in high school; and he even had the requisite photo of Richard Nixon on his bedroom wall...He says the states to watch early on are Florida, Virginia, and some other state out East. If any of those go to BHO, it looks bleak. I asked, 'What about Ohio?' He said, 'If JM loses Ohio, he must win Pennsylvania or Michigan...'"

Friend, it's over.

Do you remember when JC ran against RR?

I bought lots of goodies in preparation for a long night of election returns to determine who was gonna win.

It was over before I took off the Jiffy-Pop's top.

Get used to it: President BHO and Vice President JB who won't be from Scranton after 11/4.


If the chosen one is really a bridge-builder, he'll invite Franklin Graham to pray on 1/20.

Don't bet on it.


Blessings and Love!

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