Thursday, October 23, 2008

October 23, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)


Several subscribers received multiple copies of the last edition of KD.

My boss aka our family of faith's administrative assistant said she hadn't received it; so I sent it again, uh, and, uh, again, and, uh,...

Then it hit me!

She deleted it before reading it!

It's how mainline denominations treat the Bible.


I always tell my preaching students that if it ain't worth preachin' twice, it ain't worth preachin' once; and if it's worth preachin' once, it's worth preachin' twice.

On the other hand, behaviors betray a lot of folks are deletin' preachin' these days.

What the world needs now is love, sweet love, it's the only thing...

On the other hand, as BHO will tell ya after sitting in JW's pews for over two decades, nobody's listening anyway; or at least our next President spent all of those years in mental deletion of homiletical Bizzaro World which makes me wonder why JW keeps saying he was BHO's mentor when BHO says he wasn't payin' any attention to him.


On the other hand - a reimagined trinitarian concept - a subscriber cautioned against flattering myself: "O.K., getting one is sufficient! Do you really think this particular KD is that much better than the others? I don't think so."


He - a Baptist preacher who has a motorcycle which does cause me to violate the last one of the Decalogue - continued, "By the way, now that I've got your attention, I haven't given up on JM/SP getting the votes to win. Did you not read the latest AP poll? It's a virtual tie."

He - a dunker who I really like even though he insults me and has a motorcycle which I may get as soon as I win the lottery which may be problematic in that I never buy a ticket but keep hoping someone read the last lines of the last KD inviting disciples of the chosen one to spread/share their wealth with me while begging the grumpy one's fatter crackers to offer a loan at an interest rate lower than the chosen one's tax plan - concluded, "I am also concerned about the jackasses getting complete control of the House and Senate. That will cause more problems. Just my two cents worth."

Two cents worth.

Guess I shouldn't be expecting a contribution from him.


I've noted how the chosen one's disciples and the grumpy one's fatter crackers are too myopic/mesmerized to consider Romans 3:23 when it comes to their idols.

It's kinda like pastors who follow pastors and discover their predecessors are idolized or demonized; meaning they know what's to become of their reputations when they become the predecessors to their successors.

Be that as it is, I've finally heard from someone who is voting for the chosen one who admits he's not the latest product of a virgin birth or something like that: "Personally, I agree with what you say about both. Since I didn't vote for either, I feel it's easy to mention the negatives of both. I do think there is more negative about JM but BHO has so many blowhards around him that it makes it hard to pull for him."


An important aside pour moi: this subscriber is an elder in our family of faith.

There's hope.


Not to get too optimistic and shatter the stereotypes of subscribers who can't handle religiosociopolitco satire laced with iconoclastic deference to the Decalogue - maybe that last clause is why some folks can't figure it/me out - I held a little poll during our 3rd service last Sunday.

I asked, "How many Bears fans are here?"

Half the congregation raised their hands.

I asked, "How many Packers fans are here?"

Half the congregation raised their hands.

I said, "No wonder we can't get anything done around here."


I'm a Yankees, Giants, and Jets fan.

Think about it.

Now read the last sentence of the previous section.


Think about it.


Jane Porter's "A Newscast From A Future We Must Never See" is must-see political satire.

Go to, type Jane Porter (italics optional) into the search engine, and laugh your jackass (metaphor) off.

While you're at it, go to for funny daily headlines; which are highly complementary to The Daily Show and The Colbert Report (my personal favorite).


If you're one of those humorless sycophants for the chosen one or grumpy one, stick to CNN, Fox, and the Presbyterian anchor chick on CBS.


A sobering note from Florida: "I think I am going to buy your non-best-selling book Fifteen Secrets for Life and Ministry. It sounds intriguing. The last time I tried to find your books on, I couldn't find them. How many are on the site?"

All of 'em.

Look under books that never sold enough to pay off a Caliber, plastic, and motorcycle dream.


Encouragement from Louisiana: "You're not alone! I've still got to pay off my old pick-up truck with holes in the bed; and I may have to sell it to pay it off if BHO is elected and raises my taxes. I can only hope for another "stimulus check" like the last one; which we used to pay taxes. I feel so stimulated."

"Oh, well," he signed off, "it could be worse and probably will be before it gets much better. Keep up the cheer! You really boost my spirit with all of your enthusiastic optimism. I was getting all down thinking about original sin. I'm feeling much better now!"

It's a virus.



From Tampa Bay which actually thinks anyone cares that they're in the World Series: "I realize your KDs are written with tongue firmly implanted in cheek."

Obviously, that's not a secret anymore; because no one has taken my begging seriously.



Speaking of $, did you hear how much $ SP paid for her VP wardrobe?


Democrats saying Republicans are fatter crackers are as hypocritical as Republicans saying Democrats have the moral spine of slugs.

Of course, there's some truth to most humor.


Speaking of jokes, I've got an analogy for Election 2008.

The Apocalypse of Saint John.

It's really good news for good guys and really bad news for bad guys.



Finally, for today, an exchange with a fighting woman in Iraq as contrasted to all of those fighting women in local congregations.

She wrote, "Your KDs are forwarded to me from my pastor in New Jersey. He's as off the wall for Jesus as you seem to be. Even my non-believing friends like reading what you have to say. I was wondering if you're thinking about doing a weekly radio show or getting your KDs published by some newspapers."

I wrote back, "Thanks, friend! I pray every day for you and all of our brave women and men who are at risk for the highest values of civilization. Yes, I have thought about it; but no invitations. If you know anybody who may be interested, let me know and I'll put 'em in contact with my agent."

It's a good thing that my agent's husband is employed.

It's a bad thing that I'm still waiting for...


Just joking in a seriously satirical kind of iconoclastic Decalogian Christian way.


Blessings and Love!

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