Thursday, October 30, 2008

October 30, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)


I have zero tolerance for racists - black, white, brown, yellow, red, or even green (only e.e. cummings fans will get the last color) - and anyone who has spent more than an hour with me as a partner, parent, pastor, professor, police chaplain, or president of a youth football league knows that.

You can check out the etiology in my non-best-selling-which-is-why-the-Caliber-still-ain't-mine-and-there-ain't-no-chrome-pony-in-the-garage Fifteen Secrets for Life and Ministry which you can order via which means I won't get a penny or order it via my agent whose e-mail address is confidential unless you're going to buy it or float a loan at an interest rate commensurate with sanity.

Moretheless, I served in a predominantly black church in Toledo, Ohio for a while; and while playing golf with two black buddies - a judge and Pepsi distributor - I whined, "I just don't get it. She hates me because I'm white. What's up with that?"

Simultaneously, after a short it-takes-one-to-know-one dramatic pause and stare, they said, "She's just ignorant!"


Speaking of 11/4's predictable outcome, I'm gettin' a little tired of PBHO's disciples saying people who vote against him are stupid, bad, and racist.

I'm gettin' tired of Keith Ubermacht, Jack Overcaffeinated, Stephanie Mudslinger (though she's hotter than SP), Campbell Innocuous-When-It-Comes-to-Ratings, and Oprah the Baptist (Matthew 3:3) heralding the chosen one and saying a vote for one of Snow White's seven dwarfs (viz., Grumpy) betrays the need for shock treatment, anger management, or mega-doses of St. John's Wort.

Yeah, I know PBHO is the chosen one and JM is the latest in the long line of great white hopes; but, just for the sake of disclosure, can't we just all get along and admit nobody's that perfect except the incarnate one?


I forgot they think he is that, uh, one.

Hands off!

Heads off!

Pass the Kool-Aid!


Speaking of lies, the OGD, who knows a lot more about a lot of things besides TULIP which will come as a shock to the theologically confused, identified the three great lies of our time: (1) "Of course, I'll respect you in the morning!"; (2) "The check is in the mail!"; and (3) "I'm from the Federal Government, and I'm here to help you."

PBHO is not as bad as his antagonists are advertising nor as pure and perfect and godly as his sycophants shout.

JM, uh, uh, uh,...

Is JM still running?


I've had three bets for almost ten months that JM beats the chosen one; and for the eschatologically bent, bad guys beat a lot of good guys during the tribulation.

You can interpret that last sentence from almost any weltanschauung and feel good about yourself.

Be that as it is or may be, one of the few bravehearts left in my franchise wrote, "I've got two words for you: Dewey Wins!"

Now I'm up to four bets: "Let's make this interesting. If BHO wins, I will cook dinner at my house for you and your lovely wife the likes of which you've never experienced before. If JM wins, your wife cooks. That sounds sexist. I shouldn't assume you're not a gourmet cook."

Election 2008 proves we should assume nothing because it makes an...


Speaking of assumptions, SP's sycophants - She is hot; though not as hot as Stephanie Mudslinger! - assume Mrs. Super-Christian is the paradigm of faith and morality.

Well, uh, I've checked the records of charitable giving for the final four via and; and the, uh, disclosure is head-turning.

According to all released tax returns, the following percentages of income given to charity: JM (23.1%); SP (2.4%); PBHO (2.2%); and JB who is not from Scranton, Pennsylvania (0.2%).

I guess PBHO is serious about spreading "their" wealth around; because he sure ain't spreading his around.

Neither is the hot but not as hot as SM SP.

And in a blast from the past, Philanthropy Today reports: "Public attention to charitable gifts has led to unpleasant moments for many prominent political figures. Al Gore was mocked in 1998 when he was VP for having reported charitable deductions of only $353 on his tax form, while then-President Bill Clinton drew criticism for claiming deductions on donated underwear and socks."


Staying on facts at the expense of feelings, check out this week's edition of Army Times which polls military preferences for Election 2008.

Summarily, it's gonna be tough for PBHO to, uh, command the respect of our armed forces; and that's even after CP was converted to the chosen one.

He may have converted enough folks to make it to 1/20/09, but he sure ain't convinced our women and men in uniform.

Of course, they're stupid, bad, and racist; or deceived by stuff like


This just in from a deeply embedded source in the DNC!

Presumptive PBHO cannot decide whether it's gonna be LF, FF, JJ, or JW for the inaugural prayer; though they're designing an interlinear Bible/Koran for the swearing in.


And in a related story, 50 Cent and Madonna are working out the kinks in amending Hail to the Chief: "...every knee shall bow, every tongue confess, that PBHO is..."


Staying on racism, former NBA star Charles Barkley told Campbell Innocuous-When-It-Comes-to-Ratings, "The only way they [JM/SP] can win this election is make it about race. That's the only way they can win it."

I agree; and so does Murtha the redneck-baiting Pennsylvania Congressman.

After all, Election 2008 is more about feelings than facts.

So if PBHO does lose, which seems highly unlikely to everyone who really knows like the disciples listed in the second section of this KD, it's because America is still dominated/damned by the stupid, bad, and racist.


Speaking of stupid and bad and maybe racist, BBC is reporting Led Zeppelin may reunite for a tour without Robert Plant.

Say what?

That's like mainline churches forgetting Jesus is still Lord and the Bible is still a Christian's authority on all matters of faith and morality.



Speaking of omissions, why won't The Los Angeles Times release that videotape of PBHO attending a 2003 party for Palestinian-American Khalidi who hates Israel?

Why does PBHO keep so much from us?

Why can't I look at his birth certificate, schooling records (viz., high school, college, and law school), relationships, and...?

Ah, there's probably nothing there.

People who are hiding stuff usually have nothing to hide; kinda like those guys in Beemers who use public telephones at gas stations rather than their traceable cellulars.

"Nothing to see here!"


From a friend: "If Huizenga and other wealthy people took care of the poor like they are called to, the government wouldn't have to and his taxes would be less."


Of course, if our family of faith had just quarter-tithers, we wouldn't have to beg for $ to expand to be a safe haven for folks who are increasingly brutalized by our culture.

He asked, "I'm curious as to what you will write about after 11/4?"

Good question.

Easy answer.

With so many idolatries in our ecclesiastical and uncivil culture - folks are just bent to idolize their professors, pastors, politicians, and pop icons before they demonize 'em - I think there's gonna be enough material to eventually make it to...

It's like the late Dick Lane who worked pour moi in Kansas City used to say, "With so much sin around, you'll always have a job."


Speaking of sin, I'm still dealing with my own.

I know I'm wrong about lots of stuff; as my subscribers and parishioners are so quick to point out.

There's always a lot to think about if, uh, you're still into thinking; unless, of course, you just want to stay stupid, bad, and racist.


Blessings and Love!

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