Thursday, October 9, 2008

October 9, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)


After Tuesday's hee-haw aka Presidential deeeebaaaate turned into a bigger bust than one of the host city's, uh, larger celebrities, it appears SP cannot win with JM on the ticket.

Though he sounds more and more like South Park's Cartman, JM may be even more boring than WM.

With or without lipstick, BHO is the prettiest candidate since JC.


Speaking of lipstick, Oprah has got to be acknowledged as America's most persuasive and powerful political messiah-maker.

After she heralded, uh, the coming of the chosen one, HRC lost momentum and what was self-righteously hers quicker than Presbyterians lost their place in American religious culture.

And now - trumpets of the Apocalypse blaring in the background - she's gonna take over cable's Discovery/Health Channel and rename it the Oprah Winfrey Network to begin 24/7 new age programming; or at least that's what some guy named Bill Keller at is saying.

Ah, it makes sense.

She picked, uh, I mean identified his coming and now she's settin' up the host.

She has such a burden for all of us; and ushering in his reign has taken a big weight off her (?).


Maybe it's time to pull out some eschatological literature.


Finally, JM stated the obvious: "My opponent's touchiness every time he is questioned about his record should make us very concerned. For a guy who's already authored two memoirs, he's not exactly an open book."

When WJC said he didn't inhale, every child of the 60s knew he was, uh, blowin' smoke.

What is BHO hiding?

Why can't we get any information about his high school, college, and law school records?

His amnesia about that stretch of formative education and attitudes makes RN's 18 minutes of erased tape look, uh, pretty - there's that word again - tame.

That's what KDs are all about: John 3:19-21.


By the way, I inhaled; and I liked it.

I gave it up because I sobered up and discovered Jefferson Airplane wasn't really a pastor advisory panel for Jesus.

I never did acid.

No need to do acid if you're in a mainline denomination.


Getting back to the chosen one, there's a lot of hyperbolic hysteria about SH; but he has produced a video which warrants attention if we're gonna embrace Oprah's baby.

Was it a virgin birth?

Stay tuned for, uh, the etiological revelations in January on the Oprah Winfrey Network!



Anyway, whether you're a fan or foe, take a look at Barack Obama & Friends Sean Hannity Special:


While I'm thinking my bets on BHO losing are in jeopardy, a note from an increasingly renowned expositor: "Hold on, RRK! This thing is not over yet, despite all the news media says."

Yeah, the polls are as rigged as back in the GM versus RN days.

How can you trust polls when Pitt beats #5 South Florida at their house and still runs behind them in the AP and USA Today polls?


Do you think the elite media favors Oprah's chosen one?

Here's an interesting, uh, revelation from a media source in Pennsylvania: "Just for the record. I work for the ___ affiliate in ___. ___ is in the tank for BHO. For example, when a ___ reporter recently announced that SP was chosen to be JM's running mate, the ___ reporter chose a backdrop shot of her that included perhaps a dozen anti-JM protesters...There was not a similar shot when JB was announced...I made a complaint to ___ who in turn followed up with the ___ board...For what it's worth!"

Another, uh, revelation from a media source in Florida: "I don't think BHO is a decent guy because I spent too much time covering ACORN as a young reporter in Cleveland and know BHO is a left wing socialist who hangs out with guys like Bill Ayers who bombs the Pentagon. So I think BHO will put bozos like Dennis Kucinich who was the ACORN organizer in Cleveland before weaseling his way into being Mayor of Cleveland and putting the city into financial default. He'll probably end up as Secretary of HUD."


Speaking of BHO's Cabinet, my government sources say to watch for Colin Powell, Dennis Kucinich, Bill Bradley, Jesse Jackson, Jr., and Bill Richardson.

A guy with a lot of ecclesiastical/civil politics experience wrote, "You can kiss off the Clintonites. BHO hates them. My guess is the very extreme liberal wing will get its people in at the expense of the middle. About all I can say is Ann Coulter will not be the Secretary of State...Hopefully, no one on the Supreme Court will kick the bucket on the conservative side. The judicial system will be packed with liberals. It is going to take two decades to fix the damage that BHO will do."

O.K., here are my predictions with help from my sources in the know:

Secretary of State - Dennis Kucinich
Secretary of Defense - Lizzy Dorn
Homeland Security - Bill Ayers
Treasury - Tony Rezko
HUD - Michael Pfleger
Transportation - Madonna (She gets around and has lots of mileage!)
Attorney General - Laurence Tribe
Interior - Wahid Hamid
Agriculture - The Reverend Jesse Jackson
Labor - Louis Farakhan
Health and Human Services - MO
Energy - Al Sharpton
Education - Jeremiah Wright
Commerce - Fareed Zakaria
Veteran's Affairs - WJC (He's the most veteran of White House affairs!)
Management and Budget - Tony Rezko's brother
Messiah Maker - Oprah Winfrey
UN Ambassador - Bono (He's already an honorary citizen!)
Press Secretary - Anyone working for NBC but probably Keith Olberwoman

Yeah, I know they're not all Cabinet positions; but things are gonna be a lot different when the chosen one gets his finger on the button(s).


Staying on politics, it's still October aka Pastor Appreciation Month.

A pastor in Utah wrote, "Next to PAM, clergy love those Christmas bonuses. I spent over $1250 hosting the elders, spouses, and staff (and spouses) for a Christmas dinner after ten years to express my thanks for their service. Guess what? I got a Christmas bonus that year: $25. Of course, I also pay for my own mailings, office supplies, technological upgrades, and never voucher the stuff; and, get this, no one ever thinks of reimbursing me."

A note from Rhode Island about PAM: "The person patting you on the back may only be determining where to stick the knife."


I played golf with my 90 year old buddy; and he fell out of a boat while fishing a week later. He told me about it with a smile.

A member of our staff just bought a motorcycle after two of my elders did the same.

I like golf.

I want a motorcycle.

I think I'll go fishing.

I don't like to go fishing; but maybe I'll fall out of the boat.


Blessings and Love!

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