Tuesday, November 25, 2008

November 25, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

I was an 8th grader in Forty Fort, Pennsylvania when a high school senior wrote in my yearbook, "May you live as long as you want to and want to as long as you live."

A really smart guy in Florida who has been battling the beast in his mainline franchise for a lot longer than anyone I know just wrote to me, "I want to prepare you to get old! I don't care how long I live, it's being able to be active that counts!"

A friend in our family of faith told me to click on http://yeli.us/Flash/Fire.html.

I'm always sensing connections.

@#$%

Speaking of connections, I like Thanksgiving.

Turkey, gravy, stuffing, scalloped and mashed potatoes, salads, yams, corn, breads, green and lima beans, jelloed dishes, drinks galore, pastries, pies, exotic teas from impoverished lands, decaf and regular coffees with hazelnut and mocha and too many flavors to decide, cakes, candies, cranberries, and...

Family.

The last one is best ingredient for a Happy Thanksgiving.

@#$%

I eat until I fall asleep.

I wake up wondering why so many must invite sleep because it's too hard to stay awake when there's so little to eat.

Conscience.

Christine B. Whelan, a visiting Professor of Sociology at the University of Iowa, for USA Today (11/24/08): "As families gather around buffet tables smothered with food on Thanksgiving, religious diet groups caution us God might not approve of that second piece of pie...Gluttony - one of the seven deadly sins dating to the 6th century - was associated with an obsession with food rather than God."

Dang professors!

I know they don't really believe much; but they're always provoking questions and, uh, conscience.

They may be an amoral lot; but they're always provoking our, uh, morality.

1 Corinthians 3:16-17 notwithstanding, there's a Scrooge trying to spoil every party.

Matthew 25 notwithstanding, there's always some bleeding heart trying to make me feel guilty because I'm feelin' too good.

Dang connections.

Dang, uh, conscience.

If this keeps up, I'll have to start doing something about it on, uh, uh, uh,...Friday.

@#$%

The Bible talks about partying in a Christian kinda way.

They ran out of wine at a wedding and Jesus made more really good stuff.

You know what dad did when the prodigal came back: party time!

I know that comes as a shock to teetotalers and other self-righteous party-poopers.

Yet He did say, "I came to give you joy to the max!"

Sounds like party time to me.

@#$%

O.K.

Balance.

If I'm goin' to party, Jesus says I've got to invite others to join in.

Go back to Matthew 25 again.

@#$%

It goes like this.

Have a really happy Thanksgiving.

Whoop it up!

And as long as you keep prayin' and workin' on increasin' attendance, He's right there with ya!

@#$%

Thanksgiving began as something of a harvest festival as early as 1565 in Saint Augustine, Florida - which now has the best fried shrimp place on the planet called Osteen's which is my connection without conscience - and was first celebrated by the Plymouth Colony in 1621; and while our first President George Washington was the, uh, first President to declare the holiday in 1789, it took Abraham Lincoln's "Thanksgiving Proclamation" of 10/3/1863 to seal the deal: "The year that is drawing toward its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come...the ever-watchful providence of Almighty God."

In yo' face, secularists!

Incidentally, FDR, who is being compared to PBHO or is that vice versa for one never knows now that Time compares PBHO to Jesus and sycophants say he's the, uh, second coming of Abe, uh, "changed" (that word) Thanksgiving from the last Thursday in November to the 3rd Thursday to lengthen the Christmas shopping season which was how it stayed until Congress moved it to 4th in 1941 where it has stayed ever since.

Geez.

You can't even eat a turkey without politics takin' a bite.

@#$%

Speaking of bites, 46 million turkeys, according to Sherrie Rosenblatt of the National Turkey Federation, will be, uh, wolfed down on Thursday.

Mitchell Cohen, a real bummer via www.counterpunch.org whose readers are so much more generous than mine (aka support/gratitude/pity) which causes some real esteem issues pour moi, whines, "The ritual slaughter of turkeys; the fact that each American's average Thanksgiving dinner is 2000 calories, and that we live in a country with 5% of the world's people consuming 27% of the world's natural resources, while making 50% of its garbage..."

Blah. Blah. Blah.

He must be another one of those dang Iowan professors who say they're for the underdog while living off the fat of the land and sippin' latte at Starbucks.

Balance!

There's enough food to go around!

Eat up!

And don't forget to share!

Is it that tough to figure out?

@#$%

There is one thing about Thanksgiving lore that baffles me.

How could the Pilgrims have discovered New England if people were already living there?

Sounds a little, uh, condescending to me.

Parenthetically, I think of Mahatma Gandhi. He was asked, "What do you think of Western Civilization?" Response: "I think it would be a good idea!"

It sounds like 1492; or as Kurt Vonnegut wrote in Breakfast of Champions: "The teachers told the children that this [1492] was when their continent was discovered by human beings. Actually, millions of human beings were already living full and imaginative lives on the continent in 1492. That was simply the year in which sea pirates began to cheat and rob and kill them."

I don't recall Macy's having a float for that one.

Conservatives always accuse liberals of revising history to suit their ideology; but I, uh, think it goes both ways.

@#$%

Speaking of quandaries, a pastor in Ohio asks, "I know PBHO won the election, but doesn't it look more like a victory for WJC and HRC when you look at who is being tapped for the next administration?"

Hmm.

Change?

Yes, it is a change from the last eight years to the eight years before that which is change if you consider...

What?

@#$%

JB predicted a big "crisis" for PBHO not long after swearing in on 1/20/09.

How about this?

The New York Times and Jerusalem Post are reporting, "Iran has now produced roughly enough nuclear material to make, with added purification, a single atom bomb, according to nuclear experts."

Assuming the ragheaded leadership of Iran has a better delivery system than camels, PBHO better get on the phone now; because Israel ain't waitin' for a sit-down-rap-dialogue on its future when their response time isn't as long as an 8th grade infatuation.

Read Golda Meir's oral autobiography. She said Israel will not hesitate to use the chocolate candies which they've got stored up in Dimona if it's a matter of national survival. Israel doesn't trust gentiles. And if you were Jewish, you'd understand why; but, quickly, a refresher: German liberal church's messianic hallucinations during Hitler's rise to power, Rome's accommodation of the Nazis, American and British pathetic patterns of soft and slow politics over hard and fast principles during WWII concomitant to the Holocaust...

Yeah, a crisis is coming.

Pray for Israel.

Pray PBHO gets it right in keeping with Biblical prophecy.

@#$%

The crisis won't be about PBHO's birth certificate; though Alan Keyes and others are pressing for "the truth" about where he was born.

Personally, I don't care where he was born; but the United States Constitution does require the President to be a "natural-born citizen."

But if mainline denominations don't have to pay attention to their constitutions when it comes to faith, morality, and standards of, uh, election to office/ordination, why should America care about such old-fashioned stuff like that?

Two cautions.

First, an indisputably clear majority of America and all of NBC/CNN want him to be our President; and to pull this stunt at this time will ignite incredible unrest and open rebellion.

Second, this will open the door for Arnold in 2012!

Psst.

This challenge to PBHO's name on the 2008 election ballot citing questions over his citizenship has been scheduled for a "conference" at the Unites States Supreme Court on December 5, 2008.

Supreme Court "conferences" are private meetings among the robed ones to review cases and decide which ones hit pay dirt or formal review.

I'm betting common sense prevails and the justices ignore the challenge.

Al Gore does not agree with me.

@#$%

Mail time!

From a really smart lawyer in California who doubles as a pastor: "I want to half-unsubscribe. Please use ___ instead of ___. I do appreciate KDs and read most all of them. I sometimes feel like I'm solving a New York Times crossword puzzle,...but enjoy them and I am encouraged by your prayerfulness and faithfulness."

Half-unsubscribe? I guess that counters those who say I'm half-___.

From a pastor near the NFL's Hall of Fame in Ohio which will be as far away from Favre's successor's destiny as I am from becoming moderator for any "higher" judicatory in my franchise: "I have never saved anyone...Not my job, man. My job is to preach Jesus and Him crucified. Introduce people to Jesus...I am content to let God do His job and not try to do it for Him."

Watch for a link to The Old Gray Dog when www.koppdiscourse.com hits cyberspace for further explanation! Until then, quoting an old friend, "You love 'em! Let God judge 'em!"

From a lawyer in Kansas whose daddy was a pastor: "Your 11/20/08 KD reminds me of a quote that I saw on the bust of Abe Lincoln at Case Western Reserve University Genealogy Library: 'Democracy is dependent upon the consent of the minority.' If Americans forget that, we will no longer live peaceably together in this country."

Absolutely! Just look at what's happening to the PCUSA and its sister mainliners! Assuming Jesus as Lord of all - which, I know, is a really, really, really big assumption for mainliners these days - majorities forgetting minorities will find out how that feels when the minorities end up being the majorities. For example, I've been telling worship committees for over three decades that they better pay attention to the musical tastes of the younger generation because the younger generation will become the older generation and treat them like they were treated. Let me put it another way. Style should never serve substance. Content is more important than form. Style and form enable ingestion of content/substance. But when style and form are more important than content/substance, everything unravels sooner or later and usually sooner than later. Again, just look at the mainliners!

@#$%

I got a card from a family at First in Belvidere which reminded me of important stuff:

Friends,

Your card has been posted in my study to remind me why I pastor, preach,
write KDs, press the "Blessings" building campaign, salt, shine/smile,
and all of the rest which annoy casual Christians so much (see Matthew
10, John 10):

Front: David defeated Goliath as a youth.
Mary followed God's plan as a young woman.
Billy Graham met Christ as a teenager.

Inside Left: 1 Corinthians 15:58 (The Message)

Inside Right: Thanks for all the future Davids,
Marys, and Billys that you are
influencing today.

While I know I fall short of this sentiment in a Romans
3:23 kinda way, it is my prayer and, uh,...[What's
that trendy word which has become more of a
cliché than pattern for enfleshed belief?]...purpose.

Blessings and Love!

@#$%

Kathie Goymerac, FreiwilligKoppmeisterbeidiegnadenwahl (aka Webmaster/Accountant), told me over coffee this morning with the Belvidere Brewers at Starbucks that www.koppdisclosure.com will be up and running on December 12, 2008.

That means you can show your support/gratitude/pity by becoming a sponsor (donations because you're nice) or advertiser (payables because you know it's gettin' around and KDers are loyal); seriously, we need your help to salt and shine in a sarcastically iconoclastic way in keeping with the first half of the Decalogue in hopes of keeping the second half or...

Something like that.

Sponsors can send donations to KD (221 N. Main Street, Belvidere, Illinois 61008) and advertisers can contact Kathie directly at mhtml:%7BC9B71D13-62FC-4537-9098-C3DA46784965%7Dmid://00001175/!x-usc:mailto:kathiejg7@gmail.com to negotiate a very good deal.

I was surfing late last night and found several really, really, really anti-Christian and anti-American and anti-humanitarian agapephobic sites which just held fundraisers. They don't want their subscribers to think in any kind of way other than pejorative, polemical, and punitive with those who disagree.

No, I'm not talking about websites for mainline denominations or Democrats or Republicans; which, uh, come close to the problems presented in the previous paragraph.

Seriously...

Moretheless, Happy Thanksgiving!!!

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

November 23, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

After a painful loss, I said to my dad, "We would've won if it hadn't rained so hard."

Response: "Well, son, it's a good thing that it didn't rain when they had the ball."

"But," I noted, "it did."

"Oh," he sniffled.

He's not big on excuses or rationalizations which, uh, are really lies.

@#$%

Rick Reilly for ESPN The Magazine (12/1/08): "There are things in the sports pages sometimes that make you want to ralph in your Special K...Marion Jones telling Oprah that the reason she lied...was that 'I didn't love myself enough'...Figure skater Johnny Weir, on his lousy performance in the 2006 Winter Olympics: 'I didn't feel my inner peace. I didn't feel my aura'...Pete Rose saying he gambled...because he had 'oppositional defiant disorder'...Long-distance runner Dieter Baumann, on why he tested positive for steroids in 1999: 'My toothpaste was spiked'...And the best ever, from Zambian tennis player Liighton Ndefwayl, after a 1992 loss: 'My jockstrap was too tight.'"

Casey Stengal, first manager of the hapless Mets at NYC's Polo Grounds, quoted catcher Choo Choo Coleman's excuse for dropping a foul ball during a night game: "The moon got in my eyes."

Grandpa Jacob and I heard that last one ourselves over the radio on Grove Street in Ridgewood (NYC).

Back to RR: "This is why I like Kerry Collins. Whether he plays like Fran Tarkenton or Fran Drescher, he never makes excuses. After he performed like a Xanaxed ferret in the 2001 Super Bowl,...he stood at the podium and said, 'I sucked today. I was prepared. I was ready. I just played terrible.'"

Collins played at Penn State before the Giants, Titans, and somebody else.

My dad lives in Pennsylvania.

Hmm.

@#$%

1 John 1:5-10.

@#$%

Victorious Ministry Through Christ, a powerful tool of deliverance from the past enabling redemption and encouraging total commitment to Jesus through confession and repentance, has taught a valuable lesson to me: "Dump your garbage before someone digs it up because people who dig it up won't be as graceful as God."

John 3:19-21.

1 John 1:5-10.

If you'd like to get in touch with VMTC, let me know and I'll connect you to its central office.

@#$%

With only a third of the season left, here are KD's power rankings and predictions/whatevers:

1. Giants (9-1) - Eli's Coming!...Again!
2. Jets (7-3) - Thank you, Green Bay!
3. Steelers (7-3) - Big Ben is the most overpaid in the NFL
but Troy/Hines are the real deals.
4. Patriots (6-4) - O.K., he cheats; but so does our
government which usually ends up on top too.
5. Colts (6-4) - Never count out big brother who should
make more than Big Ben.
6. Cardinals (7-3) - Best two receivers in the NFL
with a confessional QB!
7. Titans (10-0) - Overrated and not Young enough!
8. Panthers (8-2) - Who?
9. Buccaneers (7-3) - That Chucky!
10. Dolphins (6-4) - Watch out for the really Big Tuna!
11. Packers (5-5) - Please, please, please come back!
12. Cowboys (6-4) - TO is BO to morale and anybody dating...
13. Redskins (6-4) - Tough to figure like their neighbors in D.C.
14. Ravens (6-4) - Always deadly with that real killer at LB.
15. Falcons (6-4) - Michael who?
16. Broncos (6-4) - With thanks to that zebra!
17. Chargers (4-6) - Where is that zebra?
18. Eagles (5-4-1) - Rules? What rules?
19. Bills (5-5) - Jim Kelly disease...
20. Saints (5-5) - Bushwhacked.
21. Vikings (5-5) - Bud Grant disease...
22. Jaguars (4-6) - Who?
23. Browns (4-6) - Giant(s) killers aka SOBs (see below).
24. Bears (5-5) - It's time to draft a real QB.
25. Chiefs (1-9) - You play to win the... Ah, forget it!
26. Texans (3-7) - I didn't know Texas had pro teams. They don't.
27. 49ers (3-7) - Hey, Joe!
28. Seahawks (2-8) - Latte, please!
29. Rams (2-8) - We love LA!
30. Bengals (1-8-1) - Myron was right: Bungles.
31. Raiders (2-8) - Talk about someone who needs to retire...
32. Lions (0-10) - DOA.

If you think other KD musings have been controversial...

@#$%

Getting to the Brownies as promised, TE Kellen Winslow, who is better than his Hall of Fame dad by self-admission, was fined $235,294 for questioning the ownership's handling of his staph infection.

This is on the heels of Dolphins' eventual Hall of Fame LB Joey Porter being fined $20K for saying referees occasionally make bad calls.

This is a trend mirrored in our ecclesiastical culture.

Questions about and dissents from the party line are increasingly met by disdain, disqualification, and dark conspiracies to isolate and even exterminate.

Conscience is captive to who's in charge.

If you don't believe that, talk to Kellen, Joey, TO, Joe Lieberman, or anyone who isn't an ideological lemming.

And if you're a mainline clergywoman/man, "You better watch out, you better not pout, you better not..."

@#$%

Speaking of lies, members of the moronic media (check out the Greek in Matthew 7:26) are touting Camelot II and comparing MO to JFK's Mrs.

I know I'll get into trouble for saying this but PBHO shows a lot more loyalty to MO as a wife, mother, and First Lady than JFK ever afforded to Jackie.

MO comes across as a strong leader in her own right and not some matchmaker's trophy wife.

And since we're into comparisons, while I'm not into Time drawing parallels between PBHO and Jesus, I do think their cover of PBHO looking like FDR was kinda fun and MO may be more like FDR's Mrs. than JFK's.

@#$%

Mail Time!

From Rhode Island: "Thank you, thank you, thank you for KDs which I forward all over the place. I don't always agree with you but you always make me think. I can't wait until you start the website but I always want to get those first editions. I don't know how you stay a step ahead of the headline news, but you do. Do you sleep?"

You're very kind, friend. I sleep...on occasion.

From Illinois: "I just have to let you know the name of the show where "Hated It!" came from was actually called In Living Color which starred the Wayans brothers. I thought you would want to know because then the Cyndi Lauper reference doesn't work out. See, I do read them!"

Oops! O.K., how about this? Don't tell. Besides you're the only other cracker I know besides me who watched it.

From denomnationaljingoismville: "I'd rather not get KDs. I do not care for your style of writing; as much as I often agree with your conclusions. The manner in which you write does enormous disservice to the ideas that you wish to convey."

Does this mean you're not going to send in a donation this year? Geez. My guess is the really, really, really properly religious who have no problems divorcing reality from auto-suggestedly extra-Biblical theology/sociology/pathology/idolatry find KDs to be too offensively and obnoxiously (saltish) honest (lightish) for their unadmitted tastes for watching soaps and reading tabloids when no one is watching; while others who take His talk about wineskins and allegiances and affections apart from idolatries seriously can handle a little spice now and then. Truth is this guy has hated me for years because I'm not convinced God favors Presbyterians and the PCUSA more than everybody else and have this habit of exposing the empire's nakedness.

From town: "Here's another dad story. My dad came storming up to me at the end of the 1st quarter of a football game when I was playing for Belvidere Junior Tackle. I had just gone to the sideline with an injury. He asked in front of the team, 'Joe, does that hurt?' I answered, 'Yes.' He said, 'I did not feel a thing.' I finished the game and then went to the hospital with a broken arm. He used that line on me my entire life. I have used it on my son at least 200 times. The apple does not fall too far from the tree."

While some soccer moms would like to slap you and dad upside the head, the big point is important. Excuses - woulda, coulda, shoulda - don't win games and don't propel us to excellence in life and discipleship. We're all injured somehow by somebody sometime along the way. That's when we take His hand and walk! When Jesus saw a crippled man from birth, He didn't make excuses for him or Himself. He said, "Get up and walk!" Success begins with the first step. I hope folks get your point. I do. Of course, it's like Grandpa Jacob often urged me, "Don't miss the forest for the trees!" Let me put it another way. That guy who doesn't like the way I write hasn't read 1 Corinthians 12. Varieties, friend! One Lord. One Savior. Varieties of discipleship as long as they're consistent with Biblical revelation.

From a frightened pastor somewhere in the South: "How do you get away with what you write? My congregation would kill me."

Well, I still get lots of offers from other churches which helps with the bravery thing. Parenthetically, don't tell anyone but I love our family of faith and will die for 'em (actually, I am in so many ways already). Here's the key. People know I'm always available for them whenever, wherever, and whatever. Everybody knows I love 'em and don't judge 'em. Anybody who asks knows I give straight answers to direct questions. Anybody who has confronted me about anything knows I'll admit when I'm wrong; but they also know right and wrong are more a matter of Biblical revelation than their prejudices. If you spend more than a minute with me, you know I have only one Master. So, friend, "they" don't even bother. Maybe it's age. Maybe it's vocational security. Maybe it's the first half of the Decalogue which goes without saying and the second half which, uh, should go without saying. In short, they know I love 'em and will die for 'em because Jesus comes first. Or maybe you've just got a typically mainline congregation that is long on propriety and short on prophecy. Seriously, I will pray the breaking of your chains through a fresh, compelling, and boldly liberating regeneration in Jesus. Or I'll just recommend you to another church where you'll be appreciated. Try VMTC!

@#$%

It's hard for anyone to disagree with us if it's all about Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture and not about us.

If they do, it's His problem anyway.

Reimagine that!

Some people think what they think can be juxtaposed to divine revelation in Jesus and Holy Scripture as if life and eternity are one big introductory college freshman class on religion: "I know that's what Jesus and the Bible say, but I think..."

I'd rather excuse my humanity for His divinity than assume my humanity competes with His...

It's kinda like games with a clock.

When time runs out, so do excuses.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

November 20, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

After a late afternoon of raking leaves - Hated it! - and making sure the snowblower is ready for what's comin' - Hated it! - I entered the house to find our fifth grader administering CPR to our dog.

I asked, "What are doing?"

He said, "I'm giving Kopper CPR."

"But," I protested, "he doesn't need CPR!"

Response: "Never know."

@#$%

Speaking of the mysterious, PBHO talked so much about "change" during the campaign.

He excited the whole world and, uh, most of America.

I may be wrong; but doesn't his cabinet and administration look a lot like recycling?

@#$%

Now go back to the first section.

"Hated it" is from a short-lived TV show called True Colors.

It didn't star Cyndi Lauper; but every time I hear about another guy/gal being, uh, chosen by PBHO to, uh, change, as he says, the best nation in the world, I remember those two gay movie reviewers from True Colors - Hated it! - and start singing her song by the same name.

@#$%

If ML shows up as an intern, I'm gonna take a longer look at Revelation 12-13.

@#$%

On the non-mysterious side of things, you gotta hand it to the Muslims.

They're always endearing themselves to the rest of the world.

Taking some time off from chopping off the heads of missionaries and bombing grade schools, Al-Qaida's #2 Ayman al-Zawahri popped out his hellhole to spew his/their take on Election 2008: "America has put on a new face, but its heart full of hate, mind drowning in greed, and spirit which spreads evil, murder, repression and despotism continue to be the same as always."

Gee, that kinda sounds like JW/BA who have never been as tight with PBHO as they claim.

Hmm.

Maybe they picked that up from JJ who has been cashing in on his not-as-tight-as-he-says relationship with MLK, Jr. almost as long as America's addiction to foreign oil.

Never mind.

Gettin' back to the raghead, he went after PBHO; saying he is "the direct opposite of honorable black Americans" like Malcolm X.

Then he said PBHO is like Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice: "house negroes."

Prediction.

Americans, crackers included, are gonna rally around PBHO like never before in one of those we-can-pick-on-one-of-our-own-but-don't-you-pick-on-one-of-our-own things.

When the chips are down, Americans rally around the flag.

Americans are gonna rally around PBHO if the Muslims keep this up.

He/they better duck back into that hellhole.

@#$%

Speaking of stupidities, The View's Joy Behar who makes Paris Hilton look like a MIT alumna says Sarah Palin is an "airhead."

Kathleen Parker thinks Republicans need to drop G-O-D from their vocabulary if they ever want to be a force in American politics again.

Chris Matthews wants to execute Joe Lieberman.

Hugh Hefner, who just, uh, tried to get up again, believes Sarah Palin will not make a good VP. Seriously, he just said that.

Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa suggests Jesus would preside at same-sex marriages.

Speaking of hellholes...

@#$%

You know America is in trouble when The View, Jerry Springer, Keith Ubermacht, and Rachel Maddening have enough ratings to stay on the dope box.

Oprah the Baptist and Sean the Rightest appear remarkably sane by comparison.

Help us, Jesus!

@#$%

Barbara Walters, the matriarch of much of what's going wrong, keeps bringing up this dude who is really a dudette but claims to be a dude who just gave birth to a baby.

Transgenderism.

Geez.

Men cutting off their weenies to pretend they're women and women adding on parts to pretend they're men...

Oh, yeah, nothin' wrong there!

Therapist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Does anyone remember Monty Python's Life of Brian?

It's a 1979 movie which includes a hilarious scene about a bunch of ancient Israelite revolutionaries who are debating whether to fight for a man's right to have babies.

And to think I thought that was a joke.

@#$%

eHarmony.com, a website promoted by James Dobson (or formerly promoted by JD), has agreed to start matching gay couples in 2009.

Change.

Apparently, eH was threatened by the New Jersey Division on Civil Rights for discriminating against gays by only matching up straights - prompted by a complaint by a gay guy who proved eH wouldn't accept his advertisement for a partner.

The complaint aka potential lawsuit was dropped as eHarmony.com caved.

I'm tellin' ya that the way left agenda is becoming SOP in America through the, uh, back door of judicial legislation, actual/threatened lawsuits, and constitutional defiance (civil and ecclesiastical).

The way left is learning a lot from the PCUSA: if you can't win by majority vote, find a funky judge, judicatory, governing board...

If all else fails, just do whatever the hell you want to do; because constitutional fidelity has gone the way of the American auto industry: pret' near obsolete.

@#$%

Longing for the way things never were or maybe were but are no more, victorious Proposition 8ers (anti-same-sex-nuptials-Neanderthals) who keep losing after winning because of the aforementioned strategies of "success" schemed by America's way left keep pressing on anyway.

From, uh, a deeply throated source in California: "30 states have voted on this issue, and 30 states have affirmed that marriage is one man - one woman...7 out of 10 Americans have voted that marriage is one man - one woman...However,...what the anti-marriage crowd cannot get by the democratic process, they try to coerce by judicial tyranny and by mob action."

Again, PCUSAers and other mainliners understand that fact of ecclesiastical life divorced from Biblical standards of faith and morality.

Continuing: Opponents of Proposition 8 (uh, whatever) "are now refusing to accept it [defeat], asking the California Supreme Court to overturn our new constitutional amendment...They have taken to the streets...Religious bigotry is happening across our state with so many acts of violence...We are asking people to report these to ProtectMarriageCA@4sd.net. As soon as we can, we shall post these Persecution Alerts on http://www.protectmarriageca.com. Bricks have been thrown through church windows. Church buildings have been defaced. Pastors have been threatened. Cars damaged. Likely a quarter of a million signs were stolen. Worst of all, some people have been beaten."

Tip-toe through the...

Change.

@#$%

Mail time!

From The Old Gray Dog: "Liberals desire for 'dialogue' is solely for the purpose of convincing others of their point...Those in the PCUSA who are fighting for the Book of Order - because it upholds traditional values - fail to realize that the liberals can, and will, amend it to read whatever they want...'Fidelity and Chastity' will be challenged until it is removed. Liberals do not 'accept' the will of the majority, unless it agrees with them."

They read Che's manual on guerrilla warfare. If you can't win by the rules of conventional warfare, ignore 'em; and if you've got the bureaucrats on your side, it's really easy. The only recourse is to withhold or redirect financial support; but, of course, if you do that, you're not being loyal to the institution. Hmm. I guess it's O.K. to be disloyal to Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture and upheld by almost all mainline constitutions. Where's that old Superman comic on Bizzarro World?

From the State of Washington: "Incidentally, my non-Christian friend who reads your KDs says if he wins the Lotto, you will shortly thereafter receive a Chopper from an anonymous benefactor."

Excellent! But why wait? My chrome pony fund is up to $23.58; which means I'm only $9000 away from a good used one. My funds are tied up with paying off the Caliber/plastic. So consider it a donation or something. I've learned from Louisville (our franchise's HQ) how to launder money for less than Biblical stuff in ways that make it appear... If they can get away with it, maybe... Let's try!

From our family of faith's youth guy who is really good but hardly appreciated enough like the rest of our staff and likes to provide stuff for KD: quoting from a Tony Evans devotional which I could have used when I was really writing too much about Election 2008 for the proprieties of pewsitters who prefer pulpiteers to say nothing eloquently, "Unless we are influencing government so that it has a divine standard by which to operate, government won't know which way to go. That is why you need Christian politicians, Christian lawyers, and Christian city council members. The reason most governments don't carry out God's agenda is because God's people are not influencing them."

Watch the meddlin', boy! You better start acting like most folks who read and hear my stuff. Just ignore me! If you start takin' Jesus seriously, you're gonna catch a lot of hell. Of course, you'll also go to heaven. Hmm. O.K.

From my favorite Coach in Arizona: "Pastor, you have to quit being so hard on yourself. You're doing a wonderful job keeping Jesus first and ministering to the needs of a diverse congregation. God loves you and so do I."

Thanks, Coach! That helps after being blind-sided, bushwhacked, and betrayed at the last presbytery meeting and by some former members of our family of faith who blamed me for leaving when it's really more about... Well, uh, you know because we talked about it before. Anyway, thanks! And because you've been so kind, I'm publishing your poem as the penultimate last word:

The election is over, the talking is done.
My party lost, your party won.
So let us be friends, and let arguments pass.
I'll hug my elephant, you kiss your ___.

@#$%

Change.

My son is right about CPR.

Never know.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

November 18, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

When I hit the links with my dad, he always asks on the first green between jingling change and whistling in some gamesmanship, "Son, why do you putt left-handed when you play right-handed?"

I reply, "Dad, you know I've been putting left-handed for over twenty years because I used to hit heavy topspin when I played competitive tennis and it gave me the yips so I can't putt left-handed and putt right-handed."

After the redundant dramatic pause which lasts until I'm in the backswing of my first putt of the day, he mutters, "Well, I've got news for you. You can't putt left-handed either."

Recently, I asked, "How does it feel to be an octogenarian?"

He replied, "Don't worry. You're catching up."

He can be so sarcastic.

Hmm.

@#$%

Seriously, my dad is sarcastic; and I guess it's a generational gift in our family.

He's also a true patriot, faithful husband and father, and walks the talk of Christianity better than most.

I got some of my iconoclastic spirit from him as well as Him (read Exodus 20).

He is very discouraged/frustrated/ticked by the current state of ecclesiastical and uncivil politics.

He says, "A liberal is somebody with both feet planted firmly in the air; and when you look into their eyes carefully, you don't know if they're having a vision of God or just pooped in their pants. A conservative is somebody who hates to see anything happen for the first time."

@#$%

Speaking of labels, have you noticed how liberals are now progressives and conservatives are now traditionalists?

What's up with that?

You say tomato, I say...

Where is GWB's daddy's VP when we need him?

It reminds me of pro-choicers who are really pro-abortionists which is kinda like pro-lifers who are really crackers who don't want to spread any of their wealth around which might help encourage bringing more lives into the world.

I guess progressives aren't regressives like traditionalists who really don't like anything new and traditionalists aren't hedonists like progressives who are progressing beyond old-fashioned morality.

I don't know.

I feel like Gramps in Moonstruck, "I'ma so confused."

@#$%

Staying on labels for a few more moments, I met (yesterday) with a Ph.D. candidate from Loyola University of Chicago who is working on an ecclesiastically-related dissertation and asked me to be a part of the primary research sample: "Exploring the Relationship between Work, Family and Religion among Clergy Families."

The candidate is bright, articulate, winsome, and not so academic to create distance from God by degrees.

After being queried, I asked, "Don't you think all of the ideological labels are imprecise?"

After a precise survey of the prevailing ideologies with allowances for imprecisions which confirmed the second sentence of this section, we talked of Christian ethics not fitting very well into any of the prevailing ideologies even while allowing for imprecisions.

For a quick review of the preceding sentence's conclusion, read Matthew 5-7, 25.

@#$%

Making a leap to the afterglow of Election 2008, PBHO continues to confuse me.

God knows America needs some "changes" in how we're, uh, doing business and conducting foreign policy; but recruiting Podesta, HRC, Kerry, Richardson, and the old gang doesn't seem very, uh, creative, ground-breaking, ceiling-shattering, novel...

On the other hand, spending more time with Bishop Robinson than the Grahams is a really, really, really big change.

@#$%

Speaking of changes, same-sex marriage will be SOP in America long before the parousia.

While I'm Pauline and Freudian when it comes to stuff like that, America isn't as obsessed with sex as, uh, traditionalists assume.

Progressives are, uh, way ahead on this.

Progressives/mainliners (synonyms) are right on this one: the Bible ain't what it used to be in American religiosociopolitical culture.

As long as folks buy into revising history apart from history, reimaging faith apart from Biblical revelation, and finding/inventing "more light" to rationalize lusts apart from previously esteemed standards of belief and behavior, the prevailing power label can enable whatever the hell they want to enable.

Just ask the evangelical remnant in those mainline denominations.

@#$%

Proposition 8 has "outed" proponents/opponents.

Some proponents: all Mormons, most African-Americans, lots of sidelined Christians, orthodox Jews, Prince, Rick Warren, PBHO (according to JB in his debate with SP), JM, Newt, GWB, Knights of Columbus, Focus on the Family, Genesis, Exodus, and Jesus.

Some opponents: Barbara Streisand, George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, Bridget Fonda, Tiny Tim, Melissa Etheridge, Mary J Blige, Brad Pitt, Ellen DeGeneres, Whoopi Goldberg, MoveOn.org, Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein, Barbara Boxer, Gavin Newsom, all ten of California's largest newspapers, all six Episcopal bishops in California, and just about all mainline denominational bureaucrats.

If that ain't a hint...

Of course, it failed.

But not for long.

I expect the PCUSA to file the first amicus curaie to support challenges to its constitutionality.

Just like what's happening in the PCUSA, same-sex marriage advocates will win because they will gut victories of the voting majority by defying them even though they are upheld by the overwhelming majority of ecclesiastical/civil constitutions through judicial legislation and ecclesiastical/civil defiance/disobedience.

@#$%

This section is not for mainline clergy and progressives.

If you're interested in a clear, concise, surprisingly comprehensive, and, if you're still into the Bible, compelling argument for traditional sexual/marriage values, go to http://www.vimeo.com/2126309.

Again, don't click that on unless you're still into Biblical models of belief and behavior.

@#$%

Getting back to parochial issues, here are a few lines from a Chicago Presbyterian about presbyteries insisting on particular churches "exhibiting" ideologies considered anathema to their understanding of Biblical Christianity as upheld by the PCUSA constitution when hosting presbytery meetings: "I cannot believe anyone would say everyone would feel welcomed in the various churches of our presbytery. Of course, I remember the guy who said that looked so stunned when I said the PCUSA is irrelevant to our culture."

Continuing, "Guys like him are living in their own little world, the world of Ecclesiastica, where truth no longer matters and the appearance of peace, unity, and having a voice is the ultimate value."

Truth is not everybody wants to board the peace train.

Look what happened to Cat Stevens.

@#$%

A line from the youth guy in our family of faith: "You've got to go back and straighten out spiritual things first. When you see an economically depreciating community, you know something is wrong spiritually because God promises to meet the needs of His people."

@#$%

Needs.

Labels.

Jesus is Lord and Savior.

Connect the dots.

No sarcasm.

Just the facts.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

November 16, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

Democrats and Republicans share a despicable common denominator; lionizing their own and demonizing all others.

Years of providing pre/mid/post-marital care and counseling have convinced me that there are three sides to every story: our side, their side, and the truth.

That's why KDs publish so many contentions with, uh, me.

I don't pretend to know everything.

I'm wrong on lots of stuff; as my parishioners and subscribers are so increasingly quick to point out.

My only non-negotiable is Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture.

I'm with my first mentor, The Rev. Harold F. Mante (R.I.P.), who always urged in private as well as from the pulpit, "Think about it!"

Stop being such a mindless drone who follows the dictates of anybody pretending authority approaching His!

Think about it!

Of course, if you're not into thinking, you can become a Democrat, Republican, or join a personality cult (e.g., Joel, Rick, SP, PBHO) or corporate cult like one of those jingoistic mainliners which are trying so hard to exorcise dissent from their practical constitutions.

@#$%

In a related story, Rosie O'Donnell wants to have a beer with Sarah Palin.

Coincidentally, Rosie is gonna have a new show on NBC; starting on 11/26 (same day as KD son Daniel's birthday) and she's already booked Alanis Morissette who is so much hotter than SP.

I'm not surprised that NBC put Rosie back on the air; for she can now team up with Keith Ubermacht and Rachel Maddening to provide a clear contrast to Biblical Christianity and traditional American values.

Anyway, I guess Rosie has changed her mind about SP being "Harriet Miers with a better ___." Now she says, "I'd like to meet her kids. She seems like a pretty nice woman. Although I have to say I am thrilled her party did not win...I think I probably would like her."

Ratings.

Don't be too quick to interpret the previous word/paragraph.

Everybody's into ratings.

Think about it.

@#$%

A confession.

Republicans demonized PBHO for many reasons during Election 2008; including his intention to sit down with bad guys "without conditions" to see if there's any common ground for the welfare of humankind in a can't-we-all-just-get-along kinda way.

I've been, uh, thinking - and if you haven't, return to the website of your favorite mainline denomination or political party - and praying and even trying to look at that through the eyes of Jesus; and I don't remember Jesus making pre-conditions for sharing gospel and, as the Psalmist said, "pursuing" peace.

Besides, I meet with all kinds of people without pre-conditions as a pastor, professor, police chaplain...

@#$%

In a related story which is breaking now that Election 2008 is history regardless of what happens in Minnesota, PBHO met three times with Anglican Bishop Gene Robinson while on the campaign trail for private talks.

You may remember the bishop. He's the gay guy whose lover is living in the manse with him; sparking schism among Episcopalians.

Be that as it is, the bishop says, "The first words out of his mouth were, 'Well, you're certainly causing a lot of trouble.' My response to him was, 'Well, that makes two of us.'"

Chummy.

Here we go!

Despite the efforts of Mormons, African-Americans, sidelined Christians, orthodox Jews, and American traditionalists in California, same-sex marriage is about to be "decreed" in the USA; and watch for mainline ecclesiastical bureaucracies to horrify their constituents and then wonder why their $ is drying up by joining 'em with amici curiae.

@#$%

Because I'm not afraid to think about what ticks me off, I go to way left and way right and nauseatingly moderate and all kinds of websites and news sources so I'm not blind-sided by contentions to Biblical Christianity.

I'm even on subscription lists for groups like www.moveon.org; not because I subscribe to their ideologies but because I just want to know what they're, uh, thinking as I try to, uh, think about issues that they're, uh, thinking about.

I got this one which is kinda related to the previous section of this KD: "Along with our tremendous excitement over PBHO's victory, a lot of us are sad and angry about a different election result - the passage of Proposition 8, which reversed marriage equality and wrote discrimination into the California Constitution...The Courage Campaign (which does MoveOn-style organizing in California) is working with other groups on a two-year grassroots plan to overturn Prop 8 in the 2010 election."

Again, watch the mainliners!

I'll bet they'll be moving on with 'em as more and more of their members move on without 'em.

@#$%

In a barely related story, 60s terrorist William Ayers was quoted in The Chicago Tribune, uh, after Election 2008, again, describing himself as a "family friend" of PBHO.

I'm having a hard time figuring all of this out.

PBHO is not as tight with Jeremiah Wright as JW broadcasts and not as tight with William Ayers as WA, uh, I guess, pretends.

Someone is not telling the truth.

It won't be long before another trouble-maker like Alan Keyes comes along and says PBHO wasn't born in the USA in an effort to, uh, whatever...

Oops.

I know Democrats don't want to, uh, think about that as much as Republicans don't want to, uh, think about just about anything happening for the first time.

Personally, I don't care if he was born in the USA - Here comes Arnold! - or if he hangs out with sinners like Jesus did as long as he just sets the record straight one way or the other.

I don't have to agree with someone to trust 'em; or as I've leaned, listening and agreeing aren't the same thing.

I want to trust PBHO; but if he can't tell the truth about little things...

Please, Mr. President, just tell the truth about those relationships so we can trust you as you try to relate your hopes for...

I know how it goes.

I've got lots of weird relationships.

I'm a pastor in a mainline denomination.

@#$%

Speaking of pastors, the last KD which didn't wrap up Pastor Appreciation Month provoked contentions.

Pastors really liked it.

Pewsitters didn't.

Personally, I don't care either way; because, uh, remember, KDs are about thinking not necessarily agreeing in a Christian kinda way.

@#$%

Let's start with a blast at KD from Illinois: "I have no idea what % of your readers are pastors or pewsitters, and I know your sense of humor and enjoy it most of the time. But if you have a lot of people in the latter category, you might want to make sure they know you are kidding when you say things like this: 'I think some folks reimagine there's a sign in front of the church that says, 'Don't worry about making an appointment to see me. I ain't doin' nothin' anyhow'...Psst...That is true for some pastors who don't do anything until it catches up with 'em; and then they just move to the next...'"

Continuing, "You have no more important job than to be available for the Pearls of the world [go back to the last KD for context]...Instead of looking at what she's griping about, why not ask Jesus to reveal why she's really there and make an attempt to soften her heart?...Perhaps she told you about her son because she was looking for someone to talk to about her estranged relationship with him...I'm sure you already know that but it doesn't come through in your KD...I'm equally sure that pastors will appreciate your humor more than I did."

Good word, dudette! Obviously, I did not communicate the concern very well. Pearl, though very real nearly 25 years ago, is a metaphor for the inconsequential stuff keeping pastors from the consequential matters of ministry. Yes, her "concern" was bait for a greater concern; and, yes, pastors should teach pewsitters that they will not play those games. I recall a woman who had the hots for me who complained about the liturgy just to get my attention. Pastors need to make it clear that they have all the time in the world for people with real issues; but they will not play guessing games to get at them. Yes, yes, yes, it would be nice if we had all the time in the world to play such games; but honest to God pastors don't have time to play games because serious pastoral ministry in our culture is filled with opportunities to do exactly what you herald. Let me put it another way. All church/disciple growth experts say pastors/elders should spend most of their time with ripe rather than green apples. It's another metaphor. There's only so much time, friend. Quoist has taught me to pray, "I am not asking You today, Lord, for time to do this and then that, but Your grace to do conscientiously, in the time that You give me, what You want me to do."

@#$%

I went to see a woman who left our family of faith about ten years ago.

Her first words to me: "I don't like the institutional church."

My first words to her in response: "I'm not especially fond of it either."

Now we meet once a week, talk about Jesus, don't blame Him for the church, and pray and labor to love Him by loving like Him as attested in Holy Scripture.

@#$%

From Virginia: "I love pastoral ministry. It's the church I can't stand."

You've got lots of company, padre! Too much pastoral ministry today is ecclesiastical babysitting; pacifying hedonisms and coaxing folks to take membership/ordination promises seriously as if it were a choice instead of a compelling call. Truth is too many members/officers/pastors didn't understand the membership/ordination questions, lied when answering, or have changed their minds and don't have the integrity to demit.

@#$%

A New Jersey pastor's prayer: "May we survive to preach another day; or go home to the Lord!"

@#$%

From Maryland: "We have a ___ train here with their gifts of discouragement, backbiting, and negativity. What a sad and pathetic group...I confronted them...I have to admit it felt sooooo good...I thought I'd hear about it. Nary a word was said."

In other words, braveheart, the flock appreciated the undershepherd's protection!

He went on, "I will tell you what really ___ me off...those people who say they love me and support me and appreciate my ministry, who, when they hear all kinds of crap voiced, do not stand up and contradict it and speak in support of their pastor. Instead, they come to me in my office or take me aside in a hall or buy me lunch or a cup of coffee and tell me how bad they feel that this stuff is going on and they just want me to know how much they support me and disagree with the troublemakers...I used to thank them...Now I thank them and tell them how much I appreciate what they have to say, but note that telling me privately doesn't help the situation. That if they really want to do something positive and supportive that actually makes a difference, I'd prefer that they challenge the gossip and vitriol...I am still holding my breath...Actually, I am not. I realized it is a lost cause and just breath normally...As much as it pains me to know this, I find it hard to love them and pour out my life for them as I did the first 10 or 15 years of ministry...Because, in the end, when the bad guys want to destroy you, it doesn't matter how much good you've done or time you've invested in their lives as they will discount it all and find a way to get you. And the good guys will stand by, wringing their hands and telling you privately that they are on your side; while doing nothing to stand in the gap and discipline the unruly."

Sigh. Selah. Unfortunately, you're right on. When preachers die on Sunday, churches have ham and cole slaw in fellowship hall on Wednesday, and then elect another pastor search committee in hopes of finding a successor better than the predecessor. It's the truth and every preacher knows it. O.K., there are a few exceptions. Very few. That's why pastoral ministry must be about Jesus alone; because He's all there is in the meantimes as well as in the end.

@#$%

From a front pew in Kansas City: "The Church is not a place where people whose thinking is in conflict with truth should feel the least bit comfortable. Your job is to equip the saints and not facilitate others in equipping the heathen!...The bottom line is most modern believers, even the church-going types, don't know their butts from a hole in the ground when it comes to the important doctrines of the Church. They know so little about the Bible. They can't even locate John 3:16...Pastors need to counter what the world teaches with more than three points and a poem...Teach them about Jesus and keep the lies out of the building."

Please send your letter of transfer to our family of faith at...

@#$%

Getting back to a big part of the real problem, an executive presbyter, which is kinda like a bishop in theory and really like a bishop in practice, scolded me about 20 years ago, "You've got to stop telling people about problems in the denomination. Your responsibility is to tell them that everything is fine. If you tell them what's really going on, they'll get upset and won't send in their money to support us. I know we've got problems. You know we've got problems. But people in the pews don't need to hear about them."

I haven't paid attention to that counsel.

I defended a candidate for ordination who was evangelical and did not go to a franchise seminary about 30 years ago: "Actually, there are more Reformed theologians at his seminary than our denominational seminaries. Can anyone sitting in this meeting honestly say his seminary doesn't do a better job of preparing pastors than our denominational seminaries?"

A synod executive, which is kinda like a bishop of presbytery executives in theory but more like an abstinence counselor at a rap concert in practice, confronted me after the meeting and shouted, "That's exactly why you'll never get anywhere in our denomination."

I haven't.

It's become something of a spiritual merit badge.

Go back to the first section.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Friday, November 14, 2008

November 14, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

Pearl "dropped" in to see me.

She thought I was one of those pastors who works on the weekends and spends the rest of the time in wonder, love, praise, and sanctuary floral arrangements (I missed the seminary course on the last three!).

I think some folks reimagine there's a sign in front of the church that says, "Don't worry about making an appointment to see me. I ain't doin' nothin' anyhow. Matter o' facts, I gots this big jug o' lemonade on me desk for folks who wants to deliver me from my havin' nothin' to do so ya'll come on in 'cause I ain't doin'..."

Psst.

That is true for some pastors who don't do anything until it catches up with 'em; and then they just move to the next...

Of course, there are other pastors - I hope and pray to be one of 'em - who are always available for people with real needs rather than those just needin' an object of pathological transference or someone to say it's O.K. to use oil-filled rather than wax candles in the chapel.

Unless I'm with somebody else in a crisis or having an occasional visitation with my family, I am available to our family of faith and community (police chaplain and pastor who still makes hospital visits more than when it's convenient and there's nothing really important going on like an ecclesiastical meeting to dialogue on how we can make more room for apostasies) 24/7/365.

Anyway, I had been ordained for only about five years when Pearl showed up.

I don't know why people have this idea that they can say whatever the hell (literally) they want to say to their pastors and get away with it.

Maybe it's because we've got this reputation of agreeing with the last person that we've talked to or being so spineless that we don't hold people accountable for their irregularities.

Speaking of irregularities, I remember the shrink who diagnosed those irregulars: "Problem people in the church are usually constipated. That's why they dump on you."

Be that as it is, Pearl got right into it: "I hate your beard."

I said nothing about her brushed suede powder blue pants suit that looked like an advertisement for the next horse show or her perfume which could drop a bull at 50 paces; just employing a favorite pastoral retort, "You hate my beard."

She went on to say that my beard reminded her of her son and she had a hard time worshipping because when she looked at my beard...

I'm no shrink; so like most pastors, I did the weenie thing and said I'd shave it off if it helped her to worship.

It seemed like a small sacrifice; and, besides, that perfume was really starting to get to me.

When I saw her approaching me after worship the following Sunday, I braced myself for a gushing of gratitude.

She took my hand, looked me in the eyes in a way that reminded me of Miss Pratt the rat in first grade, patted my hand (Watch out!), and said in a not so subtle passive-aggressive kind of way, "Now about your moustache."

Lesson learned.

@#$%

That's when I remembered Charlie Cummings who was pastor of Faggs Manor Presbyterian Church in Donegal Presbytery (Pennsylvania).

He and FMPC left the PCUSA in the early 80s over human sexuality issues.

I always thought that was kinda ironic.

Be that as it was, he was my age now (56 but really 57 if you count time in the womb which I do because God does) back then when I was 25 and freshly ordained.

We were in some kind of pastoral support group where pastors get together to banter and moan about how awful it is to be a pastor.

I almost forgot what he said one day until Pearl came into my life: "I walked up the steps to bed last night after a session meeting, threw up my arms to Jesus, and cried, 'Take me now, Lord, because my life is better to you than anybody down here!'"

I think he went home to Jesus not too long ago.

He's blessed.

@#$%

Pastor Appreciation Month was last month (every October).

We've moved to Pastor Is An _____ & Convenient Conduit for Our Pathological Transferences Month (every other month).

Just being serious for a, uh, change.

@#$%

Parenthetically, I feel appreciated.

Not really but kinda appreciated.

I got some really nice cards and goodies from some folks; though there were some glaring omissions that also caught my attention.

Of course, going back to The Diary of a Country Priest, I didn't get into this to be liked or, uh, appreciated; for as the old priest says to the young priest in the book, we're called to be salt not honey: "Salt stings on an open wound but saves you from gangrene."

Jesus said something about that in His really big sermon in Matthew 5-7.

@#$%

Before I publish some subscriber comments about PAM/PIA_&CCFOPT months, I would like to say a lot of my fun ended (aka honeymoon) when we started our building campaign.

That's when the folks who never really liked me or liked the interim or some predecessor better began to come up with rationalizations for...

If you're a pastor subscriber, you know what I mean.

I know what it means.

I'm staying until the minority that hates me becomes the majority.

Even though I've been sorely tempted recently, my call to my call is increasingly strong and permanent; and, more than less, I do feel appreciated.

Please don't tell anyone about the last clause of the last sentence because I don't want anyone to know I feel appreciated because it will mess up some of my hypocrisy.

@#$%

Speaking of shows, one of my favorite staff members just came in and said PBHO is thinking of HRC as Secretary of State.

I thought he gave up nutty buddies.

I keep praying his record will match his reconciling rhetoric.

If he does pick HRC, London Bridge is falling down, falling down...

It will be a signal.

@#$%

Back to pastors, here's one from Texas: "My favorite opening line: 'Some people are very upset about _____.' Here's the ever popular variation: 'Pastor, some people are very mad at you.' Don't you love that. It makes my day!"

Well, podnah, here's a secret. When someone comes and says some people are saying..., you're lookin' at 'em!

@#$%

From Ohio: "Pastor, tell us what you think...as long as you think like me, I'll support you!"

Hey, buck up, buckeye! That's the way it is in the world; and you're in a mainline church which is as worldly as it gets! So what do you expect?

@#$%

From Pennsylvania: "You REALLY want me to...I hate being called REVEREND. I'm not supposed to be any more reverent than anyone else. Is it a ploy to assuage their guilt for not being very reverent? My old barber used to call me Reverend to keep from having to remember my name. Also, don't call me the minister. According to Ephesians 4, we're all supposed to be ministers."

Psst. My buddy in California who is much more Biblical than he can share with his congregation joined me in a doctoral program for that precise reason. We felt Rev was a little too presumptive and Dr wasn't as misleading; especially in the PCUSA. Besides, when I make reservations as Dr rather than Rev, I get a better table.

@#$%

From Illinois as a perfect example of why KD never identifies primary sources: "We have a group of ladies here that the staff calls 'the bitch train.' In fact, we have a sign - pulling on the invisible cord of a train whistle - to let other staff members know if one or more is in the office. They stifle conversation, suck the joy out of our ministry, and make the ordinary laughter of our office disappear into a pool of gripes, grunts, and rolled eyes."

She/he continues: "I realize there are people like this in every home, neighborhood, and church, but here is what bugs me the most. They are upheld - and present themselves - as the hardest workers and most reliable members of the church. Others just shake their heads or even laugh when we share stories about their misguided ways, and say things like, 'Well, you know ____' or 'She's always been that way' or 'It's tough to get old' or (my favorite) 'she's earned the right to bitch.'"

She/he concludes: "No amount of preaching, modeling, or even threatening will persuade these ladies to stop their complaining, passive-aggressive sweetness on the outside, and their penchant for being self-appointed prophets."

A P.S. from her/him: "One of them gave oatmeal to me for PAM because she wanted me to take care of my health. Two weeks later she brought ten times more stress into my life by spreading rumors that I had stomped out of a meeting. Some help. I'm going to stop because the call sometimes conflicts with how pissed off I feel about being a pastor in today's church where we suffer fools so gladly."

No comment. I'm crying too much to see the, uh, keys.

@#$%

From Pittsburgh: "Only one church treated me well consistently. It was the church where my predecessor committed suicide."

@#$%

People like to shoot the messenger.

I catch a lot of hell (literal) for provoking thought about walking the talk of Biblical Christianity more than just pretending for reasons unrelated to the reality of eternal destinies at stake.

I can take it; and I'm still marketable.

I know I'm called.

It's killing me.

Some like it that way.

Sorry for telling the truth.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

November 12, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

A wiser saint said to me long ago, "What you believe has got to mean more to you than what people think of you."

Today, I put it this way: "The truth as patterned by Jesus, prescribed in Holy Scripture, and upheld by our constitution has got to mean more to you than your need for vocational and relational security and advancement and the temptation to exalt temporal lusts and satisfactions over your eternal destiny."

I think of Matthew 16:24-28.

Here's how I put it in my non-best-selling (still available at a credibly cheap price) Fifteen Secrets for Life and Ministry: "Remembering you're going to live a lot longer with Jesus than anybody else makes establishing life's priorities a no-brainer."

Of course, few bought the book, fewer read it, and I'm just tinkling in the wind these days.

But when I'm feeling really sad about what's happened to the formerly faithful mainline denominations, I think of Jesus.

I read Hebrews 12 within the context of Matthew 23:37-39.

I don't know if Jesus is more sad or angry at what we've enabled and accommodated in the church which is increasingly anathema to what we know about Him in the Bible.

Knowing I've got less time than I've spent in life and ministry, I've decided to follow Jesus to the end; even if it means never being moderator of anything in my ecclesiastical judicatories or winning the favor of folks in the community who don't want the truth but rather a rationalization for their hedonisms.

Yeah, I've got a big mouth; but I will change the mind that provokes it if corrected by Jesus according to the Bible.

I was thinking about all of that during my primary ecclesiastical meeting yesterday; and, I confess, a Neil Young song kept swirling around my spirit during worship: "My life is changing in so many ways. I don't know who to trust anymore. There's a shadow running through my days like a beggar running from door to door..."

I read Psalm 1, looked around, and felt worse.

I read Psalm 62, turned to Chuck, and said, "I'm sufficiently humbled by all of this to receive the sacrament from His hand."

Lord, have mercy on me when I enable and accommodate who and what insult Your holiness.

@#$%

In a related story, our family of faith is in a building program.

While the economy is precarious and our resources were raped and relations were fractured during a tumultuous period between installed pastors which we're still feeling and only recently being delivered from its last vestiges, morale is good, the remnant is psyched, and we're gonna do it!

Unfortunately, part of my pastoral responsibility is honesty about the good, bad, and ugly attached to church building programs; noting there will be a flow in during and after building but also a trickle out by people who really aren't into it for a variety of reasons left to His judgment.

Psst.

Some folks leave during a building program because they're really too cheap to participate; and instead of being honest about it, they come up with rationalizations for leaving which usually end up in a defaming, denouncing, and damning of the incumbent installed pastor.

We've tried to assure folks who are experiencing real financial stresses during these days that we expect them to invest all of the resources necessary to support their primary call to their families and that their prayer, emotional, and spiritual support are enough as we trust Him to compel those who have been extraordinarily blessed with $ to fork over.

That's just the way it is with every new adventure.

Some get on the bus and some don't (a C.S. Lewis metaphor from The Great Divorce which mainliners have formatted from their practical hard drives).

@#$%

Speaking of new adventures, I know this is hard for crackers to take but nearly 70% of America and a very big % of the world expects the next four years in our nation and globe to be better than the last four.

Hold your breath, crackers.

People really like PBHO.

Now bite down real hard and clench your fists, crackers.

Averaging the nationwide results, PBHO collected 44% of the non-colored-that-means-white vote; which, get out the Valium, is more than John Kerry, Al Gore, or even Bill Clinton garnered.

Simply, white folks seem to like PBHO almost as much as black folks; noting that well over 90% of our African-Americans did not vote for JM/SP.

O.K., some get on the bus and some...

@#$%

Here are my two favorite quotes about PBHO's, uh, ascension.

From 70 year-old community activist Donald E. Robinson near PBHO's new residence after leaving the voting booth and anticipating victory: "Why do I have to be listed as African-American? Why can't I just be American?"

From Robert Robinson (coincidentally) who is the managing editor of sports for USA Today: "As I watched the election results.., I found myself fighting back tears as I thought of just how far we have come as a country...I didn't think about the war, job layoffs, the sinking economy, the high cost of gas or the rising cost of food...I thought about what a great time it is to be alive and living in America."

Jackie Robinson comes to mind (not coincidentally).

@#$%

That's why I'm praying every Sunday in corporate worship and every day in my personal devotions, "Lord, protect and encourage PBHO; compelling him by Your Holy Spirit into courageous and increasing conformity to Your will as patterned by Jesus and prescribed in the Bible."

God knows he's got a tough job ahead.

Aside from the crackers and demons who have possessed his haters to suggest and scheme the unthinkable - which would send our nation/globe into unparalleled crisis - the expectations have been set so high for him that he better be the chosen one with some miracles up his sleeves.

I'm with Chuck Colson: "PBHO will surely need our prayers because he and his administration face huge, serious challenges to the health of our nation and to the peace in the world-challenges that, in my opinion, neither he nor any government on earth will have the power to overcome without divine aid."

Everybody: "Long may our land be bright with..."

@#$%

I've got to shatter two myths about Election 2008.

First, our African-American - Americans! - sisters and brothers tend to be more faithful to Biblical morality than whities; and if you check out the polling data from California's Proposition 8, you'll get some proof.

Parenthetically, it was the predominantly African-American organizations in our junior tackle football league which lobbied to move most of our games from Sunday to Saturday because "they" prefer to be in worship on Sunday mornings!

Second, everybody, including me, has questioned if PBHO is gonna be influenced by his nutty buddies who enabled and encouraged him to the White House. I don't think so. My guess comes from my experience in the African-American community as a pastor, police chaplain, and president of a junior tackle football league. Blacks have had to make difficult alliances throughout history just to survive the bigotries of their sick white counterparts. But think about it! BHO has become President BHO! It's the biggest and most powerful prize on the face of the earth. Or as Mel Brooks taught us to scream, "It's good to be the King!" I don't know anyone in history who has risen to the top who caters to anyone; and, again, look at the fact that PBHO was not elected to office by blacks. Yeah, great support; but it was whites who put him on top. I know crackers don't want to believe that; but the truth - that word - is PBHO was elected by all colors.

That'll shock 'em!

@#$%

Mail time!

From Illinois: "I really enjoyed your election material. I really did learn what you were teaching between the lines and with all your tail-twisting. It was great! I believe that Belvidere is not your last stop in God's plan. You are going to be on a national talk show soon."

Hold on, cowboy! I think some syndicate should run the KDs and I'd like to spend a few radio hours a week with folks in the region and then the nation; just chatting and thinking and KDing (you can call 'em and make the suggestion). Maybe I could pick up a few bucks and pay off the plastic/Caliber, get a chrome pony, and spread some wealth around. But even though I'm not that appreciated in Belvidere and folks are still transferring their pathologies from the past to me, I really feel called to Mural City. Besides, I just made a deal with a really substantial citizen and member that I'm here for the duration. He said he'd really fork over for the building program if I stay. I said I planned to stay anyway...and he better fork over!

From Virginia: "I have read your columns. It's refreshing to find a truly smart, educated person who is not on the far left. Thank you for having the courage to speak up for Biblical Christianity without fetters."

Thank you! That means a lot to me after yesterday. I was betrayed twice in two days by folks who've been defended by me a lot more than they'll ever know. Truth is I bleed like everybody else; but considering His blood, I carry on with saints like you.

From Florida: "I think you need to be a columnist some place. Someday I would love to pick your brain about how people like myself need to posture themselves out in the secular workplace."

Candidly, dear friend, you're already doing a great job; but keep reading and invite me down for a revival or something. I need the $ and I love to talk about Jesus; uh, please reverse that order! Conversely, I feel like Bryant Kirkland who often said, "I would like to tell you everything I know, but I don't have five minutes.

@#$%

Let's close with a quote from the last great President (RR) as we pray PBHO is the next one: "Freedom is a fragile thing and is never more than one generation away from extinction. It is not ours by inheritance; it must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people. Those who have known freedom and then lost it, have never know it again.

Are you listening America?

Are you listening Church?

Go back to Matthew 16:24-28.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

November 11, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

I was going to celebrate our wedding anniversary last night; but I had a session meeting.

Fortunately, our elders love Jesus; praying and laboring to honor Him through our family of faith.

So it didn't feel like penance; which is how I usually feel when attending most churchy meetings.

From what I'm hearing and seeing, I should be especially thankful for this uncommon experience in mainline denominations where any connection between Jesus and polity/practice is purely coincidental.

@#$%

My wife and I went to lunch at my favorite local ethnic restaurant.

It's next to my favorite coffee shop.

She's a subscriber to KD; and, like you, gets it for free.

Unlike you, she showed her appreciation with a gift card to Starbucks; knowing I like my coffee like He likes His disciples: bold.

She also gave a nice check to help pay off my Caliber/plastic and increase my chrome pony fund to $17.89.

That's wrong.

The gifts were for our anniversary.

She is like you.

@#$%

Not changing the subject, temptations are bad things that taste good; yet lead to emotional/intellectual/spiritual/physical indigestion sooner or later.

I know.

I pray, "Lord, please don't lead me into temptations because I have no problem finding them myself."

@#$%

Speaking of temptations, anyone forced to read Animal Farm in 6th or 7th grade knows fascism isn't just a right-wing phenomenon.

The left and right will slip on the glove of dictatorship - geezers will recall that skit from That Was The Week That Was - whenever they get the chance.

Might isn't always right; but it's kinda fun.

@#$%

For example, lefties have seized control of mainline denominations; advocating and enabling defiance of their own constitutions which, more than less, honor Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture.

Everybody knows that; and when somebody says they don't know that, they're either illiterate, residing in the ozone layer of reality, paddling a canoe through Disney's It's a Small World, smokin' weed in WalMart's parking lot, flashing back to their first Vanilla Fudge concert, or part of the conspiracy that took over and want you to think...

Change that.

They don't want you to think; which, parenthetically, is a KD intention.

With the country turning harder left in Election 2008, ecclesiastical lefties in mainline denominations, formerly held in check by the decreasing numbers of folks on the rolls who still believe in Jesus and Biblical authority as upheld by their constitutions, are goin' for, uh, it.

@#$%

My particular ecclesiastical judicatory (presbytery for those not chained to my parochial ghetto), which is not unlike most mainliners these days, has some polity-savvy-passive-aggressive lefties who are trying to sneak a really bad ideological codicil into the bylaws which, uh, dictates, in effect, that individual/particular churches which host presbytery meetings forfeit their jurisdiction over anybody authorized by somebody - still trying to figure out who's really behind this one - to hawk their wares/ideologies even if they are anathema to the individual/particular church's witness: "Recognized networks and partnerships may exhibit and present in presbytery meetings and their participation may not be restricted by any church or group."

Uh, fleshing that out a bit because that's what's really behind all of this, it means an individual/particular church which is kinda still fundie enough to believe in Biblical standards of human sexuality cannot proscribe the distribution of literature and pulpit/lectern/center/aisle/microphone presentations of ideologies bearing little resemblance to Biblical Christianity if authorized by somebody yet to be identified.

Are you confused?

O.K., let me use another example which may help.

Recently, in Pittsburgh, a decision was reached that said Presbyterian pastors can preside at same-sex weddings because there's nothing in the constitution prohibiting same-sex weddings which means they're not presiding at same-sex weddings because there's no provision for same-sex weddings in the constitution which allows them to preside...

What?

Go back to Orwell (viz., Animal Farm and also 1984 which is being re-edited for 2008).

@#$%

Pastors who are still fixated on Jesus as the paradigm and the Bible as the prescription for ecclesiastical polity/practice recognize their responsibility to fence congregations from apostasies and antagonisms to the old, old, increasingly ignored, story of Jesus and His agape.

They'll fight such overtures, conspiracies, and, uh, back door attempts to defy Biblical Christianity as upheld by their constitutions so far yet so precariously.

They'll withhold and redirect their $.

But it's over; and Dandy Don is singing in the distance, "Turn out the lights! The party's over!"

If you're a mainline pulpiteer/pewsitter, you're gonna have to deal with the mainline moving to the sideline of American religious life as well as Biblical fidelity just like crackers are gonna have to get over Election 2008.

Now would be a good time to read about those revelatory two witnesses.

@#$%

As pour moi, I ignore 'em; and I'm still protected - How long, Jesus? - by a denominational constitution which allows my dissent, redirections of resources and energies/emotions, and continuing witness to Jesus according to the Bible as long as I don't start taking stuff like blood atonement and animal sacrifices too seriously.

I call it creative neglect.

You can read about the particulars in my non-best-selling Fifteen Secrets for Life and Ministry which is on sale via www.amazon.com or from me at $5 plus postage and donation - I'm learning from Joel and Rick! - if you hit the reply key and provide a preferred address.

@#$%

Getting back to the sneaky little effort from the lefties in my judicatory to force our moderate to evangelical congregations within its jurisdiction to, uh, entertain their ideologies, my favorite rationalization is their insistence that proscriptions against their crap is censorship.

Geez.

Do you think Jesus would say, "Today, we're going to hear from folks who don't think I'm the way, truth, or life; and you can pick up their literature on the demonstration/exhibit tables in the narthex"?

Help me, Jesus!

Anyway, claiming our national ethic of "free speech" for witnesses anathema to Biblical Christianity as upheld by our constitution is cool for the streets but not sanctuaries consecrated for the glory, laud, and honor of Jesus alone.

Read Matthew 10 and John 10 sometime for a refresher on pastoral responsibilities.

@#$%

I forgot to mention our judicatory is meeting today on that sneaky amendment-to-the-bylaws proposal.

I'm gonna catch some hell for even bringing this up; but, you know, it's a KD thing.

If they ain't got nothin' to hide (aka clandestine agenda)...

I probably won't speak; unless, of course, I get really...

An old elder counseled many years ago, "Don't get into tinkling contests with skunks."

If it passes, I'll get up, ask to be recorded in the minutes as dissenting, maybe check with higher judicatories as to the constitutionality of it all, and tell our session that we've got an open date next May when we were supposed to host a presbytery meeting.

@#$%

In case you're interested, I wouldn't force one of the few but increasingly vocal and recently emboldened lefty congregations in our presbytery to allow groups like Christians for Biblical Sexuality or Christians Who Still Remember Jesus to hawk literature in their naves and speak from their pulpits.

Joshua 24:14-15 explains my reasoning.

Psst, for mainliners, that's in the Old Testament between Deuteronomy and Judges.

Just being serious for a change.

@#$%

Happy anniversary, honeybear!

Your gifts were thoughtful.

Your patience is...

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

November 9, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

PBHO is sooooo muchhh larger than life these days; though I still think he's only, uh, human.

I was gonna say his sooooo muchhh larger than life, uh, image is unbelievable; but lots of folks, even guys like Jakes and the sycophantic MSM, have been converted.

Be that as we'll discover sooner or later, I'm betting (lost three on Election 2008) he's not as divine as his fans assume nor as demonic as the more discerning claim.

O.K., here's a bone for the idolizers and demonizers. There is something spiritual about him.

@#$%

Did you get a load of his White House Chief of Staff's name?

Rehm Emanuel.

It's gettin' spooky.

@#$%

One of my favorite saints in our family of faith asked when I'm gonna preach on the second coming.

The chosen one's disciples say it's too late.

@#$%

Speaking of idolatries, my least favorite local rag - except for the sports writers, one religious writer, and a political writer who makes me think too much which is a decreasing inclination for mainliners like me - is cashing in on PBHO like JJ has on MLK, Jr.

They're offering metal press plates of the, uh, gospel of 11/4 for only $19.95 (if paid in advance) and full-color reprints of their 11/5 front page at recession-proof prices.

But if you go to www.suntimes.com/obama or www.zazzle.com/suntimes, you can get T-shirts, posters, a commemorative DVD of Election Night 2008, First Family Portrait, Obama Flag Poster, Grant Park Poster, and altar (just kidding) at prices that would make Barney Frank blush.

Reprints of Exodus 20 are not available.

@#$%

Billy Graham was 90 on 11/7.

Son Franklin said "his father's mind remains sharp even as his body continues to fail. But the preacher who has counseled every President beginning with Eisenhower is not in line to mentor Obama."

I'm shocked.

@#$%

Speaking of pastors, PBHO's former - wink, wink - pastor Jeremiah Wright is baaaaaack.

In his first public speech since being placed in an isolation chamber so he wouldn't say anything hinting at a close relationship with PBHO which wasn't really that close after 20+ years with at least one wedding and two baptisms, the UCC (sister franchise to PCUSA) forerunner spoke to 1200 Northwestern University whatevers on 11/7.

He began by criticizing the media; and emphasizing how he has been treated so unfairly, he noted, "Ray Charles could see that."

He said PBHO is "a man whom I have admired for 20 years, and whose candidacy I have supported every day, ever since he told me he would run."

I don't get it.

He keeps saying they're tight and he keeps saying they're not.

Somebody can't distinguish facts from fiction.

Kinda like all of that messianic talk.

Be that as it is, what are the odds against JW getting the nod for the inaugural prayer?

@#$%

Jesus said we gotta be more loyal to Him than anybody else; which everybody in the Church but mainliners knows.

So where does that leave PBHO's aunt who is trying to avoid deportation?

I don't know.

I'm not even sure if that's a good analogy.

Regardless, I was thinking GWB, who (by all accounts except for Keith Ubermacht's whose opinions are as profound as Paris Hilton's) is being extraordinarily gracious in greasing the transitional machinery, could win some points with everybody who voted against him on 11/4 by granting clemency to Zeituni Onyango (PBHO's aunt).

Getting back to Jesus, I just wanted to mention Him in any context just in case more than mainliners are forgetting He is the real One.

@#$%

Getting back to the keepsakes, "Perhaps you plan to relive the 2008 Presidential election with future generations. But wait, you can't simply toss the newspaper in the den and forget about it - not unless you want it to turn into a nasty shade of yellow and disintegrate. So here are a few tips to preserve your fragment of history: avoid exposure to light..."

Whoa.

Avoid exposure to light.

A slip from The Chicago Sun-Times.

@#$%

In a related story, I guess this means were gonna see a lot more of SNL's Fred Armisen doing PBHO impersonations than Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin.

By the way, did you hear about SP answering the door in just a towel?

Well, I guess we're gonna find out, sooner or later, how much Election 2008 was about, uh, cover-ups.

@#$%

"Every knee shall bow, every tongue confess that _____ is Lord..."

Fill in the blank.

Your vote is really gonna count in the end.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Friday, November 7, 2008

November 7, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

Kopper and I were hitting the road a tad earlier (4:15 a.m.) than usual (4:35 a.m.) because I couldn't take his barking anymore which started at 12:16 a.m. while a neighbor was sneaking her/his paramour into the house through a side door.

Our puppy is one of my best KD sources; sniffing out the do-do and making sure I step in it.

Anyway, and I'm not sure if this is inspiration or indigestion, a song from 1963 kept going through my head (Bob not Barry): "Come gather 'round people wherever you roam and admit that the waters around you have grown; and accept it that soon you'll be drenched to the bone. If your time to you is worth savin'. Then you better start swimmin' or you'll sink like a stone for the times they are a-changin'."

@#$%

Election 2008 has ignited more celebrations than Prince Charles' first wedding and provoked more concerns than Joe Namath posing for a panty hose ad after shaving off his Fu Manchu.

Anybody who loves America as well as the rest of the planet which is the only Christian way to feel has got to want PBHO to be as pret' near pure and perfect in every way as his idolaters proclaim through their wonder, love, praise, glory, laud, and honor.

I want to believe he is gonna emulate His best as exemplified in Jesus and explained in Holy Scripture.

Here it comes again: "Come writers and critics who prophesize with your pen and keep your eyes wide the chance won't come again and don't speak too soon for the wheel's still in spin and there's no tellin' who that it's namin'. For the loser now will be later to win for the times they are a-changin'."

@#$%

Celebrations echo from Malibu to Motown to Mecca!

PBHO is a White Sox fan - a real boost to a team that wins more than the other team in town but with about as much respect as Sarah Palin gets from Keith Ubermacht, et. al.

Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter, who the Steelers miss already, wears Obama shirts in the locker room and echoes Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb: "I had the opportunity to vote and I can say I was a part of it. How great it will be if we win the Super Bowl and go to the White House to see PBHO." Other Eagles were heard in the background yelling, "Yes, we can!"

Al Franken, a miserable lout whose mean-spirited humor is rivaled only by Ubermacht and Maher, knows he'll get a better shot at a fair recount than Gore or Kerry with him in office.

Somebody in Delaware not Scranton (Pennsylvania) is about to be tapped to replace JB in the Senate; though I heard somebody say all it may take is a tube of Botox and bucket of hair plugs.

Rod Blagojevich whose approval rating is even lower than GWB's gets to pick PBHO's Senate successor and the early $ is on U.S. Representative Jesse Jackson, Jr. who is a really good choice relative to the other options; and, by the way, though Blago is really, really, really unpopular in Illinois, he'd still win affections and votes in Northeastern and Western Pennsylvania. Just ask Kanjorski and Murtha. Thank God for Election 2008 which proves America is moving beyond ethnic pride!

Celtics coach Doc Rivers: "The guys were celebrating Obama's victory more than we just beat the Rockets on the road. I thought that was really cool."

Hart Schaffner Marx suits, J. Crew, Planters Peanuts (viz., Trail Mix), Fran's Chocolates (Smoked Sea Salt Caramel in Milk Chocolate for him and dark for her), Black Forest Berry Honey Tea, Nicorette, Ford (Escape SUV), and NBA commish Stern ("Absolutely transformational!") are ecstatic; and if you don't understand the preceding, it's because you're not whoopin' it up to Jimi Hendrix's Wild Thing.

Please: "Come Senators, Congressmen please heed the call don't stand in the doorway don't block up the hall for he that gets hurt will be he who has stalled there's a battle outside and it's ragin'. It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls for the times they are a-changin'."

@#$%

Concerns more than whispers from Newport Beach to Janesville to Jerusalem!

Several moderate to left commentators didn't dine at Chicago's Grant Park love feast; saying they sensed a "slightly creepy cult of personality."

From a preacher in South Carolina who just fled the mainline for the sideline which is really the mainline now that the sideline has become the mainline: "We're sure to hear a hip-hop version of Happy Days are Here Again and that can only mean your prayers for help with your Caliber/plastic/chrome/pony fund will arrive any day now...On the reverse side, I'm praying for our 1st Lady-in-waiting who has been in the running for 'Miss Congeniality' and will not likely be invited to speak to very many American Legion or VFW conventions when her hubby, our, can barely say it, Commander-in-Chief declines the invitations he's sure to receive (lol)."

From a favorite lawyer who should join an evangelical "Presbyterian" church (a vanishing breed): "I disagree with you about America moving to the ideological left. Haven't you followed the gay marriage constitutional amendments?...The Republican Party disgusts me. Those who still control the party have little use for evangelicals. I am an economic populist and a social conservative, like Huckabee (I like Mike!)."

Karl Rove: "What Mr. Obama and his team achieved was impressive. But in 75 days comes the hard part. We saw a glimpse of the challenge Tuesday night. The President-elect's speech, while graceful and at times uplifting, was light when it comes to an agenda...It continued a pattern...What of the woman who rejoiced that Mr. Obama would pay for her gas and take care of her mortgage, tasks that no President can shoulder?...The country voted for change Tuesday. But the precise direction of that change remains unclear."

Cal Thomas: "Does the secular left, when it holds power, persuade conservatives to live by their standards? Of course, they do not. Why, then, would conservative evangelicals expect people who do not share their worldview and view of God to accept their beliefs when they control government?...Evangelicals are at a junction. They can take the path that will lead them to more futility and ineffective attempts to reform culture through government, or they can embrace the far more powerful methods outlined by the One they claim to follow. By following His example, they will decrease, but He will increase. They will get no credit, but they will see results. If conservative evangelicals choose obscurity and seek to glorify God, they will get much of what they hope for, but can never achieve, in and through politics."

An embedded source in California: "I was in the office of then-Congressman Newt Gingrich when the idea of the Conservative Opportunity Society was hatched. It became the foundation for the later Contract for America and the resurgent Republican majorities of the 1990's and early 2000's...This last year or so, he has led a project to define a platform which truly represents the mainstream of American political yearning. It will surprise KD because you have bought the MSM's lie about America turning leftward."

Not again: "Come mothers and fathers throughout the land and don't criticize what you can't understand your sons and your daughters are beyond your command your old road is rapidly agin'. Please get out of the new one if you can't lend a hand for the times they are a-changin'."

@#$%

From my favorite devotional writer in Oklahoma: "Last Tuesday evening I sat in my back yard contemplating the changes...I turned my eyes upward...I realized this same moon that was lending her light to me was the same moon that shined upon Adam and Eve, Abraham, Daniel, and Jesus! It as the same moon that bathed our forefathers in her light as they sought Divine Direction from God for the birth of our nation. She saw change after change through generation after generation. She was there at the conception of this world and she will continue to shine until her Creator says, 'No more!' She does what she was created to do...shine and glorify Almighty God. As I gazed at the moon, I was reminded that God was there in the beginning. He will be there when time ceases to exist, and He is still in control of this world...That will never change...As we turn the corner and walk into uncertain tomorrows, let us go with the full assurance of the knowledge that ultimate power and authority is His. If you need reminding, look at the moon..."

Chuck Colson: "Whether you voted for BHO or JM, whether you're recovering from your all-night celebration or drying the tears from your pillow, today's a good day to read 1 Timothy 2:1-3."

Today, I really like Romans 8.

I'm not sure about this: "The line it is drawn the curse it is cast the slow one now will later be fast as the present now will later be past the order is rapidly fadin'. And the first one now will later be last for the times they are a-changin'."

@#$%

Yes, they are.

No, He is not.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!