Wednesday, December 10, 2008

December 10, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)


Heeeeee's baaaaaack!

No, I'm not talking about KD with first editions only going out once to old friends and foes now that is up and running thanks to Kathie; and if you've got corrections or compliments or even suggestions aside from dropping the other member of her staff, just contact her via the address on the site.

Jeremiah Wright, who was never as close to PBHO as he fantasized despite a wedding and baptisms and a couple of decades of worship attendance and other incidental stuff (Hey! Pastors dig that!), was back in the pulpit of Chicago's Trinity United Church of Christ last Sunday and ripped some new ones for the media, the good old USA, and even Elizabeth Hasselback; referring to the latter as "that dumb broad."

Here's what he said about PBHO: "The hatred of the media and the haters in politics may have caused him to distance himself from us, but the love of Christ will never allow me to distance myself from him...I can no more disown him than I can disown any other child of mine who makes a bad decision. He made a bad decision, but he's still my child."


Is this an updated version of the Christmas story or what?

Or as Kathie asked over coffee with the Belvidere Brewers at Starbucks where we're always welcomed with good cheer, "If he's now claiming to be the father and PBHO is the son...?"


Speaking of relatives, Governor Blagojevich is heading to the slammer with his predecessor Governor Ryan for trying to sell PBHO's old Senate seat to the highest bidder.

Of course, Blago isn't as tight with PBHO as he thinks he is despite Chicago's ubiquitous political incest; so don't even try to connect those dots.

If we can't find that birth certificate, there ain't no way we're gonna...


I'm beginning to wonder if PBHO has any friends; or it must be a real surprise to people who thought he was/is/could/be their friend to keep hearing him say they weren't/aren't/will/never/be as close to him as they pretend.

Somebody has to get a grip on reality.

Or maybe we're just in a reincarnational time warp in which Capone and The Boss' old mafia/machine are baaaaaack in, uh, fresh attire:


Speaking of getting a grip, I'm still looking for hints of ch-ch-ch-changes in the new administration; especially since the next 4-8 don't look like the most recent 8 but seem hauntingly reminiscent of the 8 before that.

No wonder Bill Clinton seems so much happier these days.

Can you imagine how much fun he's gonna have in DC without any of the responsibilities?


Connecting some "relative" dots, I'll never forget when Bubba said, "I tried it but didn't inhale."

That's when I knew the boy had a hard time tellin' the truth about anything; for if you lie about little things...

O.K., maybe he didn't inhale.

Yeah, right!

Then how do you explain Monica Lewinsky?

O.K., maybe he didn't inhale; which prompted Kathie to say over that same cup of coffee, "I knew he wouldn't be a good President. For goodness sake, he didn't even know how to smoke a joint."


Staying on the subject of substance abuse, I know the dominoes are falling and we're heading for a depression: stock market, housing, banking, Big Three, news media bankruptcies, Boston Legal, and the Yankees not getting that pitcher from the Brewers.

But what's up with these stimulus packages and bail-outs?

If whoever's runnin' the show really wants to stimulate the economy, let's have a Year of Jubilee or something like that; which means I could get that chrome pony a lot...

And how come those bail-outs don't include the rank and file?

I've been looking over those plans to bail-out all of those falling dominoes and I see a lot of reductions of the work force and nothing about taking care of my plastic (see preceding sentence preceding the last one).

I may be wrong but(t) it seems to me that the guys who are being bailed out are the guys who messed things up in the first place and the ones who are [will be] suffering the most are women and men who live from paycheck to paycheck.

Is there anyone out there who shares my, uh, underwhelming confidence in Barney Frank (Does he sound like Elmer Fudd or what?), Nancy Pelosi (Help me, Jesus!), and those financial dolts in the GWB administration to reverse the inertia cited in the first sentence of this section?


Speaking of gifts, one of the three links on our site who never links us to anyone sent out this warning:


Mail time!

From one of the kindest friends in our family of faith (quoting somebody else): "Pride is perhaps the number one sin problem affecting the human race. It is usually at the heart of our relational difficulties with God and with others. Our pride makes us self-centered instead of Christ-centered...Pride keeps us from admitting our mistakes and our share of the blame for disagreements and misunderstandings. Pride feeds our unforgiving spirit and fertilizes the seeds of bitterness."

Amen! I thought of at least two folks and a few family members and, uh, that dang reflection in the mirror.

From Missouri: "I think it's time for KD to hit the radio waves. You really love people but don't let them get away with their idolatries. Your self-deprecating comments seem genuine and you have a way of sucking people in, slapping them upside the head, and then pointing to Jesus to save them. I think one of your local radio stations can hit the jackpot if they give you a few hours a week."

I'd do it; but no one is asking. And I'm not into calling 'em up for a shot. I do come cheaply; which is apparent to any church which ever hired me. But, yeah, I'd do it. I think people are hungry to wrestle with stuff in a Christian kinda way without the sanctimonious veneer of so many in our sociopoliticoreligio culture. I know I'm messed up and need a Savior. I like to paraphrase Fred Rogers, "God loves you just the way you are but too much to leave you just the way you are." I'm wrong on lots of stuff, which church folks feel so inclined to note for pastors these days, which is why I'm so thankful that He's always right in the end.

From a pastor in Virginia: "It was said in the 60s that the marijuana issue could be settled by a joint session of Congress."

Or a real confession from Bill Clinton.

From a pastor's wife in Maryland: "Our church's officers decided 'in light of the economy' that they would not offer my husband or any of the staff a raise for 2009. Now keep in mind that every one of those officers drives a big car or SUV. Every one of them owns their own home. Every one of them goes on vacation. Every one of them has more money in the bank than we will ever dream of having..."

Well, darling, that's just the way it is for church employees. A few quick hits. You gotta remember that church giving is discretionary for most members and even officers; kinda on the same level with club dues, vacation, and other amenities which they deserve and you don't because a vow of poverty was imposed on your husband when he was ordained at the expense of your family. Why do you think I beg richer people to send donations to KD? Besides, if you haven't noticed yet, people with very little control over what's happening in their lives like to take control over other people's lives and the church is a breeding ground for that kinda stuff. So if they're ticked off about something, they just transfer it to your husband and family. That's why we've got so many of those proverbial PKs who hate the church after seeing what it did to their parents. Truly, I will pray some kinda financial relief for you through the mercy of some saints who must still remain in your church.

From that same pastor in Virginia: "Did you say you had a 'joint' meeting of officers on Monday?"

From a very, very, very bright guy in our family of faith who shares the gift of sarcasm: "I gained insight today from a KD: 'Those symbols [@#$%] are not intended as profanities but as profundities. That helps me. What I thought all of my life as shortcomings of mine have really been moments of great insight."



Getting back to Christmas gifts,


Blessings and Love!

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