Sunday, December 21, 2008

December 21, 2008

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)


Driving into church much earlier to make sure the temperature in the sanctuary satisfies no one for our annual joint service featuring our Doves (i.e., children's choir), it was -5 degrees; but I am feelin' much hotter now.

Finishing my Christmas shopping on Friday and heading home from a few hospital visits, my Caliber, which I can now buy brand new for less than I owe after nearly 40,000 miles, started riding roughly; so I showed up at my favorite local Chrysler dealership and service center at 7:15 a.m. on Saturday.

The good news is it was just some ice caught somewhere that was causing the rough ride.

The bad news is my chrome pony fund now stands at -$998.35: $157.34 already laid out for replacing spark plugs and "setting everything back to factory specifications" - Whatever the heaven that means! - and new tires - "Hey, buddy, these tires are balder than you! Ha! Ha! Ha!" - on Monday or Tuesday or...

Ho! Ho! Ho!


O.K., Bobby, get with Him:


I'd like to thank a continuing subscriber in North Carolina for the preceding return to the reason for all seasons.


Speaking of seasonal specials, California's Senator Diane Feinstein, Chairwoman of the Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies, announced the program for the 56th Presidential Inauguration on the West Front of the U.S. Capitol on 1/20/09.


Here's the liturgy with a few italicized KD inspirations/indigestions:

Musical Selections by the United States Marine Band as over
50% of America cross their hearts while less than 50%
cross their fingers.

Musical Selections by the San Francisco Boys Chorus and
the San Francisco Girls Chorus which begs a joke or two
but now's not the time.

Call to Worship - I mean Order - and Welcoming Remarks
by Senator Feinstein.

Invocation by Fuller D.Min. Rick Warren; and while Jesse and
Jeremiah are still hotter than I was at 4:28 a.m. and MSNBC's
aspiring Pennsylvania Senator Chris Matthews says Jeremiah
is "way left" and Saddleback's pudgy pastor is "way right," I'm
wondering with that Calvinist club if he's gonna pray in Jesus'
name or just do a promo for February's simulcast of his
forthcoming book on The Purpose of the Presidency. You
gotta believe in tune viewers are gonna count how many times
he says purpose like visiting mainliners to our family of faith
count how many times I say Jesus.

Musical Selection by Aretha Franklin which reminds me that
I love to sing "A Natural Woman" unless I'm around my
homophobic peers or gay friends. Anyway, I wonder what
she'll sing. If it's a tribute to PBHO's non-connections in
Chicago, it could be "Chain of Fools" or "Who's Zoomin'
Who?" But if she stays with the, uh, purpose, I'm thinkin'
it'll be more like "Dr. Feelgood" or "Mr. Bigstuff" or
"I Never Loved a Man Like..."

Oath of Office Administered to VP Joe Biden as Scranton
throws coal at the tube and the rest of America kneels
in prayer for PBHO's health.

Musical Selections by some Classical Types which
____ off the hip-hoppers.

Oath of Office Administered to PBHO accompanied
by a releasing of doves by

Inaugural Address which will say nothing eloquently.

Poem but not by Frost.

Benediction by The Rev. Dr. Joseph E. Lowery who has
paid enough dues to elude sarcasm.

The National Anthem by The United States Navy Band
Sea Chanters with words escaping a lot of those non-
connections back in Chicago.


Staying on politics for another moment, Al Franken has stolen - I mean taken - I mean seized - I mean forged into - I mean assumed - I mean, uh, geez, I dunno - the lead in the Minnesota Senate race.


That proves American politics are certifiably a joke.


Speaking of jokes, Caroline Kennedy really wants to carpetbag her way to NY's Senate seat to succeed carpetbagging Hillary Clinton.


That proves Americans are really like formerly Great Britain's subjects who like royal families in pseudo-charge of stuff: Kennedys, Bushes, Clintons...

But not to worry, while she has no political experience at all and no opinions on anything except being for same-sex nuptials which is actually the most important issue in the world as well as mainline denominations, sweet Caroline has not voted in so many elections, including at least one race for the job she covets (1994), that she just may be incompetent enough to fit right in with the current cast in D.C.

Her spokesman Stefan Friedman: "Caroline Kennedy [Hey! Hey! Hey! What about her legal last name? Is she gonna drop it for political reasons? Say it isn't so!] recognizes just how important it is to vote and has a very strong record of going to the polls...She has not voted on a handful of occasions over the last two decades."

Yeah, she fits in quite well.


Help us, Jesus!



Blessings and Love!

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