Except for Marilyn who was in her third year of fifth grade when we nestled in the needles under the big pine tree near the library just off Main Street in Nanticoke or maybe Jill who told my parents she was gonna marry me in kindergarten or maybe Donna M who exchanged penny candy for kisses in the cloakroom of Lincoln Elementary in fourth grade or maybe Donna D who was really, really, really hot in the alley behind Granteed's Gas Station where I first learned to change the oil and filter every three thousand, I'd have to say Ruthie was my first, uh, whatever.
She was a cheerleader.
She dumped me for Joe who was the star quarterback for Kingston's Central Catholic before being the star quarterback for New Mexico State before playing quarterback for the New York Giants where he will be forever famous for the "Miracle in the Meadowlands" while playing the Eagles on November 19, 1978.
We, uh, got together again when I was a sophomore in college and she was in nursing school.
I asked if she had dated a lot since being dumped by Joe and she stuttered.
When I asked, uh, how many guys she'd been with since then, she stuttered.
After that weekend, she sent a note saying she and her mom went looking for china.
I never answered; and never was, uh, with her again.
Have you ever noticed how the Bible compares His relationship with us in such romantic verse(s)?
He's usually sad because, uh, we're always whoring around; and there's a great updated version of the Hosea/Gomer/Him/us metaphor in Frederick Buechner's Peculiar Treasures. The whole book is great; but the "Gomer" entry is my favorite. That's a lame choice of words.
Anyway, the Bible is big on Him being the husband and us being the wife and us, well, uh,...it makes me think of Ruthie.
Hey! Hey! Hey!
KD was just reviewed by a national publication:
On a lighter note [What?]...Dr. Robert R. Kopp...has a new
website. It is www.koppdisclosure.com. The website was
launched due to the tremendous interest nationally and even
internationally in a series of writings called Kopp Disclosure(s).
The writings express Bob's insights and reflections on a wide
range of topics, but particularly church, national, and cultural
events. The KDs are insightful, funny, challenging,
occasionally confusing, and sometimes downright
irritating (Did my wife write this?] but always honest and
VERY thought-provoking. Bob's love for Jesus and the
church come through clearly [...despite what the franchise's
thought police think as they conspire to silence me]. I commend
Bob's website to you. Read those KDs. I can guarantee
that you will NEVER be bored!
That's the nicest disclaimer that I've ever seen.
Speaking of irritating, a former PCUSAer wrote about this edition's predecessor: "I've been gone from PCUSA involvement for decades now. I don't like to leave anyone associated with such corruption within arm's reach of my financial support. PCUSA is a tragedy, like a fine new Saville Row suit fitted onto a rotting corpse. I've long-since written it off as a bad investment, wiped my hands and moved on. It's simpler than trying to figure out good/guy/bad/guy..."
Staying on the metaphor, a friend recommended Gerald L. Sittser's Water from a Deep Well to me and it's really good and I recommend it to you. It's about turning our trickles into His rivers of living water.
Moretheless, there are several sentences which kinda fit into this metaphor in a KD kinda eisegetical way which our lefty subscribers can, uh, dig because they do it so regularly with Holy Scripture; but I've left some blanks in the text where you can plug in the name of your favorite mainline abomination:
Simply being Christian posed a peculiar kind of threat
to _____. Christians were martyred because they would
not bow the knee to _____, sacrifice to the _____ as a
god and treat the _____ as if it had ultimate authority.
Forced to choose between Jesus and _____, Christians
for the most part chose Jesus, confessing Him as Lord.
In nearly every one of the early accounts of martyrdom,
this conflict between Christianity and _____ surfaces
as a major issue. Christian belief had public
consequences; Christian practice challenged _____'s
quest for dominance. Christianity made claims that
threatened the ____. Such conviction was bound to
There is one final reason why _____ persecuted
Christianity...The early Christians viewed their faith as
ultimately and exclusively true, which threatened the
popular pluralism of the day...Pagans assumed that
religious truth was by nature ambiguous and obscure,
and thus best left open to debate...
In the end, therefore, the Christian belief in Jesus as
Savior and Lord caused the greatest offense...The
Christian confession that Jesus is Lord simply flew
in the face of _____'s pluralism and tolerance. It also
infuriated the intellectual elite, who understood Christianity
well enough to recognize that it would not fit comfortably,
if at all, into _____ culture.
Dang, there are some really smart believers out there!
Ah, forget it.
I'll, uh, try: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTgLQgpwRvQ.
Blessings and Love!
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