Monday, January 5, 2009

January 5, 2009

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)


Blago's lawyer E.G. who could be the reincarnation of O.J.'s J.C. has explained his client's "alleged" scheme to sell PBHO's Senate seat as "unfortunate talk."


That could come in handy if it, uh, works; like, you know, if somebody asks me - Oh, how did he put it? - "what the meaning of 'is' is."

Being a mainline clergyman who isn't supposed to believe anything but who can talk about nothing eloquently, I'm always looking for a way to escape culpability for saying something I really wanted to say but didn't mean to say after discovering it was gettin' me into trouble for saying it because I took those really neat speech classes in seminary which were long on form but short on content because we like our clergy to look good even if we don't have a dang thing worth saying.

Or something like that.



A really nice lady with some really wacky ideas wrote, "I am concerned that you are having too much influence in our denomination through your many writings."


If I were that influential, I'd have a chrome pony by now; though someone did leave an envelope in the offering last Sunday with a dollar for my motorcycle fund.

I'm up to $25.45.



A really nice lady with other folks from what I've heard also wrote, "I wish you'd just shut up and stop trying to turn people into Bible-idolizing fundamentalists and Jesus fanatics!"


Listen, honey, I've got about as much influence in our sociopoliticoreligio culture as a Republican trying to convince a Democrat in the Big Apple that Caroline ain't qualified to be assistant secretary for the Junior League in Kansas City's Plaza District.


Speaking of influence, the lefties are tryin' to take over our ecclesiastical franchise - our particular franchise (PCUSA) is as messed up as any other mainliner and just about all of our problems are mirrored in theirs except for still having tons of $ in the bank which is why we haven't totally disintegrated yet - again through another vote to make our ordination standards look like a casting call in San Francisco's Castro District.

The vote will fail; but it doesn't matter because the lefties are winning by judicial legislation and constitutional defiance.

With self-perpetuating bureaucracies dominated by lefties and accountable to no one but themselves in reality, it's gonna take something apocalyptic to recapture 'em for the Jesus of the Bible.



Pausing for an apocalyptic parenthesis, how can Florida or Oklahoma pretend to be playing for a national championship when Utah rolled over the Crimson Tide in the Sugar Bowl?

Utah is the only undefeated team left in D1; and, again, stomped Alabama which had been ranked #1 over Florida and Oklahoma for most of 2008.

While I'm not a big fan of the Mormons, it's just not right.

The Utes must feel like their neighbor in New Mexico who had to resign from PBHO's cabinet before going through the confirmation process.

The Gators and Sooners must feel like PBHO; thanking God that there ain't any dots connecting them to any kinda legal not to mention moral corruption.


Getting back to influence, the few evangelicals left in our franchise - again, other mainliners can empathize while "others" can sympathize or, uh, laugh - are meeting all over the place to stop the spread of apostasy which has become as inextricably woven into the fabric of our denominational culture as imbecility in the management of the Dallas Cowboys.

Personally, I'm not into it anymore for three reasons: (1) most mainline pulpiteers and pewsitters act/are ignorant or apathetic; (2) the ignorant and apathetic are like the accommodating and darkly conspiring who shoot, scorn, and slaughter simple saints who still love Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture; and (3) I've got better things to do like ride my chrome pony which I don't have yet or play at Pebble where I've not been invited/bankrolled.

Seriously, as if the preceding were not, anyone who thinks the lefties haven't seized control of mainline denominations is as deluded as folks who think those dots in Chicago can't be connected to you know who.


Getting back to influence, it shouldn't be confused with good or bad or length of stay or anything else; for some folks are just really, really, really, uh, uh, uh, influential.

For example, I'm into my 4th year of life and ministry in our family of faith; and I'd gauge my influence on the short side of some to none.

Be that as it seems to be, I don't feel too bad about it because the most influential pastor in the history of our family of faith may have had the shortest stay; indeed, I don't hear much about the guys who were here for a few or ten or twenty or even thirty years.

It's hard to feel put out or put upon when pastors who served a lot longer than I have seem to warrant such minimal regard.

Truthfully, I don't hear hardly anything about anyone else other than one of the interims who was here for less than a year between the last two officially installed pastors.

He continues to be everybody's most liked and disliked pastor of all time; kinda like the Howard Cosell of our family of faith.

While the Calvinist in me knows he wasn't as bad as those who continue to demonize him claim or as good as those who continue to lionize him herald, people left because of him, came because of him, left when he left, left when I came because I wasn't like him, and so on.

I may be wrong - and I don't think so or I wouldn't mention it - but I'm convinced our family of faith will never move too far ahead as long as we talk more about him than Him.

My sense is churches become a part of the Church when He alone is the focus of attention and filter for activities.

My sense is churches become a part of the Church when He alone captures absolute affection and allegiance.


Getting back to the really nice lady with other folks from what I've heard, I asked if her roots went back to the Teutonic forests after saying, "Thanks for sharing that."

She didn't get the latter and didn't stop after the former: "I just hate people like you who keep telling me that I'd be so much happier and this world would be so much better if I had a personal relationship with Jesus as Lord and Savior! How do you know I don't? And do you really think that all we need is Jesus to solve all of our problems? Are you that naive?"

Reeling in my mind from the 12th at Pebble after biking along Route 1 near Big Sur, which prevented me from bursting into laughter, I said, "Uh, yeah."



Sometimes it's better to talk to God about some people than to talk to some people about God.

Sometimes it's better to remember we sow and He saves.

Sometimes it's better to give up.


Blessings and Love!

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