Friday, February 27, 2009

February 27, 2009

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

Dr. Macleod went home to Jesus not too long ago (scroll way down into the archives for KD's tribute).

Aside from being the advisor for my dissertation, he said lots of stuff that's hung with me.

When his publisher wanted him to change the title of Presbyterian Worship: Its Meaning and Method, which is one of the finer explanations of Reformed rubrics, rituals, rites, and ceremonies, to attract a larger audience (aka more sales), he declined because he was more into precision than prostitution; unlike me who listened to my publisher and changed Fifteen Theses for Life and Ministry to the gnostic-sounding Fifteen Secrets for Life and Ministry which did about as much for my sales as plastic surgery did for Michael Jackson's career.

Anyway, he also said, "One of the most inane utterances in worship occurs when the pandering pastor introduces the collect thusly, 'Shall we pray?'" Then he'd say so sternly, "As if the congregation is going to vote on it!"

He also had problems with pastors who introduce the Bible lesson, uh, thusly: "Listen for the Word of God." He'd say, "The Bible is the inspired and recorded Word of God. You don't 'listen for' the Word of God as if you can pick and choose which parts are indeed the Word of God!' It is the Word of God; which is why it is best introduced simply, 'Hear the Word of God!'"

He inspired Ernie Campbell to write, "The Bible is bigger than your favorite parts."

Getting back to his not my best-selling book, here's a line about Lent that has really shaped my understanding of a major misunderstanding about the season: "Lent consists in doing something, not in merely doing without something."

I always get a Big Mac Attack when I lead or participate in the bastardizations of Reformed liturgics.

If you'd like to know more about truly Reformed and Protestant liturgics, go to the right column where Kathie will feature Dr. Macleod's book if it's still available (new or used) via Amazon; or you can have my other copy for a gift certificate of significant value to any HD dealership within 50 miles of Belvidere, Illinois.

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Speaking of Lent, our family of faith opened the season on Ash Wednesday (2/25/09) - Duh! - with a major musical blow-out featuring our chancel choir, bell choirs, youth choir, youth praise team, and, uh, adult praise team.

A comment: "What a blessing! Last night's concert was terrific. I think everyone enjoyed the music along with Bible lessons and prayers woven into the service. The entire evening was a great way to usher in the Lenten season. God richly blessed all of us with the power of His presence last night!"

Yep.

The sanctuary was packed.

We experienced the promise through the Psalmist: "God inhabits the praises of His people!"

Even people who assume - remembering what it means to assume which is particularly appropriate in this context - "their" musical preferences/prejudices are more holy than, uh, theirs, had to admit the apostle was right about those varieties and diversities that extol Him and ennoble His while enabling intimacy with Him/His when He is Lord of it all.

If it were not for trying to build three packed worship services every Sunday and pandering to those musical preferences/prejudices, I'd hold one big blow-out worship service every Sunday in a format like we had on Ash Wednesday even if it meant worshipping - Gasp! - for over an hour or so.

I'd wrap Christian education and fellowship around it too!

But, alas, it ain't gonna happen.

Everybody's got their turf to protect at the expense of...

@#$%

Speaking of idolatries, here's a seasonal favorite distracting attention from the reason for the season(s):

.

@#$%

Psst.

Now that he's home with Jesus, I will tell you a secret about my previously mentioned professor.

After he retired, he'd often sneak off on Sunday nights to a Pentecostal worship service.

I accompanied him on several occasions.

Because it was so out of his well-established caricature, I asked why he did that.

He said, "There are times when even Presbyterians need more passion than precision."

@#$%

Staying with idolatries a little longer because we tend to do that, Senator Robert Byrd, the longest-serving Democrat in the Senate from West Virginia by way of the KKK, is criticizing PBHO's appointment of White House "czars" to, uh, "oversee" federal policy; accusing America's most admired man - Yep! Jesus is now in second place to PBHO in the latest Harris Poll as reported by KD on 2/23/09! - of a power grab unlike any other President since, uh, his predecessor.

He wrote a letter to PBHO about it; saying these new executive positions amount to a power grab that "can threaten the Constitutional system of checks and balances. At the worst, White House staff have taken direction and control of programmatic areas that are the statutory responsibility of Senate-confirmed officials...As Presidential assistants and advisors, these White House staffers are not accountable for their actions to the Congress, to cabinet officials, and to virtually anyone but the President...They rarely testify before Congressional committees, and often shield the information and decision-making process behind the assertion of executive privilege. In too many instances, White House staff have been allowed to inhibit openness and transparency, and reduce accountability."

John 3:19-21 comes to mind.

@#$%

Click here to read and see more on Byrd/PBHO!

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Getting back to Dr. Macleod, here's one of his best comments/condemnations which occurred in our liturgics class just moments after I preached in Princeton's Miller Chapel: "If you have the privilege to enter a pulpit and speak on the Lord's behalf to people who need to hear His Word, you should have something to say."

I was sitting up front as he stared at me.

Some things stay with you; even if they cause a collision with today's preferences/prejudices (aka idolatries).

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

You're missing
so much
if you're not
clicking on
www.koppdisclosure.com

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

February 25, 2009

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

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@#$%

I cut off a lot of my beard; but left some around the mouth for three reasons: I can't grow it on top without looking like Moe and Curly's friend Larry and I haven't exposed my whole head for nearly 40 years and I want to be reminded to say some hairy things to expose our sociopoliticoreligioeconomic culture's spiritual baldness.

Fortunately, only one church lady noticed: "I'm not sure I like you without a full beard."

Moi: "I'm not sure I forgot to ask your permission."

@#$%

I don't allow my birthday to be listed in any of our church's literature.

While it may come as a surprise to people who hate me, some people would like to know when I was born to celebrate with whomever wants to...

Unlike some Methodists who are more Arminian than James Arminius and some Presbyterians who are more Calvinistic than John Calvin and some Lutherans who are more Lutheran than Martin Luther in total disobedience to Exodus 20:3 - Like latter day sycophants who talk more about PBHO, RW, JO, and others than they talk about Jesus! Count the times and you'll understand the recent Harris poll reported by KD on 2/23/09! - I understand the difference between horizontal relationships and the vertical one.

Yeah, The Rev. Harold F. Mante and a few others will always have a special place in my heart as mentors; but I never idolized 'em and I do everything as obnoxiously Christocentric as possible to...

@#$%

Pearl helped.

She made an appointment with me about 25 years ago: "I don't like your beard..."

Instead of saying how much I disliked her perfume that could drop a bull at 50 paces or dress that must have been designed in the Stone Age or that I never knew blue was a hair color, I responded like a typical protect-your-pension-credits young weenie cleric: "I hear you saying you don't like my beard..."

Eventually, we got around to her pathology being transferred to me - Feed me, Seymour! - about how her son had a beard and how she and her son hadn't spoken in years and how my beard reminded her of her problems and how life would be so much better for her if I shaved it off and yah-da, yah-da, yah-da...

I shaved it off.

Weenie.

My bite has never been as tough as my bark.

Anyway, when she approached me after the following week's worship service, I expected appreciation, affirmation, and affection.

She said, "Now about your moustache."

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@#$%

I'm juggling time right now; because the pastoral care needs of the church/community/RV[J]TF/etc. have gone off the charts quicker than stock in GE.

I was called out late last night to the hospital for a friend who had a heart attack; and as I drove back a few hours ago, the important from incidental was easy to distinguish.

I just don't have time to suffer fools gladly.

I just don't have time to joust with theologians counting the number of angels on a pinhead.

I just don't have time for folks who act out what they don't believe: "I know that's what Jesus and the Bible say, but I think..."

But I have all of the time entrusted to me by Him for folks who have real issues requiring the only real answer: Jesus.

@#$%

Speaking of Jesus, PBHO is not His second advent; though that Harris poll...

And how about last night's Presidential Address to Congress?

Aside from Scrantonite (Not!) VP JB and ants-in-her-pants-or-idol-in-her-soul-cheerleading Speaker NP (How about that pea green outfit that reminded me of Linda Blair in The Exorcist? Get it?) standing behind PBHO as the succession of power in America which prompted billions of people around the world to pray for PBHO's health, it was, uh, messianic as PBHO pledged to cure all ills from health care to herpes while being interrupted 65 times by gleeful gloating, goading, and glorifying.

Yep, it's as PBHO said not too long ago, "We are no longer a Christian nation."

Didn't he sound kinda, uh, gleeful, goading, and glorifying when he said that?

Hmm.

It's hard not to think things are gettin' Left Behind funky when listening to PBHO talk about a "reimagined" America and world like he did last night.

Where have I heard that before?

No, it can't be...

@#$%

Now go to the website
(click on www.koppdisclosure.com)
or you'll miss
an appropriate caricature
that Kathie has posted
right here from Rex
who is the Baptist
pastor in town.
Psst.
I send all of the people
who hate me to
his church!


@#$%

I did like how PBHO said, "Every American loves this country and wants it to succeed."

Amen!

We want change!

We need hope!

Romans 12:1-2.

Ecclesia reformata, semper reformanda secundum verbum Dei!!!

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@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Really!
Click on
www.koppdisclosure.com
Rex's cartoon is cool
if not
apocalyptic!

Monday, February 23, 2009

February 23, 2009

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

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@#$%

Breaking the 10th of the Decalogue at Kegel's in Rockford last week (local Harley-Davidson dealership) while wearing wrap-around shades, leather jacket, Yankees baseball hat, and sneakers, a fine young thing began to flirt with me.

I thought it was pretty cool; until she asked what I do for a living.

She mocked at discovery: "You don't look like a preacher!"

I said, "Thank you so much."

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@#$%

William Jennings Bryan: "I would have become a preacher if so many of them did not look like undertakers."

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Professor RRK to homiletical students: "If you feel you're called to be boring, you're not called to preach. If you're not psyched about Jesus, you ain't gonna psyche up anyone else for Him. There's a deeper problem with folks who get into the pulpit without passion. You can't give away what you ain't got for yourself."

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@#$%

I'm so weary of fainthearted clergy in mainline denominations who abandon Him to get along with the man.

You know what I mean: "I won't stick up for Jesus and Biblical faith/morality if it means the higher ups will blackball me when I want to relocate."

C'mon, be honest!

You know the game.

A perfect example is the equivocating spinelessness of mainliners who don't look up, stand up, speak up, and act up for Jesus and the littlest of His children.

I'm reminded of the PK who sat in his daddy's study and listened as the "pastor" told a pro-lifer that she is right and then told a pro-choicer that she is right. "Daddy," the boy said, "They both can't be right!" Daddy's response: "You're right!"

Mainliners hide behind the weakest rationalizing ideologies masquerading as theologies to keep the man happy even if it's at the expense of Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture.

Pile up those pension credits!

Go back and click on the link above: "A child shall lead them..."

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@#$%

Venus Williams won her 40th singles title in the Dubai Tennis Championship over the weekend.

That's the tournament run by ragheads that denied the Jewish player's participation as reported by KD (2/18/09).

While picking up her handsome check for winning, she said, "I thought it was brave of her to come here and try and play despite knowing that it is not going to be easy for her...So I felt I had a small opportunity to say something where everyone will listen."

Andy Roddick has refused to play in Dubai this week because the Jewish player didn't last week.

He won't be cashing a check next week.

How much is your soul worth to you?

Go back to the previous section and accompanying links.

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From the I-toldah-so file (Exodus 20:3), a new Harris poll was released over the weekend, uh, disclosing PBHO is now more admired than Jesus in America.

Top ten: PBHO, Jesus, Martin Luther King, Jr., Ronald Reagan, GWB, Abraham Lincoln, John McCain, JFK, Chesley Sullenberger, and Mother Teresa.

In a related story, ABC Nightline co-anchor Terry Moran on 2/20/09: "PBHO is the first President since George Washington to be taking a step down into the Oval Office...I mean, from visionary leader of a giant movement, now he's got an executive position that he hast to perform in, in a way...Now, he's got a job."

Say what?

Where is Ted when we need him?

@#$%

Mail Time!

Dad: "Timlin is not the Bishop anymore. It's Martino. Timlin was replaced about 5 years ago."

Oops.

Illinois: "I just wanted to let you know your 2/18/09 KD was a real 'spice and sparkler' for me...I like your KDs because you don't spoon-feed me. You make me think. It is a shame most people would rather not think these days."

Thanks, dude! I've noticed lots of religionists want people to goose-step to their barks. I really don't care if people agree with me or not. It's not about me. And if you have to guess who it's about, you're probably a mainliner.

West Virginia: "Like every tax bill, the only thing anybody really cares about in this stimulus package is whether their favorite project is in it...They're all betting on what Senator Schumer said in a lapse of candor: 'Nobody cares.'"

There's a saying out here about Chicago politicians: "Their brains and buttocks are interchangeable!" Same's true for D.C. Here's a guess from my hope chest. If the stimulus package succeeds, then Terry Moran's idolatry will be universal. If not, you may be the next new Senator from WV!

California: "During the Bush-Kerry election, my five year old said, 'I can't vote for John Kerry because he wants to kill babies.'"

Out of the mouth... Go back and show the link from another of His babies to your baby. Too bad mainline clergy have lost their, uh, childlikeness.

Some forwarded quotes from New Jersey:

Mark Twain: "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose
you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat
myself."

George Bernard Shaw: "A government which robs
Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the
support of Paul."

P.J. O'Rourke: "Giving money and power to
government is like giving whiskey and car
keys to teenage boys."

Anonymous: "Talk is cheap...except when
Congress does it."

Ronald Reagan: "The government is like a
baby's alimentary canal, with a happy
appetite at one end and no responsibility
at the other."

Thomas Jefferson: "A government big enough
to give you everything you want is strong
enough to take everything you have."

Edward Langley: "What this country needs
are more unemployed politicians."

Amen.

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John David Burton went home to Jesus a few years ago.

He remains my favorite poet; and my favorite collection is Naked in the Street which Kathie will make available for you in the right column.

He was a professor and pastor who said, "Years of school prompt my distrust of and disinterest in the academic."

He also confessed, "Some readers may see an inconsistency in my clergy vocation and what is written on these pages...My fantasy is that what I write, as part of what I do, may prompt us to be real, true in the sense implied by the centurion, Caesar's man at God's event or, perhaps God's man at Caesar's event."

Go back and start over.

@#$%



@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Friday, February 20, 2009

February 20, 2009

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

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I don't get the stimulus package.

CNN's Jack Cafferty: "What a joke. Your Congress has voted to spend almost $790 billion of your money on a stimulus package that not a single member of either chamber has read...Democrats promised to post the bill a full 48 hours before the vote was taken to allow members of the public to see what they were getting for their money...It didn't happen...Congress lying to the American people has become part of their job description...Obama better step up his game, or it's going to be a short four years in office."

Frankenstein comes to mind - the Mel Brooks version.

How do you stimulate dead tissue?

A friend likes to say, "If the horse is dead, dismount."

@#$%

The only President with a higher approval rating than PBHO at a parallel moment in his first, uh, and only term was Jimmy Carter.

@#$%

I like PBHO a lot more than my friends on the right and a lot less than my friends on the left.

His rhetoric and administration coincide about as much as mainline denominations and Holy Scripture; but, geez, it's only been a little over a month.

Is he that bad or that good already?

Talk about instant gratification needs.

@#$%

Speaking of instant gratification needs, I've got a few.

I'll bet in a Christian kinda way that there are lots like me in America; just aching for a chance to stimulate the economy by satisfying some of those needs.

I'm gonna write to him:

Dear PBHO,

I didn't vote for you; but the other guy has been acting so
loony since you were elected that I'm kinda glad you beat
him.

Actually, I did vote for you in the Illinois primary because
I was afraid what's-her-name was gonna win and, well, I'm not
sure she coulda handled things any better than you are or
even the Arizona guy could because, well, uh, she couldn't
even keep her husband from getting caught with his pants
down in the office that you're now occupying. Geez. My
wife controls me a lot better than she controls hers. Hmm.
Maybe my wife should be President because she knows
what to do with guys like me who take John Eldredge's
Wild at Heart to, uh, heart.

By the way, you can order that book by going to the
right column of www.koppdisclosure.com; but, uh,
don't scroll down too far because there are some
uncomfortable comments that I've made about
you being the real American idol.

If you do read what I've written about you that more
than suggests you're not Jesus, just ignore me like
the guy who took your seat in the Senate ignored
the truth to get, uh, your seat in the Senate.

Anyway, I hear you're giving out lots of money to
people who squandered lots of money already; and,
well, uh, I fall into that category too!

I still owe about 19K in old plastic bills and I still
need about 9K to buy a mule; and, c'mon, if you
can bail-out terminal businesses or slip some
big Ks to CEOs and banks and folks who
got NINJA loans - No Income! No Job!
No assets! - I think I qualify too!

And I promise to stimulate the economy
less than 24 hours after you bail me out.

Look, I've been praying almost every day
and most Sundays for your success
according to the Word as enfleshed in Jesus
and explained in the Bible. O.K. I know
you're not especially into that stuff; but you
like me need all the help that's out/in/up
there!

I'll throw in a promise to tell folks that
you are the only politician from Chicago
who isn't corrupt and that your Attorney
General and that guy who closed your
inauguration in prayer aren't race-baiters
and that everybody cheats on taxes just
like all of those guys in your administration
and lots of other stuff to prove I will sell
my soul for you.

And, yes, I thought that cartoon was awful.
Unlike Sarah Palin who isn't as hot as I
think or as stupid as the MSM says and
deserves to be caricatured, you are above
criticism because you're, uh, who/whatever
you are.

Somebody just told me that we can't
find your birth certificate because you're
not of this world; and I want you to know
that I don't care if you were born in Kenya
or Krypton because you could set the
precedent for Arnold next time.

Please disregard the last clause in the
preceding paragraph.

Adoringly & Insincerely,
KD

Do you think I've got a chance?

@#$%

Staying on the theme of instant gratification needs, Nancy Pelosi had a date with Pope Benedict XVI last Wednesday.

She's an abortionist and, uh, not especially nice: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXDaaGeK_KE&feature=related.

He's, uh, not.

He says Catholic - I think he'd include members of other Christian franchises - politicians must protect life "at all stages of development" from womb to tomb.

Bishop Timlin of Scranton, which is not VP JB's home, just said pro-choice Catholic politicians - I don't think he'd include members of other Christian franchises on this one but it's still worth googling his name for more stuff on this zealot - should be fenced from the sacrament.

Mainliners are doubleminded on this just like that.

@#$%

Press Secretary Michael Ortiz said this about PBHO when he was still Senator BHO (10/22/08): "Senator Obama does not support reimposing the Fairness Doctrine...He considers this debate to be a distraction from the conversation we should be having about opening up the airwaves and modern communications to as many diverse viewpoints as possible...That is why BHO supports media-ownership caps, network neutrality, public broadcasting, as well as increasing minority ownership of broadcasting and print outlets."

Say what?

Watch out for that disconnect between rhetoric and administration.

Do you think PBHO's successor in the Senate has anything in common with his predecessor in the Senate?

We'll see.

Help us, Jesus!

@#$%

Despite an elder who just wrote to urge an updating of my organ donor card and said she's hoping not to have to serve on a Pastor Nominating Committee any time soon, I just applied for a grant:

Friends,

I appreciate the opportunity to apply for a grant through
your Clergy Renewal Program.

After over 30 years as a pastor, professor, police
chaplain, and President of Rock Valley [Junior]
Tackle Football without a sabbatical and,
currently, praying and laboring in a turn-around
congregation without a day off since family
vacation in 2007, I'm up for some renewal!

My proposal evolves as a complementary
volume to previously published Golf in the
Real Kingdom [buy from this website now]
which was a response to Michael Murphy's
spaghetti-headed spirituality in Golf in the
Kingdom; while noting Murphy is out-selling
me by about three million to ten.

Anyway, my proposal is to ride my motorcycle
[uh, my eventual chrome pony] and spend
a month traveling across America to research
and write a response to Robert Pirsig's Zen and
the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. The title
will be Jesus and the Art of Motorcycle
Maintenance.

Parenthetically, I need you to fund the
trip after I get the mule that nobody
has helped get into my barn.

While I may be submitting this application
too late for 2009, I'm not in a rush and can wait
a year or two; but counting time in the womb
which I do because God does no matter what
Pelosi says, I'm turning 57 in a few weeks and...

Shamelessly Begging,
KD

Do you think I've got a chance?

@#$%

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWYeNlHXk9U

@#$%

I think my grant application's chances parallel those of the stimulus package.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

February 18, 2009

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

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I was president of a cinema club in college; meaning I got lots of free passes for flicks.

It was really helpful back then: "Would you like to go see _____? I'll take care of the tickets. You pay for dinner."

It doesn't work that well anymore.

@#$%

I recommended Eugene H. Peterson's Tell It Slant, which you can order through us thanks to Kathie (right column), on 2/13/09 (scroll down).

Here's a complementary echo to KD: "We need preachers and teachers to keep us focused on God in Christ and alert us to the seductive idolatries that surround us...The first commandment establishes our lives before God in undiluted worship so that we can love Him without compromise. That last commandment protects our friends and neighbors from being depersonalized into objects of greed, things that we can love without loving them. Just as idolatry results in a pollution of our love for God, so covetousness results in a pollution of our love for one another."

My favorite last scene from one of my favorite movies comes to mind: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fKN5VkDAkg.

@#$%

Speaking of idolatry, did you know most members of Congress didn't read PBHO's stimulus package before voting on it?

Geez.

That's like mainliners who preach without opening the Bible.

@#$%

Staying on idolatry, Muslims and their ignorant apologists amaze me; refusing to admit their absolute my-way-or-the-uh-chop-your-head-off-highway weltanschauung.

Here's the latest.

The United Arab Emirates refused a visa to Israeli tennis star Shahar Peer; effectively excluding her from their lucrative Dubai tournament.

Is this just another example of the reconciling spirit of their murderous founder; or just another illustration that ragheads and yarmulke-wearers ain't sittin' down for a fellowship meal until the parousia?

@#$%

Get this!

Representative John Conyers (Michigan) and Senator Patrick Leahy (Vermont) are spearheading efforts to skewer GWB for ethics violations related to, in the words of angry racist Conyers, "excesses in the so-called war on terror."

Help me, Jesus!

While I'm the first to admit GWB's tenure can best be described as crappy - though I voted twice for him because the alternatives were so, uh, really crappy - those two Democrats really have some clanging ones to pick on GWB when their idolatry of PBHO has exempt anybody relating to him from, uh, uh, uh, any kinda scrutiny.

Mark Twain's counsel for the church comes to mind as equally applicable: "The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little by way of example."

@#$%

Getting back to the movies where I really relax if I'm not with Him (poustinia), on the links, ridin' my mule (someday), or having ___, I just saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2171469849/.

I'll probably end up seeing it about as often as I've seen Easy Rider, Amadeus, Platoon, Apocalypse Now, Chariots of Fire, The Big Chill, The Breakfast Club, and Animal House.

All of 'em share a common theme that somebody summed up this way while signing my 8th grade yearbook: "May you live as long as you want to and want to as long as you live."

Benjamin Button: "Your life is defined by its opportunities...even the ones you miss...For what it's worth, it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or worst of it...I hope you live a life you're proud of...If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again...Some people were born to sit by a river. Some get struck by lightning. Some have an ear for music. Some are artists. Some swim. Some know buttons. Some know Shakespeare. Some are mothers. And some people dance."

I wanna dance.

Vrrroooom.

@#$%

Getting back to the last scene from one of my favorite movies, Eric Liddell fought idolatry to his king; which I hope will inspire the same to ours: "God made countries, God makes kings, and the rules by which they govern. And those rules say that the Sabbath is His. And I for one intend to keep it that way."

A few more inspirations from the Scot: "Regrets? Yes. Doubts? No...I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure."

Vrrroooom.

@#$%

Daisy to Benjamin: "Will you sleep with me?"

Benjamin to Daisy: "Absolutely."

Daisy to Benjamin: "Have you slept with a woman before?"

Benjamin to Daisy: "Never on a Sunday."

Vrrroooom.

@#$%

Though the artist's personal life repulses me, especially in joining the other pushers who have destroyed A-Rod's status as American icon, a favorite song comes to mind: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dggpKeZJSQ8.

@#$%

Heard on a morning talk show: "1 in 5 marriages are sexless."

Heard from a friend in Chapel Hill: "The report is married couples have sex twice a week. If it weren't for my marriage, the average would be three times a week."

Same guys: "Do you know why every woman smiles in those newspaper wedding pictures?"

Sorry, their response is too gender-chauvinistic.

Vrrroooom.

@#$%

KD and KDers aren't afraid to talk about anything.

San Diego: "As Ronald Reagan said, 'I did not leave the Democratic Party. It left me.' The leadership of mainline denominations has veered so breathtakingly to the left that the membership from orthodox days has departed or become disinterested. The leftover membership from lukewarm days does what lukewarm people do. The lefties just extract tithes and per capita for a-Biblical purposes..."

Pennsylvania: "Regarding your bean counter narthex tile lady, one of my good elders used to say this about building an all-purpose room in the church: 'The trouble with getting more kids into the church is that they break things.' Another elder said, 'What we need is a bunch of first class funerals.'"

Oklahoma: "The truth is many people don't want the truth; but would rather believe a lie and be damned."

The Illinois/Wisconsin border: "Your beautiful bean counter extolling the shiny floor in the narthex reminded me of the dedication prayer for a beautiful addition to our old country church building: 'Lord, we pray that our new rooms and kitchen and fellowship hall will be used up by the time You return. We pray we're worn out because of Kingdom use.'"

Vrrroooom.

@#$%

Vrrroooom is a metaphor.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

February 15, 2009

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

Football is America's favorite pastime.

Though baseball and basketball have enough fans to keep 'em in business and individual sports are more equitable than team sports because they take deluded parents ("But you can't sit my son because he's the next Walter Payton!"), booster clubs, and coaches playing to school/community/personal politics and prejudices out of the equation, football is the ultimate team sport; requiring interdependence to complement individual ability to reach the common goal of victory.

Oops.

NASCAR is really #1.

Check the ratings.

@#$%

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hGvQtumNAY

@#$%

It's like mainline denominations.

Increasingly insignificant to irrelevant in our sociopoliticoreligioeconomic culture, mainliners have moved to the sidelines of interest/influence.

Parenthetically, I know one particular mainline denomination that claims over 2 million members; but if you checked their attendance and giving records, you'd have a hard time coming up with a million.

Just that one toothy guy in Texas who says nothing as eloquently as PBHO - uh, not really - and that inaugural praying pastor with so much purpose - uh, really - have more fans than the citation in the preceding sentence.

@#$%

I had a wonderful business administrator in a big church when I was a rising ecclesiastical superstar.

She guided me to the narthex on a late Friday afternoon, pointed to the freshly buffed tiles, and said with a mixture of pride and angst, "Isn't that beautiful? It's too bad it will be all scuffed up after Sunday."

She was a bean counter.

Lots of mainliners count beans.

Uh, it's about souls.

@#$%

Speaking of folks who don't get it, there was a "circle" in that same church that spent a lot of money to needlepoint pew cushions.

They were, again, beautiful; depicting Biblical scenes.

After we installed them in the front pews, the president asked us to rope 'em off so nobody could sit on 'em.

@#$%

Staying with the theme of shadowing truths, Illinois Senator Roland Burris has admitted Blago's brother asked for $ before he was appointed by Blago to the Senate.

While it's not really shocking to add another fellah to the Senate who is challenged when it comes to integrity, the, uh, disclosure is at odds with Burris' testimony in January that he never spoke to, uh, Blago's brothers or other "family" members about the seat vacated by you know who.

Fortunately, you know who cannot be connected by any of the dots connecting everybody else but him to the corrupt state of Illinois; especially Chicago.

As of today, Senators Durbin and Reid - who greased the path for Burris to slide/slither into the Senate - and you know who haven't commented.

Forget it, fellahs!

Now is not the time to start telling the truth!

It's all about the economy.

Truth be damned.

Uh, does anybody think truth could have something to say about our economy?

@#$%

Speaking of truth, Muslims are such warm and fuzzy religionists.

Just the other day, the Muslim founder of Bridges TV, a cable network with a slogan about "connecting people through understanding"...[Dang! That sounds familiar!]...dedicated to "improve the image of Muslims in the United States," was arrested (2/12/09) for chopping off the head of his wife.

Call me silly or narrow or just not "correct" enough for our sociopoliticoreligioeconomic culture but don't you think it's time for the MSM and its mainlining co-conspirators to tell the truth about Islam as a blood-curdling religion which is at its worst when it imitates its founder?

And before you spaghetti-headed way-lefters start, you can't blame Jesus for false witnesses to Him.

Jesus would never tell followers to chop off the heads of, uh, anybody.

Mohammad?

C'mon, be honest; or go back to the first link in this KD.

@#$%

Greg Koukl wrote about "The Death of Truth" for www.bethinking.org: "Since the sixties we have been in the throes of this quiet but desperate revolution of thought - the death of truth...the death of what the late Dr. Francis Schaeffer called 'true truth,' the extinction of the idea that any particular thing can be known for sure...The word truth means 'true for me' and nothing more..."

Truth or, uh, consequences: "When truth dies, all of its subspecies, such as ethics, perish with it. If truth can't be known, then the concept of moral truth becomes incoherent. Ethics become relative, right and wrong matters of individual opinion...The death of truth...has created a moral decay in which every debate ends with the barroom question, 'says who?'...

Conclusion: "If we reject truth, why should we be surprised at the moral turbulence that follows? As C.S. Lewis said, 'We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful.'"

Postscript: "This is the chaotic and confusing world of moral relativism, a world made more confusing because moral relativism isn't even moral."

The evangelical remnant in the mainline resonates.

@#$%

I wrote about an injustice in a local school to two friends.

It was forwarded on; reminding me of a beverage coaster that I picked up at Outback Steakhouse and keep in my study: "No worries...and then I accidentally hit Reply All."

The people who allowed the injustice to fester got mad at me and took it out on some children who are close to me.

The "truth" of what I wrote was never disputed and I was never queried.

Instead, lies were fabricated to distract folks from dealing with the truth.

Such is life in a fallen world.

While I'm tempted to become a hyper-determinist, I choose to be involved.

I choose to look up, stand up, speak up, and act up for justice as personified in Jesus and prescribed in Holy Scripture.

I believe only truth liberates in the end and sooner than later.

When I look at our youth choir during their practices every Wednesday evening or see spirits crushed by political and prejudicial adults (see the second paragraph of the first section of this KD) and consider I am going to live longer with Jesus than anybody else, I cannot look the other way or shut up.

In other words, I am drawn into the conflict because of the Matthew 5:13-16 stuff.

Surely, if proven wrong, I will always recant and repent with remorse.

@#$%

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpSdABH_cu4

@#$%

Mail Time!

Pennsylvania: "As per your chrome pony fund, Jesus didn't ride into the city for His crucifixion on a HD. He rode a donkey. Therefore, I am contributing to the hay fund for your next transportation. It's called a bale-out."

Florida: "Ignore your sister and any other naysayers! Continue to shill for the pony! Just make sure your organ donor card is complete!"

Maryland: "Quoting RL in a positive light! Ugh! He should take one of those big fat cigars of his, light it, and stick it where the sun don't shine! I'm more scared of the neo-cons, religious right, and right wingnuts than I am of PBHO. Remember Barry Goldwater's response to Jerry Falwell: 'Every good Christian should kick Jerry Falwell's ass.'"

Oklahoma: "You wrote, 'When Jesus spoke, people were not confused about faith and morality. They were convicted/compelled/converted'...Sinners could not stay in His presence. They either had to leave or get saved!"

Near D.C.: "I took care of the beer thing my first weekend in my first pastorate. We were invited to a block party given by some church members. One said he hoped I wouldn't be offended by the ice chest full of beer. My response was to take one out and pop the top. That took care of that."

KDers are a feisty bunch...truthfully.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Friday, February 13, 2009

February 13, 2009

February 13, 2009
Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

The day after I was installed as pastor of my first church back in 5/77, an older elder confessed and offered, "The pastors before you had me buy beer for them and put it on the back porch of the manse in a brown paper bag so no one would know about it and I'll do the same for you."

I went to the local distributor less than an hour later and bought a case of Bud.

When we came to "new business" at the next deacons meeting, I was told then asked, "We've received reports that you have been seen buying beer in town. Is this true, passsstoooor?"

"Yes," I replied, "I was in line behind the elder who offered to get it for me; but, you know, Jesus wasn't a teetotaler. I was reading about a wedding reception. They ran out of hooch and Jesus restocked 'em with even better stuff. I don't drink a lot since getting really drunk on New Year's Eve during my freshman year in college. Come to think of it, I haven't been able to drink blackberry wine ever since. But, sure, I like a cold beer or glass of wine or even a mixed drink every now and then."

I was never asked about it again.

Dumping your garbage before others dig it up can save so much time/energy/emotions required to keep up pretensions as well as generating some credibility.

@#$%

That's why I kinda like PBHO.

Though I still don't know where he was born or what he's gonna do as if he has any clue himself, he does have moments of candor like when he admitted inhaling and said, "This is no longer a Christian nation."

Unlike a lot of mainline clergy who are so good at concealing their feelings and fidelities/infidelities as some kinda professional security blanket, PBHO is starting to open up since winning the biggest political prize on the planet and generating more trust that he can't be trusted to advance/enhance foundational American values.
@#$%

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5atn-FwfNQM&feature=channel_page

@#$%

Staying with PBHO and his legion who - talk about irony - demonize anyone who doesn't idolize him, his nemesis Rush Limbaugh said this on 12/4/08 at D.C.'s Mayflower Hotel during some get together hosted by Hillsdale College: "But honestly, when we look at auto executives being grilled on TV by liberal members of Congress about their irresponsibility, can we take it seriously? Has anyone ever been as irresponsible with money - and in their case other people's money - than these very same self-righteous members of Congress?"

Sure.

The self-perpetuating bureaucracies of mainline denominations do it all of the time with the tithes, offerings, and voluntary per capita apportionments of faithful women and men who are still deluded enough to think their donations are being used to honor Jesus as prescribed in Holy Scripture.

Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddddd me, Seymour!

@#$%

Al Franken who's gonna be seated as Senator from Minnesota as soon as Norm Coleman's pesky legal challenges are exhausted/ignored owes $70,000 in back taxes, interest, and penalties.

Tim Geithner has no comment.

Is it true that PBHO and his legion favor higher taxes as long as they do not have to pay them?

@#$%

I read William Allen's Nazi Seizure of Power when it came out in 1984. It's the best book that I've ever read - apart from Exodus - on how democratic societies become totalitarian so easily/quickly: idolatries and the "true believers" who advocate/enforce 'em.

I just came across "How Hitler Won Over the German People" by Ian Kershaw on Spiegel Online which was written about a year ago (1/30/08) that complements Allen with some scary observations/prognostications: "'Today Hitler Is All of Germany.' The newspaper headline on 8/4/34...signifying a complete bond between the German people and Hitler...Fuhrer adulation constantly trumpeted by the uniform propaganda of the mass media...Germans were 'believers in the Fuhrer'...consciously directed to creating and building up the 'heroic' image of Hitler as a towering genius...those disapproving were mainly forced into silence...[Fairness Doctrine?]...The 'superman' image of Hitler...there was new direction, energy, and dynamism...[Change!]...And if the image differed from reality, it was the image that left the lasting mark..."

Abraham Lincoln: "How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg."

Now go back to the PBHO quote in the second section of this KD and start connecting the dots.

@#$%

Alarmist?

Some say there's a bear in the woods.

Some say there is no bear in the woods.

Isn't better to be prepared just in case there's a bear in the woods?

@#$%

Mail Time!

Ohio: "You wrote, 'It's kinda sick; but lots of people feel good when other people feel bad which makes 'em feel better about feeling so bad.' As the Russian Wolfhound said to the other inmates in the pound in Lady and the Tramp, 'Miserable creature always looks for more miserable creature. And when he finds one, he is happy.'"

Florida: "I am always soooooo impressed - and a little envious - when you have a positive judicatory experience. I have let go of that particular hope...Truth is I don't care...None of that has anything to do with enabling, countenancing, or even witnessing to the failures of an archaic, unfaithful, process-worshiping distraction from ministry."

North Carolina: "Why do local ministerial meetings feel like Rotary-light?...No mention of God, Jesus, Bible, salvation, atonement, or sanctification. I was sitting with the leaders of the local mainline denominations. It seemed to me that everyone was careful not to mention anything Christian...No wonder the local Bible Chapel that never sends anyone to our meetings has grown so much."

Pennsylvania: "Close to 55, she was dying. The cancer was winning. The hospice's chaplain was Presbyterian. He could have been Methodist or anything else. He said to the family that they need not fear because it didn't matter whether they believe in Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Mohammad, or anyone else because 'god' would take care of everything. The chaplain was a prominent PCUSA pastor; and the best that he could offer was a gratuitous blessing from an unknown god. No wonder no one is attracted to mainline congregations anymore. By the way, the woman's daughter in her early 20's who goes to a non-denominational fellowship that still believes in Jesus and the authority of the Bible took the chaplain to task and asked him if what he said to them is the best that he has to offer. He didn't say anything."

Kansas: "You ask what's wrong with mainline denominations? It's simple. Your clergy are either cowards in the face of a hostile-to-Christianity culture or just so spiritually unprincipled that they can't act on what they never believed."

Florida: "The Fairness Doctrine applied to programming not news...News was exempt...However, I can recall that many local stations were leery of the FD because they were never sure when they were crossing the line...So news talk radio stations that have talk shows - which are not classified as news - are the stations affected...So if the FD comes back, what that means is that a local station that runs Rush Limbaugh would be put in a position to have to offer three hours to a liberal talk host. This presents several problems: (1) There aren't many liberal radio talk show hosts available, which means the conservative one would have to be let go; (2) Most liberal talk shows have no audience which means running a liberal show means no income; and (3) Who defines fairness?"

My favorite newswoman in the South: "As a reporter who has stood at the scene of dozens of motorcycle accidents, I cannot contribute to your chrome pony fund."

My sister: "These are tough times! Buy it yourself!"

Me: Aside from experienced chrome pony jockies generating far fewer accidents than their four-wheeled counterparts, my sister may have found the answer for KD's foes who have been searching for a way to silence moi.

@#$%

And from a caring friend in our family of faith comes a video proving darkness cannot overcome light: http://media.creativepastors.com/mediapreviews/index.php?stream=Upside_Down_MPEG1.

@#$%

Sticking with the theme of clearing/cleaning up the confusions/deceptions which are more conspiratorial than coincidental, a few lines from Eugene H. Peterson's Tell It Slant: "Too often the living word is desiccated into propositional cadavers, then sorted into exegetical specimens in bottles of formaldehyde. We end with godtalk...There is no 'Holy Ghost' language used for matters of God and salvation and then a separate secular language for buying cabbages and cars. 'Give us this day our daily bread' and 'pass the potatoes' come out of the same language pool...There is a lot more to speaking than getting the right words and pronouncing them correctly...I want to tear down the fences that we have erected between language that deals with God and language that deals with the people around us...I want to insist on a continuity of language between the words we use in Bible studies and the words we use when we're out fishing for rainbow trout...Just as Jesus did."

When Jesus spoke, people were not confused about faith and morality. They were convicted/compelled/converted.

Unlike, uh, you know who, Jesus said something soteriologically instead of nothing eloquently.

It's the difference between light and darkness.

That's good to keep in mind in the struggle for our sociopoliticoreligioeconomic culture's soul.

While light discloses to save from darkness, darkness confuses/deceives to detour/distract from light.

@#$%

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=530Hqoamf3Q

Blessings and Love!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

February 11, 2009

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

I was sitting next to a guy who kept saying he's liberal at yesterday's presbytery meeting - a bunch of clergy and others who pretend to be thinking/saying/doing stuff that's worth more than a damn - and, finally, I blurted out, "If you were that far left, I couldn't sit next to you 'cause I wouldn't be able to stop pukin' which is why I don't sit next to..."

Uncaricaturally unstunned by my, uh, right hook, he blurted back, "My wife says the same thing."

My kinda a guy; and not just because he has the cajones to smoke cigars in front of those clergy and others who do their dirty deeds in secret to maintain the masquerade so, uh, vainly.

@#$%

I recall a purported exchange between Freud and Jung.

Jung: "Cigars are phallic."

Freud (while drawing mightily on his): "You're right; but they're also cigars."

Washington monuments, Empire State Building(s), Sears Tower(s), Oscars, American Idol(s), PBHO, chrome ponies, 460cc drivers, ragtops, and inflated church membership rolls come to mind.

@#$%

I've got to make two confessions.

My wife not to mention a former paramour who I helped avoid indictment not to mention church folks who won't repent from not taking care of predecessors/successors because of some predecessors/successors who ripped 'em off and just view their pastors as ecclesiastical hookers to provide a service for less than they deserve but more than they've come to expect until they're spent and then go away never to return not to mention, uh, whomever fits have something in common related to my friend who thinks he's a liberal.

Another birthday will pass without, uh, phallic, uh, uh, uh,...

That's the easy one.

@#$%

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-cdgWaS1nY

@#$%

Here's the, uh, harder, confession.

Monday and Tuesday were highlighted by awfully good, uh, geez, darn, blow-my-cover, don't-wanna-admit-it, uh, meetings with clergy and others.

Our family of faith's leaders met on Monday and it was pret' near theophanous; meaning everybody knew He was in charge. God knows I know I haven't been in many meetings in which everybody embraced His unmistakable will to honor Him and advance the Kingdom. Mark it down. 2/9/09. Transliteration: genethe anothen.

Though apostates tried to convince the wavering as well as ignorant to pass an initiative that would have been anathema to Biblical Christianity as upheld by our constitution so far yet so precariously, yesterday's presbytery meeting was actually, gulpin' hard, geez, darn, blow-my-cover, don't-wanna-admit-it, uh, enjoyable; beginning and ending with long drives to and from the meeting near Biloxi with my boss aka administrative assistant who also happens to be the judicatory's permanent clerk which means I've gotta arrive before the meeting starts and stay to the end (penance), worship that actually honored Jesus for a change, reports that weren't as, uh, phallic as usual, surprisingly competent and fair moderatorial leadership, long lunch with guys who genuinely like each other more than less, a technological malfunction that evoked snickers from many and panic in the souls of the anal, and...

No, I did not drop acid before the meeting.

@#$%

Of course, nothing's perfect.

A quasi-prince of crypto-Scotland - only fans of Braveheart will get this - who has consistently betrayed the brethren cornered me and said so no one else could hear, "You think you're making a difference through your multiple-personality-wise-ass comments and columns and what you write; but if you're so hot, why haven't your constituents ponied up and shut you up with all of your shameless begging?"

Ouch.

I think he really wants to hurt me.

Obviously, he has no idea of what KDs are all about - a metaphorical genre dedicated to tearing down idolatries with no respect for anyone building 'em.

On the other hand, I may make it to my next birthday and...

@#$%

Staying on confessions, my good buddy who is as shameless about the Cubs as I am about, uh, lots of stuff called and asked what I think about the A-Rod revelations; noting he is one of the few folks in my life who doesn't hate the Yankees.

Well, it's always easier to confess after getting caught; though you'd have a hard time proving that with some of PBHO's nominations to public service.

As much as I like to see idols fall so ultimate affection/allegiance is redirected to Jesus who alone is worthy of such unequivocal enthusiasm and enthronement, I feel deep sorrow for him.

Seriously.

Let me explain.

People have a habit of scapegoating other people for sins that aren't really any worse than the ones that haven't been disclosed in them yet (go back to the last sentence of the first section).

People who light fires in the backyards of other people usually do that to distract attention from their own homes/lives that are burning up/down.

It's kinda sick; but lots of people feel good when other people feel bad which makes 'em feel better about feeling so bad.

Or something like that.

@#$%

Subscriber comments about the Fairness Doctrine come to mind.

Illinois: "Let's say they pass it, and local broadcasters will have to present both sides of an issue. Given the MSM bobbing (sic) for PBHO (in the tank), it seems to me that objectivity can no longer be claimed by even local stations. The local news will be bombarded by calls: 'Let's hear the other side, not just the government side.' As usual, Democrats and liberals haven't really thought through this. This might herald the end of national broadcasts by Limbaugh and others; but how many people get all their information there anyway?...Oddly, the one station that probably won't really be affected will be Fox, because, like it or not, they have a lot of liberals on their shows; unlike CBS, NBC, ABC, MSNBC, CNN...The only drawback for conservatives is that they tend to be too busy leading productive lives working and raising their families to really step up and apply the heat to the liberals in charge. That's sort of like things in the PCUSA."

Florida: "I was at a luncheon of aging media moguls in December and it was generally agreed that reinstating the Fairness Doctrine would be next to impossible in today's media climate. FD is a disaster, and I am not saying that they won't try, but if they do, they will really tick off a major segment of the American media. So maybe they will stop kissing up to PBHO...The difficulty is that it could put many AM radio stations off the air, and they are already struggling. When it was in effect years ago, there were only a limited number of stations to regulate. With cable now, it would be impossible to enforce. PBHO has the power to do it without Congress. By the way, the movie Broadcast News was an all too accurate picture of the industry."

@#$%

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poNfXgMDzYw

@#$%

And from somewhere in the Northeast: "Your last KD included this: 'Shepherds don't follow sheep.' True. But they better not fall asleep while guiding the flock!"

Do you think that has anything to do with my awfully good...?

Vrooooooom!

@#$%

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuNj76hzbtk

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Monday, February 9, 2009

February 9, 2009

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

One of my mentors, John Robertson of Belvidere, New Jersey's First Presbyterian Church, always cautioned, "Don't separate yourself from God by degrees."

My favorite poet, not to mention the apostle (1 Corinthians 1), John David Burton often echoed the sentiment: "Years of school prompt my distrust of and disinterest in the academic."

Or as Tony Campolo often said to me if not about me yet surely about mainline clergy, "I just love hearing smart people say stupid things."

Be that as it is, John gave Bernanos' The Diary of a Country Priest to me and said every pastor should read it.

I did and discovered he underlined several sentences - an exchange between an old priest and a young priest:

A parish is bound to be dirty. A whole Christian society's
a lot dirtier. You wait for the Judgment Day and see what
the angels'll be sweeping out of even the most saintly
monasteries...

Our Heavenly Father said mankind was the salt of the
earth, son, not the honey. And our poor world's rather
like old man Job, stretched out in all his filth, covered
with ulcers and sores. Salt stings on an open wound,
but saves you from gangrene...

Next to your idea of wiping out the Devil comes that
other soft notion of being "loved." Loved for your own
sweet selves, of course! A true priest is never loved,
get that into your head...

And if you must know: the Church doesn't care a rap
whether you're loved or not, my lad. Try first to be
respected and obeyed. What the Church needs is
discipline. You've got to set things straight all the
day long. You've got to restore order...

Of course, in today's churches, especially in the mainline, anybody's word is as good as anybody else's word on any subject.

Gifting and the authority attached to it have been replaced by a kind of mobocracy chained to the most recent vote informed by the latest ideological fad.

I remember old Dr. Macleod saying this back in an introductory class on Reformed Liturgy, "I will let a layman preach when I can perform brain surgery at Mt. Sinai Hospital on Layman's Sunday."

Then he told us to check out the etymology of layman and all of its Greek synonyms.

It's apocalyptic; and so offensive to some folks who still haven't contributed to the chrome pony fund that I'm not going to review it because they can check it out for themselves.

Hint.

Shepherds don't follow sheep.

Another hint.

There's a lot about that in the Bible; and when churches finally take some time to study about gifting and the authority attached to it and take Him seriously and incorporate revelation into administration, then their churches can move forward as part of the Church.

@#$%

I thought of that as I keep thinking about that young pastor up the road in our neck of the woods in the growing church who says things like, "Religion sucks! Jesus saves!"

He dropped another one on me: "I want you to bring some other pastors together to provide accountability and support for me. Yeah, I have a board of advisors; but they don't vote on what we do because it's my job to set His agenda according to the Bible."

So he's gonna start meeting with my covenant group every week; which includes an African-American street preacher from Victory Outreach, an author of one of the best books on revival - Firestorms of Revival which you can get through us - who has struggled so mightily to bring pastors in Northern Illinois together through Jesus, and, uh, me. We share and hold each other accountable for everything - confessionally and redemptively. Mainliners used to do that before Biblical faith and morality were placed in a parallel position of prescriptive and prophetic authority with Twain, Maclaine, and...

I think this guy's gonna get me into trouble.

He reminds me of, uh, me before I sold my soul to the company store and started saying then compromising and now accommodating stupid things about institutional covenants paralleling the only covenant that matters in the end when, in practice without Biblical faith, it means usurping His role as sovereign in the name of Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture.

Yeah, Campolo was talking about me.

Geez, even C67 got it/Him/His right: "Confessions and declarations are subordinate standards in the church, subject to the authority of Jesus Christ, the Word of God, as the Scriptures bear witness to Him...Obedience to Jesus Christ alone identifies the one universal church and supplies the continuity of its tradition."

Those were the days, my friend, we thought they'd never...

@#$%

How did it happen?

Unconverted clergy produced unconvinced laypeople who think and act as if anybody's word is as good as anybody else's word on any subject.

How did unconverted clergy slip into the mainline?

Well, some lied about what they did/didn't believe when they were ordained, some changed their minds after they were ordained about what they do/don't believe, and those who've stayed in the mainline who've got, uh, beliefs anathema to Biblical Christianity don't have the integrity to demit because they're living off the produce of their products (see the second sentence of this section) and can't find another job more suitable to their disbelief.

Or something like that.

Psst.

Here's an easy way to smoke 'em out.

Ask 'em about their personal relationship with Jesus; and if they stumble and stammer...(ask 'em about Romans 10:9 if you really want to know what's not going on)...

For Christ's sake...seriously!!!

@#$%

Speaking of disconnects between rhetoric and administration, PBHO is fast becoming the archetype.

He's already redefined bipartisanship as agreeing with him; and after that sneaky late Friday afternoon in the backroom to sign an executive order that repealed the ban on U.S. tax dollars funding foreign abortions, he had the duplicitous/disingenuous gall to say this at the National Prayer Breakfast in D.C. on 2/5/09: "We know there is no god who condones the killing of an innocent human being."

Say what?

Didn't you just...?

Increasingly, his rhetoric and administration match up about as well as Joy Behar to reality television.

I hear George Orwell in the background!

Though the MSM, most of America, and the majority of mainliners are rationalizing all of his disconnects in tribute to their real American idol, folks who actually exegete oratory apart from his mesmerizing seductions are increasingly uneasy in his, as yet, undefined and indiscernible agenda; noting his rhetoric is middle to slightly right and administration is way left.

For example, his speech at the prayer breakfast was a compelling case for syncretistic ideology loosely attributable to Biblical revelation; though, again, he said, essentially, nothing while saying it eloquently: http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.printable&pageId=88107.

I recommend buying the book by Professor Frankfurt, highlighted in the right column of this website, which helps explain intentional disconnects between rhetoric and administration.

@#$%

A video from my favorite newswoman in the South comes to mind: http://www.thedoorpost.com/hope/Volition/.

@#$%

John Hawkins in Golf World (2/9/09): "As if to prove the truth also can be funnier than fiction, the PGA Tour started working on a set of guidelines regarding the appearance and decorum of its players last summer...this should delight all those old-schoolers who judge a man by his relationship with a razor...Although I personally don't understand anyone's preoccupation with a tour pro and his whiskers, I'm not going to hide behind the default argument and suggest the tour devote its energy to more pressing affairs."

I am.

@#$%

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0E9qTovKLoc&feature=related

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

February 5, 2009

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

A young pastor up the road in our neck of the woods is attracting lots of people by saying things like, "Religion sucks! Jesus saves!"

I'm more refined as, uh, a missionary to the mainline: "Any connection between Biblical Christianity and too many of today's churches is coincidental."

He's really, really, really mad at what's happened to churches that have accommodated and compromised with our sociopoliticoreligioeconomic culture.

While I'm not a typical agree-with-the-last-person-you've-talked-to mainline cleric, I'm slower and more sophisticated or, uh, cultured, about it.

His church is growing really, really, really rapidly.

While we're doing a lot better than some others in our franchise, they're just tricklin' in.

I'm glad Jesus brought the young pastor into my life; reminding me of how I used to be when I was really, really, really passionate and purposeful and persistent and persuasive for Him before I accommodated and compromised and committed all kinds of adulteries to climb to the top of the ecclesiastical ladder of success only to find my life and ministry were leaning against the wrong building.

@#$%

Prophets don't play footsies with the culture's proprieties.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dib2-HBsF08

"A prophet's quarrel with the world is deep-down a lover's quarrel.
If they didn't love the world, they probably wouldn't bother
to tell it
that it's going to Hell.
They'd just let it go."
Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking

@#$%

From San Diego: "You wrote, 'But what really disappointed me during the SB half-time show was PBHO did not show up to join the Boss for a duet of Born in the USA.' Thanks for the satire! PBHO cannot dance. What makes you think he can sing?"

Another metaphor.

BTW, did you know only one President had a higher approval rating than PBHO at inauguration?

President Jimmy Carter.

@#$%

Pseudo-conservative columnist Kathleen Parker is at it again: "Understandably, parents worry that their kids will emulate their idol, but the problem isn't Phelps...The problem is our laws - and our lies...Phelps may be an involuntary hero...It's time to recognize that all drugs are not equal - and change the laws accordingly...Our marijuana laws have been ludicrous for as long as we've been alive. Almost half of us (42%) have tried marijuana at least once...The U.S., in fact, boasts the highest percentage of pot smokers among 17 nations surveyed...Other better-known former tokers include our current President and a couple of previous ones, as well as a Supreme Court justice..."

Yeah, like PBHO, I did it.

I liked it; but it didn't take too long before realizing I was spending too much $ at Burger King and not enough time in studies.

My daddy was/remains right and KP is/remains wrong: "Just because everybody jumps off a bridge..."

@#$%

With the majority of Americans, nearly all of the MSM, and mainliners idolizing PBHO, former Teflon Presidents Reagan and Clinton look like sandpaper scapegoats by comparison.

Nothing sticks to PBHO and criticism/dissent is treated like, uh, blasphemy.

That's nothing new for evangelicals in the mainline.

The covenant with Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture has been challenged by the covenant with denominational allegiance even if the denomination advocates beliefs and behaviors that are anathema to Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture.

Most mainline clergy are caving because, well, uh, uh, uh,...

Anyway, just as the self-perpetuating bureaucracies of the mainline have launched an attack to silence critics and squash dissent under the guise of upsetting the peace - exposing their total ignorance or defiance of the Biblical understanding of peace as inferred in the fourth sentence of this section - there's an increasing movement to restore the so-called "Fairness Doctrine" to silence PBHO's critics.

PBHO has said he has plans to "review" the "obligations" of broadcasters.

@#$%

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BmEGm-mraE

@#$%

Quickly, the Fairness Doctrine was a policy of the FCC that required the bearers of broadcast licenses to present both sides of controversial issues to insure "honest, equitable, and balanced" reporting.

Introduced in 1949, the doctrine was abolished in 1987 by the FCC as an "intrusion by government into the content of programming...restricts the journalistic freedom of broadcasters...inhibits the presentation of controversial issues..."

In short, the doctrine was deemed unconstitutional.

It's coming baaaaaaack!

Illinois Senator Durbin: "It's time to reinstitute the Fairness Doctrine."

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi: "The interest in my caucus is the reverse. Yes, I support the revival of it."

New Mexico Senator Jeff Bingaman: "I would want this station and all stations to have to present a balanced perspective and different points of view."

PBHO: "You can't just listen to Rush Limbaugh and get things done."

O.K.

As PBHO said, "I won."

With most Americans and nearly all of the MSM and mainliners idolizing PBHO, this could be very interesting/dangerous.

@#$%

Yeah, Rush along with Hannity and some others have caught PBHO's attention; and some are suggesting our President is a tad more thin-skinned than assumed (scroll down to the 1/26-27/09 editions of KD).

Joseph Farah of www.worldnetdaily.com: "I warned you it was coming...PBHO sees talk radio as a threat...I hope you...will join me in this life-and-death campaign to save free speech in America from the political frauds and robber barons currently in control of Washington."

Wikipedia: "The Fairness Doctrine has been strongly opposed by prominent libertarians and conservatives who view it as an attempt to regulate or mandate certain types of speech on the airwaves...[it is a]...response to and contempt for the successes of conservative talk radio."

The Heritage Foundation: "If the fairness standard is reinstituted, the result will not be easier access for controversial views. It will instead be self-censorship, as stations seek to avoid requirements that they broadcast specific opposing views. With the wide diversity of views available today in the expanding broadcast system, there is a simple solution for any family seeking an alternative viewpoint or for any lawmaker irritated by the pugnacious talk-show host. Turn the dial."

Ken McIntyre: "Buried speech isn't free."

@#$%

Personally, I think things are pretty balanced already.

For every Rush Limbaugh, there's a Joy Behar.

For every Fox, there's a MSNBC.

For every evangelical, there's a mainliner.

So the only reason to restore the FD would be if somebody wants to tilt the balance in, uh, somebody's favor.

Oh, come let us adore...

@#$%

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlrSC9x83yg

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

February 3, 2009

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

Annunciation

"I would like to thank President Barack Obama."

The first words from the mouth
of
Steelers Chairman and Owner Dan Rooney
upon receiving
The Lombardi Trophy
for
winning
Super Bowl XLIII

@#$%

With Yo-Yo and the classics' pretend concert on 1/20/09 still stuck in my craw, Jennifer Hudson faked the national anthem on 2/1/09.

I have a wonderful Bose in my study for recorded music; and plenty of bars in Rockford for karaoke.

But what really disappointed me during the SB half-time show was PBHO did not show up to join the Boss for a duet of Born in the USA.

@#$%

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8rCy173y7Y&feature=related

@#$%

I was audited twice by the IRS; owing about $40 the first time and getting back about $40 the second time.

I asked an accountant how to avoid getting audited again.

He said, "Ask PBHO to nominate you for a job in his administration."

Tom Daschle on 5/7/98: "Make no mistake, tax cheaters cheat us all, and the IRS should enforce our laws to the letter."

O.K., he struck out today; but PBHO is still batting .333 or one for three in miscreants making it into the, uh, clubhouse.

@#$%

Sports Illustrated (12/29/08): "Your selection of Michael Phelps as Sportsman of the Year is an excellent one. He is inspiring not only to billions worldwide but also to all of us on the Olympic team. That he is the greatest Olympian ever is indisputable. Phelps has immortalized the Olympic odyssey for our lifetime" (Jason Read, Ringoes, New Jersey, Olympian in 2004 and 2008).

Chicago Sun-Times (2/3/09): "Michael Phelps looked awfully comfortable, awfully familiar with that bong...I've heard it all already. Even PBHO has smoked pot, so it's a little hard to go overboard with outrage here...We turn these athletes and celebrities into role models, but should we?" (Greg Couch).

Ralph Waldo Emerson: "Every hero becomes at last a bore."

@#$%

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbZDjnWtK1A

@#$%

Speaking of folks who, uh, expose themselves, "the following reflections are your thing, O KDmeister" (a really cool pastor in South Carolina):

Driving to work under darkness this morning, I spied the signs
at a couple of gas stations that revealed an 11 cents jump
overnight. Hmm. Did I not see last week that "record profits"
were again reported by big oil?

Considering that oil companies have been setting profit - not
earnings but profit - records over the past several years, each
new record is beyond my ability to fathom in the context of
a national economy where most industries are, if you'll excuse
the expression, going in the tank.

Oil companies! How do you spell record?

O-b-s-c-e-n-i-t-y!!!

Never mind that many of us could not sleep at night with
record profits gained as the nation heads towards record
unemployment. If I had the power and popularity, oh, of
maybe PBHO, I'd go public and try to help the oil executives
see that just some non-record profits might allow some dollars
to make their way into other industries and pockets and help
us all.

Since Congress likes investigative committees, appoint
one with statesmen not beholding to big oil and let them
ask, "What good will your record profits do you when
everyone else in the country is out of work? Explain how
record profits are not the same thing as gouging the
consumer?"

Well, forgive my rant. Just seemed like obscene oil
profits was the sort of thing a KD might touch upon
some day.

S.D.G.

A rant?

Moi?

@#$%

O.K., another rant from Missouri (Geez! Another pastor!):

Have you reflected much on Al Capone lately?

Al was a hardened mobster...from what city?

He was public enemy #1...right?

He was sooooooo clean...sound familiar?

How did he ever end up in prison?

He went to prison for tax evasion.

Today, tax evasion has evolved; instead of punishing
tax evaders, we nominate them to public office...with
the full backing of PBHO and Congress!

Wow!

Is it possible that Al Capone has been reincarnated?

Is it possible that his new name is PBHO?

From now on, I will not be referring to PBHO as
BHO but as B"Capone"O.

He is, after all, clean; especially since tax evasion
is no longer to be treated as crime but rather rewarded
with high positions in government.

Sooooooo cynical.

C'mon, dude, even Israel wanted a king.

Oops.

Uh, I do remember big Al saying, "The best way to convince somebody is with a smile on your face and gun in your hand."

Or to quote PBHO, "I won!"

@#$%

Ranting on, rumors are flying around that Rooney is up for U.S. Ambassador to Ireland.

No kidding!

And with JJ - yes that JJ whose son didn't pay enough, uh, I mean get picked by Blago to succeed PBHO in the Senate - invited to the final Super Bowl walk-through practice of the Steelers, maybe Rooney will go to Ireland and JJ will go to Pittsburgh!

How's that for a trade?

@#$%

Staying with Rooney, he has exposed, uh, something, uh, worth noting about the most significant sociopoliticoreligioeconomic idolatry of our culture; or at least that's what KD's gleaning from several sources.

A headline from www.freerepublic.com: "Dan Rooney's Obama Worship."

Comment from The Ocala Star Banner: "What an awesome game. Then Rooney had to open his pie hole...It just came to my mind. Our country wants a hero. They want Camelot to come back. This Obama crazed media affair is a mirage...Obama can do no wrong. The Kool-Aid drinkers will ignore the corruption and the scandals due to Obama being cool...Oh, congratulations Steelers on a wonderful win."

From a subscriber in Vermont: "Rooney thanked PBHO. What about his family? What about his team? What about Tomlin? What about God? Oh, I forgot, PBHO is... I cannot bring myself to say it, but it sure sounded like that is what Rooney meant."

From a Pittsburgh transplant near Tulsa: "We may have won; but we lost. That idiot owner inserted politics into a Super Bowl celebration and made the Steelers and their fans look like losers. The black and gold are tarnished! Could it be Rooney needs some bailout money for a few overpaid players? Ah, sweet cynicism!"

Talk about cynicism! Read this from the net: "Maybe after PBHO declared he was in favor of the Steelers, those hundred yards of penalties against the Cardinals wasn't just a coincidence. It is the Chicago way!"

I think this is from Texas: "Just one more reason to hate the Steelers! As a Cowboys fan, it is a sacrilege to be a Steelers' fan. This goes back to the 70s when we were cheated out of two Super Bowl wins by lousy calls. Lynn Swann tripped over Bennie Barnes! Even the referees said it was a bad call after the game. Oh, well, not to be a sore loser, but loony Rooney is another reason to dislike the Steelers. PBHO said he went all over Pennsylvania campaigning for him."

I guess Rooney has brought politics into the game: "I hope Rush enjoyed the win and the PBHO-stroking by the owner of the Steelers."

Back to www.freerepublic.com: "Dan Rooney is beginning to remind me of Harry Reid. Not just the looks, but the abject stupidity. Were they separated at birth?"

From www.mlgpro.com: "Great game tonight everyone. What I need to know is why in the hell did Rooney thank PBHO for the win?...I almost puked...What did PBHO have to do with the Steelers winning?"

More from www.mlgpro.com: "It's just Rooney's way of thanking Jesus...Obama=Jesus...If Kurt Warner had won..."

Last quote (for now): "PBHO is after all the second coming of Jesus according to some Americans, which means maybe the world will live past 2012."

@#$%

I've said it before and I'll say it again as salt to the left and right, "I love America; and that's why I pray every day for PBHO to succeed according to God's will as personified in Jesus and prescribed in Holy Scripture."

I just wish his rhetoric and administration would start matching up.

Uh, oh, yeah, I'm glad the Steelers won.

I'm a Giants/Jets fan.

My family - inlaws and outlaws - are black and gold through and through; so I wanted them to win to avoid all of their bantering and moaning if they didn't.

Now go back to the second link and figure it out.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Monday, February 2, 2009

February 2, 2009

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

I watched yesterday's Super Bowl with eight rabid Iron City fans.

While I thought last year's game was more interesting as a Giants fan, yesterday's was exponentially better than a presbytery meeting.

Besides, for me, the late night became a little less cranky with the black and gold's win.

@#$%

Monday is a hump day pour moi; especially after Kopper takes me out for a walk at 4:30 a.m. through, uh, whenever I, uh, never get done.

I spend a lot of time in homiletical and administrative stuff - take a break to salt, shine, and sow aka KD - and then go home to wink at the family, read the paper on the commode, shower, and go back for evening meetings.

I broke out of my, uh, habit to write a congratulatory note to Steeler Nation:

Dear Champs,

It was a great day for yu'uns; and I'm thankful for the victory
because I don't think I could have taken the sour grapes and
rationalizations if you didn't get one for the other hand.

KD, of course, predicted a Steelers win after the Giants'
playmaker shot himself in a bar and they lost to the
Eagles; not to mention the favorite QB of the Meadowlands
can hardly be compared to #7 who is the best QB of all
time.

Snicker.

I was especially touched by Rooney's tribute to PBHO;
recalling the remnant's discernment why the latter will
never be a fan of the Cardinals' confessional QB.

A believer down the road wrote to me this morning:
"What's up with Rooney? He accepts the Lombardi
Trophy by saying, 'I'd like to thank...[not Jesus or
even his family or coaches or players]...PBHO!'
I mean, I know Rooney loves PBHO, but what's
up with Obamamessiahship at the Super Bowl
for God's sake? Yikes!"

Does anyone think Kurt Warner would have
thanked, uh,...?

Fitzgerald and Holmes were awesome!

Praise the Lord!

Now we can forget about BO-TO and the guy
who caught the winner last year.

Defensive Player of the Year Harrison, who better
not cash in his winner's share until opening the
forthcoming letter from the commish to see how
much he owes for his sterling show of sportsmanship
that warranted ejection, turned the game around at
the end of the first half - a 14 point swing.

Yeah, I know the Cards came back; but the Steelers
would have never been close without that play before
the Boss took the stage.

O.K., I'll admit it. The Steelers were the best team
in the NFL this year; surviving a brutal schedule,
Cowher's legacy of playing not to lose rather than
win, and confirming my affirmations of Tomlin
who could win more for the toes with half the
talent on the jaw's rosters.

Prediction: Tomlin will match Noll's record of
rings at a minimum.

And how about Jennifer Hudson's rendition of
our national anthem? Super!!!

And how about Faith Hill's singing of America
the Beautiful? Where was Hank when we needed
him?

Yeah, the Steelers go from this year's brutal
schedule to next year's which is even softer
than Notre Dame's.

Here comes the 7th!

Blessings and Love!

I hope the Giants know Boldin and Warner are free agents.

@#$%

Speaking of messages, it's mail time!

From Louisville: "Unsubscribe."

O.K., but, geez, what's wrong with your right pinky? Can't you hit the delete button? Don't worry about it! You just stay in the tower, exercise your ostrich ecclesiology, and you won't have to see how you're as out of touch with the trenches as the Republicans with most Americans.

From Illinois: "You don't take a day off?"

Nah. I don't get a day off - almost had one on 12/25 if it weren't for the two telephone counseling sessions - for five reasons: (1) Our family of faith has a long history of not knowing how to care for its pastors that was made worse by clergy misconduct in the past and my workaholic pathology now; (2) My availability to anyone at anytime is real; (3) I learned long ago that I'm only really, uh, off when I'm at least 24 hours away by car; (4) Cyberspace and cellular; and (5) I try to play nine very early in the morning a few days every week during every season but our 8 month winter and I ride my chrome pony to country nursing homes to clear the mind every...Oops!...But you'd think after all of these...See #1.

From Mississippi: "I am a mainliner for nearly 40 years, liberal, and I've been attending Gideons appreciation suppers for about 20 years in three different cities. So don't lump us all together. I do appreciate what they do, have invited them to my churches to speak and take an offering. I have their message stand in the back of the sanctuary of my current church. And I do not agree with everything they say and do, but, hey, I don't agree with anybody all the time. That's life!"

Praise the Lord! Labels are notoriously imprecise; and I'm glad you pointed that out. Exceptions to the rule are called exceptions to the rule because they occur so infrequently that they're, uh, exceptions to the rule. So, again, I praise the Lord that you're an exception to the rule! If you're in my neck of the woods, call and I'll take you to one of our new advertisers for a cup of coffee. You sound like my kinda guy. Actually, I'll bet you're not as liberal as you say and I'm not as conservative as you think. Maybe we're, uh, Christian. That'd shock 'em!

From South Carolina: "It is so comforting to hear PBHO is so encouraged by the task force that he's assigned to VPJB. Of course, we all know VPs never do anything of any importance whatsoever; so it appears to me that PBHO is really saying, 'The middle class is so low on my agenda that I'm handing it over to VPJB.' That's like pronouncing it DOA! Since no one inside the beltline has been part of anything even resembling the middle class for several generations, it sounds to me like amusement for the task force members; kind of like taking your den of Cub Scouts to the zoo to watch the antics in the monkey cage...In the words of Eldridge Cleaver, 'A liberal is someone who tells other people what to do with their poverty.' Which is to say VPJB and his task force will spend months and millions to write thousands of pages that no one will read with recommendations no one will act upon."

Hmm. It sounds like those insignificant committees and task forces populated by evangelicals in mainline denominations which are created to keep evangelicals so, uh, insignificant in mainline denominations. If PBHO's rhetoric ever matches his administration, we'll be O.K. I expect the parousia before that happens. Seriously.

@#$%

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z54-QHEZN6E

@#$%

Lenny Bruce: "Every day people are straying away from the church, and going back to God."

@#$%

An elder in a church real close by sent a story to me.

A man came home and was greeted by his wife in lingerie.

She said, "Tie me up and you can do anything you want."

He tied her up and went golfing.

@#$%

Before you ask to unsubscribe because of that last one, it's a metaphor for what's happening in our sociopoliticoreligioeconomic culture.

Maybe that's why folks are so obsessed with stuff like Super Bowls.

It's a narcotic; numbing the senses to what's really going on.

@#$%

Another metaphor for KD: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pEzHNDUDF8.

Ah, go ahead and listen to it; and if you think you've got the gift of interpretation, respond and I'll publish what you think it means.

Maybe.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!