Monday, February 2, 2009

February 2, 2009

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)


I watched yesterday's Super Bowl with eight rabid Iron City fans.

While I thought last year's game was more interesting as a Giants fan, yesterday's was exponentially better than a presbytery meeting.

Besides, for me, the late night became a little less cranky with the black and gold's win.


Monday is a hump day pour moi; especially after Kopper takes me out for a walk at 4:30 a.m. through, uh, whenever I, uh, never get done.

I spend a lot of time in homiletical and administrative stuff - take a break to salt, shine, and sow aka KD - and then go home to wink at the family, read the paper on the commode, shower, and go back for evening meetings.

I broke out of my, uh, habit to write a congratulatory note to Steeler Nation:

Dear Champs,

It was a great day for yu'uns; and I'm thankful for the victory
because I don't think I could have taken the sour grapes and
rationalizations if you didn't get one for the other hand.

KD, of course, predicted a Steelers win after the Giants'
playmaker shot himself in a bar and they lost to the
Eagles; not to mention the favorite QB of the Meadowlands
can hardly be compared to #7 who is the best QB of all


I was especially touched by Rooney's tribute to PBHO;
recalling the remnant's discernment why the latter will
never be a fan of the Cardinals' confessional QB.

A believer down the road wrote to me this morning:
"What's up with Rooney? He accepts the Lombardi
Trophy by saying, 'I'd like to thank...[not Jesus or
even his family or coaches or players]...PBHO!'
I mean, I know Rooney loves PBHO, but what's
up with Obamamessiahship at the Super Bowl
for God's sake? Yikes!"

Does anyone think Kurt Warner would have
thanked, uh,...?

Fitzgerald and Holmes were awesome!

Praise the Lord!

Now we can forget about BO-TO and the guy
who caught the winner last year.

Defensive Player of the Year Harrison, who better
not cash in his winner's share until opening the
forthcoming letter from the commish to see how
much he owes for his sterling show of sportsmanship
that warranted ejection, turned the game around at
the end of the first half - a 14 point swing.

Yeah, I know the Cards came back; but the Steelers
would have never been close without that play before
the Boss took the stage.

O.K., I'll admit it. The Steelers were the best team
in the NFL this year; surviving a brutal schedule,
Cowher's legacy of playing not to lose rather than
win, and confirming my affirmations of Tomlin
who could win more for the toes with half the
talent on the jaw's rosters.

Prediction: Tomlin will match Noll's record of
rings at a minimum.

And how about Jennifer Hudson's rendition of
our national anthem? Super!!!

And how about Faith Hill's singing of America
the Beautiful? Where was Hank when we needed

Yeah, the Steelers go from this year's brutal
schedule to next year's which is even softer
than Notre Dame's.

Here comes the 7th!

Blessings and Love!

I hope the Giants know Boldin and Warner are free agents.


Speaking of messages, it's mail time!

From Louisville: "Unsubscribe."

O.K., but, geez, what's wrong with your right pinky? Can't you hit the delete button? Don't worry about it! You just stay in the tower, exercise your ostrich ecclesiology, and you won't have to see how you're as out of touch with the trenches as the Republicans with most Americans.

From Illinois: "You don't take a day off?"

Nah. I don't get a day off - almost had one on 12/25 if it weren't for the two telephone counseling sessions - for five reasons: (1) Our family of faith has a long history of not knowing how to care for its pastors that was made worse by clergy misconduct in the past and my workaholic pathology now; (2) My availability to anyone at anytime is real; (3) I learned long ago that I'm only really, uh, off when I'm at least 24 hours away by car; (4) Cyberspace and cellular; and (5) I try to play nine very early in the morning a few days every week during every season but our 8 month winter and I ride my chrome pony to country nursing homes to clear the mind every...Oops!...But you'd think after all of these...See #1.

From Mississippi: "I am a mainliner for nearly 40 years, liberal, and I've been attending Gideons appreciation suppers for about 20 years in three different cities. So don't lump us all together. I do appreciate what they do, have invited them to my churches to speak and take an offering. I have their message stand in the back of the sanctuary of my current church. And I do not agree with everything they say and do, but, hey, I don't agree with anybody all the time. That's life!"

Praise the Lord! Labels are notoriously imprecise; and I'm glad you pointed that out. Exceptions to the rule are called exceptions to the rule because they occur so infrequently that they're, uh, exceptions to the rule. So, again, I praise the Lord that you're an exception to the rule! If you're in my neck of the woods, call and I'll take you to one of our new advertisers for a cup of coffee. You sound like my kinda guy. Actually, I'll bet you're not as liberal as you say and I'm not as conservative as you think. Maybe we're, uh, Christian. That'd shock 'em!

From South Carolina: "It is so comforting to hear PBHO is so encouraged by the task force that he's assigned to VPJB. Of course, we all know VPs never do anything of any importance whatsoever; so it appears to me that PBHO is really saying, 'The middle class is so low on my agenda that I'm handing it over to VPJB.' That's like pronouncing it DOA! Since no one inside the beltline has been part of anything even resembling the middle class for several generations, it sounds to me like amusement for the task force members; kind of like taking your den of Cub Scouts to the zoo to watch the antics in the monkey cage...In the words of Eldridge Cleaver, 'A liberal is someone who tells other people what to do with their poverty.' Which is to say VPJB and his task force will spend months and millions to write thousands of pages that no one will read with recommendations no one will act upon."

Hmm. It sounds like those insignificant committees and task forces populated by evangelicals in mainline denominations which are created to keep evangelicals so, uh, insignificant in mainline denominations. If PBHO's rhetoric ever matches his administration, we'll be O.K. I expect the parousia before that happens. Seriously.



Lenny Bruce: "Every day people are straying away from the church, and going back to God."


An elder in a church real close by sent a story to me.

A man came home and was greeted by his wife in lingerie.

She said, "Tie me up and you can do anything you want."

He tied her up and went golfing.


Before you ask to unsubscribe because of that last one, it's a metaphor for what's happening in our sociopoliticoreligioeconomic culture.

Maybe that's why folks are so obsessed with stuff like Super Bowls.

It's a narcotic; numbing the senses to what's really going on.


Another metaphor for KD:

Ah, go ahead and listen to it; and if you think you've got the gift of interpretation, respond and I'll publish what you think it means.



Blessings and Love!

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