Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

KDers from VP JB's Scranton (Not!) to PBHO's birthplace (Where?) couldn't identify why 3/2 is a national holiday.

Some guy teaching in someplace called Marengo, Illinois got it: "It's Dr. Seuss' birthday! You and Dr. Seuss. Figures. Now I believe in predestination. I wonder what Freud would do with that."

What?

@#$%

I bought a bunch of stuff for myself because nobody else did: Roma Flat Black Beanie Half Helmet, Outbacker Folding Took Kit, J&P Cycles Touring/Full-Dress Cover, and T-shirt ("It's All About the Ride! Old Guys Rule!").

Cool.

Uh, something's missin' in the barn.

@#$%

An old pastor said to me about 25 years ago when I was really famous and had just about reached the top of the ecclesiastical ladder of success: "You've got everything you need except pastoral warmth."

He was right.

I reached every academic and professional goal before 30 as planned.

Dr. Macleod had me on the top ten list of, uh, lots of stuff.

I could preach about agape and write about prayer as well as anyone; and my bibliography proved it.

But it wasn't until I committed adultery, just about forfeited my call, almost lost my family, and incarnated a latent thanatos libido that I discovered the only path to personal salvation and that elusive pastoral warmth was entering into His heart on my emotional, intellectual, physical, and spiritual knees.

The fruit of His Holy Spirit only grow - check out Galatians 5:22 - through intimacy with Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

It's axiomatic: holier = happier.

Or something like that.

I was born anothen as a person/partner/parent/pastor/presbyter a little over 10 years ago; and while I've got a long way to go, I'm a lot better than I was.

@#$%



@#$%

People keep saying something's missin' in the mainline denominations.

They've got the most educated clergy in the world and some of the prettiest buildings and real estate.

They've got lots more money than even the Mormons and Muslims.

Hmm.

I think it's like motorcycle accessories.

They're not very useful without, uh, a motorcycle.

@#$%

Speaking of looking in all of the wrong places for existential/eternal salvation, CNN's Jack Cafferty said he is "developing a crush on America's first lady...Michelle Obama is more compelling than her husband. He's good, but she's utterly fascinating...Mrs. Obama has blown away the stale air in a White House musty from eight years of the Bushes. It's like the sun came out and a fresh spring breeze began wafting through the open windows."

Barf me with a spoon!

"When it comes to the first lady," said Jack who lusts for Michelle as much as he loathes Sarah Palin, "I'm smitten."

Hmm.

Snakebite?

I think she's O.K.

If I hadn't given up adultery, I'd date her.

But I'm not into royal families.

Everyone that's tried that since Saul has regretted it.

Relationships - including citizenships - don't seem to work well without an essential ingredient that's not so worldly.

@#$%

Staying with the royal family, did you hear about PBHO's secret letter to Russia with love?

Of course, you didn't!

Nobody questions the disconnect between PBHO's patriotic rhetoric and socialist agenda/administration.

After all, he is...

Anyway, he sent a secret letter to Russian President Dmitri Medvedev - the front guy for Puken - that offered to scrap our proposed/real/who/knows/anymore missile defense shield in exchange for their help in blocking Iran from acquiring nukes.

Hmm.

Do I hear Jeremiah Wright ringing in his ears?

O.K., he did say, "This is no longer a Christian nation."

I think he meant/intends it.

@#$%



@#$%

Bill Gates won't let his kids buy Apple stuff.

His wife wants an iPhone.

Here's betting his bark isn't as big as their bite.

It takes one to know one.

I looked in my garage on 3/2 and there was nothing to accessorize.

@#$%



@#$%

Somebody wrote to complain about me mentioning Jesus too much.

Geez.

I get that enough from mainline clergy.

Somebody wrote to complain about @#$%s to divide KD snips/snipes/whatevers.

Those @#$%s don't symbolize profanity; though I'm getting really @#$% off at people who keep tellin' me to come up with different partitions.

C'mon, I told you that I'd use different symbols if you send 20K!

For example, to honor what's goin' on in our world and worldly mainliners and D.C., I was thinking about replacing @#$% with 666.

Sorry.

Moretheless, a nice letter from, uh, someone/somewhere: "You're on a roll, baby! Your birthday KD was one of your best to date: acidic and poignant to be almost in league of my personal favorite ___...[Can you guess his comparison?]...I too was formed in the womb with a gift for sarcasm, finding it a marvelous manner of conveying ideas. Those who understand it enjoy and react to it; while those who are offended miss the whole bloody concept and are lost...A belated but sincerest Happy Birthday wish with a reminder that when He wants you to have your chrome pony, you'll get it. Dare I suggest a little faith. Thanks once more for your being with us and for all your efforts on His behalf."

I don't care what Kathie and Chuck say.

I need to listen to a Neil Young song:



@#$%

Blessings and Love!

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on
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