Thursday, March 19, 2009

March 19, 2009

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)


Spring Break Edition!


My doctor put me on some pretty heavy cholesterol medicine; and said I've got to change my diet.

I asked if church potlucks are a problem.

He asked with a smirk, "Ya think?"


It was a bad week for my gene pool.

My mom went in for her second catheterization in the last six months and my sister just got home after serious surgery.

My sister got mad when I said, "Well, life begins at 50 and then it's patch, patch, patch."

She's over 50.

Counting time in the womb which I always do because God does, I'm a little over 11 months from 58.

My mom got mad when I told her about the medicine: "Your diet is worse than mine and they're gonna open you up pretty soon if don't stop eating all of that ___."


Early Mother's Day Special!


I need a break.

I think I'll go back to Woodstock, Illinois and buy a bike.

I'd rather flame and shine (chromelike) than burn or rust out.

That's a Neil Young metaphor that Kathie and Chuck don't get.



Speaking of breaks, KD's goin' on one and won't be back, uh, on line for about two weeks or less; so this is a good time to send folks a note like this: "Hey! Wineskin-constricted traditional religionist so caught up in ecclesiastical and secular idolatries that you're sinking deeper and deeper into, uh, uh, uh, stuff and splattering it on anyone in pathological transference distance! Lighten up! Go to and join the, uh, uh, uh, whatever before, uh, uh, uh..."

Become a Christian 1%er!!!

What the heaven is that all about?

You tell me!


O.K. back to abnormality which is a good thing; considering how categorically boring as well as nauseating "normal" has become.

Abbie. Abbie Normal.

I tell my homiletical students, "The goal of preaching is not to bore people; but rather to salt 'em to salvation and light up dreary lives to the joy and psychedness of knowing Jesus!"


I think I've figured out why my theological alma mater never invites me to teach on their turf.


Getting back to breaks, KD ain't the only one(s) shuttin' down for spring.

Hello, Florida!

Here come the girls and boys about to go wild!

But it's not a good year for Mexico.

Thanks to GWB and PBHO and NP who says border-hoppers are America's real patriots - Hey! Hey! Hey! Anybody out there think the succession of power in our country isn't real but just a bad trip and we'll wake up before Elmer Fudd, I mean BF,, really take over and destroy us for good! - you could move a herd of elephants across any of our borders with detection until they show up at the local general hospital's emergency room for primary care and fill out all of the applications necessary for a plethora of freebies available to anyone but tax-paying citizens.


People are trying to leave Mexico and come into America!!!

So it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone but the House's Speaker that Mexico isn't exactly the best place to, uh, break for spring.

Thomas Jaenichen, owner of SWAT Travel in Costa Mesa, California which is the largest travel firm on the left coast specializing in student spring break deals, has canceled lots of planned trips to Mexico because of its crime crisis: "Many of our existing customers and their families are concerned as a result of the recent Mexico travel warnings issued by various government agencies."

Could it be the drug traffic violence that claimed 6,290 lives last year (double the total for 2007) or the more than 1,000 murders in the first 8 weeks of 2009?

Not to worry!

Mexican officials say the violence is between drug cartels in areas not frequented by tourists.

Uh, anybody ever check out where all those, uh, tourists like to hang out?

U.S. State Department travel alert: "The greatest increase in violence has occurred near the U.S. border. However, U.S. citizens traveling throughout Mexico should exercise caution in unfamiliar areas and be aware of their surroundings at all times. Mexican and foreign bystanders have been injured or killed in violent attacks in cities across the country, demonstrating the heightened risk of violence in public places. In recent years, dozens of U.S. citizens have been kidnapped across Mexico."

Rosarito (Mexico) Mayor Hugo Torres: "It's a good time to come down and take a better look!"

Yeah, right.

I think I'll just go to Pittsburgh and Wilkes-Barre for now.

As my dad said the last time I asked him to go to Israel with me, "I've already fought in two wars."



Before breaking, a quick toldjah!

Many months ago, readers scoffed at KD's political prognostication that Steelers owner Dan Rooney was gonna get paid off for his early PBHO support - name and $ - with an ambassadorship to Ireland (scroll way down).


Toldjah we've got sources all over the place.


Before breaking, what's up with Meghan McCain?

I know her daddy is really an accommodatingly gutless Democrat who likes photo-ops almost as much as the guy who crushed him back in November, but this is getting ridiculous.

She sounds like that Spears chick on steroids.

Google her.

I hope you've got one of those airline puke bags close.


Before breaking, mail time!

From my clerk of session (a big shot in Presbyterian churches); quoting the late Paul Harvey: "We've drifted away from being fishers of men to being keepers of the aquarium."


From Chapel Hill: "Maybe the team with the best graduation rate should be given a better seed in the NCAA basketball brackets. North Carolina, Pittsburgh, Louisville, and Connecticut share #1 seeds; but their graduation rates have much less in common: UNC (86%), Pitt (69%), Louisville (42%) and UConn (33%)."

Hmm. Sounds like somebody's predictin' a consolation prize!

From Tampa Bay: "You like to use stuff as a synonym for ___. I am reminded of the most useful word that I picked up in Africa. In the Chichewa tribal language of Malawi, they have the word katundu. Literally, it means the, uh, stuff that people carry around with them. Use it without explanation! It may cause some cramping in the more constipated of your readers."

Another word comes to mind. Metamucil.



I'm going back to Woodstock.


Blessings and Love!

See you in two weeks! In the meantime,go to

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