July 27, 2009

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

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It started raining as soon as we got into the van to leave for vacation at 3:16 a.m. on 7/15.

It didn't rain a drop during vacation.

It started raining as soon as we got into the van to return from vacation at 7:17 a.m. on 7/26.

I don't know what that means.

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The day before we left for vacation, the electronics went apoplectic on my mule.

Before dropping it off at my favorite HD dealership, I had a memorial service.

Kopper took me to obedience school later that night; and a dear friend came and offered consolation and deeply appreciated affection.

I picked up the mule when we returned from vacation; but returned it again because the electronics went apoplectic again.

The daughter of the deceased wrote: "On behalf of myself and my girls, I would like to thank you for giving my mom a beautiful service. Your music, sermon...It was a pleasure meeting you. The congregation at First Presbyterian are truly blessed to have you as their pastor...I hope you had a good vacation."

Kopper fell in love with Ashley while we were away; but was so obviously happy when we returned.

My favorite HD dealership gave me a new Road King to use while my Dyna's in the hospital; which is cool because I've always coveted a Road King.

Road King?

I don't know what that means.

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We passed by our franchise's (PCUSA) headquarters in Louisville on the way to Litchfield, SC.

The lights behind the cross in the building were not on.

The van almost stalled in front of it yet sputtered along.

We ended up dropping some big bucks for bandaids.

I don't know what that means.

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Walter Cronkite died while we were away, Tom Watson yipped away a singular place in golf history and brought back so many nightmares of the Shark, Rocco, Phil, and Duval, the Anglicans made gays feel straight, the NFL commish deliberated on the future of an animal abuser to play with drug addicts, men being grossly overpaid to play a kids' game, and a host of thugs, and it became clearer and clearer and clearer that PBHO doesn't have a clue about what he speaks so eloquently about - everything!

Speaking of not having a clue, some people at the beach should exchange their Speedos and bikinis for Muslim attire.

Bruno continued to draw big crowds; which proves the devolution of Western Civilization as the talented but twisted nymph persists in playing out his perverted pathologies in public.

I read the visitor's book in our condo - I never read or sign the visitor's book anywhere!!! - and was struck by the comments of Newton, NC's Nick Kummer who preceded us by a week: "This place is demonic and haunted. I can't wait to get out. If you are staying here...good luck!" Hannah Gonoharow of Huntersville, NC then wrote in red, "Ignore what Nick said. He is half ___. Don't ask how we tolerate him!"

I did not let my wife or children read the visitor's book.

I am a VMTC lead minister; so I performed an exorcism while everyone was asleep on the first night of our stay.

We had no visitors.

I don't know what that means.

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I found ten golf balls during vacation; but didn't hit one.

I found two TaylorMade TP/Black premium golf balls about a yard from each other about 20 yards into the woods from the 7th tee of Reserve Golf Course. Both balls bore the same vanity inscriptions: "99" on one side and "Bob" on the other. Not making too much of the name, it means the same guy did the same thing to repeat the same awful shot.

Getting coffee at a local gas station catering to locals, I was asked, "What's up with PBHO saying the cops were stupid when he wasn't even there and doesn't know anything about what happened?" My response: "That hasn't stopped him from talking about everything else all of the time without expertise or experience."

Getting back to Anglican gays, they're now eligible for "any ordained ministry" even if they're self-affirming, avowed, and unrepentant in extra-Biblical sexualities.

I was about to write something really orthodox about that until the Bishop of Durham alerted me to a real logjam of hypocrisy among those who are most obsessed with that kinda stuff: "There's something very bizarre about the rich arguing about sex while the poor are clamoring for justice."

I don't know what that means.

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My dad wrote, "Used to be, I'd get jokes on my e-mail practically every day; but not much - zilch - for the last six or seven months. People are losing their sense of humor; or because of political correctness and other bull___ going on in this country are not allowed to have one...I have always enjoyed humor and I considered myself Mr. Optimist. I'm over 80 years old and still look forward to tomorrow; but, boy, we have such a lack of leadership. PBHO and the Dems are trying to give away our country and we have no Repubs with enough guts to take him on. Yesterday, I watched a confrontation between a black leader of the Black Chamber of Commerce and that racist socialist Senator Boxer from California. He had the guts to uncover her stupidity and ___ kissin' social worker intelligence. The Dems are no longer interested in the values that made America great. And the Repubs have no spine. And don't get me started on the church..."

In a related story, I got Johnson's John Calvin: Reformer for the 21st Century as a free gift from John Knox Press: "Please accept with our compliments..." That was followed by a note about it being offered at a 25% discount for churches who want to incorporate it into their CE offerings.

The publisher wrote, "I'm sure if you asked members of your congregation to name three historical 'movers and shakers' in the PCUSA, most of them would include John Calvin..."

Whoa.

That knocked me off my chair.

I don't think so.

Maybe PBHO, Rick Warren, or Yoda!

Calvin?

Maybe that cartoon character.

But, c'mon, have you looked at adult CE in most franchise churches?

Though Johnson has become the darling of the Anglicangaylikin' folks in our franchise, I like the book. Though I can see how they'll use it to advance their agenda, it's really clear, concise, and surprisingly comprehensive in caricaturing the old coot while prompting passionate debate on logical/illogical inferences from our, uh, cough, gasp, sigh, "Reformed" heritage. I've even volunteered to lead a study in our church!

But then a really, really, really smart newsperson from the South wrote to me: "I know him personally. He is so far left! He will find a way to argue that Calvin was the first person in history to champion gay ordination!"

I don't know what that means.

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O.K., I kinda know what it means.

Oops.

Here comes the rain again.

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Blessings and Love!

Kathie added some cool stuff on www.koppdisclosure.com while I was away!!!