October 7, 2009

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%



@#$%

I've been hosting a group of saints called "Belvidere Brewers" at Starbucks for a long time.

We talk about everything/everyone every Tuesday from 8:00 - 10:00 a.m.

Yesterday, for example, we talked about Chicago losing the Olympics to the murder capital of South America, an emerging church moving into town with an authentically Christian and extraordinarily gifted lead pastor who's gonna change the county/community's religious landscape while scaring the heaven/hell out of local clergy, wineskins, whiners, and why this would be a could time for the parousia.

You've gotta sell a lotta coffee and be really friendly to keep one of those kinda places open; and, indulge my preening, I've brought lots of new customers to 'em.

After meeting with a friend to chat/pray around 7:00 p.m. at Starbucks last night, I boasted about two visits in one day while asking for a refill.

The guy behind the counter with a porcupine hairdo said, "I'll have to charge you for refills from now on even though I know they don't charge you in the morning when you bring in your group."

Though I've always paid for the first cup and never asked for anything free despite generating so much business for 'em even while coveting one of those black and green Starbucks baseball caps that I can't get unless I work for 'em which may end up happening in my off hours if I don't settle some plastic debt soon, I didn't protest; primarily because it would have been a bad witness to the others in the, uh, brewery who will probably end up in the emerging church moving into town.

Digging into my pocket for the 64 cents that I was hoping to give to Visa, I muttered, "Oh, I forgot, it's still PAM."

@#$%

Did you hear about the chairman of Florida State's board of trustees who wants to get rid of legendary football coach Bobby Bowden at the end of the season after countless championships and major bucks raised for the university because the Seminoles are off to a bad start; acknowledging the chairman's vacuous rationalizations that nobody's buying?

Have you heard any of the self-righteousness being spewed in David Letterman's direction for doing what everybody else is doing with a lower profile as promoted by our increasingly immoral media, mainline denominations, and entertainment industry?

Bringing back memories of the highly-principled President Jimmy Carter who refused to meet with Martin Luther King, Jr. while a Georgia State Senator because it would offend the rednecks who were supporting him, is anyone really that shocked by PBHO's refusal to meet with the Dalai Lama because it would offend those guardians of human rights in China?

And why does any of that remind me of PAM?

@#$%

I think it's time for a new theme song for the rest of PAM.

@#$%



@#$%

Yeah, that's about right.

@#$%

I received a poem for PAM:

You are a creative man.
One, I would like to shake your hand.
Two, your humor makes me laugh a lot.
Three, if I drank, I'd have a shot...or not.
...[You're as good as The Office]...
Four, your pastor-subscribers across the nation
make my reality a sensation.
Five, I'm here in the library shelter
the bombs have hit helter skelter.
Six, thinking about PAM
or Mother's Day, Father's Day, or Valentine's Day...
each we see between the lines.
Seven, when others see the card
it may be in their backyard.
Eight, the new PAM - honey
people appreciate money!
Nine, pastors, doctors, lawyers, moms - high fives...
the title is a disguise!
Ten, my dear good friend...
I may be crazy but...I press send!

Very cool.

@#$%

Here's something uncool from someone who's hot:

Dear KD,

I know what you're trying to do with these KDs on PAM.

You're wasting your time and my time because nobody really
cares. I remember reading something you wrote long ago: "If
I die, they'll have ham and salad in the church dining room, elect
a new pastor search committee in a week, and give my family
a month to get out of the manse."

You may have been your usual sarcastic self to make an
important point; but that's about right and most of us pastors
know it.

I just escaped one church for another because the chairperson
of the search committee that brought me to the church wanted
me to be her best friend in bed. When I rebuffed her repeated
advances as a happily married man, she turned against me and
started spreading rumors about me and saying how she was
wrong for wanting me to come...When people don't get what
they want from the pastor, they go or try to get you gone!

My new church is good; or, at least, it's good right now. But
some of the folks on the search committee, I think, were
looking for their new best friend or hero for their causes or
mom or dad or something else that I'll never match.

So I keep my resume updated.

Yes, you're right to let pastors vent about PAM and
sneak in some of your own opinions; but you're wrong
if you think anybody really cares.

You know how it goes: "Preachers come and go but
we stay."

I qualify for retirement soon.

I'm counting the days.

Painfully, ___

Whoa.

@#$%

I got a nice note from a VMTC mentor: "Technically, you are not my pastor, but I want you to know I appreciate you! I look forward to your e-mail stuff because I believe you are REAL. Now that comes from a laywoman who has had no training; but I have lived 72 years and, hopefully, I have learned something during that time...Hang in there and keep on keeping on for our Lord."

That feels good.

This comes from a mentor: "An AG pastor in the Midwest told me about a coal stove in his church. He had to get up early every Sunday morning in the winter when it was really cold and start the fire in it. One Sunday morning when he was very cold and very tired and very discouraged, he complained to himself, 'Why do I have to do this? Why can't someone else do this? I think I will find another church to go to where they either have a better heating system or someone else to do this dirty and thankless job.' Then he heard God say to him, 'The hireling fleeth.'"

Ouch.

From an advisor to the last real leader in the White House: "At communion yesterday, our pastor mentioned how early Christians were hated because they were cannibals. He then wandered around the topic and announced, 'This is the body of Christ, hungry Christians come to be fed.' Now, I could have taken offense that he did not close the theological circle. Where was the consubstantiation and transubstantiation anyway? Where were the famous delineations that would put our minds at rest that we were not actually EATING Jesus?...Well, this is a very well-educated congregation and it is very smart to boot. But I kidded the pastor afterward that he probably made the visiting RCs feel very safe - and the untutored Protestants uncomfortable. It was all in fun without the slightest hint of criticism. After all, it is PAM, right?"

And to think I thought some churchgoers are still cannibals.

A friend who knew Paul (scroll down to the 10/4/09 edition) wrote something that I hope two friends read today before making any decisions: "I was thinking about Paul yesterday...When I read today's KD and how you were blamed for Paul falling off the mountain, I remembered Paul asked me to climb with him that year; but I declined because I was in the middle of a move...Paul took a 'rookie' instead...One of my greatest regrets is that at significant times in my life, when my friends fell, I wasn't there to stop them or help pick them up. I'm sorry."

As I wipe empathetic tears from my eyes, I want this guy to know that he was there for me and prayed me to restoration when I fell.

@#$%

Unrelated to PAM which will be a relief to those who are feeling guilty about it from any perspective, KD received two comments about the Beck quote in the 10/2/09 edition (scroll down).

From a leading newswoman in the South: "Great quote. Unfortunately, its point is no longer true. Debate has been replaced by 20 second sound bites on the boob tube. Facts are often lost in the emotion of the moment or overwhelmed by the imagery that generates more heat than light, or the degree that the person is articulate enough or attractive enough to catch our attention while we multi-task and watch at the same time. Nothing squelches more than the limits of the television in our living room."

From a high school teacher in Illinois: "You don't need to burn books to destroy a civilization; just get people to stop reading them."

Hmm.

Mainline denominations.

Bible.

Does anyone see any connections?

@#$%

I was supposed to play golf with my favorite Special Olympian today.

It's too cold.

I wanted to take our pastor for education and youth and his wife out to lunch for PAM.

His mother-in-law came to town and...

Oh, I forgot, it's still PAM.

@#$%



@#$%

Blessings and Love!

How are gifts to KD coming?

Kathie hasn't made reservations
for her family trip to Hawaii.

She told me to keep paying
the minimum on my plastic.

Selah.