October 8, 2009

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

My wife wants me to stop writing about PAM.

She says I'm treated well.

She's right.

Aside from a few irregulars who aren't pillars or players anyway, I'm treated well on the corner of Lincoln and Main in Belvidere, Illinois.

I've never said or written anything to anyone to the contrary in any context.

"Honey Bear," I confessed, "KD isn't about me. I just want people to think about how they're relating to each other as a betrayal of how they're relating to Jesus; and when it comes to PAM, some pastors are treated miserably while others, like me, are treated well. It just never occurred to me that I should pretend everything's great for everybody."

I've never thought things get better by thinking everything's great.

It must be the Calvinist in me.

I may be wrong.

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@#$%

While I'm still interested in a beer summit with PBHO, his fans get really upset when I suggest he's strictly OJT as the main man in D.C.

"If he's so unqualified to be President," I was asked yesterday, "why did he win so convincingly and why do people still love him so overwhelmingly?"

Good question.

After a nano-second or less, I replied, "Two words for the first part: John McCain. Two words for the second part: Paris Hilton."

Go figure.

@#$%

I just read the 10/4/09 edition of my favorite theological journal: Parade.

After getting through some life-changing snippets on why VPs are such buffoons, Arsenio's continuing hots for Paula, the vocational liabilities of bad credit, and how venacura will improve my appearance by erasing spider and varicose veins without surgery, I read the "surprising results" of an exclusive Parade poll: "How Spiritual Are We?"

Parenthetically, while making no reference to them, Parade placed pictures of Joel Osteen and Rick Warren between paragraphs. Hmm. If Parade really thought they could attract more readers by tapping into idolatry, I wondered why they didn't include a picture of PBHO.

Be that as it wasn't, I've culled some of it for KDers' consumption.

By way of preface, "Parade's survey reveals a nation looking heavenward - but with its feet firmly planted on the ground of modern life."

Bipolarity seems descriptive; or as my daddy says, "America has become the land of the formerly free with two feet planted firmly in the air."

Knowing lots of folks feel comfortable in the position, you be the judge!

69% of Americans believe in God while 77% pray outside of religious services.

75% believe it's a parent's responsibility to provide religious training for their children while 45% consider themselves religious, 50% don't attend worship services, 56% think people go to heaven or hell depending upon their behavior, and 59% say all religions are valid.

82% would marry outside of their religious preference but 24% say their spirituality does not include religion, 78% would never think of converting to another religion, and 33% consider religion as important but not that important.

67% pray because it brings comfort and hope, 72% pray for others, 60% pray for forgiveness, 27% are after success, and 21% want money.

17% go to clergy for guidance while 55% lean on family members.

59% believe religion can help solve our world's problems but 41% say religion starts wars and causes suffering.

15% consider religion when it comes to politics and 58% say religion and politics don't mix.

12% don't believe in life after life.

Go figure.

@#$%

Despite my wife's protest, it's still PAM; and a few more folks have written to KD about it.

From a Baptist who, like me, is treated well: "Without saying anything or prodding from me or my staff, I have received two plates of chocolate chip cookies, a plate of iced brownies, a gift certificate to Outback, several drawings from our Sunday School children, a book of coupons, a pie of my choice, a Sunday lunch, and several cards. And it's only the 7th day of the month!...My folks really come through...I would also say maybe some pastors in bad situations are in them because of their own making. I don't know all the facts so I won't say that. Oops! I guess I just did! It must be KD rubbing off on me."

From a Presbyterian who, unlike me or the Baptist, hasn't been treated well: "I was looking at our denomination's planning calendar and noticed October 11 is HIV/AIDS Awareness Sunday. I also noticed other calendars promote October 11 as Pastor Appreciation Sunday. Do you think there's a connection?"

From the daughter of a friend who isn't writing about PAM; but I couldn't figure out where else to put this: "I just had a call from a charity asking me to donate some clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to forget about it! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!"

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@#$%

This is the last edition of KD for a week or so; which will come as great relief to people who've stopped thinking because they've already figured out everything along with my wife who will be spared more stuff on PAM.

I'm driving to Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania to see my parents, sister, and other lesser relatives after services on HIV/AIDS Awareness Sunday.

I'm also going to root for the Yankees and Giants while eating the only pizza in America worth eating until I puke; that is, of course, as long as one of those relatives is paying or that plastic miracle occurs before the parousia.

Go figure.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!