Thursday, March 25, 2010

March 25, 2010

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

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Kathie leaves for spring break around 4:00 p.m.

My family leaves tomorrow morning.

Not me.

I've got a funeral over the weekend and Holy Week.

Sunday comes and people die without consulting my calendar.

Maybe I can relate to BBPBHO who had to stick around for the big vote.

Ya gots ta do what ya gots ta do.

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I don't have to, uh, go if you know what I mean.

So I asked Kathie if we could squeeze in a quickie edition before her train leaves the station.

I said I gots ta because a subscriber in Florida who actually sends in a donation every now and then says he can't bear the thought of not being poked, prodded, pricked, probed, provoked, and sometimes pacified between pontifications pleaded and pledged prayer for other subscribers to pitch in to provide payola to pay off plastic and prompt planning for Kathie's trip to Hawaii next whenever.

And a subscriber in New York who never sends in a donation says he likes KD's style even if I expose my ignorance on subjects like the contents of the last KD (scroll down).

Ergo, this quickie

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Sure to ___ off my friends on the left and right, I confess I still like BBPBHO on a personal level; wishing he would invite me to the White House for a Bud Light or round of golf at some course that he not me can get on like Augusta National or some wings with the VP so we can just sit around and vent through potty mouths about how GWB is responsible for everything bad since he took over for the serpent in the garden.

BBPBHO is a nice guy who doesn't want to hurt anyone; sooooooo sincerely concerned about the health and welfare of everybody.

But, uh, I also think being a junior State Senator for a few years and a junior US Senator for a few years after being a professor and community organizer for a few years hardly computes/contributes to what our country needs right now.

Of course, I don't have anybody else in mind; for I'm just ignorant like my friend in New York advertises.

O.K., I like to look at Sarah Palin in a very carnal kinda way; but I don't really think she'd be much better or much worse than BBPBHO.

Frankly, I don't like anybody wearing the current political party labels (viz., the appropriately symbolic jackasses and pachyderms).

I like Ron Paul and Joe Lieberman who have about as much of a chance succeeding BBPBHO as I do of becoming the next Pope or Moderator of the PCUSA or, uh, geez, sigh, gulp, drool, even moderator of my own presbytery or, uh, geez, sigh, gulp, drool, even chairdude of the Committee on Session Records and Review.

Praying every day for BBPBHO to succeed after the example of Jesus as explained in Holy Scripture, I also pray my discernments are indigestional rather than inspirational because, while liking him on a personal level and praying His best for his Presidency, I think his ideological bent, tutored/trained/tuned by his wacko pastor and buddies and a Presidential succession and Congressional alliance that provide great scripts for SNL, will kill American democracy for bad.

BBPBHO is gutting America's soul.

Continuing the tradition of his office in more recent than past history - call me ignorant if you must - he not only feels our pain but adds to it.

He reminds me of mainline denominations.

It's O.K. for pastors, elders, deacons, and members to ignore/defy Biblical faith and morality; but you better have those session minutes in order or, uh, else.

Love the style!

You look maaaaavaaaaalus!

Substance?

Help us, Jesus!

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Unlike my friends on the right, I don't think BBPBHO is trying to destroy America.

Unlike my friends on the left, I don't think BBPBHO, the beneficiary and advocate of increasing statism for his entire life, has any personal/professional/ideological commitment to free enterprise.

He really believes government can work.

He really believes intellectual/academic elites should run the show because they know better than the masses and have some kinda right - can't say the right is divine because we ain't sure about his, uh, spiritual/religious leanings other than he does acknowledge, on occasion, someone somewhere someplace who's up to something sometimes - to plan and provide (euphemistic language for control) what's "best" for people who can't/don't/won't plan and provide for themselves apart from the last trip to Best Buy or Burger King.

In other words, I believe BBPBHO is charitably condescending.

Shame on the left for pretending he's the Messiah!

Shame on the right for portraying him as the Antichrist!

Uh, psst, I think he's somewhere in between like most everybody else in a Pauline kinda way.

He thinks he's saving America while acting very, uh, human.

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I have a friend who likes to say, "We sin! God saves! What a great deal!"

More than less, that's a pretty good summary of His gospel.

That friend also got into a lot of trouble at an ecclesiastical judicatory meeting in Pittsburgh about ten years ago during the floor debate over who should be the next titular head of that particular judicatory.

Parenthetically, most judicatories in mainline denominations don't actually have elections anymore for that kinda stuff because they do it on a rotational basis which inhibits nominations from the floor and debates on who should lead because it's important to alternate leadership among genders, lifestyles, ideologies masquerading as theologies, and so on.

Of course, like the grandpa in Moonstruck, I'ma so confused about who makes up those extra-constitutional mandates.

Be that as it is, my friend got up and shouted during the moderatorial debate, "Vote for Jesus!"

Hmm.

While I may be wrong on lots of what I think/discern about BBPBHO and other stuff, I know I'm right in agreeing with my friend that voting for Jesus by creed and deed is the only cure for what's ailing us.

Sadly, it also exposes what's gone so wrong in America.

I fear an acceleration of that error by the current cast of fools in D.C.

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Blessings and Love!

Monday, March 22, 2010

March 22, 2010

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

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Flipping back and forth between Tiger's latest confessions, Desperate Housewives, and the historic/catastrophic - depends on one's weltanschauung - House vote on Obamacare into late last night, I found myself forgetting which was which on so many occasions because it's hard to distinguish liars from each other.

If nobody seems to be tellin' the truth, it's hard to determine if anybody's tellin' the truth.

Their message seems the same even if they don't say it this way: "You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time. Not bad odds!"

I don't know whether last night marked the genesis of Acts 2:44-45 America or the epiphany of a neo-Marxist in Uncle Sam's clothing.

I don't know because I haven't read the whole blessed/damned - depends on one's weltanschaunng - thing.

Knowing most of the folks who advocated and voted on it hadn't read it either, I don't feel too badly; but I'm haunted by General Patton's warning: "If people tell people where to go, but not how to get there, you'll be amazed at the results."

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America appears to have become a sad SNL skit with total jackasses (What me worry?) and pachyderms (We hate to see anything happen for the first time!) polluting Congressional halls.

Am I the only one who wonders what the heaven is not going on in D.C. when all of the Democrats vote one way and all of the Republicans vote one way and both parties seem to be goose-stepping to their den leaders?

Again, Patton: "If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking."

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Much to the chagrin of church members on the right, I pray almost every Sunday for PBHO to succeed after the example of Jesus as explained in Holy Scripture.

Much to the chagrin of church members on the left, I pray almost every Sunday for PBHO to succeed after the example of Jesus as explained in Holy Scripture.

Therein lies the rub.

Nobody knows for sure whether his heart/mind/soul not to mention body belong to America not to mention Jesus by spiritual/actual birth.

While even the dimmest witted capitalists know insurance companies have been coupling with some of America's greediest to make statism so much more and more and more appealing as more and more and more people lose jobs, savings, homes, hope, and everything else related to the American dream while those fools in D.C. voted on a sixth of the national budget without reading the corpus of what they voted on, it's hard to avoid the feeling that PBHO is emerging as some kinda big brother who has a stranglehold on his party and knows better than anyone else in the other party and the clear majority of Americans who have consistently given thumbs down to what has now become law (All polling from left, right, up, and down confirm the majority of Americans disdaining what passed by only a vote of 219-212! Such a decisive victory for the most important legislation in decades!? Help us, Jesus!).

Make no mistake about it.

Last night's vote was all about BBPBHO: "This is what change looks like...Doggone it, this is exactly why I came here."

The buying of votes and backroom deals and buy-outs and sell-outs have been despicable with the most ludicrous/outrageous/deceptive being the last minute lies to get Sssssshtupid and his pro-life bloc to forgo adding stricter anti-abortion language to the bill in favor of an executive order to affirm old laws that will have no prerogative over this just passed bill as acknowledged by Constitutional experts from left and right despite the assurances of the most pro-abortion-late-term-exterminator President in US history.

Puuuhhhlease.

Does anybody with half an ounce of intelligence really believe BBPBHO would risk the support of his pro-abortion constituency so vital to the efficacy of his agenda that seems more and more and more neo-Marxist by intent/incarnation if not oratory?

Hey! Hey! Hey!

It's O.K. to admit that's what you want.

Some people are willing to forfeit their freedoms to be cradled in the arms of the state like a newborn declaring its dependence upon the milk-maker.

Just be honest about it.

He was elected by the majority of Americans; which, I guess, means Americans want what they're getting or, uh, he's giving or, uh, whatever...

Now go back to the first Patton vote.

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BBPBHO was absolutely right in the hours before the vote as he pounded that lectern and pointed fingers and waxed so eloquently about this being a vote for the ages as he warned his lemmings, uh, I mean followers, uh, I mean party not to vote on the wrong side of history.

He's right.

Time will tell.

Maybe it's time to move to statism.

Capitalism has had a good run; and God knows you know I know we know greedy capitalists have brought this upon themselves.

But there's that nagging question: "Do we really want to throw the baby out with the bath?"

Do we really think it's time for this kinda change in America?

I don't know.

BBPBHO is right on time telling the tale.

If he's wrong about what just happened, I'm wondering if there will be enough time to...

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Again, I have not read the economic sucker and I pray my discernments are wrong; but I do have a few questions that the sycophants don't want to ask.

If BBPBHO is such a non-partisan-bridge-building reconciler, why is our country more divided than ever before over this and just about everything else coming out of the Oval Office?

Is it racism?

Is it sour grapes?

Is it the fear of our first truly secular President's disguised but increasingly discerned neo-Marxist agenda?

If the current administration's own chief actuary at the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services disclosed on the Saturday before the vote on Sunday that they had not yet completed a complete cost analysis of the bill's impact upon our economy "due to the complexity of the legislation," what was the rush?

What does BBPBHO mean when he says this is just the "beginning" of change in America?

Do you feel comfortable with the expansion of IRS powers within this new legislation: confiscation of tax refunds and fines while determining if taxpayers' health insurance coverage is "acceptable"?

When has a freedom removed been restored; such as the freedom to be or not to be insured?

If government can take over this part of your life, what makes you think they won't go after that part of your life?

Do you really trust our government with your life?

Do you really think those jackasses and pachyderms know what they're doing?

Why in anybody's name would we want to model our health care or anything else after...?

Call me suspicious, cynical, sarcastic, or Shakespearean, but something's rotten in the state of...

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Don't get me wrong; and if you have been reading more KDs than just this one, I know God knows you know I'm one of those Matthew 25 and Acts 2:44-45 Christians who are compelled by Jesus to say health care should be available to anyone on the planet who needs it.

I'm convinced our continuing penchant for policing countries that don't really want us, uh, policing them is too costly as well as possibly immoral.

We like American democracy - Oops! Change that to we liked American democracy! - but lots of countries don't and what makes us think we have the right to impose...?

Why not save all of that $ and put it into health care, education, and other positively ennobling and enabling things?

As far as those Islamic terrorists go, just seal the borders, spend more $ on intelligence with a green light to pick 'em off when their diaper-heads pop up from their pits like zits on an 8th grader, and take Mayor Koch's cue and use our best conventional methods if they won't stop in the same way that Truman ended WWII or as Reagan threatened to do in out-spending the Soviets into submission.

I don't want to close the book on American democracy just yet; especially when where we seem to be headed hasn't worked for anyone else.

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Well, I've got good news for apostates, socialists, and other brain-dead relatives.

KD is shutting down for a few weeks as Kathie goes on vacation and I, uh, don't.

In the meantime, if you know anybody who wants to buy a baseball signed by the late and very great Yankee Jim "Catfish" Hunter or the entire roster of the 1985 Kansas City Royals World Series champs, let me know. I'll accept any bid that makes a dent in the plastic. Actually, I'll trade both of 'em straight up for a 2009 Road King. O.K., I'll settle for a 2008. O.K., 2007. But that's my last offer!

Unlike what's been coming out of socialists in D.C. and apostates in mainline denominations, that's the truth.

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Blessings and Love!

Friday, March 19, 2010

March 19, 2010

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

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There's a pastor in town who refers members of "his" church and "our" community to me for care and counseling on an irritatingly regular basis; as if I don't have enough to do.

He says, "I can't counsel that person because she/he and I are too close."

Oh, I get it.

He wants me to do the dirty work.

He wants to be the good, uh, cop; entrusting me with the privilege of tearing down to build up.

O.K.

Ever since I got it/Him, confessing I still mess up too regularly and rely upon His grace to fill in the gaps of my ability/attitude/affections, I've realized a pastor/person who really loves Jesus by loving like Jesus is more concerned about loving than being liked concomitant to the belief that people can never be healthy apart from a saving relationship with Him that precludes agreeing with the last person talked to.

I've come to realize wanting to be liked at the expense of loving after the pattern of Jesus and prescriptions of Holy Scripture is like ending a sentence with a preposition.

It's like the old priest said to the young priest in The Diary of a Country Priest, "Salt stings on an open wound but saves you from gangrene."

I like to be liked; but that's not part of the beruf.

I take the referrals.

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Speaking of counseling, mine has changed over the past decade.

Previously, I allowed lots of time for listening to people articulate and enumerate why they've been displaying behaviors and experiencing life apart from the healthy fruit of His Spirit as noted in Galatians 5:22-26.

It made me very popular like the pastors whose ministries are like sentences ending with prepositions as they agree with the last person talked to.

But no one was really helped.

Self-medication and auto-suggestion rarely heal.

Currently, while still allowing a little time for folks to vent, I move quickly to encouraging increased intimacy with Jesus as the cure for what's ailing 'em; prescribing with the Psalmist, "God inhabits the praises of His people."

When people move into greater intimacy with God, their problems seem to dissipate or disappear miraculously.

God has a supernatural way of healing people who hang out with Him.

I have also discovered people who say that's not true are betraying their lack of intimacy with Him.

Intimacy with God turns trickles into rivers of living water.

In a world with so many irascibles, irregulars, and irreconcilables, increased intimacy with our Lord enables us to love 'em like He loves 'em to prove we love Him.

Or something like that.

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People who are intimate with God show the evidence/proof of that relationship in behaviors, uh, confirming that communion (again, take a look at Galatians 5:22-26).

Here's a little secret that isn't really a secret to anyone who gets it/Him more than less.

If you know somebody - an occasional glance in the mirror can be disturbing/convicting - who is cranky, contentious, or any of those things beginning with "i" listed in the previous section, it's because they're not intimate with God.

It's axiomatic.

Intimacy with God = increasingly Godly behaviors (again, go to Galatians 5:22-26).

That's why I tell my children, wife, and members of our family of faith at First, "If you see me acting cranky or contentious or anything like that, you'll know I'm not spending enough time in personal/corporate worship, prayer, Bible study, and communion with Him/His; and I want you to tell me that!"

They do.

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Susan Boyle - Singer - Britains Got Talent 2009
Uploaded by matrix1087. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

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There was a person who used to be a part of a church that I served years ago who left the church because I could/would not prostitute myself enough to agree with everything that she/he pushed/wanted/demanded to prove I was worthy of her/his affirmation/affection and following her/his "favorite" pastor.

Some people can never make the transition from one pastor to another and make life miserable for successors by longing for the way things never were or maybe were but are no more; kinda like how some wives and husbands feel about never being "good enough" to satiate.

Well, you know how it goes.

Speck-inspecting.

Accusing the brethren.

99.99% of most churches just let it happen because, well, uh, geez, sigh, "we're" supposed to eat/take/swallow/propitiate it.

I did/do/will.

We're paid to be holy/abused.

I was starting to get cranky/contentious/i/i/i over her/him.

I spent more and more and more time with Him about it.

Here's what happened.

I had a dream about her/him/it; and, in the dream, I was hugging her/him/it in a holy kinda way.

As I was hugging her/him/it, I saw/heard myself screaming to God, "Please wake me up! I'm going to puke! This person hates me and has hurt my wife and children and so many members of the church. Her/his/its children can't even look me in the eye when they see me 'cause they know how vile..."

He didn't.

It went on and on and on.

I woke up.

It happens if we allow Him if you know what I mean.

While I don't think He insists I ask c/c/i/i/i's like her/him/it to ride with me to Sturgis in August on the Road King that I don't have because I still owe too much on my plastic, intimacy with God enabled me to overcome my anger toward her/him/it with a sorrow for her/his/its behaviors that will catch up with her/him/it sooner than later and...

Somebody wrote, "In a world of dragons, God has not granted permission for us to breathe fire."

The only way to extinguish flames is increased intimacy with Him.

It's the ultimate/best referral.

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Blessings and Love!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

March 17, 2010

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

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Belvidere, Illinois is blessed with funeral directors who really care about people more than "volume" and reek with integrity much like my favorite funeral home in Loves Park; and now that the area's favorite "designated pastor" for the unchurched has gone home to Jesus, I'm hoping to take his place because I feel especially called to announce good news through Jesus during those transitional moments from ecclesiastical militant to Church Triumphant.

Yeah, the extra $ doesn't hurt either; but it only adds up to the minimum wage when everything is calculated. It ain't enough to cover the plastic or put a Road King in the barn. Truth is my compensation comes from fulfilling my call to remind believers of the best life after the last breath to this one and invite the others who are just showing up because they're supposed to show up to consider the benefits of inviting Jesus into the heart as Lord and Savior.

Anyway, I met the newest funeral director in town during yesterday's memorial service; and she's exceptionally personal as well as professional with an uncommon blend of strength and sensitivity.

Of course, I really liked when she remarked after I confessed my age upon request, "I thought you were 42 or something."

It would have made my day if my day had ended then.

It began/descended about two hours after a comfortable, warm, and loving funeral reception in one of my favorite local restaurants as I took my mule out of the barn and rode to my favorite HD dealership in Woodstock to discover that the object of my current lusting and breaking of the 10th commandment had just been sold before I could ask to moonlight somewhere as a night watchman to earn some extra $ to buy it.

It bottomed out when I took my wife to McDonald's around 8:00 p.m. for coffee (me) and sundae (she) and noticed the bill was only $1.62: $1.00 for a caramel sundae and $0.50 for a senior coffee.

$0.12 for big brother.

Balance.

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I announced the graduation of an octogenarian who had served God and country so well as a Marine, police officer, autoworker, and farmer.

God knows I have the highest respect for women and men who served/serve like him.

Though I'm a Yankees fan which means I'm a city slicker by predestination more than volition, I've always liked farmers since the other Woodstock.

Farmers understand balance.

They plant in the spring.

They rejoice when it's knee-high by the 4th of July.

They harvest in the fall.

They rest and repair in the winter.

Then they do it all over again and again and again and...

They like to say, "You go with what you get."

If it's a really bad year, they say, "Don't worry because things will get better."

If it's a really good year, they say, "Calm down because things will get worse."

Whether it's bad or good, they keep keepin' on.

Balance.

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Is it just me or is our country getting more and more and more out of balance?

We keep sending big $ to countries that don't want us around while throwing around big $ to everyone except those who really need it.

Have you looked at the Presidential succession lately?

Help me, Jesus!

While I pray I'm wrong, I think the children of this generation are looking at what previous ones have allowed and are giving up to the point that they're going to make the tune-in-turn-on-drop-out-live-for-today-'cause-tomorrow-we're-gonna-die-anyway-sex-drugs-and-rock-and-roll flower children of the late 60s and early 70s look like responsible, productive, patriotic, and positive citizens.

While I pray I'm wrong, I think it won't be long before we're more concerned about domestic terrorists than the diaper-headed ones as more and more and more taxpayers lose jobs, homes, assets, hope, and everything else related to the American dream while those fools in D.C. fiddle around if you know what I mean.

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It's like my conversation with a Census 2010 worker earlier this morning.

Yesterday, the form came to our house: "YOUR RESPONSE IS REQUIRED BY LAW."

I called and asked clarification for what I had already decided to do: only answer question #1 (see KD's 3/9/10 edition).

After being put on hold for several minutes, I was told I'm right.

When asked why I'm exercising my constitutional right not to answer any of the other questions, I said, "I hope you know I'm not really angry about this because I'm not going to waste any more emotions over the sadness that I feel about what's happening to our country under the corrupt leadership of Democrats and Republicans and I'm trying not to transfer any pejoratives to you because you're just doing your job; but I'm becoming a Libertarian by politics because I just don't trust our government any more with any more information than is mandated by our Constitution. God bless you, friend."

He read off a very nice thank you and hung up.

The exchange was pleasant.

What's discerned in the concern is not.

I think that's why funerals are my favorite part of ministry.

Balance.

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Blessings and Love!

Monday, March 15, 2010

March 14, 2010

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

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After meeting with some guys to pray after some Bible study in a local coffee shop early last Thursday, I hit the can before leaving because, well, uh, you know...

Oatmeal and caffeine have that effect on me.

A really nice older woman had already stationed herself at the table that we just vacated as I strolled by to complete our exit.

Catching the familiar ecclesiastical scent of what seemed like an overdose of perfume, she appeared a little too dressed up for that early in the day; though I've learned long ago to leave such judgments to God or people who feel comfortable in His position.

I said, "Hi! I hope you have a great day!"

She said, "Every day's great since I retired; though my husband just died and I'm living alone for the first time in over sixty years."

I said, "I'm sorry to hear that; but I trust Jesus is taking care of him and trust He will take care of you."

She said after an uncomfortable pause, "Well, I hope he's not mad at me because I've been meeting with a new friend who will be here in a few minutes."

I said with no pause because it wasn't the time or place and I didn't discern if she was talking about him or Him, "God bless you!"

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Many years ago, a girlfriend warned, "Nothing is forever. We'll get over each other some day and move on to someone new."

I protested what proved to be true.

It's like I tell young pastors, "If you die on Monday, there will be salad and ham for you in Fellowship Hall on Wednesday, another pastor search committee will be elected on Sunday, and your successor will be installed in less than a year after your exit."

Maybe my old girlfriend was right.

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You've got to go to
Click Here
to see
Beck's blast at a KD staffer!



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Pastors are paid to be abused as well as holy.

It's the same for just about anybody in public/ecclesiastical/social service these days.

People feel better when they can transfer their pain/pathology to somebody else.

It's sick; but it is what it is.

That's why they sell so many punching bags at Dick's for 'em.

Again, it's like the Freudian wearing his stereotypical ascot and drawing on a Cuban said to one of my graduate study groups, "Problem people are usually constipated. That's why they dump on you."

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Pearl comes to mind.

She hated me because, uh, she hated my beard because her son who hated her though she loved him but faked hating him because people who are hated tend to hate back in a spiral of unending hatred, uh, had a beard.

Or something like that.

She made an appointment to tell me how much she "disliked" me - she hated me but Christians don't admit that kinda stuff even to themselves because they don't want to be held accountable for not loving Jesus by loving like Jesus while overlooking He's gonna do it in the end - because I had a beard.

Actually, she hated me because her son hated her which caused her to hate me as transference for...

Or something like that.

I said, "If it will make you feel better, I will shave it off."

I'd been reading in the Bible about giving up your jacket, walking the extra mile, taking up the cross, and stuff like that.

She nodded and I shaved.

When I saw her approaching me after worship on the very next Sunday, I anticipated appreciation if not affection.

She smiled as I caught the scent of her toxic perfume and said, "Now about your moustache..."

That was over 30 years ago.

How I dress and don't comb my hair and manage what grows on my face has been kept out of the mix ever since; though I will occasionally smile and think of golf or my mule when someone tries to invade that territory.

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I asked my first homiletics class at Kansas City's Nazarene Seminary in the early 80s, "Why do you want to preach?"

A young student who I guessed used mascara to darken his excuse for a moustache beamed, "Because I want to be like Jesus!"

An older second-career bald fellah with a graying beard blasted, "Yeah, you want to be like Jesus except for the crucifixion part!"

It remains one of the better illustrations of discipleship's cost that I've ever heard.

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Lent comes to mind.

We're supposed to meditate on His passion as a prompting to consider ours for Him.

Whether it's an old girlfriend, Beck, Pearl, or some other irascible, irregular, irreconcilable who is ready to dump on ya and seems more than eager to prepare that salad and ham for Wednesday and get elected to the next pastor search committee to find a more worthy successor who will eventually be treated like her/his predecessor because it is what it is, the empty tomb makes the cross easier to...

Or something like that.

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Confessionally, I've got it better than most.

Sure, I've experienced the expected miscreants who live to hate in a Christian kinda way; but they've left and remain on the outside where they must stay by order of Romans 16:17-18 until they confess and repent.

Trusting you won't tell anybody because it could dull my prophetic edge, I feel loved by people who love Jesus by loving like Jesus and they know I love them because I try to love Jesus by loving like Jesus.

Unless I'm elected Pope or something, a real long shot since earlier today when I dissed those RC "come home ads" that you can hear on disk by calling 815-544-6402 (i.e., the dissing not marketing), I'm staying until some diaperhead or mainline jingoist assassinates me or, uh, they have salad and ham on...

Again, trusting you won't tell, I feel good about that and know some people feel...

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I saw that nice yet noxiously smelling older woman that I met early Thursday morning at McDonalds early Saturday morning.

My youngest and I went there for breakfast before his undefeated basketball team went on to win their semi-final game before hoisting the big trophy later in the day.

She was sitting alone when we arrived.

Sensing she saw me but was uncomfortable about resuming our conversation, kinda like some of those people who hate you in a Christian kinda way who see you in a grocery store and then do everything possible to avoid contact, I pretended not to notice/remember her.

A few minutes later, a guy, maybe that "new" friend, came in and she snapped, "I've been waiting 25 minutes for you to show up. You could have at least had the decency to call me and tell me that you were going to be late. It's not right for me to have to..."

I tuned out, just like I do when the constipated start dumping on me, yet thought before changing channels, "I wonder what those other sixty years were like."

It is what it is.

@#$%



@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

March 11, 2010

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

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@#$%

I was sitting in a coffee shop about a week ago and somebody said, "Only the rich can afford health care in America. That's why we need Obamacare. Because I've got money and good insurance, I had a colonoscopy last week and everything went perfectly."

A guy sitting across the table who does not share his ideological sentiments snapped, "That's because you're a perfect ___!"

This whole health care reform stuff seems to be turning into class warfare; and PBHO appears to be leading the charge against the evil insurance companies, hospitals, medical professions, pharmaceuticals, Republicans, Protestants, Yankees fans, and other capitalists.

Of course, as long as those perfect ___s on both sides of the aisle in Congress keep running the show with PBHO looking more and more and more like our aspiring/apparent big brother - When's the last time he wasn't on TV pointing his accusatory finger at somebody! - I'm thinking the empire's demise will be sooner than later.

@#$%



@#$%

Speaking of such stuff, Harry Smith had a colonoscopy on CBS' "The Early Show" on 3/10/10.

With "CBS Evening News" anchor Katie Couric hovering like a hen over her chick, CBS helped recognize National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month by broadcasting Smith's colonoscopy "live from New York" - another hint that America is turning into a pathetic SNL skit - to inform/alert/alarm the ignorant masses to the importance of screening for the disease.

Assuming it's got to mean something that eludes me right now - the host was the Jay Monahan Center for Gastrointestinal Health at New York-Presbyterian Hospital (Incidentally, not, Katie has been advocating these potentially life-saving screening exams since her husband Jay Monahan died of colorectal cancer in 1998) - the name of that place is as confusing as today's latest fad-driven theology in the PCUSA and other mainline franchises.

Anyway, I thought it was a symbolic pageant continuing the conversion of journalists from reporters to makers of the news.

Couric, uh, reported Smith's colon looked "as clean as a whistle" and director, uh, I mean Dr. Mark Pochapin who reamed him gave the thumbs up.

Commenting on his heroic act to encourage Americans to do the right thing for themselves, Smith smiled and said after it was over, "Nothing to it."

I beg to differ.

I had one about ten years ago - part of the disgusting, inspecting, detecting, and rejecting stuff that begins after 50 - and I can't tell you how thrilling it was to get that IV, anesthetic, and pipe rammed into...

It probably didn't help when I asked before the procedure commenced, "Do you wash those things between appointments?"

Actually, it was a great idea.

I'm all for preventive medicine/ministry.

Psst.

If I were you, I would get mine before Obamacare becomes the law of the land.

I hear similar health reforms across the pond and to the north have resulted in really, really, really long lines, delays, and...

@#$%

While emergency rooms have become primary care for uninsured Americans, illegals, aliens, and anybody else and nobody is ever turned away when they show up in need - I know because I'm in emergency rooms almost every day and have heard similar reports from around the country - Matthew 25 and other ethical/faith-filled imperatives compel me to say health care should be available to anyone on the planet not just country who needs it.

Duh.

Jesus said, "As you do it for them, you do it for me; and if you don't do it for them, you don't do it for me."

Considering He's the ultimate bill collector...

Besides, do we really need to spend so much money policing countries that don't want us there to begin with?

We could save lots of $ for stuff like Obamacare by getting out of...

It's like redirecting voluntary per capita apportionments from bad investments to...

Those ___s in D.C. are spending/wasting so much $ on so many other absurd/inane things that our country is being run like a sentence ending in a preposition.

Why not just save all of that $ being wasted on wars that no one wants us to fight anyway and put it into health care, education, public golf courses, and other positively ennobling and enabling things?

And as far as those ragheaded terrorists go, just seal the borders and spend more $ on intelligence along with giving the green light to pick 'em off when their diapered heads pop up from their pits like zits on an 8th grader.

Or something like that.

@#$%



@#$%

A woman complains to everybody about me not visiting her because she's a shut-in; but when I go to see her, she's never home because she's always hanging out at the mall's food court.

Yesterday, I was told, "You only visit me when I'm in the hospital."

She's right.

Last year, I visited her about 25 times in one month.

Somebody who talks about everybody and I mean everybody behind their backs to me and to everybody about me behind my back...

And so it goes...

Maybe I don't really need to schedule another colonoscopy if you know what I mean.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

March 9, 2010

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

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@#$%

Though I've never been into corrective/creative combing, my sister the hair stylist provided an important reality check pour moi many years ago: "Face it, Bobby, you're bald. You look ridiculous with that fuzz on the sides. It looks like your sideburns are growing the wrong way; or you're auditioning for Larry in a movie about The Three Stooges. Just deal with it and shave your head."

I did/do.

Someone who hadn't seen my new/authentic do asked if I am O.K.

I said, "Well, my grandfather Jacob Kopp died of cancer; and I guess I got it from him. I lost my hair during the treatments. Bart and Stella's kids always called me Little Jake. So I guess I got it from him."

Within a week, I received sympathy cards from around the country.

I thought about that a few days ago when I was in a restaurant and ran into somebody who has no inhibitions about talking to others behind my back about how she/he hates me in a Christian kinda way.

I took off my jacket; revealing a fresh needle track on my right arm.

It was surrounded by dried blood.

Parenthetically, a friend/elder shames me into giving blood with him every three months.

Anyway, the gal/guy inquired with a suspicious smile, "What happened to your arm?"

I replied, "I just can't take it anymore. I've become a junkie."

I'm waiting for cards from around the country.

@#$%



@#$%

Speaking of folks who like to catalogue, Census 2010 has started.

It's a decennial tradition mandated by our country's Constitution.

Going back to the first one in 1790, it's how our government determines who gets how many Congressional seats, electoral votes, and freebies.

Wink.

While surrendered information is supposed to be confidential, you know how that goes.

You can ask Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, A-Rod, and others about our government's commitment to confidentiality.

Noting how big brother, uh, geez, I mean the government needs our complete cooperation with the census to determine important matters based on population #s, PBHO's into it: "Take about 10 minutes to answer 10 questions, remembering to include everyone in your household, because we can't move forward until you mail it back."

He has said nothing about the census being part of the "change" that we can believe in.

Wink.

The Census Bureau will report directly to "White House senior management" instead of the Commerce Secretary.

Rahm Emanuel.

Initially, ACORN was to play a big role in conducting Census 2010.

Oops.

Don't worry.

Just like there's no connection between PBHO and the most corrupt political culture in America that birthed him...

Wink.

Privacy advocates are nervous.

Minnesota Representative Michelle Bachman says she won't answer any question but the first - name, rank, serial # - because the questions are too personal and none of "their" business.

Census spokeswoman Shelly Lowe says anyone over 18 who does not answer all of the questions could be fined 5K; however, a KD source in the know says not to worry: "Before all of the bureaucratic red tape gets untangled and a bill is sent to you for not cooperating, you'll be dead."

Walter Williams: "Americans need to stand up to Washington's intrusion into our private lives. What business of government is the number of times a citizen has been married or what he paid for electricity last month?...What to do? Unless a census taker can show me a Constitutional requirement, the only information I plan to give are the number and names of the people in my household. The census taker might say, 'It's the law.' Thomas Jefferson said, 'Whensoever the General Government (Washington) assumes undelegated powers, its acts are unauthoritative, void, and of no force.'"

Wink.

WW added, "The Census bureau also asks questions about race, and I want to know what does race have to do with apportioning the U.S. House of Representatives?...For those who find such intrusion acceptable, I'd ask them whether they'd also find questions of their sex lives or their marriage fidelity equally acceptable."

Two stonewallers come to mind.

Wink.

@#$%



Tiger and Ben recently attended a seminar on How to Flush Your Professional Sports Career Down the Toilet…

@#$%

Facts.

According to our Constitution, the census is only to make an enumeration; gathering an accurate count of Americans for apportioning Congressional districts.

Buuuuuuut this census exceeds the Constitutional mandate and asks lots of personal questions: skin color, # of toilets in the house, disabilities, # of owned cars, # of appliances...

The long form asks 53 questions.

Only 1 is required by the Constitution.

Parenthetically, Constitutional defiance comes as no surprise to Christians chained to mainline denominations.

Libertarians believe Census 2010's invasion/intrusion/violation of personal privacy is part of a conspiracy to expand the size and power of government.

Fiction?

@#$%



@#$%

Maybe that's why a friend keeps urging me to give up on the jackasses and pachyderms and protect our freedoms by joining the Libertarian Party.

I don't know.

I am being drawn to Ron Paul as a viable option to PBHO and anyone else on the radar who aspires to be the next resident of the White House: "There are serious questions about how and why government will use the collected information...the census should be nothing more than a headcount. It was never intended to serve as a vehicle for gathering personal information on citizens."

Right on!

Paul is prophetic: "But our voracious federal government thrives on collecting information. In fact, to prepare for the 2010 Census, state employees recorded GPS coordinates for every front door in the US so they could locate individuals with greater accuracy!...If the federal government really wants to increase compliance with the census, it should abide by the Constitution and limit its inquiry to one simple question: How many people live here?"

More Libertarians than Republicans and Democrats like Ron Paul.

Uh, count me in.

@#$%



@#$%

Vic came to see me many years ago: "Phoebe is going to leave the church because she doesn't like our music director leading the congregation in Psalm-singing."

"But," I said, "our people like Psalm-singing."

He snapped, "I don't care what other people think or like. I just care about my friend Phoebe."

As the Emperor said to Wolfie, "Well, there it is."

Who really counts?

Ecclesiastical and government elites think only their opinions count.

I'm going to shave my head.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Friday, March 5, 2010

March 5, 2010

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

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@#$%

John Knox Presbytery did not shock the slightly left of center to evangelical world by its recent decision to defy their denomination's constitution and make a, sigh, uh, well, geez, gasp, pant, other than straight path to ordain a guy whose self-affirming, avowed, and unrepentant lifestyle is, sigh, uh, well, geez, gasp, pant, antithetical to the, sigh, uh, well, geez, gasp, pant, constitution of their/his denomination.

Considering the PCUSA's constitution is consistent with Biblical Christianity, it seems like a queer decision.

If you'd like to bone up on it, go to www.presbyweb.com, www.ChurchandWorld.com, www.layman.org, or www.pcusa.com.

Though I don't get all hot and bothered by the, sigh, uh, well, geez, gasp, pant, issue to the chagrin of friends on the left and right who seem to stiffen up whenever it rises to the levels of JKP's flagrant defiance of the PCUSA's constitution, I am interested in how folks see it from their, uh, peepholes rather than one of those videos from those stores next to...

So we did a survey:

Friend,

You are among a very select few being surveyed for this typically
unscientific KD Denominational Denouement Probe.

KD, despite generating no income to obviate my stress of plastic
pasts and forcing me to contemplate the auction of my mule
next month to finish that sad chapter for good/bad/ugly/evil,
is read by left, right, up, down, twisted, turned, and so on.

In other words, people who still think and don't act like the lemmings
populating/polluting the mainline and our least favorite two American
political parties aren't afraid to ask the questions that may...and
subscribe without tokens of gratitude.

So if you don't chime in, nobody's goin' to ring your bell when it
counts.

On to the survey.

As you know, John Knox Presbytery, meeting recently in
Madison, Wisconsin (hardly, uh, ironic), has fulfilled the fantasy
of a self-affirming, avowed, and unrepentant because he's got
"more light" to reimagine revelation from out of this world gay guy
and cleared the way for his ordination in defiance of the PCUSA's
increasingly ignored constitution (viz., BO/BC).

Questions:

1. What does this mean?

2. How will particular franchise churches respond?

3. How did it happen?

Please be as clear, concise, and compelling as I am not.

You've got 24 hours - less or maybe more depending upon the
needs of my increasingly high maintenance friends in...

Blessings and Love!

We received 127 responses (representative quotes below) with two insulting/ignorant rejoinders.

A very famous guy who has become the darling of the left-wing despite being a crypto-evangelical didn't even bother to acknowledge the request; meaning he knows who's, uh, buttering his, uh,...

A retired pastor wrote, "Please drop me from your mailing list. As long as my pension checks keep coming in and my medical benefits aren't disturbed, I don't give a damn what the denomination does anymore and I just want to be left alone with memories of better days."

C'est la guerre.

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@#$%

What does this mean?

Former PCUSA Pastor in Virginia: "Wrong question! Considering the rampant apostasy in your denomination, how did it take so long to happen?"

Retired Presbytery Stated Clerk in Alabama: "It means nothing. It is all a piece of what has been going on since the Auburn Affirmation and the destruction of J. Gresham Machen!"

Lawyer in New York: "It is a test. If it doesn't work this time, someone will try again next year."

Former Big Shot in the Reagan Administration: "MENE, MENE, TEKEL, UPHARSIN. A denomination that rejects the clear teachings of Scripture and flaunts its own constitutional agreements is effectively dead. A denomination that elevates sentiment above morality is adrift in relativism and has no witness to a broken world. Some costs are easy to enumerate: accelerated membership loss, falling offerings, weakened social credibility, spiraling descent into irrelevance. The most important cost is less obvious: the loss of its lampstand. This is neo-paganism and a rejection of the very covenant which birthed the church. The wrath of God falls hardest on those who were given the light of His grace but rejected it nonetheless. Thyatira comes to mind."

EF Pastor in Minnesota: "This decision indicates the leadership has chosen a path contradicting God's guidelines for success as found in Joshua 1:7...There is no way that God will bless this decision."

Pastor in Iowa: "It means nFOG has a leg up now: 'Well, JKP has already done this, and we can't go back now.' It means more conservative churches will give up and begin to bolt. It means, 'We don't care what you say. We're gonna do what we want.'"

Pastor in West Virginia: "Noting the guy who is getting ordained was on the PUP committee with that Mark guy from one of our seminaries, it means PUP was designed to get this done and they duped the whole denomination to go along with them. nFOG will finish it off. It will finish us off!"

Major Player in Ecumenical Renewal: "It's more of the same 'drift' into culture...The pale of death hangs over the slippery slope...or is it slop?"

Pastor in New Mexico: "John Knox is turning over in his grave; just like Elizabeth is turning over in hers as she watches her son help destroy what she prayed and labored so hard to preserve...JKP is ideological not theological; hence, no surprise...It will be appealed and gazillions will be spent that could have been used for mission...This will accelerate exits...We won't leave because we're not turning our assets and properties over to those ___s. The PCUSA is literally not worth leaving. I'm not wasting any more effort on them."

Elder in Illinois: "It means they're brain dead."

Editor of the Most Influential Ecclesiastical Rag in the World: "It means we're in for another round of Synod and then PJC decisions!...It means we're functionally living outside of our own mutually agreed upon constitution."

Pastor in South Carolina: "Realistically, it means nothing. Mr. Anderson's egocentric belief system has him deluded and convinced that he is correct and 2000 years of orthodox Christianity is wrong. I say it means nothing because it has occurred in a mainline denomination which has already surrendered any claim to honest and faithful practice. This decision will not speed up an already headlong dash to irrelevance. It will not damage a non-existent connectionalism. It will not change anything. It's already over for the PCUSA."

Editor of a Major Distributor of Ecclesiastical News: "If the courts don't overrule this, the PCUSA will go a step further down the slippery slope of being irrelevant to the Kingdom of God by not being under the authority of the self-revelation of God as found in the Bible."

Pastor in Arizona: "Theological struggles seem to take decades and centuries instead of a few short years of successful marketing. Maybe that's why God gave us KDs. We need to be engaged and encouraged! Please keep keepin' on!"

Notorious Renewalist in the PCUSA: "Isaiah 5:20...Some are doomed to hell. Others are deceived and on the brink. Jude 23."

EP in California: "The fundamental seat of power in the PCUSA has once again flexed its muscle and thumbed its proverbial nose at the church. It's not the first time and it won't be the last time. No matter what it does to the church, the apostates are saying, 'Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!'"

Businessman in Chicago: "If this person can scruple this standard for ordination, then it should follow that we can allow a person to scruple the requirement to allow female pastors. What goes around comes around!"

Lawyer in Maine: "I do not think that the fallout will be that great because the media will not cover it and most Presbyterians don't know. A body at rest tends to stay at rest."

@#$%

How will particular franchise churches respond?

Lawyer in New Jersey: "Some churches are paying attention. Most aren't. You pastors need to know something. Your denomination isn't even on the radar of American culture anymore."

Famous Newswoman: "My guess is most churches are like me. Since I no longer follow the road to hell known as the PCUSA, I have turned away from following its pathetic soap opera. It's the Titanic!"

Pastor in the Shadow of the NFL Hall of Fame: "Hand-wringing! Wishing things were different! And from our renewal groups? Sound and fury! They'll huff and puff...and do nothing for God's sake!"

Elder in Neighboring Former-PCUSA-Now-EPC Church: "Three possibilities. Say nothing. Cowards! Object and remain as 'loyal opposition.' Churches that enjoy fighting will choose this one! So much wasted energy and resources! Leave the apostate PCUSA. While this is the faithful option, faith isn't a part of the PCUSA anymore."

Pastor in Missouri: "Some will leave. Some will stay because it is politically correct to ordain gays. Some will stay for the unity of the denomination while not having the stomach to call sin sin. Some will stay and do their best to be a guiding light through the darkness of the PCUSA."

EP in Pennsylvania: "A few more will flee; making those of us who remain even more irrelevant than we are now. It's much like sex among hippopotamuses; only another one really cares. We're becoming about as relevant when compared to the world of Christian witness."

Elder in D.C.: "Please! Most churches don't know or care. They're too concerned about the correct color for pulpit hangings! The vast majority of churches don't have a clue. And they don't care! They only care about what's going on in their churches. They are isolationists!"

A Pentecostal Presbyterian: "Most likely in a cowardly way. The pastors are afraid of their superiors. They're afraid of not being able to relocate. They fear people more than God. This will be another example of who is really on God's side. At some point, believers have to choose between a bar code micro chip in the hand or forehead and buying food, clothing, heat..."

My Favorite Devotional Writer: "Ichabod!"

Keen Observer of Denominational Politics (Parochial/Ecumenical): "Some will thank God and feel emboldened to push for more!"

Software Engineer in Oregon: "Confrontation! Denomination vs. rogues and reactionaries!"

Pastor in California: "The overwhelming majority will not notice. Most will not care. A few will condemn it and be condemned for condemning it. Bizzaro Church. Some will leave. Most won't notice or care. Anyone who even questions this crap, like you, will be ostracized."

Brilliant Theologian: "Some will rejoice as they fail to see this hollow victory as the poison-pill of denominational demise."

Former PCUSAer in the EPC: "Most will accommodate. That's what you always do anyway about any apostasy."

Pastor in Arizona: "This is the last straw of apostasy. Membership will continue to plummet in all denominational churches. Believers will not darken the doors of Presbyterian churches. You better change the name out front!"

Baptist Pastor in Wisconsin: "We're duplicating more membership applications!"

Marketing Expert in California: "The response will be weak because their leadership is vapid. More members will flee evil for Biblical churches."

Retired EP in Florida: "They will do nothing! That's what we've counted on all along!"

Pastor in North Carolina: "As long as 'they' don't come after us, we'll continue to operate as an independent."

@#$%

How did it happen?

Lawyer in New York: "Duh!!!"

Mentor in a Retirement Village: "You wrote about it not too long ago! They didn't understand ordination questions or lied or changed their minds."

Pastor in Ohio: "Unconverted clergy. Unconvinced laity. See, I did read your book that nobody else buys!"

PCA Pastor in South Carolina: "It has been over a century in the making. The only surprise is it took this long. You are part of a post-Biblical denomination, Dr. KD!"

Pastor in Oklahoma: "Get out that old Martin Niemoller quote! They're coming after the believers in the PCUSA!"

Smart Guy in California: "Abundance breeds complacency. A denomination blessed with so much material wealth thought it was immune to moral decay. Entitlement is the disease and collapse is the outcome...Its aging leadership opted for secure pensions instead of the courage of its convictions. Its membership longed for the message of God's unending love and rebelled against the message of His perfect justice and sure punishment of sin."

A Pastor in My Presbytery: "Nobody cares. We are not a connectional church anymore. We have abandoned Biblical standards. Jesus has left the building! Dandy Don is singing somewhere, 'Turn out the light, the party's over!'"

Another Pastor in My Presbytery: "It goes back to Jane Spahr getting off and nobody doing anything about it. That's when we knew nobody in GA or Louisville would ever again uphold the constitution; unless, of course, it came to per capita when they lie about it being mandatory rather than voluntary!"

Renewal Expert in Illinois: "Disobedience."

Elder in Illinois: "Most laity are ignorant. People in my church still think Presbyterians believe in Jesus as the only way, truth, and life."

Somebody I Really Like But Don't See Enough: "Well-meaning, peace-loving, law-abiding, grace-advocating Presbyterians have not and likely will not hold the line. The people are sleeping. The shepherds are distracted. The bureaucracy is corrupted. 'Me' has been elevated to 'Thou' in our denomination."

Pastor in Georgia: "You're kidding, right? Who populates the bureaucracy, seminaries, specialized ministries, and so on? It's time for local churches to declare scruples against the ___s."

Pastor in Iowa: "A few generations ago, Presbyterians decided to tolerate rejection of the fundamentals of Christianity by its leaders. Can dead bones live? Asking the question is answering it!"

Pastor in Kansas: "The usual way: Romans 1:21-32."

Elder in Delaware: "Whenever people reimagine Christianity apart from Jesus and the Bible and get away with it!"

Elder in Illinois: "Presbyterians look at a man and not THE MESSAGE!"

Lawyer in Pennsylvania: "Unless the Lord builds the house...Those with Biblical understanding lacked the guts at the 1925 GA in not putting the 5 Fundamentals into the constitution. The temperature in the kettle has increased slowly but the frogs are still unaware."

Pastor in Colorado: "The logical result of PUP and the intention of nFOG."

@#$%



@#$%

Truly, I'm not really, uh, into, uh, this particular issue; primarily because I think judgmental types from left and right are a bigger problem than guys and gals getting it on with their own gender.

Psst.

I know guys who like to watch gals...

Parenthetically, I haven't heard of many gals running to those video stores to get...

You know it's true.

Getting, uh, back, uh, to it, my only personal problem on this one is with the left and its ideological hermeneutics featuring Biblical eisegesis over exegesis and the right with its pro-rating of sin which, in this case, betrays some kinda unseemly pathology.

I guess I just believe in the God-breathed authority of Holy Scripture and don't feel big enough to look at it and boast, "I know that's what Jesus and the Bible say, but I think..."

C'est la guerre.

It's a redundancy that goes back to the garden.

@#$%



@#$%

Blessings and Love!

Monday, March 1, 2010

March 1, 2010

One of our very loyal readers submitted the following picture regarding KD's column from March 1, 2010. So compliments to Dan in San Diego for sharing this with us:




"Well, its not a typical cow. The breed is going extinct.  Its a variety called the Louisville Jersey.  Milk is weak and methane production is very high. Huge carbon footprint but no discernable impact on the secular society."

March 1, 2010

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

Matthew and I went to my favorite HD dealership (click on it above to check it out below) on the day before yesterday's middle service where I messed up.

I broke the 10th commandment over a lean 2009 Road King with minimal mileage at a price as low as what I owe on my plastic.

Yeah, I messed up in the middle service as well as over 20 years with Visa.

Talking about Caiaphas and Pilate and their many reincarnations, if you believe in that kinda thing, in today's church as well as world where comfort and control dictate so much of what's going on/down/wrong, I listed some notables like Judas, Arnold, Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Amin, and Osama-been-hating; slipping and saying Obama rather than Osama in the "traditional" service that's bookended by the "monastic" and "contemporary" ones.

It reminded me of a friend in seminary who was serving as an intern near Philadelphia who meant to pray, "Oh, Lord, set our hearts on fire!"

He used a word that rhymes with hearts.

It remains the most exciting moment in the history of that church on the mainline.

Anyway, people mess up.

Just one look at the cross reinforces that reality.

As pour moi, it was brought to my attention by a few folks.

Messiah's fans didn't mind; and you can take that any way...

@#$%



@#$%

The Olympics are over; or that's what I've heard.

Winter ain't my favorite season to begin with.

It's kinda like a sentence that ends with a preposition if you know what I mean.

Besides, being a pastor in a mainline denomination, I already hang out with people working really hard to fulfill their thanatos libido; so I don't need to watch...

Yeah, that curling thing really turns me on.

It reminds me of that popular game for folks in retirement villages.

@#$%



@#$%

I don't like to be reminded of pedestrian probabilities because I still listen to Meatloaf and dream of...

The days left may not be as many as the days spent; but I'm a living poet and agree with Mr. Keating's call to suck the marrow out of life.

I believe that's His intention; rather than walking through life like you're already dead.

He wrote a letter to one of the 7 churches about that.

I'd rather ride.

@#$%



@#$%

I caught a peek at the closing ceremonies from Canada; and while a favorite hottie performed, it was really great to see Mr. Soul in action.

Though Chuck doesn't get it/him because he doesn't get bikers either, I spent a long time in prayer after that; thinking about a younger man who just left ministry to follow his dream.

Actually, the fellah was forced out of ministry by folks who will applaud what just happened in John Knox Presbytery - sorry about the parochial thing that you can read about via www.presbyweb.com or www.ChurchandWorld.com or www.layman.org or, in a glossy and enabling way, www.pcusa.org - but can't handle, well, uh, geez, let me think,...go back to Caiaphas and Pilate for hints.

He's taking up acting.

While I wish he hadn't given up on his day job - it takes one to know one and God knows he knows I know writing ain't gonna pay off the plastic and put a Road King in the barn - I'm kinda envious.

He may fail.

But someday when we're sitting across from each other in one of those warehouses for the aged...

@#$%



@#$%

I just changed the message on my cellular.

It's symptomatic.

I'd list the # for you but I really don't want any more messages from clergy, Democrats/Republicans, and other saleswomen/men; yet it is kinda fun in slowing down folks who are too busy to...

You can call my day job # and ask for it (815-544-6402).

I refuse to take an antidote for the Peter Pan infection.

Looking at grown-ups, it's obvious why Jesus liked children better.

Oh, Lord, set my ___ on fire!

And you can take that any way...

@#$%



@#$%

Blessings and Love!