Friday, April 30, 2010

April 30, 2010

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)


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Kathie's KD Corner!


"How you gonna show me how to get to heaven if you don't even know the way to the post office?"

If you read the last KD (scroll down to 4/29), you may remember that story.

Anyway, after I told that story during a recent worship service, I asked a few rhetorical questions: "How are you going to show people how to love like Jesus if you don't love like Jesus?...How are you going to show the world the advantages of Christianity if you don't show the advantages of Christianity?...How are you going to show people how to experience the peace, calm, and confidence of Christianity if you don't show the peace, calm, and confidence of Christianity?...How are you going to show the world how to get along through Jesus if you can't even get along with your sisters and brothers through Jesus?...How are you going to show the benefits of Christianity to others when your life is a billboard for everything negative that's ever been said about Christianity?...When are you going to practice what you preach?"

Personally, I don't know how that last interrogative got in there.

Maybe my wife opened up Microsoft Word while I was sleeping and inserted it in my sermon notes.

Again, "How you gonna show me how to get to heaven if you don't even know the way to the post office?"



Dang, I hate that song.

It makes me feel so guilty.


"No one can make you feel anything without your consent."

Eleanor Roosevelt said that.

I agree.


My new friend Johnny was really ticked when I referred to Muslim terrorists as diaperheads; prompting a question that stung: "And this person calls himself a pastor?"


I want to be a good guy, husband, dad, pastor, son, brother, friend, and so on; and though the aforementioned allusions to relatives often remind me that I'm not measuring up to their expectations - especially ___'s - it's always at the forefront of my personal petitions.

Johnny caught my attention.

Candidly, which is a redundant expression for what KDs are all about, I still think the metaphor fits; but I decided to write to him as a brother and begin some correspondence about his concerns/indictments.

While I think we're still gonna disagree on lots of stuff - assuming he leans to the left as he assumes I lean to the right which is terrible pigeon-holing because I really don't know him and he doesn't really know me and pigeon-holing is a pathetic pathology exercised as some kinda emotional/intellectual masturbation even though I struggle with being a Christian by confession who leans Libertarian politically while not knowing where the heaven/otherwise he's coming from - I have grown to like him even though I don't think it's quite reciprocal.



Jesus makes me love everybody.


Dang again.

And if I practice agape long enough, I find myself really starting to like people who I once thought I could only love if you know what I mean; and if you don't, do a google search on past KDs for the definition: praying and laboring for the highest good for others regardless of who, what, where, or when without the need nor expectation of response, regard, or reward.

Dang, sometimes I really don't like Jesus because He makes me love so much; and then after loving someone so long, I start to like 'em.


Of course, that doesn't mean I agree with 'em.


Speaking of Johnny, I asked him to write down why he was/remains so ticked off at me and threw my pastoral butt under the bus.

He started, "I realize it was used satirically, but I think some language is simply out of bounds. We rightly condemn the use of the 'n' word when directed at the African-American community whether it is used by a white racist or an African-American rapper. Arabs and Muslims feel similarly degraded by words such as 'diaperhead.'"

O.K., I hate the 'n' word; so that catches my attention.

He continued, "I am not accusing you of being a racist. But whether used satirically or not, I will condemn the usage of racially/culturally/religiously charged language. The world is too volatile a place for such talk."

O.K., by using slashes in his sentence, my affection increases; and, dang, I did say there are lots of Muslims who are especially fragile and, yeah, I don't want to add to their volatility and...

He confronted, "I would also call into question the use of the word terrorist when directed at the Islamic world. It is interesting to note when a white, Christian American directed his anger at the US government by flying a plane into an IRS office in Austin, no one called him a terrorist. He was called deranged. If he had been a Muslim, he would still be a front page story to this day, labeled as an Islamic terrorist."

O.K., but as I recall, he was labeled akin to tea partiers; though I referred to him as a diaperhead. Sorry. That's not true. I said he was a ___head.

He revealed, "Here in D.C., I have the privilege of being a part of US government sponsored interfaith dialogues with Muslim leaders around the world. I have learned a great deal. Among those learnings is the feelings of these leaders that their communities, far more than us, are the victims of violent extremism within their own ranks...They see the violence of some Muslims as aberrations/distortions of Islam in the same way I consider several lethal attacks on abortion clinics to be aberrations/distortions of Christianity and my rabbi friends consider the violent acts of some settlers in Israel to be aberrations/distortions of Judaism. I remember hearing the Dali Lama respond to a question about why some Buddhists in Cambodia have been so violent. He responded, 'There are some very bad people who are Buddhists, just as there are some very bad people who are Christians, Jews, and Muslims.' Perfectly said."

O.K., agreed, some people are ___heads (you fill in the blank according to whatever PC dictionary works for ya).

He concluded, "Rather than rant about terrorism, we need to reiterate Jesus' teachings which condemn the use of violence. Until people turn to dialogue rather than violence...The future of our children depends on it."

O.K., agreed, but, geez, having been to the Middle East so many times and having studied in Germany not long after the Munich massacre in the early 70s and talking to a Black September creep who told me to get out of the way as "they" did their thing to do their thing... Let me quote myself from my book that never threatened the sales of Ricky and Houston's Big Tooth, "Trying to be rational with the irrational is illogical" (Fifteen Secrets for Life and Ministry).


I like Johnny.

He thinks my satire could make things worse with Muhammad's blood relatives by inciting them to more bad behaviors.

I think he's naive in thinking too many of those ___heads will ever listen to anybody or abide by anything, uh, resembling civilized behaviors.

But, dang, I like him; and he's caught my attention.



Often, during nuptials, I refer to the twelve words that keep marriages together:

I was wrong.
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
I love you.

Anyone who doesn't recognize that as consistent with Christianity at His best is a real ___head.

"How you gonna show me...?"


Blessings and Love!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

April 29, 2010

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)


There was a little boy waiting for his mom to come out of a grocery store.

A man stopped his car, rolled down the window, and asked, "Son, can you tell me how to get to the post office?"

"Sure," the boy replied, "just go straight down this street a coupla blocks and turn right at the stop sign."

After thanking the boy, the man said, "I'm the new pastor in town; and I'd like to invite you to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get to heaven."

Shaking his head, the little fellah asked with a smile, "How you gonna show me how to get to heaven if you don't even know the way to the post office?"



Speaking of folks who don't know their way around town, one of 'em really hates me for trying to expose the dark side of Islam; writing this in response to the last KD (scroll down to 4/25) which appeared on my favorite churchy website (viz., or, in ecumenical circles,

Dear Editor:

I was stunned that you would include a blog post from Kopp Disclosure
that refers to Muslims as "diaperheads." And this person calls himself
a pastor? The hate being generated in this country seems to know no
bounds. I am a big defender of free speech. But a person's right to
say something does not mean we have to repeat it.

John Wimberly
Pastor, Western Presbyterian Church
Washington, D.C.

Though I'm kinda weary of such syrupy sentimental PCed drool by those who wanna rap with the irascible, irregular, and irreconcilable, Johnny caught my attention because we're in the same franchise and I was born in D.C. So I responded to his response:

Dear John,

Thank you for sharing your opinions/thoughts/inductions on my
satirical piece. I am stunned that you are "stunned" about such
a minor metaphorical point in the face of such a major assault
on civilization. Having read your stuff every now and then, I'm
stunned that you only seem to be "stunned" when someone
disagrees with your weltanschauung. Geez. While my
attempt at humor offended yours, talk about hate-speech.
Whoa. Lighten up, friend. And you call yourself a...

As I ask your forgiveness for offending your sense of
whatever from wherever for whomever, I forgive you for
speck-inspecting while...

You seem like one of those really nice guys who forget,
as King paraphrased Jesus, the precarious balance
of being tough-minded while tender-hearted as well as
vice versa.

I'm not saying I always or even mostly get it right; and
I thank you for causing me to pause on that one.


Actually, "diaperhead" is a euphemism for what I think
about Muslim terrorists and those who defend their, uh,
sigh, honor (?).

Blessings and Love!

Again, geez, whoa, sigh, gulp.

Well, if you want to enter the debate, go to or and chime in! Really. Maybe some hate-filled redneck like me will read it and feel sorry for me and send some big $ so I can pay off my plastic, lasso a Road King for the barn, and send Kathie and her main squeeze to Hawaii. Really.

In the, uh, as Johnny would say, meantime, Martin Roules, among many others who wrote to me but ain't making this edition or any other 'cause KD doesn't get into tinkling contests with skunks, wrote to 'em in a way that caught the intention of KD that Johnny missed through his ideological filter that seems immune to the headline at the top of the blog ( but, really, go to for more massively irritating stuff):

Dear Editor:

Text out of context is pretext. Rev. John Wimberly wrings
his hankie and worries about Islamofascists being called
"diaperheads" by Rev. Bob Kopp.

Had Rev. Wimberly quoted the context accurately, he
would have discovered the obvious satirical nature of
the Rev. Kopp concerning hyper-active Muslims who
slaughter people for the slightest remark about

To quote: "Those diaperheads target everybody for
death - fatwamania - who blink the wrong way at
their religion from nice old missionary nuns to
novelists, cartoonists, comedians, and, uh, you
if you dare to, uh, talk about their walk in less
than reverential ways; which, gulp, is why they're
even attacking those lovable little satirists in
South Park."

Those who read Kopp's lively blog regularly
( know he is both
profound and satirical while always keeping his eye
on Jesus. That may surprise some mainline ministers,
who often forget who it is who established the church
from the beginning.

Considering how many good Americans have died at
the hands of "people of the towel wrapped head extraction,"
I would suggest a greater concern for the slain than the
hyper-sensitivities of the extremist cum terrorists, who
can't wait to slaughter some American Christians of any
denomination. The only tolerance they crave is our
silence from the grave.

Rev. Wimberly should place his emphasis on the majors,
not the minors, and learn how to laugh.

Martin Roules




The visionary leader/founder of the Confessing Church Movement will be preaching for our family of faith on May 30.

He started it about 15 years ago because mainliners seem to forget/ignore/defy Jesus as Lord of all and the Bible as authoritative over all matters of faith and morality; or as Paul Roberts likes to say, "If the church is going to keep its lampstand, it must look up, stand up, speak up, and act up for Jesus."

Of course, every Paul has his Johnny.

Paul's once said to him, "For what you are doing to our denomination, I am ashamed to have been your pastor."


Johnnies have a way of really hate-hurting when they don't like...

They even do it to, uh, whoa, sigh, gulp, their own sisters and brothers.

Or maybe they're not really...

Perish the thought.

He will in the end.

Anyway, Paul came to mind when Johnny slapped my, uh, satire.

I also thought of the metaphor at the beginning of this edition: "How you gonna show me how to get to heaven if you don't even know the way to the post office?"

I don't expect Johnny to get that either.

But I do expect a scolding for bad grammar.


Blessings and Love!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

April 25, 2010

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)


The United States Army has dishonorably discharged Franklin Graham.

Billy's son really likes Jesus.

He thinks Muhammad was/remains an imposter (euphemism).

He's not afraid to talk about it (see 1 John 4:1-6).

Ergo, unlike mainliners and politicians who join hands with BBPBHO and the media (mainstream and otherwise) to bend forward for 'em in among the most twisted expressions of ecclesiastical/political correctness in American culture, he gone!




Don't tell anyone; but, unlike one of the few famous religious guys left in America who really talks about Jesus being who He said He is which is why the Army booted him, the aforementioned are afraid of Muslims because bad/diabolical Muslims - only 10% of 'em which is only about 130 million of 'em according to reliable estimates - more than talk about chopping off the heads of folks who diss their main man.


"Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?"



Those diaperheads target everybody for death - fatwamania - who blink the wrong way at their religion from nice old missionary nuns to novelists, cartoonists, comedians, and, uh, you if you dare to, uh, talk about their walk in less than reverential ways; which, gulp, is why they're even attacking those lovable little satirists in South Park.


So many Muslims are so emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually fragile - insecure about their religion as expressed in horrifically irrational and uncivilized rage to prove their, uh, whatever it is they're trying to prove in addition to being nuts - that they jump up and down like Pentecostals on crack at the slightest, uh, slight.

Unlike other religionists who just wanna be left alone to do His thing as they get it/Him - yeah, O.K., some of 'em invite others to the party - Muslims insist on bombing, butchering, huffing, puffing, and blowing down anyone who can't/won't be convinced/converted.

Franklin wrote about that in The Name (2002), a book about how the name of Jesus inspires/provokes awe/animosity in American culture which every mainliner not to mention Democrat/Republican should read to remind 'em of what they've forgotten/ignored/defied, which provides a big part of the context for his dishonorable discharge: "Islam - unlike Christianity - has among its basic teachings a deep intolerance for those who follow other faiths. Much is said and published today about how peace-oriented Islam is; however, a little scrutiny reveals quite the opposite...That does not mean that all to harm those of other faiths...Let's not be naive. Islam is a proselytizing religion...the Koran approves holy war (jihad) and high taxation against non-Muslims in order to make them submit to Islam."

Kinda sounds like mainline denominations, Democrats, and Republicans.


Not really.

Dumb dogs don't bark as danger approaches.


Getting back to Graham on Jesus which is why Muslims, mainliners, mainstream media types, Democrats, Republicans, and the Army don't like him, he wrote, "Just why is it that the Name of the Lord Jesus causes such a fuss?"

Answer: "Jesus Christ represents the division of life between good and evil, God and Satan, light and darkness, righteousness and sin, heaven and hell. The Name of Jesus shouts out a choice: 'Whom will you serve...depend upon?' Rebellious, self-willed, sinful people want to retain the right to decide for themselves which way they will take. Jesus denies this option. Speaking on His behalf, the Apostle Peter said, 'For there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.'"

Continuing, "Jesus is gentle, but He is not weak. He loves the sinner but is absolutely intolerant of sin. He is not a negotiator. He is Lord."

Concluding, "It is this bristling truth that invites intolerance toward Christians. Jesus did not say, 'Do your own thing; all roads lead to God.' That would have made Jesus 'politically correct,' but Jesus is not politically correct. He is Lord."

That's the kinda talk that's getting Graham into so much trouble with the Muslims and, uh, mainliners, mainstream media types, Democrats, Republicans, Army, and...

For example, recent surveys have exposed up to 50% of mainline pulpiteers and 75% of mainline pewsitters don't agree with the claims of Jesus being echoed by Graham.

Couple that with BBPBHO who delights in saying, "America is not a Christian nation."

Couple that with courts swearing in folks on Holy Scripture and then ruling the Ten Commandments are not fit for public display or the National Day of Prayer for public consumption.

Couple that with an American ecclesiastical/political/social culture increasingly antagonistic to the Judeo-Christian heritage/framework of America as increasingly attested by assaults on Christianity by, uh, geez, gulp, sigh, all of the below.

That's why Graham was dishonorably discharged from the Army - disinvited from speaking at the Pentagon on the National Day of Prayer (May 6).

It seems almost eschatological.


Getting back to Graham on Islam, he wrote in that book that seems to have started all of this, "The Bible teaches that individuals have a free will in making decisions about God; Islam often relies on force, intimidation, or conquering entire nations to recruit converts."


Now he's ticked off the hyper-Calvinists.

Ah, let's hear him out anyway: "Islam takes a hard-line approach to adherents of other faiths. A non-Muslim can easily become one, but if a Muslim decides to convert to Christianity or another religion,...he risks almost certain death. Muslims are free to worship Allah, and even proselytize in the United States, but Christians are not free to worship the Son of God, the Lord Jesus Christ, or openly discuss their faith in most Muslim countries."

What's good for the goose ain't good for the...

"The Christian message," he noted, "is God's love and forgiveness of our sins through faith in Jesus Christ - a gift that an individual is free to accept or reject. Although there have been disgusting acts done at times by wicked people claiming the name of Jesus, Christ Himself never advocated holy-war tactics, violence, misrepresentation, bribery, or coercion to make converts."

But that old Muhammad dude...

Brutalizing "Christians" did/do not inherit/learn their behavior from Jesus.

Don't blame Jesus for Christians!

On the other hand...

But why confuse fiction with facts for friends in D.C., mainline denominational headquarters, and...?

Finally, "Jesus Christ is the One who elevated women and gave them a place of honor. Islam teaches not just that men and women have different functions and roles, but that men are actually superior to women...Muhammad supposedly stated that the testimony of a woman is worth half the testimony of a man, because a woman's brain is deficient...For anyone to say that the two faiths worship the same God is incredibly uninformed. As someone so eloquently has said, 'The god of Islam requires you to give your son to die for him. The God of the Bible gave His Son to die for you.'"

Yeah, I can see why Muslims hate him/Him and couplings with the Army have conspired to dishonorably discharge him/Him from more than a day of prayer.


I spent several hours with a pastor last week who is bleeding to death in a highly conflicted church.

He said, "It's almost as if people are just looking for something to fight about; or looking for some reason to leave the church."

I understand; and if you don't, you've got your head in the sand akin to the aforementioned about Islam.

It's kinda like the preceding.

Islam is an angry religion; and Muslims, lots yet admittedly not all, always seem to be looking for...

Couple that with an increasingly angry nation...

I think now would be a good time for the Prince of Peace to come back.

Getting back to dishonorable discharges...



Blessings and Love!

Friday, April 23, 2010

April 23, 2010

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)



I haven't been to a reunion since I went to one about 25 years ago.

It was the 15th for my high school class.

Aside from everyone trying to reincarnate the fantasies of Meatloaf like Cub Scouts in heat, I was kinda nauseated by resurrected cliques along with preening by those who'd made it and rationalizing by those who didn't live up to "most likely" yearbook prognostications.



Ruthie, who dumped me for an eventual NFL quarterback, rushed up to me - appearing really psyched to see me or needing to locate a restroom - and got closer than Miss Jones would ever allow during dances after games as she whispered, "Save the last dance for me."

Though especially full of myself at the time, having climbed to the top of the ecclesiastical ladder of success so prematurely, I remembered being dumped, joined Stanley, who was smarting from nobody seeming to care that he had evolved from nerd to successful California businessman, at the bar, and then slipped out an exit behind the band; but not before Donna, who I never should have dumped for Ruthie, came up to me and tried to...

I'm not going to the 40th.



Presbytery meetings - that's when a bunch of "Presbyterian" clergy/elders spend a lot of money on gas and "person-hours" in a tight economy that should inspire better stewardship to get to meetings that accomplish next to nothing for God's sake - come to mind.

They're kinda like reunions.

Lots of preening and rationalizing.

The left is really preening these days because they're winning on most of the big issues; or putting it another way, they're leading the charge to our denomination's demise quicker than poop through a goose.

Moderates to those on the right are rationalizing their marginalization/irrelevance/defeat; or putting it another way, they're, uh, marginalized, irrelevant, and defeated.

Anyway, because there's not much going on apart from the preening and rationalizing - except, maybe, an occasional vote on what we voted on last year and the year before that ad nauseum as if God's mind keeps changing along with an increasingly apostate denomination mirroring an increasingly secular nation - I join some buddies who check in and then go out for a long lunch before checking in before meetings that accomplish next to nothing for God's sake adjourn.

Besides, just like the cliques at class reunions, presbyters hang out with people of like, uh, mind/recollection.

I think most people are like that.



Of course, I like spending time with my ecclesiastical buddies; and, O.K., I wouldn't mind catching up with Donna, Richie, Bobby, and...

No, not Ruthie.

Ain't gonna be a last dance.


My golf clubs come to mind.

I played a God-awful round with some of my best friends not too long ago; then went home and replaced several clubs with some very, very, very old clubs that always worked pour moi but were replaced by promises of playing better with new clubs.

Since putting my old friends back in the bag, I've been feeling if not playing better.


It's like a friend said when I was on the verge of a very big mistake, "Your greener pasture was someone else's brown field."

Maybe some reunions...



Blessings and Love!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

April 17, 2010

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)


I wear a helmet whenever I ride; but I'll get to that later.

That came to mind as a pastor in Maryland wrote in response to my confession (scroll down to last KD) about resisting the insistences of family and friends but not foes about wearing a helmet when mounting my mule, "In the name of Jesus, wear a helmet dumbass!"

God knows I hope the folks trying to control me on that know I appreciate their concern for my un-chromed dome; but since knowing Jesus, I'm not afraid of death as long as it's quick, painless, and not at the hands of diaperheads who really want to follow the leader of their sun-not-Son-baked religion.



Let me excerpt from my forthcoming book on biker culture as metaphor and challenge to the church - yes, it will be forthcoming as soon as some publisher takes a risk on something authentic to the culture with a Christological twist - on why I resist the insistences:

Bikers don't like to fight unless they're drunk, someone's messin' with
their old lady or old man, or one outlaw MC has violated another's turf.

But if you want to start a fight with bikers, just say something like this:
"Everyone who rides a motorcycle should be required by law to wear a

That'll start a war that would make the Outlaws and 81ers proud!

Though I started biking a long time ago In Pennsylvania when
helmets were required by state law, I'd always take it off as soon
as I crossed into a state that didn't require me to wear one; and now
that I'm living in a state that doesn't require me to wear one, I don't
for several practical, rebellious, and ideological reasons: (1) I feel more
at-one with my surroundings without a helmet; (2) I am convinced an
experienced rider is safer without one because peripheral vision is
expanded along with increased awareness of sights, sounds, and
smells that are integral to increasing margins of safety; (3) I have an
overriding aversion to anyone who isn't educated or experienced
telling people who are educated and experienced how to do what
they don't do; (4) I'm weary of the intellectual inconsistency of cultures,
for example, that threaten the safety of the unborn but insist I wear
a helmet for my safety; (5) Farmers are right: "Don't interfere with
somethin' that ain't botherin' you none!"; (6) I actually wear one
when riding through big cities just in case some smart___ thinks
bikers are good targets for drivebys and from overpasses; and (7)
I wanna give hope to people who hate me in a Christian kinda

That's why I'm increasingly committed to the Libertarian Party.

Libertarians understand freedoms removed are rarely restored.

If government can force you to wear a helmet, they can force you to...

It's a slippery slope.

Yeah, I know America is turning into a nanny state as more and more and more folks are just tickled pink to give up their freedoms as long as big brother provides a six pack for the game along with a daily enema.

But there are still some of us who cherish those inalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Though those are increasingly foreign notions to Democrats, Republicans, and mainliners, they are at the core of the American soul as birthed by the Hebrew Scriptures and New Testament.

Martin Luther King, Jr. put it this way after going to the mountaintop: "The cry is always the same! We want to be free!"

Dr. King, like any God-honoring patriot knows, gave his life like the Founder of his faith gave His to enable that inalienable right to be who God created us to be which always honors Him and never inhibits the freedoms of others who are being who God created them to be because God and the Godly aren't as so damned double-minded as mainliners, Democrats, and Republicans are about freedom.

If you are one of those people who are trying to control the personal and socioeconomic liberties of others because you know so much better than they do about how they should conduct their lives, you are part of the dark conspiracy forcing people like me to wear a helmet whenever we ride.

I'll get back to that.



Some folks ride through life without the only helmet that really helps.

#7 of the Pittsburgh Steelers comes to mind.

He's a sexual predator.

He doesn't understand that personal freedoms do not include violating the personal freedoms of others; and within a Biblical context, God designed freedoms to complement each other for everybody's benefit rather than contradictions/contentions as if He ordered the freedoms of some as more important than the freedoms of others.

Big Ben doesn't understand that; thinking he's entitled to some trim whenever, wherever, and with whomever even if it infringes upon the freedoms of others who don't want to get it on with greaseballs like him.

He doesn't understand the parameters of true freedom; being free to be who God created you to be which will never inhibit or infringe upon the freedoms of others by divine design.

Like Tiger who didn't have the class to congratulate Phil after the Masters because he was whining about not adding another green jacket to his closet, BB is a spoiled brat narcissist.



A reporter in Pittsburgh confided to me, "It's Ben being Ben like Manny being Manny."

Then she/he got down to it/him: "Having covered Ben at the time of his arrival in Pittsburgh for the newspaper, trust me, he has changed dramatically. He has gone from a normal guy to a prima donna superstar...He was amiable and approachable then, but surly and egotistical now. He goes anywhere in public with a bodyguard who makes sure Ben gets to be Ben which is not for good for the so-called "Steelers Way" of doing things...Ben treats the media with disdain and considers fans to be bothersome pests."

Concluding, "The Steelers will suspend him for a couple of games; but a trade? I cannot foresee that. But as you preach, we all make mistakes and can be redeemed: 'I'm not where I want to be yet, but thank God I'm not where I was!'"


Another insider from Pittsburgh shared as assured of the KD policy of absolute confidentiality even if yours truly is threatened (increasingly common), "Imagine my shock that the black receiver gets ridden out of town on a rail while the predatory white farm boy from Ohio gets another chance to paw another girl."

Lamenting, "If old Art were still around or if Dan were still interested instead of wandering around Ireland looking for the Fountain of Guinness, I think there is a better than even chance that Big Ben would find himself back in Ohio muttering, 'What the hell am I doing here?'"

Continuing, "Big Ben is an oversized adolescent whose mom or dad needs to kick him dead in his wide white ___! Can him now! He could be a real asset to other moral giants like the Bungles, Browns, or Ravens. If the Steelers keep him, they can no longer claim the high road of professional sports."

Concluding, "I'm waiting for his diagnosis of sexual addiction. That is the AMA/APA "new speak" for horny pig. The Steelers better man-up on this or stop pretending their way is any better than anybody else's."


Here's what I've heard from my connections in Pennsylvania law enforcement and the media.

His bodyguards have always enabled his boorish behavior for the price of being close to their stud.

This wasn't the first time (documented) and was hardly the second time (undocumented).

In this particular episode, his bodyguards physically prevented the victim's friends from interceding; and BB who measures his manhood by his unhelmeted phallus didn't take the barely legal child into the commode to go over the Steelers playbook or discuss Shakespeare.

Let's set the record straight.

The down-zippered-weany-wagging nearly 30 year old scumbag fed shots to a barely 20 year old starstruck fan who was almost dead drunk and...



He's a sexual predator.

Everybody who is close to him knows that.

He feels entitled by his position as quarterback of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

It's his license to steal.

Here's the tough one.

Every black player in the NFL - not to mention loudmouths like Al and Jesse - will be watching very closely to see if those moral giants in the Steelers' boardroom who are always so eager to remind others of their responsibilities to the integrity of the league have the cajones to execute equal treatment for BB juxtaposed to...

Black Pittsburghers - go to the newsreels or just talk to our sisters/brothers on the street - are already saying what's good for Holmes is good for...

The Steelers won Super Bowls before BB came to town and they will win more after he's gone.

He is not worth the continuing shame that he brings to one of the most storied sports franchises in the world.

It's time for the Steelers to remind everyone how they attained such an esteemed heritage.


Getting back to helmets, I wear one whenever I ride.

With so many cranky/contentious people in the world, you're crazy not to wear one.

And now that a federal judge in Wisconsin has ruled the National Day of Prayer is unconstitutional...

And now that BBPBHO has pulled the plug on our space program as attested in his proposed 2011 budget that calls for $19 billion for space and $159.3 billion for wars against/in countries that hardly affect our national security as most literate folks continue to protest...

And now that Democrats and Republicans seem O.K. with our slide from free enterprise to...

And now that any connection between mainline denominations and Jesus, Biblical faith and morality, and sanity is only coincidental...

And now that...

Yeah, everybody needs a helmet.

See Ephesians 6:10ff.

It's better than the kinda protection not being used by Ben Roethlisberger.



Blessings and Love!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

April 14, 2010

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)



The editor of my favorite biker magazine ( and some techs at my favorite HD dealership (click on the icon just above this edition) have convinced me to check the air pressure in my mule's tires more regularly before something happens that will generate giddiness among mainline apostates, America's socialist sympathizers whose idolatry of BBPBHO is only matched by religionists who can't distinguish their navel-gazing from Godly revelations, and other assorted dolts longing for the way things never were or maybe were but are no more.

Most folks - even the ones who hate me in a Christian kinda way - don't pray for or dwell on my demise; which is why so many family members, friends, and congregants continue annoying me about wearing a helmet despite practical, rebellious, and ideological rationalizations that you can review when my book on biker culture as metaphor and challenge to authenticity - I Just Wanna Ride (FTW) - is picked up by a publisher who wants to make $ at my expense.

Parenthetically, just like helmet, seat belt, and smoking laws (weed and tobacco) without reference to IRS-enforced health care plans and the like, most Americans are really Libertarians at heart/heritage even if they can't articulate their politics/theologies; because most patriots are committed to the personal liberties opposed by Republicans and the socioeconomic liberties opposed by Democrats. It's not that we don't think it's prudent to take a few precautionary steps in our lives. It's just that we don't feel/believe/like the government dictating to us.

It's a freedom thing.

Most Americans recognize our nation was founded on Biblical principles of freedom; meaning we have an inalienable right to be who God created us to be which always honors Him and never inhibits the freedoms of others who are being who God created them to be because, well, uh, geez, sigh, God isn't as double-minded as mainliners, Democrats, and Republicans are about that kinda stuff.

So until I find a cheap air compressor for the barn, I'm paying about a buck a month to stay inflated.

Forget the helmet.

I appreciate your concern; but, uh, it's really none of your/their business.



Speaking of not going flat, the last KD (4/12/10) sparked some interesting feedback.

A pastor in Florida wrote, "You said, or prayed, 'God, I hate to fly.' Amen! Amen! Amen! Surly airline employees, ignorant passengers, and a corporate jackal-like hunger for increasing fees. I mean, really, $45 to carry your computer on board? You ride your mule! I'll take my convertible!"

A pastor in Georgia listed the four Ps killing churches: "Pettiness. Politics. Power. Personal Preferences."

An elder/politician in Pennsylvania was encouraging: "You said, 'Only dumb dogs don't bark as danger approaches.' That's what the Confessing Church Movement was trying to tell the PCUSA. That's what those tea parties are trying to tell America. Interesting how church publications shy away from both. Thanks for barking; even if you don't like to bite!"

A hacker from somewhere was angry: "Why didn't you write anything about Phil winning the Masters? Didn't you catch the contrast between Phil the family man and Tiger's real faith: bootyism? And how about the graciousness of Westwood compared to the spoiled brat narcissism of Woods? You missed that one, KD!"

Pastor Search Committee in California: "Another pastor keeps forwarding your epistles to us. We like your style as well as substance. Though you sound content, would you consider relocation? You can play golf and ride your MC out here all year round. Seriously, let us know if you are interested. We've done some checking and think it would be a great match!"

Ecclesiastical bureaucrat in Florida: "I wish you'd just shut up! We don't need you upsetting people about what's going on in our denomination. Your job is to tell them to get involved in the process and support us even when they disagree. If people like you didn't tell people about our problems, we'd be a lot better off. Of course, I can see from your constant whining about nobody paying for subscriptions that like-minded friends are as sparse and few as your other friends in the evangelical wing of our denomination."

Church member at First: "Even if you don't hear it from others in our church who don't know how to thank you for being our pastor, I appreciate you and pray for our Lord's best in your life every day."



Though I didn't like Jack (scroll down to the last KD), that was my fault and not his.

God loved/loves Jack no more nor no less than He loves me or anybody else.

That's the good news of Christianity.

Anyway, I thought about Jack during a memorial service for a woman on Monday who birthed, nurtured, and continues to inspire one of the most patriotic families that I've encountered in a while.

She wanted me to read a few paragraphs at her memorial service that were preached by Dr. John Gordon who was the pastor of Rockford, Illinois' Second Congregational Church for over 40 years ending about 50 years ago:

There is one basic fact about life which all of us need to remember over
and over again: that there is no life situation which is ideal. No human
being has a world which is exactly what he wants.

You and I tend to forget this fact; especially when we are tired, confused,
or upset by an unfortunate combination of little annoyances.

We feel that if we could only change places with someone else we know,
we would be happy and satisfied; or if we could locate another job in
another community , we would be contented; or if we could change our
home, or begin all over again with someone else, how ideal that would be.

But what are the real facts?

No one on earth has an ideal life situation. Every person you
trying to find happiness and satisfaction in a partially unsatisfactory world.
Your problem of adjustment may seem unique. It isn't. It is universal.

If you and I want to make our lives useful and helpful, we must distinguish
between the parts of our life which we can control and the parts which we
cannot control. We must assume the responsibility for the first - that part
that is under our control. We must leave with God the responsibility for
the second - the part we cannot control.

It is a great lesson to learn - to do our part with the life situations we can
manage and then leave in the hands of a Higher Power the situations
we cannot manage.

That's probably why I have told my three favorite funeral directors that I'm always available to preside at memorial services.

Unlike so much of the other stuff in church and society, people really pay attention during memorial services and can't help themselves from distinguishing the important from the incidental.

They have a way of keeping our tires from going flat.



Blessings and Love!

Monday, April 12, 2010

April 12, 2010

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)



God, I hate to fly.

It used to be such a positive/pleasurable/privileged/pampered experience; especially in the good old days of Piedmont.

Now, the word hassle comes to mind; or as Sis wrote to me, "If flying is safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?"


I flew to Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania through Milwaukee and Detroit last week to visit my parents, sister, and assorted relatives, play golf, and eat several varieties of the best pizza in America.

Buoyed by unconditional family love and a full belly, I played well; though I kept wondering if not being able to buy new clubs anymore has actually improved my...

I thought about a parallel often shared in pastoral care: "Your greener pasture was someone else's brown field."

Maybe that's why I go home to eat pizza.


Parenthetically, I really never felt that far away from my newer home.



I spent several hours every day dealing with a minor eruption back at the church about changing the location/liturgy of one of our three worship services before it even got onto the docket of any meeting, counseling members and non-members referred to me by members and non-members, begging my spiritual and biological Belvidere families to wait to welcome me back with more hassles, and...

Most of it, frankly, seems rather small in juxtaposition to the global/national insecurities being fueled by religious terrorists (Ain't Welsh Presbyterians!), wars in countries that don't want us there anyway/anyhow/anytime/anymore (Can you believe we're footing the bill for that Karzai nutball?), an economy that looks as robust/steady as Larry King and as appealing/stable as Joy Behar, American political parties that act like The Three Stooges, and a President who throws money around like he's on liberty from military service that is as far away from his personal experience as too many mainliners are to Jesus while acting like he's the product of entitlements and never had a real job with any real responsibilities until, uh, now.



Staying with hassles by getting back to last week's flying around, I put the new Albom book in my golf bag that cost another $90 over the initial $25 to transport which meant I had to pass the time by reading Delta's Sky magazine (April 2010) after paging through Sky Mall (Early Spring 2010) with products that reminded me of the life-changing discussions of worship location/liturgy: Digital Camera Swim Mask, Underwater Pogo Stick, Canine Genealogy Kit, Spy Pen, and Garden Yeti.

I didn't get an aisle seat for any connection and there were no barf bags around.

I had to surrender another Swiss Army penknife to security.

When I asked a woman in a Delta uniform behind the counter who was flirting with a pilot to help locate the gate for the connection from Detroit to Wilkes-Barre that had been changed while flying from Milwaukee to Detroit, she said between drools, "I'm not a gate agent." I said with a strained smile, "I know you two are discussing important corporate matters; but you are standing at the computer and..."

I got off the plane in Wilkes-Barre, checked my cellular for messages, and then wished I hadn't, uh, checked my cellular.

My mom greeted me: "Guess who died?"

It was Jack.

I felt badly.

I didn't like Jack; but I still felt badly for his family.


We graduated together.

Maybe I felt badly because...

Maybe it's kinda like changing the location/liturgy...

Do we really understand agape or rationalize it according to our navels?

Maybe that flirt in the uniform struck too close to home.


God, I hate flying.

I love family.

Flying got me there and back a lot sooner than the cage; and the weather was too iffy for the mule.

I did learn two big lessons while, uh, in the air.

First, there was environmental crusader Jane Goodall's plea in Sky: "Surely we can use our problem-solving abilities, our brains, to find ways to live in harmony with nature."

No Calvinist buys that; though it's a nice thought reminiscent of smoking weed in the 60s.

Second, Gary Player quipped during the Masters Par 3 Tournament on 4/7/10, "Change is the price of survival."

That's why I fly.



All of the preceding is parabolic/metaphorical.

If I have to explain...

I've tried.



Blessings and Love!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

April 4, 2010

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)


Playing my first round of the year with one of my best buddies with thoughts of playing a round or two with my dad in the next few days, I made the turn with a very respectable score: seven pars and two others.

The back nine didn't go as well; reminding me that my chances of qualifying for anything anymore in any athletic event is as remote as paying off my plastic in time to lasso my dream as sighted on page 330 of HD's 2010 big book.

When my drive on 10 went 300+ yards over two fairways to the right and nearly nailed a dozing ranger, my buddy discerned what was simmering within despite being concealed by Duvalish shades and Tigerish pursed lips: "It's gonna be O.K., Bob. If you need some perspective, look at the cross that you're wearing."

Thanks, I needed that.



A friend in California wrote late on Good Friday: "Our Savior paid the price for our sins in the most horrible ways...His blood washed away the sins of the world in substitution for the price we were meant to pay. He fulfilled all prophecy to the very last breath - the number of those prophecies being beyond our feeble grasp to count as are the sins for which He gave Himself that we might grasp the Father's forgiveness and gain eternal life...We cannot comprehend the enormity of the love which we inherit. We cannot fathom the magnitude of the pain He suffered to show us that love...We are the most wretched of penitents, the humblest of recipients, the chosen sons and daughters of the King of Glory."

Thanks, I needed that.

What I need doesn't always correspond to what I want.


When I was in seminary, Big Mac often attacked mis-pronunciation of amen.

The Greek is pronounced ahmein; and the Hebrew is somewhere in that neighborhood.

Anyway, he'd say, "It's pronounced looooooong amen when spoken and short ahmen when sung."

When I first heard him say that over 35 years ago, I checked it out in several dictionaries because, well, uh, geez, sigh, I'd been saying it as I'd always sung it contrary to his correction for almost a quarter of a century.

He was/remains right.

Of course, nobody seems to care; and, admittedly, the Kingdom doesn't rise or fall on it.

Lots of people don't mind thinking what's wrong is right.



Even if what's wrong is exposed by juxtaposition to what's right, lots of people prefer acting out what's wrong rather than what's right.

It goes back to the garden.

Though this is just a metaphor for more serious concerns, I'll never forget instructing a son on the correct contextual pronunciation of amen after my first Big Mac attack.

He looked at me and said, "My Sunday School teacher says you're wrong."

Then he walked away.

A disturbing dogma comes to mind.

Lots of people walk away from...



Moving from pronunciation to prophecy, I'm a tad troubled by BBPBHO's repeated references to Armageddon.

Yeah, I know he's just mocking folks who believe in that kinda stuff or don't swallow his kinda stuff; but it's getting kinda spooky.

For somebody who labors so carefully/rhetorically/eloquently/vacuously to distance himself from Biblical Christianity in a syncretistic secularized religion that features ___ (fill in the blank) in revelation/auto-suggestion revised to the navel not Bible, you gotta wonder why Armageddon keeps coming up in his daily/hourly homilies, uh, I mean speeches/interviews.

Parenthetically, there must be clones of BBPBHO; 'cause he's on television live almost every day around the clock.


Despite calling out the Supreme Court, Rush, Beck, Sean, Sarah, GOP, blue dogs, Libertarians, Rome, NRA, NCAA, and anybody else by name who disagrees with him or even questions him as if that's some kinda neo-apostasy while he bends forward for Islamists and everybody else who disses America and Christianity, there's too much talk about BBPBHO being the Messiah or Antichrist.


A friend in Pennsylvania wrote on Holy Saturday: "Thanks for taking the middle road on the President. He's not the Messiah. He's not the Antichrist. I think he's somewhere in the middle like the rest of us."


A friend in Ohio wrote on Easter Day: "Mr. Obama is not the Messiah. Jesus is! Mr. Obama is not the Antichrist; but I'm beginning to think he's one of the prophets to the..."

Thanks, I needed that.

Have you ever noticed how humor hints at truth?


Getting back to BBPBHO's thing for Armageddon, Biblical Christians have always recognized the special existential/eschatological place of Israel in God's heart.

Genesis 12:2-3, for example, comes to mind.

While I'm not a historian as a subscriber in New York insists on reminding me, nations that have mistreated Israel have always seemed to set up themselves for some kinda judgment in time as well as after it.

BBPBHO seems to be cozying up to the nations that are dedicated so religiously to Israel's demise.

A brilliant lawyer in Illinois: "Obama is willing to negotiate with Iran without preconditions; however, he places preconditions on our ally Israel...Iran continues to ignore America's traditional support of Israel while threatening Israel with complete annihilation; probably because our President seems more concerned about Israel's settlements than Iran's nuclear designs."

Then there was BBPBHO's snubbing of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu during the latter's visit to D.C. in late March - no red carpet, photo ops, or din-din together.

Odd for a President who seems to live for that kinda stuff.

A prophetic type in Kansas warned, "The USA's current leadership appears to be turning its back on Israel; and the Bible says God sees that as turning its back on Him. Our first truly secular President does not see the perils of abandoning Israel."

Thanks, I needed that.

Do you think there's any connection between America's declining support of Israel and America's decline?

I don't know.

But I'm paying more attention to the spiritual side of BBPBHO's politics.


I'm going to see my parents in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania.

It's become a week-after-Easter tradition.

Complaining about my dad whistling and jingling change in his pocket while I was putting about 15 years ago, a friend in the foursome warned, "Love him while you've got him."

Thanks, I needed that.

When I play with my octogenarian dad these days, I'm just happy that we can still hit the links together.



Everything/everyone seems fixed in time.

Love 'em while you got 'em.

America comes to mind.

Mainline churches come to mind.

Connected inevitabilities.

2 Chronicles 7:14 comes to mind.

Only dumb dogs don't bark as danger approaches.




Blessings and Love!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

April 1, 2010

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)



It's Holy Week.

Here's what it has meant to me, consistently ergo predictably, over three decades of ordained pastoral ministry: evening meetings every day except Maundy Thursday and Good Friday, services on Maundy Thursday and Good Friday that attract about as much attention as the New Jersey Nets and MSNBC, shut-ins who expect the sacrament delivered to their doorsteps but only when they're not at the mall or out to lunch or seeing a stylist of some kind, emergency counseling, frenzy over who's doin' what and when and maybe even why, and...


Here's a little secret; and please promise not to tell anyone.

Most pastors have terribly mixed feelings about the weeks leading up to Christmas and Easter because, well, uh, geez, sigh, it seems folks miss so much of the meaning for the mechanics.

Besides, the pressure is really, really, really on the robed ones during seasonal Christianity as the C&Eers show up for their semi-annual pilgrimage to the holy land and church ladies get nervous about 'em challenging/chastening their infidelities lest folks who offend Him throughout the rest of the year and most of their lives feel offended by challenging/chastening their infidelities.




I've been thinking about Cal.

He went home to Jesus on January 30, 2010.

He was/remains the paradigm of remaining faithfully in churches/denominations/franchises in which any connection to Jesus is increasingly coincidental.

Just before moving from militant to triumphant, his family heard him pray, "If I have ever done anything that diminished Your glory, please forgive me."

His fidelity to Jesus inspired tough-minded and tender-hearted love (see Matthew 10:16) as a presbyter as well as pastor of one of our presbytery's churches for over three decades.

He was without illusions about the apostasies of our franchise; yet he chided anyone who encouraged separation to be faithful as, well, uh, geez, sigh, unfaithful.

As my daddy would say, "He knew how to tell people to go to hell in a way that they were looking forward to the trip!"

His laments over what has become of the PCUSA made him a missionary to the mainline: "A prophet's quarrel with the world is deep down a lover's quarrel. If they didn't love the world, they wouldn't bother to tell it that it's going to hell. They'd just let it go" (Buechner).

Rather than retreat into the neo-monasticism of folks separating to be faithful as if you can leave one stinking denomination for another that doesn't stink too - and, gggooooooooooollllly, how the EPCers and New Weavers are finding out that real peace, unity, and purity ain't gonna be experienced until the roll is called up yonder - he looked up, stood up, spoke up, and acted up for Jesus whenever, wherever, and with whomever.

Sadly, part of Cal's heart was broken not long before he died.

He pleaded with the church that he had served so faithfully/fearlessly for so long along with his successors to remain faithfully.

They didn't.

Cal told one of his dearest friends who is one of my dearest friends that he planned to write a letter to that church at official dismissal and demand he no longer be considered/designated as their pastor emeritus.

I mention that because it's Holy Week.

Part of following Jesus is passing through the cross on the way to the crown.

Yes, Cal's wearing the crown these days; but along with the ups, downs, twists, turns, good, bad, and ugly that he experienced/endured/overcame as a pastor for so long and for so many years at that one particular church, his last days were very painful as he felt wounded by people and successors who ignored what was a major theme of his life and ministry: remaining faithfully.

Eli comes to mind: "You can either carry the cross or be the one banging in the nails."

I've been thinking about Cal.

God, please help me to follow Cal as he followed You.



I've got several friends who have separated from apostate franchises to be faithful and several who have remained faithfully as missionaries to the mainline.

God knows who is "more" right.

We'll know in the end (see 1 Corinthians 13:12-13).

One friend has confessed, "I thought I could leave one denomination for another one that didn't stink as badly. I was wrong. They all stink because they're all so human."

He's part of those EPCers and New Weavers who are as tied to the same old same old cultural way of doing things as we are; except they kinda like Jesus a little more and don't choke on His name in prayer, meetings, and homilies.

Buuuuuuut they're already feudin' about women and ordination and already pickin' and choosin' which ordination standards to enforce/abandon and...

Cal was/remains right.


Well, that's so crucifying; and it's hard to stay really, really, really down this week because we know He arose at the beginning of the next one to enable us to overcome all of the ecclesiastical, political, and socioeconomic do-do of all days.

Lest I/we forget, we are resurrection people who know He has already triumphed; meaning we live victoriously in the meantime.

God knows we know there's more evidence for His resurrection than BBPBHO's being born in the USA: (1) the focus of Biblical Christians on the resurrection since A.D. 32; (2) shift of the worship calendar from Saturday to Sunday because of the resurrection on Sunday; (3) 27 testimonies called the New Testament; (4) transformation of the original disciples from cowards into bravehearted gospelers willing to face the tests of torture and martyrdom because of the resurrection; and (5) Jesus is alive to all who believe in Him: "You ask me how I know He lives? He lives within my heart!"

That knowledge/wisdom/inheritance soothed, salved, and saved Cal from that wrenching disappointment of his last days.

I trust the same for you and me.

Happy Easter!



Blessings and Love!