Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)
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Inspirations/indigestions
come regularly while walking Kopper.
He goes and then
I gotta...
Sorry.
Anyway, it
happens many mornings in a Psalms kinda way (check out the texts via
Nelson's or Strong's).
Two or three days
ago, Kopper was doing his thing and I was trying to do His thing and I began to
confess my ingratitude after a few moments of singing, "Count your
blessings, name them one by one...Count your blessings, see what God has
done..."
Before being
prompted by an inspiration/indigestion to sing, I was bantering and moaning
with him and Him about not appearing on Leno or NPR or even Stewart or
Colbert to hawk my latest book, scrounging around for $ to see my ailing dad
not to mention upgrading the pony with more stuff to weather the, uh,
weather, selling my Cleveland TA1s and never being able to hit a ball with the
same confidence since, not having more $ to give away when someone shows up
with a hand out, wondering how I'm gonna afford the mission opportunities this
summer, and...
It/I was kinda
pathetic.
I can be that way
too often.
That's what my
mom says.
Francis said
Jesus was a beggar; but He begged for others.
If you don't know
what I mean, good for you and bad for me and...
Moretheless, in the midst
of the, uh, again, pathetic bantering and moaning, I started singing,
"Count your blessings, name them..."
I began to feel
so ashamed for being so selfish and ungrateful and...
I confessed it to
him and Him and he wasn't moved to do anything other than his thing while I
felt some increased communion with Him in a 1 John 1:5-10 kinda way.
Yeah, I mourned
the ingratitude; then quickly began praising Him for the excessive graces that
I had, uh, not acknowledged enough in adoring thanksgiving.
The walk ended
after about 30 minutes.
The result
may/can/should be a closer walk with Him.
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A story from
Theophane the Monk.
"I had just
one desire - to give myself completely to God. So I headed for the
monastery. An old monk asked me, 'What is it you want?'"
"I said, 'I
just want to give myself to God.'"
"I expected
him to be gentle, fatherly, but he shouted
at me, 'NOW!'"
"I was
stunned. He shouted again, 'NOW!'"
"Then he
reached for a club and came after me. I turned and ran. He kept
coming after me, brandishing his club and shouting, 'NOW! NOW!'"
"That was
years ago. He still follows me, wherever I go. Always that stick,
always that 'NOW!'"
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I've decided I
can't wait any longer to be born again, uh, again.
I mean it's time
to be more like Jesus if I'm really, really, really serious about loving Jesus
by loving like Jesus.
So I've decided
not to mention needs/wants/desires/hurts/hopes/fears to anyone ever
again but Him; though he aka Kopper may still...
Psalm 62.
As Norby scolded
one morning over caffeine, "If that's what God wants for you, you're gonna
get it."
The corollary
being...
True in a Matthew
6:25-34; 7:7-12 juxtaposed to James 4:3 kinda way.
In the meantime,
I've scaled back in...
I've decided not
to wait any longer to be born again, uh, again.
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"Earth is
the only place you get regenerated - don't wait until you die, because, there's
no place to regenerate after you're dead" (Tozer).
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Blessings and Love!
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