Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Cleavage



Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

@#$%


@#$%

    I've gotta get something off my chest.

    Cleavage.

    Everywhere I, uh, look, I can't avoid, uh, seeing it.

    It can be really distracting if you know what I mean.

@#$%

    While I've spent a lotta my life returning to my dad's counsel after rejecting it when first offered, I heeded this one except when wearing dark sunglasses, "Always look into the eyes of a woman and don't let your eyes drift down to her..."

    You know...

    Something has happened in the last few years that's made that really, really, really tough/challenging to pret' near impossible.

    Cleavage.

    It seems that everyone in the other gender's got it from the youth with augmented trainers to geezers with erector sets for...

    Couple that with the increasing # of tattoos with half showing above the cut line and the other half left to the imagination/inquiry, it's really, really, really tough/challenging to pret' near impossible to heed my dad's counsel.

@#$%

    I would never even attempt to get into the minds of women who let it all, uh, hang out/up/down/around; but several thoughts come to mind apart from comfort, culture, and, uh, pride.

    Advertising.

    Flirting.

    Seducing.

    Wantonness.

    Temptation.

    Uh, modesty does not come to mind.

@#$%

    Getting back to temptation, guys are very visual.

    Psst.

    I think some women who let it all, uh, hang out/up/down/around know that and do that to attract roving/wandering/carnal eyes.

    I may be wrong but I think some women like being sex objects.

    If that's not true, then why do some women use 'em like eye candy?

    See how easily it is drift from...?

    Temptation.

    Bad things that taste good.

    If ingested, indigestion soon follows.

    Solomon, who knew more about women than most of us, wrote about the penalties of succumbing to 'em (e.g., Proverbs 5-7).

    Truth is I've never heard of cleavage enabling cogitations/conversations on ecclesiology, eschatology, Christology, soteriology, or...

    But I know other thoughts have entered the minds of men upon, uh, sightings.

    Let's, uh, face it.

    Cleavage is tempting to ignoble thoughts and even...

    I mean, uh, I like to, uh, look.

    Really, if you're a guy, you like to look; unless, you know, you're not into chicks.

    And if you're a woman who likes showing cleavage, you know what you're doing; and if you don't, the problem may be even...

@#$%

    Solution.

    Correction.

    Attempted solution.

    A nun once counseled me about temptation, "When tempted, turn to the right!"

    She meant turn to Jesus.

    I do; or, at least, I try.

    Psst.

    Jesus came as our Savior as well as Lord because do and try aren't always on the same page.

    Getting back to Jesus, He knew cleavage and other temptations would be tough/challenging and often pret' near impossible to avoid/overcome; so He taught us to pray, "Lead us not into temptation."

    In other words, Jesus knew we often succumb to temptations because we wanna succumb to 'em because bad things taste good and most of us don't bother to think of the consequences/indigestion of ingestion - again, that's why we need Him as our Savior as well as Lord who cuts slack for our inability/unwillingness to be perfectly His - and so He taught us to implore/beg Him to keep us away from stuff that ain't good for us.

    Cleavage is always in, uh, sight/grasp; meaning we often need His help to steer/stay/stare away from it.

    Don't miss the inductive metaphor.

@#$%

    So here's how I do it so I don't do it if you know what I mean.

    I pray, "Lord, You told me to ask You to not lead me into temptation because You know me and know my inclinations to ingest what will make me sick.  So I'm calling You on that right now.  Lord, do not lead me into this temptation.  Lead me away from it.  Do whatever is necessary to keep me away from it.  You told me to pray like this because You know I do/will fall and fail to stay away from it on my own.  So it's up to You, Lord.  If you want me to stay away from it, You're gonna have to..."

    Catch the drift?

    Psst.

    It/He works!

    Whenever I pray like that - like He taught me/us to pray - the supplication is always satisfied.

    Now if I'd only always pray like that.

@#$%

    Uh, point.

    Cleavage is always in our faces.

    Whether intended or ignorant, it's distracting.

    Admit it, gentlemen.

    Or as a favorite street preacher friend of mine likes to say, "You can't fix what you won't face."

    Admitting it, accept His way out of it.

    Turn to the right.

    Turn to Him.

    And beg if/when necessary, "Lead me not into temptation."

    Now read Matthew 7:7-8 and James 4:3 in quick succession.

    Cleavages cave when clinging to Him.

@#$%

Blessings and Love!

6 comments:

Eric said...

BOB: Thank you for keeping me "abreast" of this situation. Since this is a religious blog, were the women all wearing "cross your heart"
bras?

Dan G said...

Silly Bob! Don't you read the Bible:

"A woman shall leave her family and cleavage unto her husband."

Crystal said...

Dr. K.,

Man, did you ever nail it on this one!!! I cannot believe how much shows in the pews these days! lol And if it's difficult for me, a woman to ignore all that is exposed, whew, I can only imagine how men must feel. I mean, really, where do you look? If you look away, there's another woman in the corner of your eye exposes as much, if not more! I am embarrassed on behalf of my gender. Women, we don't need to dress like prudes and prunes to avoid exposing ourselves...just some common sense and even some fashion sense would fix this! I am so sick at seeing angel wings sprouting out from booties and flowers on boobs...ugh!!!!! Help us Jesus! It makes me cringe!
Thanks for this one! And for letting me express my thoughts! hehe

Robert said...

sounds like a case for gay pastors....

also explains why I gave up having couples kneel for wedding vows --- especially with video cameras....

Bob Hope: thanks for the mammaries....

Anonymous said...

Just came back from lunch in downtown DC on a very hot day. Gals were hanging out at both ends. Sheesh... Had lunch w/a very nice fellow pastor, a very attractive woman by the way, who was the most modestly dressed female I saw all day. It's nice being able to talk to a woman w/o distractions. Or in this case listen - she's going through a tough interim and just needed to vent. She also bought me lunch. A good experience all the way around. And yes, my wife knew where I was going and with whom.

Bob said...

Pastor Bob:
Boobs a lot, boobs a lot. Gotta like boobs a lot - The Fuggs.
Nothing wrong in admiring beauty. Perhaps the first thing we see/appreciate are either boobs or the face of whoever nurses us as babes. God's gifts to enjoy not abuse.