Friday, August 31, 2012
Rumors About Pastor
We just finished and dedicated our expansion and renovation.
Of course, we're broke now; and I haven't been selling enough books to call Woodstock H-D and put a down payment on even a used Electra Glide Ultra Limited.
BTW, do you have any leads on night security jobs in...?
Anyway, if you've ever been in leadership of any kind in any kinda church, you know some folks in churches become rather, uh, naughty when the financial belt tightens.
I can be euphemistic as well as hyperbolic.
Be that as it is, there's a really, uh, uh, uh, interesting rumor circulating around the church these days: "Pastor Bob is removing all of the dishwashers!"
When my inlaws/outlaws heard about it, they got really mad too; because they thought I was getting rid of all the kind souls who wash dishes after church dinners.
I mean if my own family...
Help me, Jesus!
Well, apparently, I'm being accused with anger of removing all of the Kenmores or Whirlpools or whatever they're called to raise money so I can call Woodstock H-D and...
I was inspired/indigested to write about it: "Four Fresh Rumors at First About Pastor Bob!"
I sent it to some friends:
1. Pastor Bob must decide in 48 hours which new call
he will accept: Associate Pope, Chief of Staff for Obama,
or Secretary of State for Romney;
2. Pastor Bob has made his administrative assistant and
the church's financial secretary drain remaining reserves
so he can buy a motorcycle from Woodstock H-D. He is
sooooooo egotistical, selfish, prideful, controlling,
manipulative, and... Did I get all of 'em? Oh, I forgot
3. Pastor Bob is having simultaneous affairs with Sarah
Palin and Susan Sarandon. There are pictures to prove it!
Did you know he was also seen with the current Secretary
of State at Burger King? Or was it Alanis Morissette at the
chicken place that Chicago's Mayor hates? Did you know
he and Sophia Loren have a love child? He is sooooooo;
4. Pastor Bob just died and ___ threw a party because that's
been her/his cursing chant since...
O.K., now the truth.
The aforementioned is why he doesn't wear a helmet.
One buddy in the same business read the above and wrote: "That would be funny, if it weren't so damn sad. We all know it's the dues we pay for..."
Lots about it in the Bible that the mongers ignore.
They break one of the big ten; and breaking one of the big ten breaks the first few.
They break everyone; except for those who live by John 3:19-21.
Lion of Judah.
Blessings and Love!