Thursday, June 20, 2013
Elephants in the...
Doggerel to Gospel
Exposing elephants in the...are attempts to tell the truth to a world, country, and church that have grown accustomed to lies.
Patrice O'Neal comes to mind.
He told the ugly truth through uncouth humor to self-deceiving people who prefer pretty lies.
Jesus: "The truth will set you free!"
Tiger Woods marries/dates the whitest women that I've ever seen.
When it comes to violating civil rights and ruining America, BBPBHO is GWB on steroids.
Mainline denominations have more money, property, and assets but far fewer folks in weekly worship and soup kitchens than sideliners and emerging churches.
"Rules for pastors: First year? Shut up and listen...Ordination is not a right...You probably weren't God's first choice either...You're not good at everything...That was a good sermon; but so what?...Be ready to discard cherished presumptions...If you're worried about losing your job, you're in the wrong business...Only people are sacred, never things...You better learn how to wait...You're not in charge...Screw church quarrels - care for children instead...There is no day off...Avoid confusing the institution with the Church...Don't expect the grass to be greener, or purer - never found a holy church yet..." (Bob Andrews).
Most problems in churches go back to 'em not loving Jesus by loving like Jesus; and most problems in churches begin to disappear when they start loving Jesus by loving like Jesus.
"People don't come to church for preachments, of course, but to daydream about God" (Kurt Vonnegut).
"If your pastor were the CEO of IBM, how long would he or IBM last if he truly believed Dell, Apple, and H-P computers were all fine and IBM is not necessarily the best?" (John Hastings).
The NSA is crippling 911 # revenues.
Democrats are Republicans who hide greed better.
Republicans are Democrats when it comes to mindless party allegiance; noting both would vote for Satan if nominated by their parties.
"Barack Obama has an impeachment-proof situation: Joe Biden" (Bob Stier).
"The first white President chopped down a cherry tree. The first black President is chopping down the whole country. Am I a racist for saying that? How can you call me a racist when my taxes pay for illegal immigrants and unemployed minorities to have welfare, health care, child care, food stamps, and free education at every level?" (Eric Felack).
Liberals aka so-called progressives live in the ozone layer of reality with two feet planted in the air; looking like they've seen a vision of God or didn't make it to the potty in time.
Conservatives aka so-called traditionalists/religionists hate to see anything happen for the first time; which is why they murdered Jesus.
"1492 - The teachers told the children that this was when their continent was discovered by human beings. Actually, millions of human beings were already living full and imaginative lives on the continent in 1492. That was simply the year in which sea pirates began to cheat and rob and kill them" (Kurt Vonnegut).
Most Americans will give up their liberties for a six-pack and Sunday Night Football.
"The United States of America is now going to be called the United States of China" (Don Greenhow).
"My kids will never know what the good old days were like" (Eric Felack).
While it may come as a shock to the DAR and other rednecks, all Americans started as immigrants.
"I just love the intolerance of the tolerant" (Bob Andrews).
There is a drug problem in America because lots of Americans like drugs and lots of the "good" guys are making as much $ off it as the "bad" guys.
"Legalize marijuana; but give exclusive rights to Wal-Mart. Hell, 90% of their customers use it now" (Eric Felack).
Muslims who really wanna follow their leader must murder people who don't really wanna follow their leader to please him.
Really, he set the personal example and exhorted his disciples to follow his example.
Christians who really wanna follow their Leader must be willing to give up their lives not anyone else's life to save the lives of others/everyone to please Him.
Really, He set the personal example and exhorted His disciples to follow His example.
Lily: "And that's the truth!"
Now go back to the first section of this KD.
Expose more elephants via reader comments!
Blessings and Love!