Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)
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Unlike my sister
who says I look like my head is upside down or my mom who's asked if I've ever considered
trimming the only hair that I can grow apart from the crop in my nose and ears
or my wife who's been conspiring with Vicki against Karry and me about it, I
really don't think anyone has the, uh, right apart from rudeness to comment
on...
Really, I've
never told anyone that I don't like their attire, coiffured style/length/color,
or even perfume/cologne when it could knock over a bull at fifty paces.
You know the, uh,
golden rule that, uh, I guess has been revised: "Stick it to 'em before
they stick it to yu'uns."
Buuuuuuut it was bound to
happen.
She/he said,
"I really liked today's sermon. I just don't like your beard."
Response:
"I'm gonna root for the Patriots now that they've signed Tebow. They
like him because of his intelligence, versatility, toughness, and..."
Sometimes it's
better not to take the bait.
Just ask fish.
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Confession.
I'm not as
mindless about hair and what I wear as some might...
Really.
Granted, can't do
much about the head.
An inheritance
from Grandpas Jacob and Hayden.
Monk cuts without
razors.
But when it comes
to facial hair, I've had somethin' there for over forty years.
Numbers 6...
Lengthening a
bowling ball noggin...
Just don't like
to shave 'cause of super-sensitive skin...
Coverin' up
zits...
Wanna...
Who cares?
People who wanna
control others with their
cookie-cutter-non-Romans-12-1-Corinthians-12-truly-mindless-droneness-instead-of-divinely-ordered-diversity
blandness with no faculties for distinguishing the important from the
incidental, uh, care about...
Sooooooo apart from ZZ Top
aspirations and its garlic-like effect on the kinda seducers mentioned so often
in Proverbs, facial hair has been a helpful instrument to
distinguish people majoring in the minors of insignificantly superficial
religiosity from saints who just wanna agape
as the best way to honor Him.
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You probably
haven't read Fifteen Secrets
for Life and Ministry.
Though you
probably don't, don't even pretend to feel badly about that.
Sales for that
one were even worse than sales for the last one that netted $18.66 in my last
quarterly royalties check.
Buuuuuuut you can still
get a copy and read about all of the people who've been so unsuccessful, except
for Pearl (Gotta read the
book!), in trying to control me to conform me to their religion
akin to Jesus' harsh words in Matthew 15:1-9.
Really, why would
anyone trying to point people to Jesus pay any attention to people substituting
a stupidly navel-gazing religion about Him for an authentic relationship with
Him confirmed by concentrating on important stuff like saving souls, feeding
the hungry, housing the homeless, including those excluded by the country club
and other fashionable..., and other Matthew 25 kinda stuff?
Of course, many
of today's clergy do that.
They consider
what people think of 'em when shopping for a car, seeing their stylists,
choosing restaurants, hangin' out with less than pretty pewsitters/pulpiteers,
"dressing" for worship, and...
Kinda...
I wrote a lot
about that in that book before my latest that didn't sell well either.
Hmm.
Let's think this
over some more.
Matthew 23.
Jesus.
Specifically, I
was presiding at a funeral for this guy's mother who introduced himself to me
like this: "I want you to know I'm not very religious."
Response:
"Then you'll really like Jesus. He wasn't very religious
either. In fact, when
religious people couldn't get him to conform to their religion, they nailed Him
for it."
Selah juxtaposed to
today's really, really, really religious churches often only coincidentally
related to the Jesus who didn't fit in with the religious people of His day.
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Let me get real
personal about this.
When I did cut
off the fuzz from my face to placate Pearl - the
rest of the story is in the non-best-selling book mentioned above that just
preceded my latest non-best-selling one - an associate pastor came
to me and wept.
She said,
"If you're willing to change your identity for someone trying to control
you with no connection to anything related to Jesus and the Bible,
how can I trust you won't do that with your...?"
That's why I
don't pay much attention to anyone anymore who comments on stupid stuff like
the only hair that I'm capable of growing.
Aside from it
being none of their business, it usually exposes their lack of being about His
business.
Colossians 3:1ff.
comes to mind about now.
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Blessings and Love!
2 comments:
I wonder if God regrets ever birthing the Church in a Genesis 6 kinda way...
This KD brought to mind the outraged, yes outraged, elder who came up to me boiling over and said, with not the slightest evidence that he had ever heard of Jesus, "The _______________ (a missionary couple) will NEVER be welcome here again!" Their "sin"? Well, the big hand on the clock was pointing at the 2, while the little hand was just passing 12. Lucky there were no crosses handy, or we might have had a crucifixion in the parking lot of FPC Marion.
Then there was the woman who came up to me at the end of a worship service and asked me if I owned a watch? "Sure I do, but I never wear one when worshiping, it seems so pointless when contemplating eternity." She, apparently, had been contemplating Sunday dinner at the County Cupboard and was annoyed with me because the Baptists were going to get first crack at the buffet.
Still, I hope and pray the Lord may yet give me another opportunity to take on a pastoral role with a congregation sure to have its share of such folks (Though after five and a half years on the sideline makes me begin to wonder if His plan for me is to repeat, "Good morning, welcome to Wal-Mart" to the congregants who shop Sunday mornings).
Perhaps the comments have to do with the unkemptness of the beard, not its very existence? Facial hair, like any hair, can be groomed. Wild, uncontrolled hair of any kind sends a message. You are, sadly, just a Pastor and not ZZ Top.
You are THEREFORE in the message business.
If you liked tattoos, would that give you the whimsical license to get an American flag tattooed on the tip of your nose? Nope. It would distract from your most important role: delivering the Good News to a dying world.
So, is your self-loving beard style distracting from the main thing? Here are some ideas on how to consider re-grooming to help a less englightened audience hear your words and not your beard. Afterall, grooming sends a message too ... and it is not capitulation, it is calculated. Sing it John Lennon: "All we are saying .... is give grooming a chance"
Dan G
Beardless By Choice
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