Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Mindlessly Defined

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)



    Unlike my sister who says I look like my head is upside down or my mom who's asked if I've ever considered trimming the only hair that I can grow apart from the crop in my nose and ears or my wife who's been conspiring with Vicki against Karry and me about it, I really don't think anyone has the, uh, right apart from rudeness to comment on...

    Really, I've never told anyone that I don't like their attire, coiffured style/length/color, or even perfume/cologne when it could knock over a bull at fifty paces.

    You know the, uh, golden rule that, uh, I guess has been revised: "Stick it to 'em before they stick it to yu'uns."

    Buuuuuuut it was bound to happen.

    She/he said, "I really liked today's sermon.  I just don't like your beard."

    Response: "I'm gonna root for the Patriots now that they've signed Tebow.  They like him because of his intelligence, versatility, toughness, and..."

    Sometimes it's better not to take the bait.

    Just ask fish.




    I'm not as mindless about hair and what I wear as some might...


    Granted, can't do much about the head.

    An inheritance from Grandpas Jacob and Hayden.

    Monk cuts without razors.

    But when it comes to facial hair, I've had somethin' there for over forty years.

    Numbers 6...

    Lengthening a bowling ball noggin...

    Just don't like to shave 'cause of super-sensitive skin...

    Coverin' up zits...


    Who cares?

    People who wanna control others with their cookie-cutter-non-Romans-12-1-Corinthians-12-truly-mindless-droneness-instead-of-divinely-ordered-diversity blandness with no faculties for distinguishing the important from the incidental, uh, care about...

    Sooooooo apart from ZZ Top aspirations and its garlic-like effect on the kinda seducers mentioned so often in Proverbs, facial hair has been a helpful instrument to distinguish people majoring in the minors of insignificantly superficial religiosity from saints who just wanna agape as the best way to honor Him.



    You probably haven't read Fifteen Secrets for Life and Ministry.

    Though you probably don't, don't even pretend to feel badly about that.

    Sales for that one were even worse than sales for the last one that netted $18.66 in my last quarterly royalties check.

    Buuuuuuut you can still get a copy and read about all of the people who've been so unsuccessful, except for Pearl (Gotta read the book!), in trying to control me to conform me to their religion akin to Jesus' harsh words in Matthew 15:1-9.

    Really, why would anyone trying to point people to Jesus pay any attention to people substituting a stupidly navel-gazing religion about Him for an authentic relationship with Him confirmed by concentrating on important stuff like saving souls, feeding the hungry, housing the homeless, including those excluded by the country club and other fashionable..., and other Matthew 25 kinda stuff?

    Of course, many of today's clergy do that.

    They consider what people think of 'em when shopping for a car, seeing their stylists, choosing restaurants, hangin' out with less than pretty pewsitters/pulpiteers, "dressing" for worship, and...


    I wrote a lot about that in that book before my latest that didn't sell well either.


    Let's think this over some more.

    Matthew 23.


    Specifically, I was presiding at a funeral for this guy's mother who introduced himself to me like this: "I want you to know I'm not very religious."

    Response: "Then you'll really like Jesus.  He wasn't very religious either.  In fact, when religious people couldn't get him to conform to their religion, they nailed Him for it."

    Selah juxtaposed to today's really, really, really religious churches often only coincidentally related to the Jesus who didn't fit in with the religious people of His day.



    Let me get real personal about this.

    When I did cut off the fuzz from my face to placate Pearl - the rest of the story is in the non-best-selling book mentioned above that just preceded my latest non-best-selling one - an associate pastor came to me and wept.

    She said, "If you're willing to change your identity for someone trying to control you with no connection to anything related to Jesus and the Bible, how can I trust you won't do that with your...?"

    That's why I don't pay much attention to anyone anymore who comments on stupid stuff like the only hair that I'm capable of growing.

    Aside from it being none of their business, it usually exposes their lack of being about His business.

    Colossians 3:1ff. comes to mind about now.


Blessings and Love!


Jim said...

I wonder if God regrets ever birthing the Church in a Genesis 6 kinda way...

This KD brought to mind the outraged, yes outraged, elder who came up to me boiling over and said, with not the slightest evidence that he had ever heard of Jesus, "The _______________ (a missionary couple) will NEVER be welcome here again!" Their "sin"? Well, the big hand on the clock was pointing at the 2, while the little hand was just passing 12. Lucky there were no crosses handy, or we might have had a crucifixion in the parking lot of FPC Marion.

Then there was the woman who came up to me at the end of a worship service and asked me if I owned a watch? "Sure I do, but I never wear one when worshiping, it seems so pointless when contemplating eternity." She, apparently, had been contemplating Sunday dinner at the County Cupboard and was annoyed with me because the Baptists were going to get first crack at the buffet.

Still, I hope and pray the Lord may yet give me another opportunity to take on a pastoral role with a congregation sure to have its share of such folks (Though after five and a half years on the sideline makes me begin to wonder if His plan for me is to repeat, "Good morning, welcome to Wal-Mart" to the congregants who shop Sunday mornings).

Dan G said...

Perhaps the comments have to do with the unkemptness of the beard, not its very existence? Facial hair, like any hair, can be groomed. Wild, uncontrolled hair of any kind sends a message. You are, sadly, just a Pastor and not ZZ Top.

You are THEREFORE in the message business.

If you liked tattoos, would that give you the whimsical license to get an American flag tattooed on the tip of your nose? Nope. It would distract from your most important role: delivering the Good News to a dying world.

So, is your self-loving beard style distracting from the main thing? Here are some ideas on how to consider re-grooming to help a less englightened audience hear your words and not your beard. Afterall, grooming sends a message too ... and it is not capitulation, it is calculated. Sing it John Lennon: "All we are saying .... is give grooming a chance"

Dan G
Beardless By Choice