Monday, November 10, 2014
Remnant Network - 30
It took sooooooo many, tooooooo many, years before I learned this about myself.
I may be wrong about...
I am wrong about...
I can be stubbornly wrong about...
Sooooooo much pain, tooooooo much pain, has been caused by me because I haven't just been wrong about...but I've sooooooo often, tooooooo often, been stubbornly wrong about...
That's what happens when we egocentrically reimagine divine revelation apart from Jesus by the book.
I've done it sooooooo many, tooooooo many times because I've been so arrogant about thinking I'm sooooooo right and others are sooooooo wrong: "Ya'll not me have sinned and ya'll not me fall short of..."
Frankly, I don't think I really got that in my gut - it had been swirling around in my noodle for years in an intellectual if not spiritual kinda way - until that apocalyptic moment early one morning in October 2011 while reading Matthew 15 and 23 under Eugene's influence.
The apocalyptic moment.
Jesus said clergy make people twice as fit for hell as they are themselves.
I guess that's why clergy conspired with the state to murder Him.
No wonder Dick Sheppard fought the bishops and said the only thing that separates people from Jesus is the church.
No wonder C.S. Lewis' old demon told the young demon that their best work is done at the steps of the chancel.
The people who said/say they were/are the closest to God did/do their worst to distance themselves and those under their influence from the incarnate God.
The enfleshed God who filled Holy Scripture full of its eternally intended meaning was/is rejected by those, like me, who were/are stubbornly, heinously, murderously wrong about...
Has anything really changed since His ascension?
Or do we still have this instinct - let's call it original sin or total depravity - to descend from the theocentric to the egocentric to the peril of everyone around us.
Since that apocalyptic moment, I've realized why I've had this deep disdain for clergy, like me, in the deepest recesses of my soul.
They/we/I make people twice as fit for...
They/we/I conspire to murder...
I can barely read/recite His sorrow: "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem...clergy...women and men who say they know Father and Son and Holy Spirit...how often I would have gathered you together as a hen gathers her baby chicks but you..."
I'm just scratching the surface of my relationship with Jesus.
I've learned to say about most things, "I may be wrong about this; but here's what I think...If I am wrong by the example of Jesus, explanation of Holy Scripture, and common sense, please tell me so I may confess, repent, and honor Him."
I've learned I'm only 100% certain about...Jesus being Lord and Savior.
Annnnnnnd considering all of the below juxtaposed to all of the above, thank God for His forgiveness through faith in Jesus!
Gerry helped me to realize how wrong I have been about...
Whenever anyone has come to me with some of the inane things that some pewsitting and pulpiteering people really care about...[If I have to catalogue 'em for you, you may be among the "some" who've brought 'em to me!]...that bear no consequence to the rise and fall of the kingdom, I've often blurted, "I really don't care about..."
After one of those blurtings in front of Gerry, he corrected me: "Bob, I think you really do care. You care about the people who care too much about the wrong things. But you do care and I know it!"
Being stubborn about being wrong sooooooo often, tooooooo often, I admitted/admit he is right about how I've been wrong.
I really, really, really care about people even when they really, really, really...
I've been refreshed since admitting I was wrong about that.
I've been refreshed since admitting I really, really, really care about mainline and sideline denominations including my own, the left and right and sideways, Democrats and Republicans, Bears and Packers, along with all of the below who really, really, really need, like me, to become more intimate with all of the above.
Annnnnnnd as I get closer to Jesus - and I've got such a long way to go as I'm just scratching the surface of my relationship with Him - I find myself tearing up whenever I read/recite that lament of His over clergy like me.
Maybe that's why my spirit is filled with more sorrow than anger these days.
Dr. Macleod always insisted we never end an essay or paper or book or something homiletical with a quote; but, these days, I'm feeling like the Tin Man: "Now I know I have a heart; because I can feel it breaking."
Blessings and Love!