Monday, July 6, 2015

You're As Old As You...



Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)

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"It is the spirit in a man..."

Elihu

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"May you live as long as you want to
and want to as long as you live."

Senior to 8th grader

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"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."

Paul

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"Prayer is an offering up of our desires unto God, for things agreeable
to His will, in the name of Christ, with confession of our sins,
and thankful acknowledgment of His mercies."

The Shorter Catechism of 1646

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    I just got back from another circuit ride to visit the inlaws (Wilkes-Barre) and outlaws (Pittsburgh) in Pennsylvania.

    Door to door from Belvidere, Illinois, it's 500 miles to the outlaws and 800 miles to the inlaws; and I have done the latter aboard Return and Return2 on several occasions in about 14 hours.

    I had never gone more than 800 miles in a day...until July 3.

    Avoiding Chicago on the return from the inlaws by going waaaaaaay south, I rode Return2 for just a shade over 18 hours and a new personal record of 1054 miles.

    My sister's verdict was echoed by several other relatives: "That's ridiculous!  That's abnormal!  You're nuts!"

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    I've worn contacts for about five years.

    That's because Lasik wore out after about ten years; annnnnnnd that was not an experience that I wanted to repeat.

    Why either?

    My eyes are very, very, very light sensitive; and without shades, migraines are triggered.

    Prescription sunglasses are very expensive; especially if you keep losing 'em.

    Clip-ons don't work on iron ponies.

    Ergo, contacts.

    As I struggled plugging in my first set to the giggles of my wife and sons who haaaaaaad to be there for the show, I heard the doctah whisper, "A lot of people his age can't make the adjustment to contacts."

    With some bad words in mind, that was the only inspiration that I needed.

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    My wife agrees with my mom on something about me.

    Actually, I think it's something about me that bonds inlaws and outlaws.

    Actually(2), they have both said the same thing without knowing the other said it until now because I think they're being pejorative not positive about, uh, moi: "Bobby, you're a rebel."

    That's not rebel as in that stupid flag symbol that's so offensive to everyone but WASPs who've always felt superior to everyone else; but rebel as in consciously resisting any temptation to being normal.

    When I hear/think/see normal, I think b-o-r-i-n-g.

    Conventional spells Revelation 3:1-6 to me.

    I pray/try/want to be more of a Matthew 9:17 kinda guy.

    Kite.

    Rebel.

    Ridiculous.

    Nuts.

    Abnormal.

    Excellent!!!

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    Let me put it another way.

    I hang out with lots of Special Olympians.

    Normally conventional people like to say "they" are mentally challenged.

    Buuuuuuut have you ever watched Special Olympians compete, worship, dance, and...?

    I have; and ever since, I have redefined/redesignated who are the really "challenged" people of this world.

    Special Olympians don't lie and cheat, know how to party, and wanna make love not war.

    Have you ever watched those normally conventional people compete, worship, dance, and...?

    C'mon, be honest.

    Who looks happier?

    Who looks more like they get this from The Shorter Catechism of 1646: "Our chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy Him forever!"

    Case closed.

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    When someone says I don't look or talk or act like a pastor, I think, "Excellent!"

    That's because the definition of what a conventionally normal pastor should...

    You know what I mean; and if you don't, you may be as boring as...

    BTW, considering the attrition rate of the conventionally normal pastors these days and that I've hung around nearly 14 years past AARP eligibility and will never retire to the chagrin of people who hate me in a Christian kinda way and hope I'm knocked off by an Islamofascistnutball or get what I deserve for not wearing a helmet,...

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    So what's this all about?

    Is this some navel-gazing exercise in reckless narcissism?

    Sure, if that's what you wanna think.

    Lots of people like to write off people like moi as ridiculous, nuts, abnormal, and...

    But before you find yourself in the corner of some nursing home or something, think about it; before you find yourself asking, "What have/haven't I done with my life?"

    Believe it or not, this isn't about me.

    It's about you.

    Are you happy, whole, joyful, and secure?

    Nobody's looking and listening.

    Be honest.

    Are you happy, whole, joyful, and secure?

    If so, honestly so, praise the Lord!

    If not, and you're still breathing, you've still got time to enjoy what He created as "good" for everyone.

    We choose to be happy, whole, joyful, and secure...or not.

    And from what I see/hear in/from the conventionally normal, I'm all for the ridiculous, abnormal, and nuts.

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    Dr. Sweazey always told us to preach each sermon as if it were the last that we'd ever preach.

    Kathie, KD's webmaster, goes on vacation in a few days.

    Unless I'm knocked off by a former member of the church who didn't want to be delivered from the conventionally normal aka b-o-r-i-n-g or some Islamofascistnutball or the prayers of my other enemies go unanswered, the next KD won't hit cyberspace until August 1.

    That's assuming, of course, that I learn how to use the new computer sitting next to this one by then.

    Of course(2), if any of the preceding is true,...

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Blessings and Love!

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