Monday, August 10, 2015

Funeral Arrangements

Kopp Disclosure
(John 3:19-21)



Funeral Arrangements for RRK

Dear Paul and Steve,

Trusting, like most folks, you haven’t read “My Last Sermon” (8/1/15) and “A Funeral” (8/8/15) via, I ask you to review ‘em concomitant to my funeral arrangements entrusted to you.

Though neither of you ever officially united with our family of faith on the corner of Lincoln and Main, you are close buddies despite Steve putting down his iron pony for a bird in the sky; ergo, I trust you to do your best to honor the following.

Parenthetically, though not as close to Colin, I really like him and would like you to include him; perhaps serving as the only usher and handing out a memorial card with my wife’s favorite mug shot available from the Belvidere Daily Republican on one side and this on the back:

Until next time, continue in God’s peace through Jesus.

Love God and be kind to one another.

Remember, the answer to every question is Jesus.

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the
communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all.  Amen. 

Also, there’s a very symbolic portrait of moi by Joan R. Brown (RIP) that I would like to have displayed during the service.  Leslie will explain it to you; for its meaning is more important than the mug.

Assuming people who return to the church after their prayers are answered don’t proscribe it, I would like the “service” to be held in the sanctuary on the corner of Lincoln and Main.

BTW, please make sure that ham and cole slaw are not served in Fellowship Hall after the service; but I’d like Dave and Karry to provide their best vanilla ice cream topped with plenteous amounts of multi-colored sprinkles and chunks of chocolate chip cookie dough.

No beverages except very strong coffee with caffeine.

Annnnnnnd invite the people who came back to the church after I died to dish out the goodies; for they aren’t going to want to go to the service but this will allow them to serve others while they celebrate.

Please discourage memorials for idolatries or other religious trinkets; but accept donations to cover the cost of the service and maybe establish a fund to bury indigent peers.

No obituary.

Do not display any of my non-best-selling books or pictures other than the aforementioned.

Because I’ll be dead and not look animated despite the best efforts, no viewing or visitation.

Donate any parts of my body that can help anybody.

Cremation with ashes scattered at the Veterans Memorial at Woodstock Harley-Davidson.

Getting to the service, no prelude or postlude.

One of you will welcome everybody to the service and one of you will thank folks for coming and invite ‘em downstairs for ice cream, sprinkles, and chunks of chocolate chip cookie dough.

I’d prefer people who think it’s rude to be on time or insist on carrying their cellulars like appendages not be seated and told will have copies for a later listening.

In other words, just plug in the disk that Karen, Kathie, Bill, Ric, or Tyler will provide – same one as used in the 8/8/15 KD that nobody read/heard -  between the welcome and closing and let it run without interruption; and tell Dave, Harlan, Ric, and Tyler to pump up the volume as warranted by the music.

I am copying everybody mentioned above along with my wife, sister, and friends.  Watch out for my sister!  She is very loyal and will insist on these arrangements being honored as best as possible.

I think that’s about it.

If I forgot something, I know you will deal with it.

I have committed many sins in my life and ministry; and praise God that I have been saved by grace through faith in Jesus.

I have loved Jesus; and tried my best to love people enough to tell them about Jesus with enthusiasm and without equivocation.

I have loved more than people can fathom.

See you later.



Blessings and Love!


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