Thursday, October 1, 2015
Wear Your Helmet!
"Helmet Laws Suck"
"Helmets - Let Those Who Ride Decide"
"I Am Not Wearing This Helmet By Choice"
Stickers on a Biker's Helmet
Whether it's my mommy, the volunteer receptionist at Swedes Hospital in Rockford, the increasingly PC marketers for H-D, or a congregant who keeps saying he doesn't want to look for a new pastor, it's a repeated refrain ad nauseum: "Wear your helmet!"
It kinda reminds me of the time that I asked my sister why she's got tattoos.
She said, "Because I can."
I don't wanna wear one.
When Paul and I were in seminary, he whispered something that he believed would happen to him someday that I'm revealing for the first time: "I don't think I'm going to live that long. I think I will be murdered by someone who hates Jesus."
He was wrong.
He fell off a mountain in Colorado to his death on August 17, 1994.
Sooner or later, I think I'm gonna get knocked off by an Islamofascistnutball or somebody who has a Matthew 10:22 grudge against me or a mainline denominational jingoist or somebody who hates me for taking the church from 'em and trying to give it back to Jesus or I get what I deserve for not wearing a helmet.
You may be wrong.
I may be right.
Can't you hear Billy Joel in the distance?
Don't really care...as I'll get to later.
All I know is I get the feeling every now and then that people kinda hope I do get what I deserve for not wearing a helmet because it would vindicate their repeated refrain ad nauseum: "Wear your helmet!"
I've been riding since I was 16.
I wore a helmet because it was a state law in Pennsylvania back then.
Of course, when I got my Honda 350Four at 20 and rode to Cape Cod with a fender bunny, I took off my helmet once I crossed into Connecticut.
I try not to break the law in a Pauline kinda way.
So, yes, I carry a helmet with me.
I wear it when I have to wear it because I'll pay for it if I don't.
It has stickers on it.
My three favorite diggers are bikers.
Well, actually, one died not too long ago of some heart thing.
And, uh, another, uh, gave up his pony for a bird.
The last one standing, uh, riding who doesn't wear a helmet unless it's raining or he's riding in Chicago or he's in some state that aborts babies but makes bikers wear 'em confessed, "The only good thing about a helmet is that you'll look better in the casket."
He should know.
Except when it's raining or I'm riding with my digger friend in Chicago or in a state that requires 'em, I've always felt I'd wear one if I felt I needed to wear one; like in, "Maybe I shouldn't even get on a pony if I think I need to wear one to protect myself because I don't really know what I'm doing and can't really handle a..."
Maybe that's why most states require rookies to wear 'em.
What's that Billy Joel song?
Really, in my twisted logic, I've got this idea when I see people donning head gear that looks like they're about to rocket off for a lunar trek that maybe, just maybe, they should think about getting a Hummer or something.
Aside from those who really want me to get what I deserve for not wearing one - C'mon, it's true! Lotta haters out there! - I've always thought I'll just get what I deserve if I go down for being careless, reckless, or some other personally culpable thing.
Really, truly, not kidding, I'm serious about saying, "I don't wear a helmet to give hope to my enemies and those who want me to get what I deserve for not wearing one."
I've heard the stats.
Wearing a helmet improves your chances of avoiding a viewing with my favorite diggers by 37%.
60% of MC fatalities can be avoided by wearing the proper protective prophylactics.
Ever wonder how they come up with such stats?
It's like those stats that keep insisting Donald and Hillary are so popular.
For me, and you may be right and I may be wrong, I feel more at-one and aware of my surroundings without some uncomfortable and clunky shell on my noodle. I think it's safer to have an unencumbered immersion into the sights, sounds, and smells to increase margins of safety.
I think non-bikers who tell bikers to wear helmets just wanna control 'em.
You know, force their will on 'em.
That's a pretty natural instinct.
People like to control people.
Kinda like the IRS, NSA, mainline denominations, wives/husbands, and other socialists.
Farmers are right: "Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none!"
An outlaw said to me, "Hey! If they want to wear 'em, be my guest; but if they try to make me wear 'em, I'll bust 'em up."
Some people in America still believe in life, liberty, and the pursuit of...
I don't like to be controlled.
So maybe if the control freaks stopped insisting that I wear one, maybe I would wear one more often.
I love it when someone tells me to wear one because they care about me sooooooo much.
If they really cared about me thaaaaaat much, they'd pay off some of my old debts or stick up for me when somebody writes about me on Facebook or...
Go back to the pathological need for control.
I believe in eternal life by grace through faith in Jesus.
If I have to explain that to you, you wouldn't understand anyway.
And that's why some folks will never understand why I won't wear their helmets.
"The truth will set you free."
Psst! I insist my sons wear helmets until...
Blessings and Love!