Faking Breaking News 1-4

Kopp Disclosure

(John 3:19-21)

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Hot Off the Wired from KD HQ

Back Porch

Belvidere, Illinois

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Everything's true between the lines.

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"Infusing levity into the insanity perpetuated

by the navel-gazing left, right, and

religious nutballs in America."

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KD FBN 1...from CNN as confirmed by The View: AOC is the love child of Hillary Clinton and Vince Foster...Anderson and Don have questioned accuracy as suspicions grow Rosie not Vince may be the, uh, uh, uh...Live reports forthcoming from A&D on Starz as they are also covering rumors of an affair between Bernie, Elizabeth, and Kamala...Trinities held at one of the socialist-such-a-common-man's many homes in Rhode Island or maybe Vermont or maybe Maine or maybe...Could just be opposition research as DNC labors to gain LBGTQESPN edge in 2020...Judge Pirro reported to have said, "Let 'em burn with the rest of the ragheads!"...Britt Hume opines, "Who would have thought?  45 seems more reasonable and coherent by comparison."...According to AOC, "I think we need to outlaw cow farts and children or the earth won't continue to revolve around the moon.  It's a good thing that my latest, uh, fact from the ozone layer of reality is 97% of America is gay anyway."...Beto asking voters in Guam how he should respond to anyone about anything.

KD FBN 2...Meghan McCain joins cast of The View to insist dad be added to Mount Rushmore sparking intense rebuke from Elizabeth Warren during press conference exposing the late Senator's application to the Naval Academy included inflated SAT scores, forged Eagle Scout certificate, Korean collusion, yearbook honor as most likely to get biggest state funeral since Mao, and nepotism prompting 45 to boast, "I told you he was born with a silver spoon up his..."...Maxine Watters immediately yells hysterically, "Impeach 45!"...Pope intercesses, "Nothing to see here!"...Felicity Huffman ordered to 666 hours of community service under supervision of R. Kelly...

KD FBN 3...Babushka-wearing Congresswoman Ilhan Omar "is as American as apple pie" claims Louis Farrakhan...adding, "Like me!"...Big pow-wow in Deadwood, South Dakota as Chief MAGA urges, "C'mon, trust our government!  We did!"...A fight broke out as a reporter from Milan, Italy boasted, "Yeah, but Columbus discovered America before you did!"...Rachel over on MSNBC unveiled through crocodile tears an 8-track of David Duke preening about 45 quote at rally years ago in Biloxi, Mississippi, "I am not a racist.  I can prove it to you.  I live by this motto.  Black is beautiful.  Tan is grand.  But white is the color of an..."...After Omar assured American women and gays that Sharia law will only mean incremental changes to their lifestyles and that they should pay no attention to Franklin Graham, the spirit of Will Herberg was seen taking the melting pot to crematorium in Skokie, Illinois...

KD FBN 4...Herr Mueller report out on heels of Michael Cohen exclusive to Chris Matthews, "Remember when you said you felt a tingle in your loins about 44?  I used to feel that way about 45 until I found out that he stole cookies from Brownies when he was at Wharton."...Now that ex-Cardinal Theodore McCarrick's spot as a saint is open, Pope considering late Senator McCain...R. Kelly wants permission to leave the country for a concert in Dubai...Gloria Allred agrees to request, "He should feel at home over there."...Suspicions mount to the reincarnation of "Tricky Dick" as the senior Senator from Illinois.  Just like the Obamacare bill that he never read, he concluded with his practiced empathetic sincerity after not reading the Mueller report, "While I have already made up my mind and will vote party line regardless of the facts as I pretend to be thinking and consulting about it, I am convinced my esteemed colleague in the other, uh, outhouse is right.  You go, girl!"...Then he played a tape of Maxine Watters yelling like a Pentecostal in heat, "Impeach 45!"...

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Blessings and Love!

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Wake up! Look up! Stand up! Speak up! Act up for Jesus!

Shatter the sound of silence!

Salt! Shine! Leavenate!

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