Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Faking Breaking News 9

Kopp Disclosure

(John 3:19-21)

@#$%

Hot Off the Wired from KD FBN

Back Porch

Belvidere, Illinois

@#$%

Everything’s true between the lines.

@#$%

“Infusing levity into the insanity perpetuated

by the navel-gazing left, right, and

religious nutballs in America.”

@#$%

KD FBN 9…Overheard in Tehran Sigheh with an unnamed imam who is Congresswoman Omar’s cousin via an unnamed Sigheh crossing other borders, Putin admits colluding with 45 loyalists to defeat 42’s sexual predator enabling wife: “We had a good thing going with 44 but no one trusts her. She is a known killer. Her bite is bigger than her bark. So we went with someone who’s bark is bigger than his bite.”…Asked about 2020, the Russian dictator notoriously suffering from short man’s disease crowed, “We won’t be working to get him elected this time around. Have you seen those weenies running from the other side? They scare us about as much as Don, Anderson, and the rest of the emasculated over at CNN.”…Pressed for a preference, he admitted, “If Beto didn’t remind me of a young Adolf, I’d go with him. But, for now, it looks like any of ‘em will do. They all seem to hate America and fit right into Nikita’s prediction.”…In an unrelated story, all of the hosts of The View rumored to be taking over for Nutrisystem frontwoman Marie Osmond…Hearing the news, Donny bought stock in Twinkies…DNC looking to Illinois to lead the way in 2020 campaign to contrast GOP’s disdain for personal liberty and the Bill of Rights as JB and the rest of the Madigan mob prohibit anyone under 21 from getting a pack of Marlboros while maintaining the right of 18 year olds to vote for ‘em, die for the country in war, have babies, drive cars, abort the unborn, and, as soon as possible, join their infanticide party mates in New York and Virginia…Baylor Baptists beat Notre Dame RCs for the women’s NCAA national championship but Muffett outdistances Barbie for best dressed head coach…AOC sends congrats to Geno and UConn…45 admits, “I don’t know. Maybe Joe would have preferred to grind with Kim. Frankly, I like Guilfoyle. Oops.”…Virginia topped Texas Tech as Misery movie Me Too forerunner Kathy Bates congratulates Cavs on winning “Mister Man” version of NCAA title…Pandering as usual in his resurrected quest for the biggest political prize, the great white dope gushes, “I’m so happy for Virginia. Doesn’t it kinda validate their recent efforts to legalize infanticide? Take that Pence! I’m with that sweetie from South Bent. Geez, I feel like punchin’ 45. Yeah, well, those Cavs. How about them going from last year’s disaster in the first round and reminding me of those Republicans who fold when it’s anything important or we offer a little, uh, resistance? When I beat the snot out of 45 next year, I’m going to invite lots more sweaty women to the house so I can…”…Noting the ratings differential between tournaments, AOC snaps, “Just another example of this G D garbage nation. That’s why I’m thinking of Bernie in 2020. That old geezer may drool when he speaks but he’s learned a lot from Cuba, Russia, Venezuela and I really like his latest slogan ‘cause it fits into the Green Deal: “Better red than fed.”…