Well, friends, I'm skipping the next two Sundays for our first family vacation in over 12 years.
Only because someone new to our family of faith said they planned to become "regular" if I'm not retiring and an oldie but goodie said I must be "slowing down" if I need to take two Sundays off in a row, I guess it's time for me to come clean.
Parenthetically, why anyone would ask if I'm planning to retire befuddles me. Heaven, I've been bald since I was 27; and anyone who actually worships with us in person or online hasn't questioned my, uh, uh, uh, enthusiasm for Jesus, calling people to faith by the book as enlightened by the Holy Spirit who never contradicts Jesus by the book, and unrelenting saltiness aka piss and vinegar.
Yeah, I'll miss messaging over the next two Sundays because, uh, that's my beruf; and I'll even miss being at presbytery because it's one of today's best mission fields open to us.
God knows as well as anyone showing up in person and online knows, I am more psyched and energized and purposeful and...than ever before.
I've caught His second wind.
I know that troubles some franchise folks that are trying to rotate off the remaining evangelicals in the franchise because we tend to salt, shine, and leavenate when Jesus and the Bible have become coincidental not fundamental to the increasingly sidelined mainline.
I know that infuriates people in churches that are sooooooo mad at me and wish I'd go away or die because I join faithful women and men praying and laboring to take "their" churches away from them and give 'em back to Jesus.
I know that frustrates peer pastors and other politicians who expect clergy to sprinkle some accommodating holy water here and there but not dare say sooooooo much in government, education, media, entertainment, churches and all of the below are going to hell without Jesus.
I can't wait to get back into the saddle!
Anyway, we've got some great worship services over the next two weeks.
Why do you want to know?
Are you an idolater or something?
Some people spend too much time watching Joel and other apostates.
Let's make this clear.
Unless you've deleted Exodus 20:8 and Hebrews 10:25 from your Bibles, worship isn't optional.
Two stories come to mind.
Renowned pulpiteer Henry Ward Beecher took off a Sunday. When the substitute noticed people getting up and leaving because they had come to hear Beecher not him, he bellowed, "All who have come here today to worship Henry Ward Beecher may now withdraw from the church. All who have come to worship God keep your seats!"
Here's one for clergy if they're still paying attention.
King James I became so annoyed by preachers who said nothing but said it eloquently like 44 that he demanded during one worship service, "Either make sense or come down from that pulpit!" The preacher replied, "I shall do neither!"
Selah, selah, my boyfriend's back!
I've caught His second wind and I'm going to give Don Lyon a run for tenure.
While I'm just scratching the surface of my relationship with Jesus by the book, I'm scratching and I'm an iconoclastic worshiper, soul-winner, patriot who still believes America can be exceptional if it gets back to its Constitution rooted in Holy Scripture and doesn't fall for the cancel culture crap led by those under the spell of the unholy trinity of satanos, Antichrist, and false prophecy, and rocker who still can't figure out why Mountain ain't in Cleveland's HoF.
Yeah, I'll quit when I start wearing a helmet, trade in my pony for a trike, stop going to Cuba and Bad Ash Cigars in Oregon, Illinois.
Fasten your pewbelts!